KOREAN CHEMISTRY

The National Emergency claims “chemistry”

With various autocrats

Is this anything like his “chemistry”

With porn star hazmats?

The National Emergency thinks he’s scored

Some kinda media victory

Setting his feet in North Korea

despite knowing little of its history

Let’s see if this bit

Of social media entertainment

Leads to the denuclearization

Of Kim Jong Un’s battlement

GET REAL, DEMOCRATS

Free college, free health services

Free everything in town

A segment of the Democratic Party

Wants free stuff all around

How they gonna pay for it?

Apparently not a concern

Just unleash the money machine

And hope it don’t burn

If Democrats don’t tone it down

They may turn off the middle class

And end up with the National Emergency

Having the last laugh

DEMOCRATIC DEBATES

Kamala Harris

Shut ‘em up

Maybe she’s what’s needed

To end the years of Trump

Joe’s a good man

So is Bernie

But they too much remind us

Of the final gurney

Among the rest

Elizabeth’s not bad

Just a bit too ebullient

For this ol’ granddad

And as for those guys

Yaking away in Spanish

Impressive I guess

But was it in jest?

Chuckie Boy Todd

Needs a new look

That growth on his face

Makes him seem a crook

GOP, PARTY OF GOVERNMENT DEBT

The Congressional Budget Office

A non-partisan group

Has exposed the stink

In the Trump-GOP economic poop

The CBO estimates the national debt

Will increase in thirty years

From 78 percent of GDP

To 144 percent in arrears

Much of the increase thanks

To the Trump tax cut

Which contrary to Pouty Mouth’s promise

Is keeping federal revenues in a rut

So debt, the National Emergency’s

Second favorite economic weapon

(tariffs being the first)

Is on a path to bankrupt

The nation’s precious purse

OFF TO THE G20

The National Emergency

Is off to Japan

To meet with the G20

And maybe ride in a sampan

A ride he could’a had

Fifty years ago

If his bone spurs hadn’t

Dealt his health a blow

Maybe other G20 members

View the National Emergency

As a failed Apprentice

A guy who tried and proved incompetent

But is still a menace

Or maybe they’ll play a few jokes

Give each other a nudge and a wink

And tell the National Emergency

There was a big ol’ fly in his drink 

NOT MY TYPE

The National Emergency said

She wasn’t his type

Meaning he only assaults those

Whose type he finds ripe?

And was “cocked and loaded”

A Freudian slip?

“locked and loaded”

Is the usual cliché blip

And suggesting that Biden

Has lost a step or four

Coming from Vacant Head

That’s opening quite a barn door

 😆     😈     😍     😾

COUGH OF THE DAY

“She’s not my type.” (Cough)

THE NATIONAL EMERGENCY’S NOT KIDDING

Gonna get them Iranians

Gonna starve them until

They kowtow to the National Emergency

Which might be a cold day in hell

Remember that this was all started

By the National Emergency himself

In an effort to make his predecessor

Seem not very tough

GOVERNING BY PUBLIC ULTIMATUM

Public ultimatums

They’re part of his show

Serious governing

He just doesn’t know

Threats and bombast

Was how he did The Apprentice

Real people in the real world

View such stuff as a menace

His goals are

Praise and adulation

Concrete results

Are of secondary consideration

PRODUCER OF CRISES

With advisors at Camp David

The National Emergency is meeting

Pondering ways to give Iran

A really nasty beating

His bellicose threats

Have fallen quite flat

His sanctions have failed

To bring Iran to bat

And this is all due

To a crisis he himself produced

In an effort to dis Obama

And Obama’s legacy reduce

 😆     😈     😡    💥

COUGH OF THE DAY

“I’m a man with common sense.” (Cough)

TEN MINUTES TO ARMAGEODDON

Ten short minutes

That’s how close we were

To nuclear Armageddon

The National Emergency kept us from war

At least that’s his story

Any reason to doubt him?

Well, there are two years

Of exaggeration, distortion, and verbal mayhem

If the nation’s security decision-making

Has deteriorated to the Orange Ogre’s gut

Then bend over

Pull your head between your legs

And kiss goodbye to your butt

 😕     😖     😒     😓

COUGH OF THE DAY

The General said, Sir, I’d like to get back to you on how many Iranians would be killed. (Cough)

ARE WE AT WAR?

Are we at war yet?

The National Emergency seemed reluctant

Or maybe he was just strategizing

But then our internet and TV went out

Down on the Outer Banks

Cut off from news

Not knowing what was going on

Not hearing the talking heads’ views

😕     😕     😕     😕

THE ENTERTAINER

Yesterday in Orlando

The Entertainer in Chief

Auditioned for another four years

Of bringing the nation grief

His act is getting old

Old and really stale

His clichés are mundane

His lies make you wail

His gestures make you snicker

His personal attacks make you winch

His self-worship makes you angry

His so-called hair makes you itch

But some of your fellow citizens

Enjoy the spectacle

Of a pompous loud-mouth jerk

Yanking the establishment’s tail

😡     😡     😡

COUGH OF THE DAY

Our air and water are the cleanest they’ve

ever been by far (Cough)

ONLY THE BEST NUMBERS

The National Emergency told his staff

“I only want the best numbers

I hear there are numbers that are prime

Only bring me prime numbers”

The staff scratched their heads

“Sir, we don’t quite follow you”

“I said only use prime numbers

What, were you people born in a zoo?”

So the staff got a few prime numbers

Three, seven, eleven, fifty-nine

And brought him the list

“They look good but I also like twenty

 Add twenty to the rest”

“But Sir, twenty is not prime

It can be formed by multiplying

Two smaller natural numbers

Calling it prime would be lying”

“Multiplying, so what?

Add it to the rest

I like it so it’s prime

And announce it to the press”

So the White House announced

The promotion of twenty

To the ranks of prime numbers

Making the National Emergency happy

Mitch McConnell said OK

Most Republicans went along

It was either that or

To the Trump team no longer belong

********************************

COUGH OF THE DAY

We have a great vetting process (Cough)

(COUGH)

I’m the greatest ever (Cough)

No one is greater (Cough)

I know more than anybody (Cough)

I have a great looking body (Cough)

No one is smarter (Cough)

No one is wiser (Cough)

My gut lets me know what is right (Cough)

I’m not susceptible to intellectual blight (Cough)

No one does deals like me (Cough)

I did not do the Russian pee (Cough)

I do not have tiny hands (Cough)

Nor any tiny glands (Cough)

My economy is the best ever (Cough)

I will lie to you never (Cough)

I am so rich it’s silly (Cough)

I don’t do things willy-nilly (Cough)

My golf game is almost par (Cough)

My ethics are way above the bar (Cough)

I treat women with respect (Cough)
My taxes you are free to inspect (Cough)

With Russia I did not collude (Cough)
Nor with a porn star get nude (Cough)

PRECISE LANGUAGE

Rick Santorum says

The National Emergency’s language

Is sometimes not precise

Duh, you think so Rick?

Your insight is so concise

If the National Emergency

Spoke math instead of words

Two plus two would equal eight

Four cows would be seven birds

Make any sense?

Of course not

Just like the National Emergency’s discourse

Resembles a possum doing the foxtrot

GONNA MISS YA’ SARAH; NOT

Sarah Huckabee Sanders

Is going back to Arkansas

Maybe run for Governor

Following the footsteps of her Pa

She was the ideal Press Secretary

For the lyingest President ever

Turning her office into

A fabrication endeavor

In the years ahead

When your kids ask “any regrets?”

Just look’em in the eye

And say go play with your pets

Particularly that snake I got you

The one with the fangs

He reminds me of my days

Arranging the Orange Ogre’s bangs

HAPPY BIRTHDAY!

Happy Birthday

To the Great Orange Hun

Being the total boss

He probably had a lot of fun

Maybe with a porn star or two

He watched erotic monkeys

Doing the nasty at the zoo

Or hanging with Kim Jong Un and Putin

His autocratic pals

He compared notes on diet

To control his enormous jowls

One thing he likely didn’t do

Was any Presidential work

Which just like most days

He leaves to some geeky staff jerk

MOST CORRUPT PRESIDENT EVER?

Most corrupt President in history?

The current White House occupant is the one

Certainly there has been none more corrupt

Than the Great Orange Hun

How corrupt is the Orange Hun?

Let’s put it this way

If his lies and corrupt actions were bees

Circumnavigating the hive would take all day

His corruption is murky and insidious

Self-aggrandization is its goal

Ends justify any means

Tells all that needs to be told

DID THE DONALD JUST ADMIT TO TREASON?

The Orange Incompetent

May have just admitted to treason

He suggested information on a political opponent

Even if from a foreign government

Was okay irregardless the reason

And his FBI Director

Who said otherwise

Was simply wrong

Implying the Director

Would be wise to revise

Topped yourself again, Mr. National Emergency

Just when we think

You’ve gone as far as you can go

You go further, into the dirty sink

LOVE THEM TARIFFS!

Got a problem?

Tariffs are the answer

At least according to the National Emergency

He likes the resulting rancor

From free traders

Adherents of globalization

And others whose intellectual development

Has moved beyond the 1930s’ Depression

In addition

Tariffs make nations mad

And the National Emergency

Enjoys being bad

A crisis a day

Is his motto

Otherwise life's boring

Like contemplating your big toe

MARITAL RULES FROM THE NATIONAL EMERGENCY

(For men only; women are nasty)

Rule One, Keep your spouse off balance

Pretend you’re mad even when you’re not

Glare constantly and grunt conspicuously

To keep her stomach in a knot

Rule Two, Play around

Preferably with porn stars

They’re generally good looking

And you can find them in bars

Rule Three, Keep your spouse

On a short tether

Don’t give her much money

Even in hot weather

BABY TRUMP BALLOONS FOR THE FOURTH!

The National Emergency is asserting himself

Deep into the July 4th celebration

He wants it to be all about him

The hell with the rest of the nation

Where can we get those huge balloons

with diaper, orange head, tiny hands, pouty mouth?

They would be just the thing to help him

Celebrate on the Mall come the 4th

If not a few big ones

Maybe thousands of the smaller

Blanketing downtown DC from Capitol Hill

To the 1600 Penn Avenue squalor

PS: Check Google for sales info

PRESIDENTIAL TROLLING

Trolling is becoming

The new world order

Spreading disinformation and misinformation

Beyond your personal border

Let’s make it explicit

Lies, falsehood, distortions

Fibbing, hyperbole, exaggeration

All fall under “trolling”

At some level of definition

The Internet rapidly deteriorated

From a way to spread the truth

To a way to troll unceasingly

From your little home booth

Even the President of the nation

Is a trolling freak

Undisciplined, belligerent, unrestrained

Spouting lies in a deep blue streak

TURNING THE CORNER?

The National Emergency’s European jaunt

Was a bit of a letdown

He didn’t make a complete ass of himself

He was only partially a clown

Is this a turning of the corner?

Is this a new direction?

Let us hope not else he may gain

Four more years for national deterioration

Oops, an interview just surfaced

Against a backdrop of an American cemetery

The Orange One has returned to outrageous stuff

So any conduct improvement attempt

Has been pitched far into the rough