PATTON WANNABE

The Giant Orange Pumpkin

Aka Cadet Bone Spurs

Has ordered troops to the border

The next step—calling up the Reserves

A deadly caravan

Of brutal women and children

Is fast advancing north

Threatening Duluth with oblivion

We need to prepare

Arm ourselves to the teeth

Barricade our streets

Store up the veggies and beef

The threat could be for decades

Eventually becoming a war

Meaning the Pumpkin might have to

Declare martial law

Never mind the Constitution

That document is no obstacle

Just issue an Executive Order

And the Constitution is rubble

YEA! NO MORE RALLIES (FOR AWHILE)

One more week ‘til the elections

And then we be done

Time to sit back, relax

And have a little fun

Except for the Giant Orange Pumpkin

Win or lose he will not be happy

He won’t have an excuse

To gather worshipers for a rally

So his staff best be ready

For a sulking pouting Pumpkin

Who might seek relief

By firing a bunch of his bumpkins

But after a few months

He can focus on twenty twenty

And resurrect those rallies

Making him happy aplenty

ANTISOCIAL MEDIA

They call it social media

And maybe it was at first

But as time has gone by

That bubble has burst

Now a significant component

Of that digital world

Is a plethora of misfits

Preaching mass peril

Aiding and abetting them

Is the Giant Orange Pumpkin

For whom social media

Is a tool for opponent thumping

Seemingly devoid of empathy

He entertains his worshipers

By deriding, insulting, and mocking

Those not his followers

HOME-GROWN TERRORISTS

The Giant Orange Pumpkin and his followers

Are focused on terrorists crossing the border

Meanwhile their inflammatory language

Could be motivating terrorists of the home-grown order

Politicians, particularly on the right

Need a time-out to examine their rhetoric

Do they really believe the apocalypse

That they verbally paint is imminent?

Defending The Pumpkin by saying

He shouldn’t be taken literally

May be okay for many people

But not for some disturbed mentally

“Lock her up”

May be a joke to some

To others it is justification

To go out and get a gun

Maybe social media is changing

The level of political discourse

Certainly not for the better

More likely for the worst

WORDS HAVE CONSEQUENCES

The Giant Orange Pumpkin

Is having difficulty

Toning down his act

Restraint is not in his personality

At heart he is a performer

Craving adulation

Without which he seethes

And plots retribution

Meanwhile the nation is experiencing

An election like almost no other

The toxic political environment

Is distorting our national rudder

TEN PERCENT TAX CUT, WOW!

A ten percent tax cut

For middle income Americans

That’s what the Giant Orange Pumpkin

Is bringing to the Mid-Terms

It seems the middle class

Was none too impressed

By the earlier tax cut

That flowed to the upper class

So now The Pumpkin

Is trying to make amends

By helping out the little guy

Trying to be his friend

And the impact the tax cut

Will have on the budget?

Don’t worry your pretty little head

We’ll blame it on the Fed

POLARIZED NATION

Trashmouth says it’s the main stream media

That has divided the nation

He had nothing to do with it

He did not cause the polarization

“Lock her up”

Was just having fun

It wasn’t as if

He was waving a gun

Yes, the Giant Orange Pumpkin

Is not taking responsibility

For anything negative

In the country

He and his followers

Are perfect little angels

Minding their business

Not concerned with political labels

If only the rest of us

Would conduct ourselves appropriately

Peace and harmony would reign

Everything would be hunky dory

ECONOMIST EXTRAORDINAIRE

The Giant Orange Pumpkin

Has found a new adversary

The nation’s central bank

Is his new least-favorite toy

He objects to the Fed’s moves

Regarding interest rates

He wants low rates forever

Or until hell freezes over

He brings to the issue

A businessman’s attitude

Which is low rates for me

But not necessarily for the next Dude

If The Pumpkin lends you money

You’d better pay big

But if you lend The Pumpkin money

Don’t be a pig

Macroeconomics

Is not The Pumpkin’s field

All he wants

Is to do a deal

That on-the-one-hand on-the-other-hand stuff

Just makes him wanna squeal

WHERE IS RUDY?

Anybody seen Rudy lately?

He seems to have fallen down a crack

Maybe The Giant Orange Pumpkin

Got tired of his blathering act

Or maybe he’s on a secret mission

Leading a caravan of migrants toward Texas

Calling attention to the alleged problem

Republicans hope will keep them in office

Look closely at the news footage

Of Hondurans traversing Mexico

You might catch a glimpse of Rudy

Under a sombrero

Urging on the masses

To create fear north of the border

Fear The Pumpkin can ride

To victory in November

THE PUMPKIN INCREASES BUDGET DEFICIT

The Giant Orange Pumpkin’s tax cuts

Are having an effect

The federal budget deficit

Is fast becoming a train wreck

Larger than Obama’s last years

And that’s not fake news

So thanks, Orange Pumpkin

For the financial blues

But The Pumpkin views government like a business

So he doesn’t much care

Bankruptcy wipes the slate clean

Leaving the creditors with empty air

That might not work with nations, however

So maybe a worried citizen

Should put some cash in a mattress

As insurance against financial oblivion

If the nation does go broke

The Pumpkin will likely feel no pain

He’ll seek financial asylum

In a wealthy refuge such as Bahrain

GULLIBLE NATION

What have twitter, facebook, instagram,

And youtube revealed?

That America is a gullible nation

Responsive to base appeal

Not all Americans, for sure

But enough to provide fertile turf

For fomenters of unrest

And creators of divisive stuff

Maybe what’s happening

Is not really a new historical page

Maybe it’s just the heyday of pulp journalism

Wrought for the Computer Age

The Giant Orange Pumpkin

In any event

Is right at home

Truth for him being non-existent

ON THE CAMPAIGN TRAIL

The Giant Orange Pumpkin

Is in full campaign mode

Holding rallies, telling lies

Dropping on the world his load

Mid-terms little more than two weeks away

The Pumpkin says it’s about him

Unless the GOP loses big

In which case it was about them

He hasn’t directly told an audience

To pummel a media rat

But he has praised a Congressman

Who did precisely that

A certain element of the electorate

Is getting exactly what they want

Which is smash-mouth politics

Of the meanest sort

The rest of the nation watches sadly

The decline of civility

Wondering how we extract ourselves

From the proliferating idiocy

CARAVAN A'COMING

A Central American caravan

Is advancing toward the border

The Giant Orange Pumpkin

Is getting his staff in order

But the two Johns

Kelly and Bolton

Apparently can’t agree

About what should be done

They got into a shouting match

With obscenities and finger wagging

Just outside the Oval Office

Undoubtedly entertaining The Pumpkin

Bolton likely wanted to nuke

The advancing caravan

He’s always been a tough guy

Despite looking like a clown

TOTALLY DENIED

For allies and pals accused of wrong-doing

All The Giant Orange Pumpkin needs

Is a “totally denied”

For any alleged misdeeds

Any and all allegations

Will thus be negated

And the onus shifted to the media

For perpetuating hatred

The Pumpkin’s idea of justice

Revolves around his wallet

What keeps it filled is good

What threatens it is unpatriotic

HORSEFACE AND POCAHONTAS

The Giant Orange Pumpkin

Is on the attack

Horseface and Pocahontas

Are getting a whack

Stormy, aka Horseface

Responded in kind

Suggesting The Pumpkin’s appendage

Was so tiny it was a crime

Pocahontas hurt her case a bit

By making a big blast

About a smidgen of Native American blood

From some generations in the past

Denigrating and bullying women

Is what The Pumpkin does

It’s number one in his wheelhouse

It’s something he really loves

Criticizing a women’s looks

Just like in junior high

What does it say about a nation

That elected such a guy

GIANT ORANGE PUMPKIN'S PLACE IN HISTORY

The Giant Orange Pumpkin’s

Place in history?

A wannabe strong man

Stuck in the wrong country

Look at who

He’s expressed admiration for

Kim Jong Un, Vladimir Putin

Mohammed bin Salman

Xi Jinping

He doesn’t seem to have met

A dictator he did not admire

Nor a democratic leader

Who escaped his ready ire

What historical figure

Does he most resemble?

Maybe the comical bombastic Mussolini

Another wild rhetorical animal

GIANT ORANGE PUMPKIN IS NO BABY

The Giant Orange Pumpkin
Took on Sixty Minutes’ Lesley Stahl
She may not have cleaned his clock
But she did give him a brawl

The folks at Fox News
Rarely challenge him
But Lesley wouldn’t be sidetracked
By his usual circuitous spin

She called him on his bullying
Of Christine Blasey Ford
Not accepting his assertion
That he said nothing untoward

He was not a baby
Several times he proclaimed
Lesley never said he was
She didn’t use that name

Does he protest too much?
Granted, with the tantrums and all
It sometimes certainly seems
Like a diaper change should be the call

THE GREAT ORANGE PUMPKIN AND ECONOMICS

Financial journalists

Are stubbing their toes

Trying to explain

Stock market and interest rate woes

And the Great Orange Pumpkin

Is not helping matters

By throwing out half-truths and falsehoods

That leave reality in tatters

Indeed the subject

Is much too complex

For a simple-minded Pumpkin, er, President

To digest

Incidentally, the acronym for Great Orange Pumpkin

Is GOP

Which is quite apropos

Wouldn’t you agree?

THE GREAT ORANGE PUMPKIN AND THE SAUDIS

The Great Pumpkin sits in the White House

Orange and scary and queasy

Worried about the money his hotels might lose

If he called the Saudis sleazy

Meanwhile DJ Junior

Retweets that the slain journalist

Apparently murdered in Istanbul

Was once a dangerous terrorist

Isn’t DJ Junior supposed

To be running the family business

And not inserting himself into

Matters of national interest?

The Great Pumpkin professes worry

About the impact on U.S. workers

Of cutting off the Saudis

From our arms industry producers

But really what worries

The Great Orange Pumpkin

Is cutting off the Saudis

May result in his own financial destruction

DJ AND KANYE

DJ and Kanye

What a pair

Much too much self-infatuation

For us common folk to bear

As Hurricane Michael was roaring north

After devastating the Florida coasts

DJ and Kanye seemed oblivious

To anything but their own boasts

While Kanye was discussing mental health

DJ seemed subdued
Maybe he was wondering
If the Secret Service could handle this strange dude

Entertainers they are

And that’s about it

But holy moly

One is the President!

TRUMP STOCK MARKET CRASH

Stock market went south this week

A big drop it was

Is now the time to buy, to sell,

Or to bend over

Pull your head between your legs

And kiss your butt adios?

Sarah Huckabee says

Things are just fine

DJ told her so

And he’s a financial Einstein

Never mind that your portfolio

Is subject to DJ’s moods

He gets peeved and grumpy

And the markets go down the tubes

Maybe he’ll decide

To invade Canada

Then your maple syrup futures

Could end up in Grenada

Easy come, easy go

That’s finance simplified

But here’s wishing we weren’t

At the mercy of a human ebb tide

ANGRY MOB? YOU BETCH'A

Are you part of the Angry Mob?

Do you care about America?

Or are you a fan of self-infatuation?

Are you a fawning Trumpster?

Sometimes the best defense

Against prejudice, injustice, bigotry

Incompetence, malfeasance, stupidity

Is simply a mob that is angry

If you find yourself not angry

At the current leadership of the nation

Perhaps you need to revaluate

Your most basic assumption

Which might be that those in power

Know what the hell they’re doing

That appears really laughable

Given the mess they’re brewing

HOW 'BOUT THEM SKINS?

To show the Saints a thing or two

The Skins went to New Orleans

The game was close and then it began

The Skins got themselves creamed

So another rebuilding year

For the Skins under Snyder

How many such years has it been?

Certainly a whole lotta

One thing Snyder has accomplished

Is to create empty seats a’plenty

Those decades of sold-out games

Have succumbed to general apathy