DEAL IN “PRINCIPLE”

 

Joe and Kevin reached a deficit deal
But the my-way or the highway extremists
Of each political party
Are not happy campers
And could get quite rowdy
 
Some say that’s just
Democracy in action
To others, however
It’s more like democracy in traction
 
In any case, getting the deal
Through a cantankerous Congress
Is not yet done
So uncertainty still shrouds the process

IS THE HOAX REMINISCING?

 

Memorial Day weekend
And down in Mar-a-Lago
Wonder if the Orange Hoax is reminiscing
About how bone spurs and Daddy’s money
Kept him from giving the military a go

DEBT LIMIT, THE MARKETS’ VIEW

 

Will there be a resolution
To the debt-limit imbroglio?
The markets on Friday
Seemed to think so
The Dow was up 328 points
That’s a whopping amount of dough
 
And that was prior to
A three-day weekend for a holiday
If resolution news turns sour in that period
Expect a market collapse come Tuesday

HOLIDAY TAKES PRECEDENCE

 

The debt-limit crisis looms
So what do Congressional Republicans do?
Threaten home for the holidays
Maybe take the kids to the zoo
 
If the situation is not resolved
Congressional paychecks would still be there
If some social security recipients

Have to miss a meal
Not the Republicans problem
No big deal

KICKED WHERE IT HURTS

 

Ron DeSantis announced on Twitter
His candidacy for President of the nation
Then Elon Musk kicked him where it hurts
With a technical-glitch presentation
 
Meanwhile, the nation is facing a crisis
For almost a month
Colbert, Fallon, Kimmel
Have been all but invisible
Something about a writer’s contract kerfuffle
This crisis is much more pivotal
Than the politically contrived debt-limit debacle
 
Sanity of the citizenry depends
On the calming effect of humor
Without those late-night jokes
The danger increases of a national brain tumor

A SANCTUARY FOR VLADIMIR

 

Putin’s still around
Hasn’t yet been run out of town
If he is maybe the Orange Hoax
Could give his buddy sanctuary
In the Mar-a-Lago compound
 
Meanwhile, Elon Musk and Ron DeSantis
Are getting together on Twitter
A perfect place for two weird dudes
Who aren’t the pick of the litter

JOKES ON US

 

Biden or McCarthy
Who’s gonna blink
Maybe it will
Just be a wink
As in we were just funning
Now let’s all have a drink

SHOOTING ITSELF IN THE FOOT

 

America takes aim at its foot
Will it pull the trigger?
Or will some degree of sanity
Prevail over rampant idiocy?
 
The deficit standoff is certainly
Not bringing out the nation’s best
Instead, ideology hard liners
Are pounding their pathetic chest

STATE LEGISLATORS ATTACK THE CLOCK

 

Grouchy old guys
Some old in mind and body
Some just old mentally
Are trying to turn back the clock
In far too many states
As a remedy
For the ills they perceive
In modern society
 
Hence, they are seeking to restore
Despite the will of the majority
The anti-abortion laws
Of the early 20th Century

ZELENSKY GOES TO G7

 

Vladimir Putin is PO’d
While he’s confined to Russia
Zelensky is traversing the world
Next stop the G7 meeting in Hiroshima
 
So watcha gonna do, Vladimir?
Destroy some more cities
Slaughter some more kids
You’re running out of atrocities

TIT FOR TAT

 

Mickey, Donald, and Goofy
Scrap a billion dollar Florida investment
And two thousand new jobs
Thus saying to DeSantis
“You don’t like us, Ron?
Then we will take our money and run”
 
So as Ron’s about to announce
A run for the Presidency
Mickey, Donald, and Goofy
May be looking for a friendlier residency

CHEW GUM AND WALK

 

George Santos said
He could chew gum and walk
At the same time
OK George,
There’s a line on the floor
While chewing your gum
Why don’t you follow the line
Out the door?
 
Meanwhile, classified documents may yet
Be the Orange Hoax’s downfall
Recently released records show the Hoax
Was fully informed about
Declassification protocol
Which did not include
A Presidential mental option at all

CRANKY OR CRANKYAI?

 

Who’s writing this verse?
Is it Cranky?
Or CrankyAI?
If the verse is lousy, it’s likely Cranky
If the verse is good, CrankyAI is likely the guy
 
Maybe Cranky needs to cede the limelight
To his more unfettered competition
And find a new occupation
Possibly social media influencer
Maybe he could attract a female following
With video of him as a prancing aging dancer

RAHM-SAN, OUR MAN IN JAPAN

 

Who woulda’ thunk that
Firebrand, four-letter-word Rahm Emanuel
Former White House Chief of Staff
And Mayor of Chicago
Would as U.S. Ambassador to Japan
Put on an exemplary show
 
Yet according to
A Washington Post profile
Rahm-san
Is a man
The Japanese mostly think is grand
One who works hard
And is not reluctant to take a stand

TOMMY TAKES ON THE MILITARY

 

Alabama’s gift to the nation
Senator Tommy Tuberville
Has concluded the U.S. Military
Is anti-white nationalists
Therefore Tommy is treating the Military
As an adversary
 
Tommy has put a hold
On high rank promotions
Until the Defense Department agrees
With his stance against abortions
 
Tommy’s life experience
Has been football
Which apparently has left him with
Knowledge of little else and
An attitude of winner-take-all

WHERE’S THE SURGE?

 

Republicans are disappointed
The predicted border surge
About which they fantasize
And that they hope tie to Joe
Has yet to materialize
 
Maybe the Orange Hoax
Is responsible for the situation
Potential migrants might have concerns
About becoming a resident
Of a country capable of installing
The Orange Hoax as its President

PREVARICATING DEMAGOGIC ORATORY (PDO)

 

CNN inadvertently sponsored
An Orange Hoax rally
That was promoted as a town hall
The audience was dominated by MAGA faithful
Who enthusiastically had a ball
 
It was American carnage
In all its glory
Showing how low some people can sink
When subject to prevaricating demagogic oratory
 
Let’s hope they’re just
A minority of the population
If they are the majority
America is indeed in deterioration

POOR GEORGE

 

Poor George Santos
Subject of a witch hunt
Criminally indicted just because
His financial activities weren’t upfront
 
Kevin McCarthy is still
A bit in George’s corner
A cynic might say just because
The loss of a few votes
Would render Kevin’s Speakership a goner

VISION OF AMERICAN CARNAGE

 

The CNN townhall Wednesday
Showed the Orange Hoax at his finest
Which is as the epitome

Of American carnage
Hemming, hawing, obfuscating, prevaricating
Agitating, suffocating, alienating
Not relinquishing the floor
Bullying, dominating, fear-mongering
 
America, do you really want this clown
Back on Pennsylvania Avenue?
How low we would be going
To reinstate his chaotic zoo

BIG NEWS DAY

 

Quite a news day
The Orange Hoax is out five million
     And is officially a sexual abuser
George Santos will be criminally indicted
     But he’ll probably avoid the slammer
Tucker Carlson and Elon Musk
     Are buddying up on Twitter
Putin’s Victory Day celebration was pathetic
     A one-tank loser
And Joe met with Congressional leaders
     The gathering was apparently a snoozer

DEFICIT? NO BIG DEAL

 

The first priority for neither party
Is budget balancing
(Clinton had the last balanced budgets)
For Dems, first comes the spending
For the GOP, number one is tax cutting
 
Meanwhile, the nation meanders along
Increasing the national debt
While whistling a happy song
 
Will the piper ever
Have to be paid?
Few are asking that question
Too easy to maintain the all’s well charade

AR-15 GOD STRIKES AGAIN

 

Another AR-15-style
Does its stuff
And what does the gun lobby say?
That’s just tough
 
Americans have a Constitutional right
(Never mind the murky wording)
To arm themselves to excess
So there’s collateral damage?
That’s the price of freedom’s success

KING CHARLIE

 

Charlie is finally King
Mom just wouldn’t leave town
But now she’s gone
And Charlie has the crown
 
An American who is envious
Of the Brits’ Monarchy
Is the Odious Orange Hoax
A King for Life wannabe

KNOW YOUR GENDER

 

What’s your gender identity?
If you’re in Florida
You’d better know
Entering the wrong bathroom for urination
Could result in criminal incarceration
 
If you’re uncertain about your gender identity
Gov DeSantis and the Florida legislature
Are on the case
Perhaps an Office of What Am I
Could provide an AI interface

LOOKING FOR DONOR

 

Put in a call to Clarence
Seeking advice on finding a donor
For grandkids’ college tuition
Should have thought of that sooner
 
Haven’t heard back yet
But expect a call soon
Just know Clarence will be helpful
In my quest for a golden spoon

THE ORANGE HOAX, HE-MAN

 

Recently a Conservative Pundit
Argued Dems were cowered by
The Orange Hoax’s masculinity
An assertion hard to deny
 
Afterall, who could be more masculine
Than a pudgy-boy fatty
With fake orange hair
Jowls resembling a toad’s
Skin a weird hue and ratty

NO LATE NIGHT!?

 

What, no late night talk shows!?
No Fallon, Kimmel, Colbert?
Where we gonna get the humor
To deal with the daily political dirt?
 
Meanwhile, if the economy goes belly up
Who will the voters blame?
Republicans or Joe Biden?
At who will the voters’ ire take aim?

MAGAS LICKING THEIR CHOPS

 

Hard-right Congressional Republicans
Apparently want a debt default
Nothing like financial chaos to bring
Economic activity to a halt
 
Allowing them to sit back and watch
The carnage that ensues
Entertainment like that
Is certain to amuse

JOE LAUGHS AT HIS AGE

 

At the White House Correspondents dinner
Joe joked about his age
Keep the humor coming, Joe
If you wanna remain on the stage
 
Age is most definitely a concern
To many a voter
Acknowledging that is advisable
Particularly in a humorous manner
 
Your likely opponent, the Orange Hoax
Is no spring chicken himself
The challenge for each of you
Is to avoid the onset of senility
Before the November 2024 to-do

RON THE GROUCH

 

Who is supporting DeSantis?
The Florida legislature
Which jumps to approve
Every DeSantis-backed measure
 
Anybody else?
Doesn’t appear to be many
Ron’s just not a likeable guy
His candidacy has skeptics aplenty

WOKENESS MEANDERING

 

Diversity, equity, inclusion
Versus living the golden rule
Is how a Gov Youngkin appointee seemed
To characterize the wokeness duel
 
Martin Brown’s remarks
Were in a presentation
To Virginia Military Institution faculty
During a mandatory training session
 
Brown very much dislikes
The term “equity”
Preferring instead
The term “opportunity”
 
Thus the wokeness debate
Meanders through the verbal thicket
Throwing one ill-defined generality
At another equally non-explicit

TUCK, WE MISS YA’

 

Has the Tuck found a new home?
Be a shame if his profile
Is permanently lowered
He’s a prime example
Of far-right insanity
And thus those in the middle
Would be deprived
Of his unintended comedy

DEBT LIMIT DANCE

 

By two votes the House passed
The Republican debt limit increase
Which tied raising the limit
To substantial spending decrease
 
House Republicans thus served a screamer
Into the Dem’s court
Can the Dems return the serve
With a defensible retort?
 
The goal now for each side
Is to make the other look the loser
Admitting to a compromise?
Not the desired political maneuver

GERIATRIC ZOO

 

Eighty year-old Joe
Is running for reelection
His Republican opponent will likely be
A seventy-six year-old bundle of corruption
 
Is that what American politics have come to?
Meanderings in a geriatric zoo?
 
Remember when Presidents were
Sometimes young and energetic
Kennedy, Clinton, Obama for example
They weren’t perfect but
Mental deterioration was not a gamble

SAYONARA TUCKER

 

We’re gonna miss you, Tuck
Your lack of charisma
Your distortion of facts
Your xenophobia
Your conspiracy theories
Your far-right propaganda
 
Was it the Dominion litigation revelations?
The criticism of Fox management?
The bad-mouthing of the Orange Hoax?
The toxic workplace?
The M&M jokes?
 
Sean, Maria, Laura
And other Fox commentators
Are wondering who might be next
On the down escalators

CHALLENGE FOR KEVIN

 

Can Kevin get the House in order
To pass the necessary legislation
Ensuring financial stability
And avoiding economic disruption?
 
Or is his party so chaotic
That Democrats will be required
To work with the few sane Republicans
In keeping the economy unimpaired?

AFFABLE HE’S NOT

 

The consensus is growing
Ron DeSantis is a jerk
De minibus political skills
The personality of
A disgruntled underpaid clerk
 
Even some Florida politicians
Are giving him the slip
Not wanting to go
Down with his ship
 
Labelling everything woke
Is being antiestablishment to an extreme
Declaring war on Mickey Mouse
Is quite an odd scheme

UNCERTAIN SUPREMES

 

The Supremes stayed the lower courts’
Overreaching abortion rights restrictions
Apparently to the irritation
Of Justices Thomas and Alito
Who prefer the nation remain
In a high state of frustration and aggravation

RAPID UNSCHEDULED DISASSEMBLY

 

Elon Musk’s SpaceX
Described Starship’s soon-after-launch explosion
As “rapid unscheduled disassembly”
Certainly a colorful description
 
Which also could be applied
To Elon’s dismantling of Twitter
The social media behemoth
That he is proceeding to neuter

FOX NOT OUT OF THE WOODS

 

A 2.7 billion dollar lawsuit by Smartmatic
Still hangs over the Fox empire
So maybe the nation
Might still have the opportunity
To see Rupert, Tucker, Sean, and company
Squirming on the stand
Trying to explain their apparent hostility
To the legal and moral foundations
Of democracy

FOX ADMITS GUILT

 

Darn
The nation won’t get to see
Tucker, Sean, and company
Squirming on the stand
Trying to explain their network’s dishonesty
 
But the payment of
A whopping amount of moolah
Is most definitely an admission of guilt
And not an exuberant victorious “Hallelujah”

KEVIN IS CONFUSED

 

House Speaker Kevin McCarthy
At a location that seems strange
Presented his debt limit non-plan
The location being the New York Stock Exchange
 
Kevin, you realize of course
That the Stock Exchange is not
Part of the national governing process
It’s just a place for money to squat

COOL DUDE WANNABE

 

I know a government secret
If I reveal it to you
Would I be a cool dude?
Is that what cool dudes do?
 
Cool dudes club membership
Is my goal
Cool dudes are the ones
Who are in control
 
It’s against the law you say?
Who gives a crap
Legality is just
An old fogy’s jockstrap

SUPREMES THOUGHT THEY WERE DONE

 

The Supremes will once again
Address the abortion conundrum
Hampered by the obvious hostility
And predominant religion
Of the majority
 
The majority probably thought
They could return the issue to the states
But for what probably won’t be the last time
It’s back on their plates

MTG DEFENDS ACCUSED DOC THIEF

Marjorie Taylor Greene
Rushed to the defense
Of the National Guard Airman
Accused of a classified documents offense
 
Marjorie said he was
“White, male, Christian, and antiwar”
And thus an enemy
Of the Joe Biden corps
 
So Majorie reveals
Where her allegiance lies
Not to her country
But to the extreme fringe
Of the MAGA political party

ANTI-ABORTION PRO-GUN

 

Anti-abortion pro-gun
Quite a mix for a political party
Thanks to the Supreme Court and the NRA
The GOP has
A wrong-side-of-the-issue monopoly
 
If you’re a bona fide conservative
Believing in small government
And fiscal restraint
The GOP no longer wants you
It wants an intrusive autocratic state

OUT OF HIS DEPTH

 

Congressman Jim Jordan
Is having trouble adjusting
From being a rowdy outsider
With little in the way of power
To Chairman of a Committee
With responsibilities aplenty
 
Maybe if he put on a coat
It would create some gravitas
And save him for appearing
As somewhat of an ignoramus

AI AS REPLACEMENT FOR GOP

 

Artificial intelligence
Is the latest frightening thing
Warnings are proliferating
About the evils it could bring
 
On the other hand
Look at the mess
Us humans have wrought
If AI could replace the GOP
The world might be less distraught

WHERE BE PUTIN?

 

What’s Vladimir doing these days?
Is he still in power?
In recent photos he’s looking
Pretty glum and sour
 
He’s most likely hoping his buddy
The Odious Orange Autocrat
Returns to the Presidency
Then maybe he can get his war
Back on track

SMOKED BY GOOFY

 

Goofy smacked Ron DeSantis down
That’s Goofy as in the Disney clown
If DeSantis gets smoked by Goofy
On a Florida wayside
How’s he gonna handle the competition
When it’s nationwide?

TOO MANY FOOTBALL CONCUSSIONS

 

Tuberville of Alabama
Former football coach and now a Senator
Is holding up military promotions
Because of his anti-abortion agenda
 
Tommy T has zero military experience
Or a defense policy background
What he knows is football
About military personnel or policy matters
He knows close to nothing at all
 
But he’s willing to disrupt
The nation’s military structure
For his anti-abortion agenda
From which there is apparently no departure

TENNESSEE RUMBLE

 

The Tennessee Republican House reacted
To a mass school shooting
Not by a gun banning
But by expelling
Two Black legislators
For protesting
 
One might conclude
A bit of an overreaction
But overreaction is certainly preferable
To seriously considering gun regulation

KEVIN McCARTHY DIPLOMAT?

 

House Speaker Kevin McCarthy
Is engaged in serious diplomacy
Meeting with the President of Taiwan
Isn’t this beyond his competency?
 
Let’s face the fact
Kevin's no intellectual whiz
He can’t even produce a budget
In delicate, sensitive foreign relations
He has no biz

HOAX’S BIG DAY

 

The Orange Hoax let us down
No courtroom drama
He scowled and sulked
And then scurried back to Florida
 
Where he tried to make up
For his earlier reticence
By rehashing grievances
On and on with little relevance
 
The prosecutor’s legal theory
Is a bit obtuse and murky
A misdemeanor records alteration
Becomes a felony when
In furtherance of a felonious intention
 
This may be accurate law
But in the political theater
It’s way over the head
Of MAGA’s lowest common denominator

CUFF ME, PLEASE

 

The authorities probably won’t cuff him
So the Orange Hoax should bring his own
The photo op is too compelling
To have the moment go wanting
 
It’s better than a rally
Which only Fox “News” would carry
The ratings for this event
Could be astronomically hairy
 
Don’t want to waste the opportunity
On nickel and dime stuff
Show the world he’s the man
An hombre rough and tough
 
So do not let us down, Hoax
Put on a show
Sock ‘em in the eye
Make the fur fly
Cause babies to cry

NO PUBLIC URINATION IN COLORADO?

 

Representative Lauren Boebert is against
Pee pee in public
Which is apparently the kind of thing
That happens in a banana republic
 
She went close to berserk
In a Congressional hearing
Accusing a DC official of
Condoning public urination
 
In her rural Colorado district
Where the deer and the antelope play
Is there no outdoor urination
Not even on a holiday?
 
Or in every nook and cranny
In the wide open spaces
is there a well-maintained porta potty
Maybe close to
A wayward cow patty?

BANANA REPUBLIC

 

According to Republican politicians
With the indictment of
The Giant Orange Bore
The nation has become
A banana republic for sure
 
But the nation earned
Banana republic status
In 2016 when the Electoral College chose
A morally corrupt Potus

POUTY REPUBLICANS

 

Pouty Republican leaders
Are putting on quite a charade
Pretending to truly care about
Coming to the Orange Hoax’s aid
 
When in reality their concern
Is maintaining their own standing
With the MAGA rabble
So their political lives avoid tanking

INDICTMENT

 

No indictment until
The end of April
That’s the word tonight. . .
 
OOPS! BREAKING NEWS!
 
Orange Hoax indicted!
Who woulda thunk it?
First criminal charges ever
Against a former President
Is this the future?
Hope it’s not a precedent
 
How will MAGAs and Republicans
Handle this event?
Is the nation in for another Jan 6?
Or will it return to lively
But comparatively peaceful politics?