RON VERSUS GOOFY

 

Ron DeSantis’
War on Disney
Does not bode well
For his possible presidency
 
With all the serious matters
Presented to the President
Would there really be time
To pursue Donald Duck and Mickey Mouse
For an alleged crime?
 
Ron seems motivated
By ephemeral wokeness
And personal vendettas
Rather than bona fide government business

MAYBE MOLDOVA?

 

Unable to take Ukraine
Putin might have his sights on Moldova
A neighbor to Ukraine’s south
And if that doesn’t work out
Maybe it’s exile to Siberia
Where he could while away his remaining years
Playing “glorious history” trivia

NATIONAL DIVORCE

Marjorie Taylor Greene
Wants the red states and blue states
To pursue formal separation
She wants red state goobers
And blue state goobers
To each live in isolation
 
But the problem is, Marjorie
Some red goobers
Live in blue states
And some blue goobers
Live in red states
So what’s the solution?
Forced migration?

ONE YEAR AGO

 

One year ago
Slashing into Ukraine
Came the Russian Bear
Intent on conquest
But Ukraine is still there
 
Putin envisioned himself
As restoring the legacy
Of first the Czars and then Joseph Stalin
And their “glorious history”
 
But within that “glorious history”
Is much rampaging and slaughtering
Which pretty much describes
What Putin is accomplishing

“I PROMISED”

 

Kevin said “I promised”
To release the Capitol security tapes
But Kevin, you didn’t promise them only
To the Fox biased news flakes
Particularly the show-boating Tucker
Who’s known for his fact reshapes

WOKE OR JOKE

 

The Democratic Party
May be woke
But the Republican Party
Is becoming a joke
 
There’s Kevin McCarthy
Giving Fox’s Tucker Carlson
Exclusive access to security tapes
For him to comment on
 
Or George Santos
Of embellishment fame
Truth to him
Is just plain lame
 
Or Marjorie Taylor Greene
Screeching through life
craving attention
Luxuriating in strife
 
So maybe being woke
Is not so bad
When the alternative is
A Comedic Olympiad

JOE GOES TO UKRAINE

 

Joe goes to Ukraine
Says the West is a staunch ally
Then gives a speech in Poland
Sticking a finger in Putin’s eye
 
This is looking more and more
Like a long drawn-out war
The only quick end might require
Russians throwing Putin out the door

EMBELLISHMENT GAP

 

Resume writers are needed
By the Democratic National Committee
To close the embellishment gap
With the Grand Old Party
 
George Devolder Santos put
Embellishment on the Republican agenda
Other Republicans are now jumping
Into the embellishment hacienda
Most notably Andy Ogles of Tennessee
And to a lesser extent
Anna Paulina Luma of Florida
 
It might not be long before
Republicans formally embrace the new direction
By establishing an embellishment caucus
To aid in embellishment collection

PRESIDENTIAL RANKINGS

 

President’s Day
A time for a look at the archive
In 2021 a C-SPAN survey
Of Presidential historians
Gave Presidential rankings a dive
At the bottom were three Presidents
From the Civil War era
Pierce, Johnson, Buchanan
And number Forty-Five

JOKE TV

 

Three Fox “News” commentators
Carlson, Ingraham, Hannity
Sold their souls for money
And henceforth reside
In journalistic infamy
 
Off the air they admitted
The Orange Loser was not re-elected
On the air they asserted
Fraud, corruption, and facts convoluted

MARJORIE AND GEORGE TEAM UP

 

Marjorie Taylor Greene
Is the MAGA queen
George Devolder Santos
Is the liars club host
 
The two are among
The co-sponsors of a measure
That would ban school books
Which incur the far-right’s displeasure
 
That’s what the nation needs
The federal government reviewing school books
To insure the books reflect
How the whackos' world looks

QUIBBLING

Since his State of the Union triumph
And the economy’s favorable performance
Republicans are reduced to quibbling
In their struggle with Uncle Joe
And his governance
 
Example is the Chinese balloon thing
Republican Marjorie Taylor Greene
Screeched that the giant balloon
Should have been destroyed
The first afternoon
 
Really Marjorie?
Dropping the several ton contraption
Onto a town or city
Seems like an unnecessary
Overreaction 

STEALING PUPPIES

 

Stealing puppies
From an Amish Farmer
What’s next, George
Molesting the farmer’s daughter?
 
Or maybe a scam
Targeting orphans
They’re your type of target
Vulnerable unprotected little humans

NIKKI STEPS FORWARD

 

Nikki Haley is in the race
How many more wannabe Presidents
Will formally announce their desire
To occupy the White House residence?
 
The Odious Orange Loser
Is hoping for a lot
The more crowded the primary field
The more he likely has a shot

PUTIN’S SLAUGHTER

 

Putin is ramping up his effort
To resume the offense
He’s throwing Russian bodies
Indiscriminately into the fray
Casualties will likely be immense
 
It’s how the Soviets defeated Germany
Back in WW Two
Putin certainly hopes
The strategy is good for a redo

LITTLE GREEN MEN

 

Chinese spy balloons?
What these things really are
Is little green men from afar
Come to take our intellectual measure
We could get them to go away
by having them observe
the House Weaponization Committee
in session for a day

SUPER BOWL

 

Super Bowl Sunday
Time to take a break
From the political kerfuffle
That is giving the nation a headache
 
Chiefs and Eagles
Who’s your money behind?
You are betting, right?
Or are you a weirdo of some kind?
 
Just know that
Online sports betting sites
Are coming for you
And your house and car
And your pension too

CLOWN-CAR CAUCUS

 

The Clown-Car Caucus
Also called the Republican Party
Is pursuing its primary goal
Which is affirming conspiracy
 
Weaponizing the deep state
The FBI colluding with the Presidency
The Biden family’s activities
The Caucus is bent on finding
Democratic impropriety
 
The heck with the economy and policy
Foreign affairs are of little concern
What the Clown-Car Caucus wants
Is to make the Dems squirm

PUFFY COAT

 

Marjorie Taylor Greene
Did a George Costanza
Sporting a puffy coat
At the State of the Union extravaganza
 
Then during Joe’s Speech
She did a Kramer
By disruptive conduct that included
Screeching the President was a liar

SICK PUPPY

 

Mitt Romney has roused the wrath
Of Sick Puppies everywhere
He said George Santos was one of them
And they don’t think that’s fair
 
Take it easy, Sick Puppies
Mitt was just shooting from the hip
Most likely it was something that
In hindsight he regrets letting slip

JOE HITS THE LONG BALL

 

At the State of the Union speech

Joe was pretty pumped
Telling us how well he’s done
He didn’t seem eighty
Maybe no more than sixty-one
 
As Joe got more feisty
Kevin seemed to grow more morose
His blinks became longer and longer
He looked like he’d just eaten burnt toast
 
A big question of the night was
Would George Santos be there
And by golly he was!
Wonder if he’ll be there next year
Mitt Romney reportedly told him
“You don’t belong here”
 
Maybe the most eye-catching thing
Was Arizona’s Kirsten Sinema
Sporting a bright yellow outfit
With huge puffy shoulder sleeves
Making her look like a piñata

ORANGE LOSER LET IN THREE BALLOONS

 

During the Orange Loser’s Administration
Three Chinese spy balloons
Transited the United States
Probably while the Loser
Was watching cartoons
 
This most definitely was
A most deplorable situation
And certainly requires
A Special Counsel investigation

VOTERS AREN’T EXCITED

 

Polls are showing
Americans are not particularly happy
About either party’s leading contender
For White House residency
 
But maybe lack of enthusiasm
Is for the best
When Americans get too excited
They can create a mess
Witness the Jan 6 insurrection
Where thanks to an overheated mob
Democracy was in distress

MAV GETS BALLOON

 

Maverick’s F-22
Came in low
The balloon sought higher air
Mav flipped on his back
The balloon said “No fair”
Mav countered “Sorry ‘bout that”
And sent a Sidewinder on a tear
 
Meanwhile MAGA Republicans
Took the opportunity
To bad-mouth the President
Thus proving for them
Everything is a political event 

BALLOON ATTACK!

 

How should the nation respond
When it is invaded by
A really big balloon
Way up in the sky?
 
Shoot it down?
Taunt is that the best you can do?
Launch a retaliatory balloon?
Stop feeding the pandas in the National Zoo?

"GIMME EAT"

 

On Wednesday
The House Judiciary Committee
Had a heated debate regarding
A proposal that the pledge of allegiance
Begin each committee meeting
 
The debate quickly degenerated into
“I’m more of a patriot than you”
It was reminiscent of
The Glorious Loyalty Oath Crusade
Of Joseph Heller’s Catch 22
 
So Matt Gaetz
In the words of Major ___ de Coverley
“Gimme eat”
How’s that for loyalty?

KEVIN AND JOE

 

Kevin and Joe
Had a meeting
Concerning the debt ceiling
Kevin emerged beaming
MAGA Republicans began screaming
 
We don’t want compromise, they shouted
We want insurrection
We want total victory
We want our Orange Lord
Back in the Presidency

HANG TOUGH, GEORGE

 

George, don’t let‘em
Run you outta Congress
You’re the nation’s comic relief
Fight for your DC address
 
So you told a few fibs
That’s not an oddity
Politicians do it all the time
Particularly the Republican variety

INNER CORE

 

According to some scientists
The earth’s inner core’s spinning
Has stopped and may be reversing
But there is no need for worrying
 
Of course not
Just because the surface
Spins in one direction
And the hot molten inner core
Starts spinning in another
Is no reason for apprehension
 
But in case there may indeed be a reason
Two options present themselves
One is alcohol or drugs to get high
The other is bend over, grab your ankles
Pull your head between your legs
And kiss your butt goodbye

LACKADAISICAL

How did the Odious Orange Loser do
In his first 2024 campaign appearances?
The reviews have been mixed
But there weren’t many exuberances
 
Pretty lackadaisical
Seems a common refrain
Maybe the Loser is losing his touch
At motivating the MAGA train 

HE’S OFF AND RUNNING

 

He’s back on the campaign trail
He being the Large Orange Loser
The first stop Saturday
Was the Granite State New Hampshire
Followed in the evening by
The Palmetto State South Carolina
 
One state named after a rock
The other after a tree
They hosted the Loser
Who has the intellect of a small rock
And the crown foliage of a decaying tree
 
The Loser said he was
“Committed” and “angry”
He’s angry alright
And committed he should certainly be

RNC CHAIR

 

The My Pillow guy
Lost the RNC Chair election
(Might have been a fraud)
That’s a real shame
He would have been a main attraction
 
Will the party continue
It’s subservience to the Orange Loser?
Most likely yes
The MAGAs in the street
Like the way the Loser
Articulates their angst and distress

MEETING OF THE GREATS

 

Elon Musk and Kevin McCarthy
Got together Thursday
Wonder if “Congressman” Santos
Stopped by to watch them play
 
Fourth-ranking House Republican
Elise Stefanik
Might have been there to
Making sure the gathering
Didn’t turn into a day at the zoo
 
Maybe they were planning for George
To do his drag queen routine
On the House floor
Just the thing to calm
The deficit ceiling uproar

THANK YOU, ELISE

 

Elise Stefanik
The fourth ranking Republican in the House
Was a major backer
Of “Congressman” George Santos
 
The nation thanks you, Elise
For giving us such a man
One who challenges the Orange Loser
As leading liar in the land

CLASSIFIED VERSUS GABFEST

 

The latest classified doc culprit?
The Orange Loser’s VP Mike Pence
Guess he’ll be losing
His security clearance
 
Speaking of which
Cranky once possessed
A fairly high clearance
But the contents of
The few docs he accessed
He’d already seen or heard
In the public media gabfest

BRETT RIDES AGAIN

 

The star of this year’s Sundance Film Festival
Has thus far been Li’l Brett Kavanaugh
A film relives those youthful moments
When he grabbed breast with paw
 
Wonder if he’s made moves
On any of his female Justices
Sonia, Elena, Amy, Ketanji
Certainly quite a bevy
For a man who likes to party

THE NATION AWAITS

 

When will Congressman George
(If that’s actually his name)
Give his first speech from the floor?
Let’s hope he gets the chance
Before he’s shown the door
The ratings would be extraordinary
And have C-Span yelling for more

DEEP STATE TAKES ON FONTS

 

In a most troublesome move
The Department of State
In changing its internal communications font
From Times New Roman to Calibri
A step many regard
As treasonous banditry
 
Obviously the MAGA Republican House
Will have to investigate
Subpoenas and maybe a Special Counsel
Will be necessary to calibrate
This latest bit of treachery
By the deep state
While the deficit ceiling matter
Will just have to wait

KEEP ‘EM COMING, GEORGE

 

Keep ‘em coming, George
We know you have more lies
Tells us about the time
You captured Russkie spies
 
The Orange Loser must be mighty proud
Of his lying young prodigy
George for VP
Might be gaining velocity

DON’T BE JOE NO

 

Joe, the debt ceiling matter
Could end your second term aspirations
If you persist in saying
No to negotiations
 
Yeah, play a little hardball
But show a willingness to talk
Don’t allow Republicans
To paint you as the roadblock

HYPOCRITICAL?

 

When the Orange Loser was honcho
Republicans found budget deficits immaterial
Now that the Dems are in charge
Republicans think deficits are really, really evil
 
Some would say that’s hypocritical
But that’s selling Republicans short
They’re not hypocritical
Just evilly, sneakily smart

GOING FOR THE BIDEN FAMILY

 

Republican Congressman James Comer
Chairman of the House Oversight Committee
Is setting his sights
On the Biden family
Specifically Joe’s two brothers
And of course son Hunter
A person of some infamy
 
At least Joe hasn’t made
The White House a family organization
Unlike the Orange Loser
Who went Mafia with his Administration

DEBT CEILING

 

"Debt ceiling"
Get use to those two words
Over the next few months they’ll become
As annoying as cackling wild birds
 
Any chance that the debt ceiling matter
Won’t go down to the wire?
About as much chance as you’d have
Inflating with your breath a flat tire
 
One thing about the good ol’ days
Was that policy matters were mostly the province
Of professional politicians
But in today’s media saturated society
Every swinging Richard
Considers themselves entitled
To participate directly
In formulating policy

POLITICAL WARFARE

 

Congressional Dems and Republicans
Are preparing for battle
Meanwhile most of the American people
Are tired of political prattle
 
The problem with democracy?
People who make it their life
Can get too invested in
The joys of the strife
 
And the majority caught in the middle
Have to spend time dodging
Those loving the scuffle

WHAT JUST WHOOSHED BY?

 

What just whooshed by?
Maybe it was a classified doc
Carrying away Joe’s chances
For keeping the White House
As 2024 approaches on the clock

SPECIAL COUNSELS

 

Are you an attorney
Worried about future income?
Then throw your hat
Into the Special Counsel jamboree
And your income problems
Will disappear permanently
 
The only negative thing might be
Retirement is not promising
There’s always another politician
Who needs investigating

CLASSIFIED DOCS

 

Classified docs can be confusing
To high-ranking politicians
Hillary, the Orange Loser, Joe
Each seemed flummoxed
By pieces of paper marked
With a version of “No”
 
Most lower ranking bureaucrats
Have no trouble with the concept
Of treating classified docs carefully
With caution and respect
 
But apparently at a certain level
Caution and respect disappear
Classified docs become little more
Than packing for storing your gear

KEVIN AND GEORGE

 

McCarthy and Santos
Standing together
McCarthy is treating Santos
Like a brother
 
Where did George
Get his money?
Kevin ignores the question
Like it’s funny
 
George is a Republican vote
And the Republican majority is tiny
The possibility of losing George’s vote
Has Kevin breathing erratically

FORGETTING VERSUS STEALING

 

Joe was caught red-handed
Forgetting he had classified docs
The Orange Loser was caught red-handed
Stealing classified docs
Then lying about it after hiding them
In the Mar-a-Lago boondocks
 
So who’s guilty of a crime?
Seems pretty obvious
It’s the pudgy orange swine

INVESTIGATE THE INVESTIGATORS

 

The focus of House Republicans
Appears to be
Investigating the investigators
Chase ‘em up a tree
 
For the last few years
They’ve made our lives miserable
Now it’s our turn
We’ll show them misery is transferable
 
Meanwhile, classified docs have been found
In a desk Joe had as VP
Republicans are drooling
“Gotcha” yells the MAGA posse

AN OPTIMISTIC HOPE

 

The mainstream media
In their never-ending search for gloom
Are predicting Kevin’s failure
And see nothing for him but doom
 
Maybe they’re correct
But one can hope
That Republicans learned in the recent election
Most Americans don’t want ineptitude
But a government to successful function

REPUBLICAN SHENANIGANS

 

Kevin’s off and running
Determined to show his party
That as Speaker he will put
Party before country
 
Never mind that he has a problem
Which is no agenda
Other than investigating the Dems
Until Jim Jordan gets them to surrender
 
Meanwhile Matt Gaetz
Is pondering his future
After showing the world
He’s pretty much a failure

KEYSTONE COPS EXTRAVAGANZA

 

Except for one lone Congressman
Republicans ignored the Jan 6 Anniversary
Maybe they were too busy
With their insurrection therapy
 
The House late Friday night
Put on a Keystone Cops extravaganza
First voting against Kevin
Then to adjourn
Then against adjourning
And finally on the fifteenth stanza
Giving Kevin his banana
 
What a way to celebrate
The Jan 6 disaster
With a Republican initiated
Chaotic endeavor

ELEVEN TIMES REJECTED

 

Eleven times Kevin
Has failed being elected Speaker
Maybe as a politician
He’s just a stinker
 
Meanwhile, Tea Party alumni
Are reaching an apogee
They have fellow Republicans by the short hairs
And down on one knee
 
Tea Partiers have long sought power
And now they have some
Their exuberance is palpable
As is other Republican’s glum
 
Finally, George still stands available
Awaiting destiny’s call
Give him a chance, Republicans
How much farther can you fall?

WE WANT GEORGE!

 

Republicans may be getting closer
As their party continues to unravel
Of recognizing George’s accomplishments
By awarding him the Speaker’s gavel
 
So he told a few lies
Big effing deal
For Republicans lies have become
The essence of real

GEORGE STILL HAS A SHOT

 

George still has a shot
At being the House Speaker
He’s preferable to Kevin or Jim Jordan
And only a tad bit creepier
 
The inability of House Republicans
To select the House Speaker
Is evidence of the legacy
Bequeathed by the Orange Loser

GEORGE FOR SPEAKER

 

If Kevin McCarthy
Cannot get the necessary majority
To exercise the House Speaker’s authority
Maybe George Santos the prodigy
possesses the necessary familiarity
With Republican morality
To overcome his perceived aberrancy

NEW YEAR’S RESOLUTION

 

Lotta newbies out on Sunday
Get-in-Shape New Year’s resolution
Most won’t last much more than a week
Before returning to the sedentary nation