Friday, January 27, 2023

RNC CHAIR

 

The My Pillow guy
Lost the RNC Chair election
(Might have been a fraud)
That’s a real shame
He would have been a main attraction
 
Will the party continue
It’s subservience to the Orange Loser?
Most likely yes
The MAGAs in the street
Like the way the Loser
Articulates their angst and distress

Thursday, January 26, 2023

MEETING OF THE GREATS

 

Elon Musk and Kevin McCarthy
Got together Thursday
Wonder if “Congressman” Santos
Stopped by to watch them play
 
Fourth-ranking House Republican
Elise Stefanik
Might have been there to
Making sure the gathering
Didn’t turn into a day at the zoo
 
Maybe they were planning for George
To do his drag queen routine
On the House floor
Just the thing to calm
The deficit ceiling uproar

Wednesday, January 25, 2023

THANK YOU, ELISE

 

Elise Stefanik
The fourth ranking Republican in the House
Was a major backer
Of “Congressman” George Santos
 
The nation thanks you, Elise
For giving us such a man
One who challenges the Orange Loser
As leading liar in the land

Tuesday, January 24, 2023

CLASSIFIED VERSUS GABFEST

 

The latest classified doc culprit?
The Orange Loser’s VP Mike Pence
Guess he’ll be losing
His security clearance
 
Speaking of which
Cranky once possessed
A fairly high clearance
But the contents of
The few docs he accessed
He’d already seen or heard
In the public media gabfest

Monday, January 23, 2023

BRETT RIDES AGAIN

 

The star of this year’s Sundance Film Festival
Has thus far been Li’l Brett Kavanaugh
A film relives those youthful moments
When he grabbed breast with paw
 
Wonder if he’s made moves
On any of his female Justices
Sonia, Elena, Amy, Ketanji
Certainly quite a bevy
For a man who likes to party

Sunday, January 22, 2023

THE NATION AWAITS

 

When will Congressman George
(If that’s actually his name)
Give his first speech from the floor?
Let’s hope he gets the chance
Before he’s shown the door
The ratings would be extraordinary
And have C-Span yelling for more

Saturday, January 21, 2023

DEEP STATE TAKES ON FONTS

 

In a most troublesome move
The Department of State
In changing its internal communications font
From Times New Roman to Calibri
A step many regard
As treasonous banditry
 
Obviously the MAGA Republican House
Will have to investigate
Subpoenas and maybe a Special Counsel
Will be necessary to calibrate
This latest bit of treachery
By the deep state
While the deficit ceiling matter
Will just have to wait

Friday, January 20, 2023

KEEP ‘EM COMING, GEORGE

 

Keep ‘em coming, George
We know you have more lies
Tells us about the time
You captured Russkie spies
 
The Orange Loser must be mighty proud
Of his lying young prodigy
George for VP
Might be gaining velocity

Thursday, January 19, 2023

DON’T BE JOE NO

 

Joe, the debt ceiling matter
Could end your second term aspirations
If you persist in saying
No to negotiations
 
Yeah, play a little hardball
But show a willingness to talk
Don’t allow Republicans
To paint you as the roadblock

Wednesday, January 18, 2023

HYPOCRITICAL?

 

When the Orange Loser was honcho
Republicans found budget deficits immaterial
Now that the Dems are in charge
Republicans think deficits are really, really evil
 
Some would say that’s hypocritical
But that’s selling Republicans short
They’re not hypocritical
Just evilly, sneakily smart

Tuesday, January 17, 2023

GOING FOR THE BIDEN FAMILY

 

Republican Congressman James Comer
Chairman of the House Oversight Committee
Is setting his sights
On the Biden family
Specifically Joe’s two brothers
And of course son Hunter
A person of some infamy
 
At least Joe hasn’t made
The White House a family organization
Unlike the Orange Loser
Who went Mafia with his Administration

Monday, January 16, 2023

DEBT CEILING

 

"Debt ceiling"
Get use to those two words
Over the next few months they’ll become
As annoying as cackling wild birds
 
Any chance that the debt ceiling matter
Won’t go down to the wire?
About as much chance as you’d have
Inflating with your breath a flat tire
 
One thing about the good ol’ days
Was that policy matters were mostly the province
Of professional politicians
But in today’s media saturated society
Every swinging Richard
Considers themselves entitled
To participate directly
In formulating policy

Sunday, January 15, 2023

POLITICAL WARFARE

 

Congressional Dems and Republicans
Are preparing for battle
Meanwhile most of the American people
Are tired of political prattle
 
The problem with democracy?
People who make it their life
Can get too invested in
The joys of the strife
 
And the majority caught in the middle
Have to spend time dodging
Those loving the scuffle

Saturday, January 14, 2023

WHAT JUST WHOOSHED BY?

 

What just whooshed by?
Maybe it was a classified doc
Carrying away Joe’s chances
For keeping the White House
As 2024 approaches on the clock

Friday, January 13, 2023

SPECIAL COUNSELS

 

Are you an attorney
Worried about future income?
Then throw your hat
Into the Special Counsel jamboree
And your income problems
Will disappear permanently
 
The only negative thing might be
Retirement is not promising
There’s always another politician
Who needs investigating

Thursday, January 12, 2023

CLASSIFIED DOCS

 

Classified docs can be confusing
To high-ranking politicians
Hillary, the Orange Loser, Joe
Each seemed flummoxed
By pieces of paper marked
With a version of “No”
 
Most lower ranking bureaucrats
Have no trouble with the concept
Of treating classified docs carefully
With caution and respect
 
But apparently at a certain level
Caution and respect disappear
Classified docs become little more
Than packing for storing your gear

Wednesday, January 11, 2023

KEVIN AND GEORGE

 

McCarthy and Santos
Standing together
McCarthy is treating Santos
Like a brother
 
Where did George
Get his money?
Kevin ignores the question
Like it’s funny
 
George is a Republican vote
And the Republican majority is tiny
The possibility of losing George’s vote
Has Kevin breathing erratically

Tuesday, January 10, 2023

FORGETTING VERSUS STEALING

 

Joe was caught red-handed
Forgetting he had classified docs
The Orange Loser was caught red-handed
Stealing classified docs
Then lying about it after hiding them
In the Mar-a-Lago boondocks
 
So who’s guilty of a crime?
Seems pretty obvious
It’s the pudgy orange swine

Monday, January 09, 2023

INVESTIGATE THE INVESTIGATORS

 

The focus of House Republicans
Appears to be
Investigating the investigators
Chase ‘em up a tree
 
For the last few years
They’ve made our lives miserable
Now it’s our turn
We’ll show them misery is transferable
 
Meanwhile, classified docs have been found
In a desk Joe had as VP
Republicans are drooling
“Gotcha” yells the MAGA posse

Sunday, January 08, 2023

AN OPTIMISTIC HOPE

 

The mainstream media
In their never-ending search for gloom
Are predicting Kevin’s failure
And see nothing for him but doom
 
Maybe they’re correct
But one can hope
That Republicans learned in the recent election
Most Americans don’t want ineptitude
But a government to successful function

Saturday, January 07, 2023

REPUBLICAN SHENANIGANS

 

Kevin’s off and running
Determined to show his party
That as Speaker he will put
Party before country
 
Never mind that he has a problem
Which is no agenda
Other than investigating the Dems
Until Jim Jordan gets them to surrender
 
Meanwhile Matt Gaetz
Is pondering his future
After showing the world
He’s pretty much a failure

KEYSTONE COPS EXTRAVAGANZA

 

Except for one lone Congressman
Republicans ignored the Jan 6 Anniversary
Maybe they were too busy
With their insurrection therapy
 
The House late Friday night
Put on a Keystone Cops extravaganza
First voting against Kevin
Then to adjourn
Then against adjourning
And finally on the fifteenth stanza
Giving Kevin his banana
 
What a way to celebrate
The Jan 6 disaster
With a Republican initiated
Chaotic endeavor

Thursday, January 05, 2023

ELEVEN TIMES REJECTED

 

Eleven times Kevin
Has failed being elected Speaker
Maybe as a politician
He’s just a stinker
 
Meanwhile, Tea Party alumni
Are reaching an apogee
They have fellow Republicans by the short hairs
And down on one knee
 
Tea Partiers have long sought power
And now they have some
Their exuberance is palpable
As is other Republican’s glum
 
Finally, George still stands available
Awaiting destiny’s call
Give him a chance, Republicans
How much farther can you fall?

Wednesday, January 04, 2023

WE WANT GEORGE!

 

Republicans may be getting closer
As their party continues to unravel
Of recognizing George’s accomplishments
By awarding him the Speaker’s gavel
 
So he told a few lies
Big effing deal
For Republicans lies have become
The essence of real

Tuesday, January 03, 2023

GEORGE STILL HAS A SHOT

 

George still has a shot
At being the House Speaker
He’s preferable to Kevin or Jim Jordan
And only a tad bit creepier
 
The inability of House Republicans
To select the House Speaker
Is evidence of the legacy
Bequeathed by the Orange Loser

Monday, January 02, 2023

GEORGE FOR SPEAKER

 

If Kevin McCarthy
Cannot get the necessary majority
To exercise the House Speaker’s authority
Maybe George Santos the prodigy
possesses the necessary familiarity
With Republican morality
To overcome his perceived aberrancy

Sunday, January 01, 2023

NEW YEAR’S RESOLUTION

 

Lotta newbies out on Sunday
Get-in-Shape New Year’s resolution
Most won’t last much more than a week
Before returning to the sedentary nation

Saturday, December 31, 2022

WELCOME 2023

 

Welcome aboard
Two Thousand Twenty-Three
What are you bringing
To human history?
 
Gonna be hard to top
Your predecessor, Twenty-Two
Who brought Ukrainian genocide
But managed to avoid
A Republican red tide
 
Perhaps, and hopefully, Twenty-Three
You will accelerate the Orange Loser’s
Downward direction
And confirm his legacy
As the worst ever Presidential selection

Friday, December 30, 2022

THE LOSER’S TAXES

 

Finally, the Orange Loser’s taxes
Are no longer a mystery
The bottom line seems to be
Accountants scored a victory
In keeping the Loser’s finances
Quite obscure and murky
 
Why did the Loser
Have foreign bank accounts?
Maybe because they made it easier
To disguise questionable amounts
 
No wonder the IRS
Didn’t audit him per the law
One glance was enough
To give agents lockjaw

Thursday, December 29, 2022

WILL PUTIN EVER SEE JUSTICE?

 

Putin continues with his genocide
Attempting to win his war through body count
Will he ever see justice for his atrocities?
Not until the Russian people
Overcome their autocratic partialities
 
For its habitants
An autocratic nation can be comforting
Just accept the status quo
No need to get overwrought
Just go with the flow

Wednesday, December 28, 2022

WHAT TO DO ABOUT GEORGE

 

Maybe Dems shouldn’t push
To deny George a seat
Having him around
Could be kinda neat
A constant irritant
To throw at Republicans feet
A snicker-trigger when
Republicans get preachy and won’t retreat

Tuesday, December 27, 2022

ANOTHER REPUBLICAN STAR

 

Another Republican star
Is scheduled to take office
George Santos of New York
Recently elected to Congress
 
Turns out “Congressman” Santos
Lies like a dog
Maybe the New York Environment
Causes brain fog
Like the malady affecting the Orange Loser
When he’s ranting like a hog
 
The choice now facing Republicans
Is principle or expediency
The former because it’s ethically correct
The latter to protect their slim House majority
That choice is partly in the hands of
Flexible backbone McCarthy

Monday, December 26, 2022

DAY AFTER CHRISTMAS

 

It was the day after Christmas
And all through the nation
Politicians were taking a break
From mutual vilification
 
The Pathetic Orange Loser
Was relaxing a bit
After a Christmas day rant
pronounced America unfit
 
But do not despair
The political wars will return
With each side chanting
“Burn Baby burn”

Sunday, December 25, 2022

TURKEY SANDWICH

 

Kayleigh McEnany
White House Press Secretary
For the Orange Loser
Told the Jan 6 Committee
If she had known the Capitol
Was being assaulted by a mob of many
She would not have continued eating
Her sandwich of turkey
 
Hey Kaleigh,
Would you also have discontinued eating
If other meats were involved?
Or is there a meat you couldn’t abandon
Even to warn your superiors
Of a possible ongoing Armageddon?

Saturday, December 24, 2022

CHRISTMAS WITH THE GRINCH

 

It was the day of Christmas
And in Mar-a-Lago
The Bloviating Orange Grinch
Was nursing his ego
 
Recent history had not been favorable
The expected red tide
Was barely a ripple
The Jan 6 Committee
Had recommended charges criminal
His following was shrinking
And appeared less formidable
 
Could he reverse the direction
His fortunes were taking
And ease the degree
His ego was aching?

Friday, December 23, 2022

GOVERNING BY SUPOENA

 

Dems and patriotic Republicans
Have given MAGA Republicans a break
A long-term budget has been passed
So MAGAs can now play as in recreate
 
And their idea of playing and recreating
Is government by subpoena
They plan on reliving
Their Benghazi nirvana

Thursday, December 22, 2022

NOT KIDDING ANYONE

 

Republicans may forcefully proclaim
They only want a short-term budget act
So come the new Congress
Their agenda will have a clear track
 
But if truth be told
Many of them are secretly overjoyed
To have Dems bear the political fallout
Of the hard decisions any budget can’t avoid

Wednesday, December 21, 2022

ZELENSKY IN DC

 

Ukrainian President Zelensky
Came to DC
Spoke to Biden and Congress
Received praise and aid for his country
 
But the end of his country’s struggle
Is not within sight
The obstacle is Comrade Putin
He’s gotta go
Only then will there be
An end to the show

Tuesday, December 20, 2022

THE TAX RETURNS, FINALLY

 

Apparently the nation will see finally
The Orange Loser’s tax returns
Redacted versions anyway
The House Ways and Means Committee
Acted in the nick of time
Before the MAGAs become
Top dog in the House tepee

Monday, December 19, 2022

MERRY CHRISTMAS, LOSER

 

Liz Cheney and company said
“Merry Christmas, Loser”
We’re telling the DOJ
You’re an insurrection instigator
 
Your presidency was a low point
In the history of the nation
Democracy did survive
But it was a close question
 
MAGA Republicans naturally
Don’t agree with the action
They’d defend the Loser
No matter how blatant the infraction


Sunday, December 18, 2022

REVOLUTIONARY SPIRIT GONE BYE-BYE

 

Putin still in power?
What’s happened to
The Russian spirit of revolution?
Did the massive eruption
Of the early 1900s
And the following decades
Of totalitarian subjugation
Zap the desire and ability to confront
Governmental incompetence and corruption?

Saturday, December 17, 2022

JAN 6 CHRISTMAS GIFT

 

A Christmas gift is coming
To the Garrulous Orange Loser
Recommendations from the Jan 6 Committee
That the Loser and cronies be charged
With crimes more serious than profanity
Maybe even as significant as
Overthrowing governmental authority

Friday, December 16, 2022

DIGITAL TRADING CARDS

 

The Loquacious Orange Loser is grifting
Digital trading cards of himself
As if he were selling canned spam
How many MAGAs will contribute
To this latest scam?
 
The really scary thing
Is not with the Loser
It’s with those citizens who
Still worship that abuser

Thursday, December 15, 2022

HARRY AND MEGHAN

 

Harry and Meghan
Have found a lucrative gig
Bad mouthing their Royal Family
Pays off really big
 
Most of us
Who criticize our relatives
Get little more in return
Than creative expletives

Wednesday, December 14, 2022

UKRAINE ESCALATION?

 

Patriot missiles might be
On the way to Ukraine
Putin’s not happy
Can he be restrained?
 
He appears all in
On his criminal invasion
And if he can’t win
He’ll settle for devastation
 
Maybe it’s up to his countrymen
To show a little gumption
And send Comrade Putin
On a Siberian vacation

Tuesday, December 13, 2022

CIVICS

 

Remember high school civics?
Politics was benignly depicted
As cooperation and compromise
Motives were assumed laudatory
Disagreements were not dramatized
 
Wow! Talk about brain-washing young minds
Hey kids, got a surprise for you
Adult-world politics
Is a nasty back-stabbing zoo

Monday, December 12, 2022

"WE WOULDA WON"

 

Marjorie Taylor Greene says
“We woulda won”
If she and Steve Bannon had organized Jan 6
Marjorie, you’re turning your followers on
 
Especially those good ol’ boys
Who like their women feisty
And armed with an AR
Feisty, mean, and nasty
 
Kevin, you tender little fella
Are you ready for Majorie?
The backwoods of Georgia
Sends forth a different product
Than la-la land California

Sunday, December 11, 2022

INVESTIGATIONS A’COMING

 

Are House Republicans interested in
Passing useful legislation?
Most of them prefer
Investigation, investigation, investigation
 
Like back when Trey Gowdy and company
Spent years investigating Benghazi
Until Hillary was sufficiently smeared
To not achieve the Presidency

Saturday, December 10, 2022

KYRSTEN SINEMA ASSERTS HERSELF

 

I don’t play well with others
In effect said Senator Kyrsten Sinema
So take your party and shove it
Besides, I like a little drama
 
So Kyrsten is on her own
But her status is a bit murky
She will still maybe sorta caucus with
The Democratic Party

Friday, December 09, 2022

ON THE INFLATION TRAIN

 

Got notice recently
About a nice increase in Social Security
This was probably for meritorious performance
Or maybe an inflation thingy
 
If so, let’s have more inflation
Us old folks will get rich
And the youngsters might get
A bigger inheritance

Thursday, December 08, 2022

TSUNAMI A’COMING

 

A tsunami is drawing near
The Loquacious Orange Loser
Stands in its path
Congress, courts, and justice offices
Are bringing serious wrath
And the Loser’s not helping
By practicing poor political craft
 
Could the Loser end up in the slammer?
Probably unlikely
But it’s certainly enjoyable
Imagining him in a cell
Urinating in a pot
As his world goes to hell

Wednesday, December 07, 2022

GOUT IS BACK

 

Gout has returned
This time to the elbow
Maybe it got tired
Of the smelly big toe
 
Wonder if
The Loquacious Orange Loser
Has bouts of gout?
Probably not, he isn’t a boozer
 
But it’s entertaining to imagine him
In excruciating agony
As the nasty gout devils
Exercise their brutality

Tuesday, December 06, 2022

GEORGIA SENATE RACE

 

The early ballots are in
Warnock has this won
Hold on there, Chunky
This thing is not done
 
Okay, okay, okay
We’ll try to restrain
Opps, here come Herschel
Now he’s the front train
 
So it goes
Left and right
Keeping the nation up
Far into the night
 
Well, getting pretty late
Time for bed
We’ll find out in the morning
Who came out ahead
 
Just got up to tinkle
Learned Warnock was on top
Chalk up another loss
To the Mar-a-Lago flop

Monday, December 05, 2022

SHELLACKING OR SMACKING

 

The final episode
Of the ’22 election drama
Is now underway
On a rainy night in Georgia
 
The outcome will determine
Whether nationally the GOP
Took a shellacking
Or just a bit of a smacking

Sunday, December 04, 2022

SQUEAKERS

 

Warnock and Walker
Approaching the finish line
Polls showing their separation
Being not much more than a dime
 
Speaking of squeakers
Kevin no-backbone McCarthy
Wants to be House Speaker
If he manages to succeed
It will just be a squeaker

Saturday, December 03, 2022

CONSTITUTION IS THE CULPRIT

 

The Loquacious Orange Loser
Has found a new foe
He sees the U.S. Constitution
As responsible for his woe
 
Maybe he’s preparing for
The handwriting on the wall
The law is coming for him
And he may finally fall
 
His only hope then
Is another insurrection
Something frowned on
By the Constitution

Friday, December 02, 2022

GUNS AND CONSTITUTIONAL ORIGINALISM

 

Cranky’s taking a break

From verse for a day
But have no sorrow
Verse will return
Likely tomorrow

Two barriers prevent effective, meaningful, and pervasive regulation of guns in the United States. The first is a deeply held political belief that guns equal freedom. This ideological stance was not particularly entrenched for much of the nation’s history. Its current widespread viability can be attributed to the National Rifle Association’s efforts and hardline propaganda dating back to the 1970s.

The second barrier to effective gun regulation is the oddly worded Second Amendment to the U.S. Constitution and its judicial interpretations.

          This summary is focused primarily on the second barrier, the Constitution’s Second Amendment. The first barrier, the political belief that guns equal freedom, would require a thorough examination of the national psyche and perhaps multiple sessions with a national psychiatrist.

          Removing the Second Amendment as a major barrier to effective gun regulation could take one of three approaches.

          First, the Constitution itself could be amended by eliminating the Second Amendment or by clearing up its weird wording (principally the militia reference) and explicitly narrowing its scope. This would be the most direct approach but also the most formidable. Amending the Constitution on a contentious issue is an uphill, long-term endeavor.

         Second, the currently popular and close-to-dominant originalist avenue to constitutional interpretation could be curtailed. In general, originalism mandates interpreting the words of the Constitution with their meanings at the time of their adoption. At the extreme, this can lead to a brain-dead document that is a barrier to meaningful action on modern problems.

         Putting originalism back in its cage would also be a long-term formidable endeavor, but perhaps a bit more practical than the amending route. Outside of changing the minds of current Supreme Court Justices, the approach would require waiting on the departure of current originalists and appointing more realistic Justices in their place. Of course, this also requires like-minded Presidents and Congresses.

         The third approach to lessening the current rigidity of the Second Amendment is to take the opposite view of originalism and go all in on the concept. Constitutional provisions can only mean what the words meant when they were adopted? Then “arms” in the Second Amendment can only refer to ye ol’ flintlock and similar artifacts. “Arms” do not include AR-15s and other modern weapons, which thus are not covered by the Second Amendment.

         Of the three approaches to reducing the Second Amendment barrier to effective gun regulation, the second seems the most realistic. But re-educating current Justices on the absurdity of strict originalism and waiting on the appointment of less narrow-minded new Justices will take some time.

         Meanwhile, work could proceed on the first barrier to effective gun regulation--the guns equal freedom equation—and the national mental therapy needed to put this historical aberration in its place.

Thursday, December 01, 2022

LOSER LOSES AGAIN

 

A federal appeals court just overturned
The special master appointment
By a federal district court judge
Thus saying in effect
To the judge and the Orange Loser
Negative on this
Weird legal maneuver