TAKE THAT, FEDERAL WORKERS

Federal workers are busting the budget

Thus says His Majesty

So no raises for them

And no, that’s not a travesty

And stop complaining about

Tax cuts for the rich

They are DJ's friends and your betters

Now get back in your ditch

Sacrifices are for you worker bees

It’s as necessary as flour for dough

You can’t expect fairness

With the one percent running the show

A budget deficit due to tax cuts

For the rich friends of DJ

Is certainly not a problem

Such a deficit is more than okay

But if the deficit cause is

A few more bucks for a GS eleven

Lawdy, Miss Clawdy

That deficit can’t be allowed to happen

IMPEACHMENT? BE WARY, DEMS

DJ’s impeachment

Might be coming down the pike

Maybe depends on which party

Prevails election night

But if the Dems win

They best be cautious

It’s not an impeachable offense

Merely to be odious

High crimes and misdemeanors

Are what the Constitution dictates

Just being Donald

Is not an impeachable mandate

Maybe the necessary offenses

Will emerge from the mire

But be cautious, Dems

Evidence is more than mere desire

Besides, don’t waste all your ammo

On 2018

2020 is when

You want your best team in

NEEDY DJ

As a hero is buried

Needy DJ’s next few days

Are gonna be quite tough

He likely won’t be the center of attention

And for him that’s really rough

Maybe he’ll react

By imposing a tariff on Norway

Firing Jeff Sessions

Or closing a federal highway

Anything to have the media

Refocus on what’s number one

Which is his Royal Highness

And all that he has done

And if you doubt his importance

Just remember his warning

If Republicans do badly in November

Mobs will be swarming

Because if Republicans lose

The election will obviously have been rigged

Justifying violence

Against the media pigs  

CONSPIRACY!

DJ says Google

Is conspiring against him

By returning only negative stuff

To requests of the search engine

This conspiracy is allegedly

Very far-reaching

Aimed at suppressing conservatives

And their teaching

Ah, the right wing and their conspiracies

What a gullible group

A deep state in every corner

A liberal plot under every stoop

Social media and the worldwide web

Have bestowed a platform upon

Those who could not pass

Truth 101

And leading the pack of Deficients

Is His Highness himself

A gentleman with the intellect (and hands)

Of a very tiny elf

MEXICAN TRADE DEAL

“Incredible deal,” “Tremendous thing”

Were the words DJ let fall

About a preliminary trade deal

With neighbor who’s not building a wall

But if you look closely

At the situation

Two problems are evident

That might temper expectation

First, the agreement

Is just preliminary

Congress and Canada

Are hurdles to permanency

Second, despite DJ’s use

Of adjectives galore

The agreement doesn’t really

Change the score

A few adjustments here

A few adjustments there

And what you have

Is change by no more than a hair

JOHN McCAIN

John McCain

Was an honorable man

He served the country heroically

In a way only a few can

In the world of politics

And political grandstanding

His was a voice of decency

And bi-partisan understanding

His priorities were not

Money and adulation

His country came first

Not self-aggrandization

He was not perfect

None of us are

But if a child wants someone to emulate

Point to John McCain’s star

DJ'S FINANCIAL GUY

Now things are getting serious

DJ’s financial guy

Is cooperating with the Feds

And he may provide one scrumptious pie

DJ’s legal, media, and financial triumvirate

Are now maybe Mueller’s pals

Maybe having a drink after work

Making jokes about DJ’s gals

But people say DJ

Likes his back against the wall

If that is so

He should now be having a ball

Incidentally, what is the deal

On cancelling Pompeo’s call

On the Little Rocket Man

Has denuking hit a wall?

DJ says it’s China’s fault

For not pressuring Little Rocket Man

China is probably distracted

By DJ’s trade war so grand

PECKER RISES TO THE OCCASION

It doesn’t always happen

Some gentlemen, particularly of the elderly persuasion

Are just not able

But in this instance, Pecker rose to the occasion

The National Enquirer publisher

Cooperated with the Feds

In their effort

To put Cohen to bed

Now the question is

Will Pecker cooperate more

To put the shaft to DJ

And maybe show him the exit door

Pecker reportedly has a safe

Full of stuff derogatory

About DJ and his affairs

Both erotic and monetary

Would it be enough

To bring DJ down

Probably not considering

DJ’s ability to slip and slide around

TURNING POINT?

Year three in the reign of DJ is approaching

And here is the question

Does he represent a fundamental national decline

Or is he an aberration?

The fundamental decline argument

Is buttressed by the fact

That Republicans remain largely accepting

Of what to most others is a quack

The aberration argument

Resides in the fact

That most other Americans

Do indeed consider him whacked

Is this a national turning point

Where history starts a descent

Into at best a sustained mediocrity

That no one can prevent?

Or will we somehow rise

From this deep nadir

To continue an historical journey

As a bona fide (but sometimes flawed) exemplar?

MANAFORT AND COHEN

Manafort and Cohen

Going to the slammer

How about DJ

He’s looking for a hammer

To bash those media heads

Who obviously are behind

The grave injustices being perpetuated

Just to make a dime

Yes, in DJ’s view

It’s mostly about money

At least in his life

Money has always been honey

But he’s also wanted to be worshiped

Money and adulation

Ever since childhood

He’s needed the attention

Will DJ get outta this?

Don’t be surprised

He’s as slippery as an eel

And to the occasion could rise

MOUNTAIN HOME

There’s a nice little community in Idaho

Name of Mountain Home

Where the deer and the antelope play

And the buffalo, if there were any, would roam

The community does have a quirk, however

The street grid is numbered in both directions

That is, the north-south streets are numbered

And the east-west streets have similar identifications

So you have intersections
Such as

East 10th North Street

And North 10th East Street

The locals have no problem

Having mastered the maze

But visitors can be perplexed

Their minds muddled in a haze

So if you happen to visit

The golf course is more than regulation

The nearby mountains are awesome

Just be careful getting to your destination

TRUTH ISN"T TRUTH

Truth isn’t truth

So says Giuliani

It depends on who’s talking

And maybe whether their feeling randy

DJ’s spokespersons often

See words as very flexible

Recall Conway’s “alternative facts”

That she found respectable

Perjury trap is what concerns

DJ’s attorneys

And just what is a perjury trap?

With DJ,

It’s pretty much anything spewing from his yap

Never in American history

Has there been such carelessness

In labelling facts as fiction

And fiction as truthfulness

When the Trump disaster has run its course

And normal mild chaos replaced the extreme

Will truth be a permanent casualty

Or will all this just be a bad dream?

WHINING BOY

DJ’s outpouring of words

Be it statements, rallies, or twitter

Have analysts confused

And all in a dither

Is there a strategy involved

An underlying plan or scheme?

Or is DJ just shooting from the hip

Whenever something annoys his spleen

If one looks closely enough

There is a common element

The rantings, ravings, and threats

All have a whining component

Yes, DJ is like an unhappy

and petulant four-year old

Whining about food, siblings, adults,

The weather, playtime, and what all

So the next time you see DJ

Spewing a load of vitriol

Don’t think calculating adult

Think playground four-year old

LOST PARADE

Cadet Bone Spurs lost his parade

So he’s going to France instead

The French really are nice to him

He sleeps in Marie Antoinette’s bed

(Remember she lost her head)

Since nothing is ever DJ’s fault

He’s looking for someone to name

The DC Government is a handy culprit

So that’s who’s getting the blame

Never mind that a great many people

Think the idea of a massive parade

Was mainly for glorifying DJ

And his enormous orange head

The question now is

Will DJ behave himself in France

Or will he disrupt the Armistice Celebration

With some inappropriate rant

DJ is likely unaware

Of who was in WW One

And how it came about

He just knows parades are great fun

URITROTTOIRS

Didja’ catch the latest news

About the new Parisian invention

They are called uritrottoirs

And they’re for public urination

Like a trash can

They are on the street

You just step in close

And the public can’t see the meat

Your head, shoulders, and backside

Are all in public view

But no need to be embarrassed

Your boy is in the loo

What a tourist attraction

These things will be

Every visiting American

Will want a public pee

Visiting males, that is

Females aren’t accommodated

Their anatomy results in

Needs that are more complicated

SECURITY CLEARANCES

Brennan lost his security clearance

For criticizing the President

Are we a great nation

Or just a banana republic?

DJ has found the Presidency

To be burdened with constraints

Not like running a family business

Where there were no restraints

Back at Trump Tower

DJ’s word was law

His wants were instantly filled

By sycophants galore

But the Presidency is different

In a government of multiple restraints

Dictatorial behavior

Is not what it takes

Security clearances are one thing

Over which DJ has some power

So to show he’s the boss

He’s stripping critics bare

DJ AND JOHN MCCAIN

While DJ was nursing his bone spurs

John McCain was in a North Vietnamese prison

And yet the nation gave DJ

The keys to the Executive Mansion

Oh, John McCain is not perfect

After all, he chose Sarah Palin

To be a heartbeat from the nuclear codes

That could end civilization

But DJ’s dismissal of McCain

For being a prisoner taken

Is an insult to the military

That protects the nation

DJ is a multi-flawed human

Whose unpredictability

Is a threat to international order

And even to humanity

DJ’s penchant for lashing out

Is both childish and frightening

And belies his campaign statement

That acting presidential would be to his liking

"BUSINESSMAN" PRESIDENT

DJ’s mantra was, I’m a businessman

I know how things are run

You Government chumps get outta the way

I will get things done.

But the problem is

Some businesses are well run, some are not

DJ’s largely weren’t

And that’s not poppy cot

DJ was less businessman

And more an entertainer

And not really even that

Just a bombastic pretender

Omarosa, bless her little heart

She found DJ’s core

Which seems to be that

He’s a racist bore

DJ is taking Omarosa

To arbitration court

For violating a non-disclosure agreement

By disclosing that DJ is a dork

FAKE BIKE BOY

Priced a Harley yesterday

Ain’t had a bike in years

But damned if I’m gonna listen

To some fake bike boy

Who’s never shifted gears

What is fake bike boy thinking

Denigrating an American icon?

It’s time he shut his trap

And reviewed introductory econ

Hey fake bike boy,

We live in a global economy

National borders don’t mean squat

To electronic money

Maybe you need to get your head

Out of nineteen fifty four

And grasp the simple fact

That you can’t close the economic door

You’ve surrounded yourself

With economic Neanderthals

Who feed your bottomless ignorance

With isolationist meatballs

LEADERSHIP 101

Has there ever been such a spectacle

In American history

Of the nation’s President publicly and repeatedly berating

A Cabinet appointee?

The reference of course

Is to DJ, and Jeff from Alabama

Who DJ appointed AG and who he now treats

Like a rotten banana

What leadership school taught DJ

That flailing a subordinate unceasingly

Was an accepted management technique

In spite of making everyone queasy?

But you have to hand it to Jeff

He’s keeping his eye on the ball

Just happily plodding along

Driving DJ up the wall

In fact, Jeff is something of a hero

For bearing the brunt of DJ’s incoherent rage

About stuff DJ doesn’t understand

Which pretty much covers the whole stage