FORD V. KAVANAUGH

Ford v. Kavanaugh

Kavanaugh v. Ford

More fun for the nation

In case we were getting bored

What the ancient Republicans

On the Judiciary Committee want

Is Dr. Ford and Judge Brett

Sitting side-by-side in their joint

Orin Hatch is ready

Twenty-seven years ago

He grilled Anita Hill

And again he’s raring to go

Nothing like having

A sexual assault victim

Relive the trauma

For the old guys’ gratification

And having Kavanaugh

Sitting right beside her

What yucks that might provide

An elderly interrogator

KAVANAUGH AND THOMAS

If Kavanaugh joins the Court

He can be best buddies

With Justice Clarence Thomas

And talk about their one-time honeys

And snicker about their female peers

Sotomayor, Ginsburg, Kagan

Wondering which of the three

Would make the best plaything

Also reminiscing about the good ol’ days

When grabbing booty was okay

And not something likely

To ruin your whole day

Yes, times have certainly changed

“Look at this, Babe” has become #MeToo

Leaving a fella perplexed

With hormones very much askew

It’s a new world, guys

You no longer are allowed

To fulfill your primordial needs

With just any stranger in the crowd

REPUBLICANS AND DEFICITS

Remember when Republicans

Were the party of fiscal responsibility

Telling the nation to control

Its monetary prolificacy

Then came the Bush-Cheney tax cuts

In two thousand one and three

Eliminating the balanced budgets

Inherited from the opposing party

Now there’s DJ

Addicted to bankruptcy and debt

What was good for a businessman

Would be even better for a President

He and his toady Republicans

Stampeded to cut taxes

Adding trillions to the deficit

Not carrying about consequences

On the other side of the aisle

Democrats are not without blame

Refusing to control spending

Imagining a world of no fiscal pain

BRETT KAVANAUGH

Way back in high school

A Catholic high school no less

Little Brett Kavanaugh

Might have jumped a lass

That is the accusation

Coming to the fore

His defense is definitely not

That he just wanted to score

No, he is denying

That the incident ever happened

It is just a figment

Of the lady’s imagination

Of course there is no way

To sort out such ancient events

It’s he said she said

And that’s the way it went

But looking at Mr. Kavanaugh

And his nerdy appearance

Might that not be

Something of a defense?

DJ ACTUALLY IS TREMENDOUS IN ONE AREA

Manafort is now playing ball

With Mueller and company

What does Paul know

About DJ and the Russkie?

It’s hard not to believe

Sometime before November

Mueller will drop a bomb

Or do the equivalent of surrender

So how many DJ associates

Have pleaded to a crime

Seems five or six at least

A few more and we have a dime

This is certainly an area

Where DJ could legitimately brag

More crooks in his entourage

Than any other President had

So let’s hear it, DJ

“More crooks than even Nixon had

Tremendous amount of law-breaking

I’m the baddest of the bad” 

SCREAMING BOSSES

DJ is like that boss you had

The one who was never at fault

Others were always responsible

For the inevitable screw-up

He or she would turn red

And scream many epithets

Eventually zeroing in on some poor smuck

Who would soon have to exit

Then someone else

Would become the target

Receiving the vitriol

From Boss Barbaric

Most have had bosses like that

Ones without a soul

Ones who demand

Absolute control

Sometimes justice prevails

And screamers have a bad ending

But far too often the jerks

Get rewarded by their similarly afflicted brethren

DUMB SOUTHERNER

Dumb Southerner is a term

DJ used disparagingly

But Cranky embraces the term

And many others gladly

Cracker, Hillbilly, Redneck

Goober, Peckerwood, Swamp Rat

White Trash, Haole, Sad Sack

Cranky owns them all

And is extremely proud of it

At least he’s not in the category of

Pouty-Mouth New York Prick

DJ AND HURRICANES

DJ says the recovery of Puerto Rico

From last year’s hurricane

Was an “unsung success”

Of his Administration

Could’a fooled Puerto Ricans

Some of whom are yet

Waiting for housing

And still pretty wet

DJ described the in-bound Florence

As “tremendously big”

And “tremendously wet”

Quite articulate, our President

An intellectually challenged President

Would be a bit easier to take

If he or she wasn’t so intent

On proving he or she was half-baked

Here’s the thing, DJ

You’re driving us up a wall

Could you just put a lid on it

And maybe go hit a golf ball

DEMOCRACY, FLAWED BUT THE BEST ALTERNATIVE

DJ is a Dude

With limited mental ability

How he became President

Shows a weakness in democracy

Sometimes the people

Make inappropriate choices

Sometimes they are swayed

By attractive sounding voices

And it certainly did not help

That the opposing party candidate

Had significant negatives

And the obtuseness of an inebriated bandit

The really disturbing thing is that

Many supporters of the pouty-mouth winner

Haven’t yet acknowledged their mistake

But have doubled down on the shyster

So democracy is not perfect

But at least everyone has a say

Sometimes you get a dud

But there is another day

PLAID SHIRT GUY

(For those who missed it, a young man was removed from a Trump rally over the weekend for subversive facial expressions. He was in the crowd behind Trump and visible to the TV cameras.)

Here’s the real problem

With the case of the Plaid Shirt Dude

The Secret Service was policing

A Presidential political rally interlude

Of course the Secret Service

Has to protect the President

But the President shouldn’t be conducting rallies

Like he was a candidate

Taxpayers should not be paying the bill

For DJ’s political props

If DJ wants such stuff

Let him hire private cops

DJ is becoming

The most expensive President in history

He and his multiple family members

Are breaking the Treasury

For example, Eric and Don Jr.

With Secret Service protection

Opened a golf club in far away Dubai

For the Trump organization

NIKE AND KAEPERNICK

Nike and Kaepernick

Quite a twosome

Some say Nike’s

Suffering will be gruesome

But who is most opposed

To Nike’s action?

Old white guys

Many in traction

Still, by unnecessarily

Taking sides

Nike might be in

For a bumpy ride

Many Americans are uncomfortable

With protests in forums

Much removed from

The underlying problems

Besides, Kaepernick

With his weird ‘do

Has a sympathy ranking

Not much higher than two

IS ANONYMOUS ACTUALLY DJ?

Did DJ write the Op-ed

Or more likely have it written

To tamper concerns

About his behavioral predilections?

DJ obviously enjoys

Being a loose cannon

But maybe was becoming worried

About the public’s perception

So rather than change his behavior

Give the people the impression

That the staff has some control

And can restrain any excessive aggression

What we have to accept

Is that DJ’s first priority

Is not the country’s well-being

But his own popularity

DJ plays little games

To maintain our undivided attention

Whatever keeps him in the spotlight

Is fair game in his estimation

DJ, DO YOU EVEN CARE?

What say you DJ

To the charge

That you’re way over your head

Piloting the national barge?

And don’t respond

With your usual hyperbole

That’s no better

Than lousy graffiti

The fear is

One of your tirades

Or a wild idea

And World War III

Will be here

Maybe our worries

Are overblown

And you really don’t expect

Your staff to implement

Every nutty thought

Your mouth drains from your brain

But even so

Most of us are quite weary

Of the narcistic drama

You generate so prolifically

SUP ANONYMOUS

Tried SUP the other day

(Standup Paddle Boarding)

If I were like DJ

My performance I would be extolling

But alas,

I have a flaw

Occasionally the truth

Escapes from my maw

Sometimes I was upright

But more often than not

More time in the water

Than on top

The greatest difficulty

Was going from knees to feet

Most such attempts

Ended in defeat

On another matter

I tell DJ without equivocation

Anonymous was not me

And that’s not a prevarication

ANONYMOUS

Anonymous says DJ

Is off the rails, unhinged

His staff is doing its best

To keep the country from a catastrophic binge

A real witch hunt is underway

In DJ’s big white house

To find the disloyal staffer

And can the stinking louse

Imagine not being loyal to DJ

For whom obsequious loyalty

Is of prime importance

Loyalty, that is, in one direction

To his worshipful royalty

So who is Anonymous?

Kelly, Mattis, Pompeo?

Or maybe it is Ivanka

Tired of being jello

Here is a prediction

Anonymous will be revealed

Long before DJ’s tax returns

Are no longer concealed

WOODWARD COMES A'CALLING

Bob Woodward

Is now on the scene

Giving DJ

A pain in his spleen

The SecDef said DJ

Was like a six-year old

Which is not a pleasant

Sight to behold

John Kelly called

DJ an idiot

To which we respond

With a concurring middle digit

DJ apparently

Can’t testify to Mueller

Because DJ is a perjury trap

Without any rudder

Woodward’s book

Kavanaugh’s hearing

Soon to be followed by

The midterm restructuring

OBSESSION WITH SESSIONS

Labor Day is almost done

DJ’s not real happy

Seeing workers having fun

He thinks is pretty crappy

He thinks fun is only

For the one percent

As for those workers

They should just pay the rent

He was going golfing today

But got seriously sidetracked

Had to twitter about Sessions

Who he’s about to sack

DJ says Sessions

Should show political consideration

Before charging Republicans

So close to an election

Interesting concept, DJ

Putting politics above justice

Isn’t that what they do

In countries that are fascist?

The American system of justice

Is apparently foreign to him

His concept of justice

Is whatever his latest whim

A rigged system

He often speaks of

But if he could do the rigging

Such a system he would love

A GREAT MAN

DJ is the man

With a great big hand

Maybe two

In his two years as President

He’s accomplished more

Than any previous resident

Of 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue

At least that’s what the shows say

The ones he watches, anyway

There are some naysayers

But they can be discounted

They are after all

Democrats discontented

The Republican base

Knows the truth

DJ is the man

And that needs no proof

A NATION'S LOSS

One was

The Queen of Soul

The other

An American Hero

The nation said farewell this week

With words moving and patriotic

In sharp contrast to

The current abundance of speech vitriolic

Perhaps the moment will linger

And speech be a tad more civil

Perhaps political egos

Will shrivel just a little

America is better

Than we have most recently been

Maybe the passing of John and Aretha

Will bring us closer again