JOE LAUGHS AT HIS AGE

 

At the White House Correspondents dinner
Joe joked about his age
Keep the humor coming, Joe
If you wanna remain on the stage
 
Age is most definitely a concern
To many a voter
Acknowledging that is advisable
Particularly in a humorous manner
 
Your likely opponent, the Orange Hoax
Is no spring chicken himself
The challenge for each of you
Is to avoid the onset of senility
Before the November 2024 to-do

RON THE GROUCH

 

Who is supporting DeSantis?
The Florida legislature
Which jumps to approve
Every DeSantis-backed measure
 
Anybody else?
Doesn’t appear to be many
Ron’s just not a likeable guy
His candidacy has skeptics aplenty

WOKENESS MEANDERING

 

Diversity, equity, inclusion
Versus living the golden rule
Is how a Gov Youngkin appointee seemed
To characterize the wokeness duel
 
Martin Brown’s remarks
Were in a presentation
To Virginia Military Institution faculty
During a mandatory training session
 
Brown very much dislikes
The term “equity”
Preferring instead
The term “opportunity”
 
Thus the wokeness debate
Meanders through the verbal thicket
Throwing one ill-defined generality
At another equally non-explicit

TUCK, WE MISS YA’

 

Has the Tuck found a new home?
Be a shame if his profile
Is permanently lowered
He’s a prime example
Of far-right insanity
And thus those in the middle
Would be deprived
Of his unintended comedy

DEBT LIMIT DANCE

 

By two votes the House passed
The Republican debt limit increase
Which tied raising the limit
To substantial spending decrease
 
House Republicans thus served a screamer
Into the Dem’s court
Can the Dems return the serve
With a defensible retort?
 
The goal now for each side
Is to make the other look the loser
Admitting to a compromise?
Not the desired political maneuver

GERIATRIC ZOO

 

Eighty year-old Joe
Is running for reelection
His Republican opponent will likely be
A seventy-six year-old bundle of corruption
 
Is that what American politics have come to?
Meanderings in a geriatric zoo?
 
Remember when Presidents were
Sometimes young and energetic
Kennedy, Clinton, Obama for example
They weren’t perfect but
Mental deterioration was not a gamble

SAYONARA TUCKER

 

We’re gonna miss you, Tuck
Your lack of charisma
Your distortion of facts
Your xenophobia
Your conspiracy theories
Your far-right propaganda
 
Was it the Dominion litigation revelations?
The criticism of Fox management?
The bad-mouthing of the Orange Hoax?
The toxic workplace?
The M&M jokes?
 
Sean, Maria, Laura
And other Fox commentators
Are wondering who might be next
On the down escalators

CHALLENGE FOR KEVIN

 

Can Kevin get the House in order
To pass the necessary legislation
Ensuring financial stability
And avoiding economic disruption?
 
Or is his party so chaotic
That Democrats will be required
To work with the few sane Republicans
In keeping the economy unimpaired?

AFFABLE HE’S NOT

 

The consensus is growing
Ron DeSantis is a jerk
De minibus political skills
The personality of
A disgruntled underpaid clerk
 
Even some Florida politicians
Are giving him the slip
Not wanting to go
Down with his ship
 
Labelling everything woke
Is being antiestablishment to an extreme
Declaring war on Mickey Mouse
Is quite an odd scheme

UNCERTAIN SUPREMES

 

The Supremes stayed the lower courts’
Overreaching abortion rights restrictions
Apparently to the irritation
Of Justices Thomas and Alito
Who prefer the nation remain
In a high state of frustration and aggravation

RAPID UNSCHEDULED DISASSEMBLY

 

Elon Musk’s SpaceX
Described Starship’s soon-after-launch explosion
As “rapid unscheduled disassembly”
Certainly a colorful description
 
Which also could be applied
To Elon’s dismantling of Twitter
The social media behemoth
That he is proceeding to neuter

FOX NOT OUT OF THE WOODS

 

A 2.7 billion dollar lawsuit by Smartmatic
Still hangs over the Fox empire
So maybe the nation
Might still have the opportunity
To see Rupert, Tucker, Sean, and company
Squirming on the stand
Trying to explain their apparent hostility
To the legal and moral foundations
Of democracy

FOX ADMITS GUILT

 

Darn
The nation won’t get to see
Tucker, Sean, and company
Squirming on the stand
Trying to explain their network’s dishonesty
 
But the payment of
A whopping amount of moolah
Is most definitely an admission of guilt
And not an exuberant victorious “Hallelujah”

KEVIN IS CONFUSED

 

House Speaker Kevin McCarthy
At a location that seems strange
Presented his debt limit non-plan
The location being the New York Stock Exchange
 
Kevin, you realize of course
That the Stock Exchange is not
Part of the national governing process
It’s just a place for money to squat

COOL DUDE WANNABE

 

I know a government secret
If I reveal it to you
Would I be a cool dude?
Is that what cool dudes do?
 
Cool dudes club membership
Is my goal
Cool dudes are the ones
Who are in control
 
It’s against the law you say?
Who gives a crap
Legality is just
An old fogy’s jockstrap

SUPREMES THOUGHT THEY WERE DONE

 

The Supremes will once again
Address the abortion conundrum
Hampered by the obvious hostility
And predominant religion
Of the majority
 
The majority probably thought
They could return the issue to the states
But for what probably won’t be the last time
It’s back on their plates

MTG DEFENDS ACCUSED DOC THIEF

Marjorie Taylor Greene
Rushed to the defense
Of the National Guard Airman
Accused of a classified documents offense
 
Marjorie said he was
“White, male, Christian, and antiwar”
And thus an enemy
Of the Joe Biden corps
 
So Majorie reveals
Where her allegiance lies
Not to her country
But to the extreme fringe
Of the MAGA political party

ANTI-ABORTION PRO-GUN

 

Anti-abortion pro-gun
Quite a mix for a political party
Thanks to the Supreme Court and the NRA
The GOP has
A wrong-side-of-the-issue monopoly
 
If you’re a bona fide conservative
Believing in small government
And fiscal restraint
The GOP no longer wants you
It wants an intrusive autocratic state

OUT OF HIS DEPTH

 

Congressman Jim Jordan
Is having trouble adjusting
From being a rowdy outsider
With little in the way of power
To Chairman of a Committee
With responsibilities aplenty
 
Maybe if he put on a coat
It would create some gravitas
And save him for appearing
As somewhat of an ignoramus

AI AS REPLACEMENT FOR GOP

 

Artificial intelligence
Is the latest frightening thing
Warnings are proliferating
About the evils it could bring
 
On the other hand
Look at the mess
Us humans have wrought
If AI could replace the GOP
The world might be less distraught

WHERE BE PUTIN?

 

What’s Vladimir doing these days?
Is he still in power?
In recent photos he’s looking
Pretty glum and sour
 
He’s most likely hoping his buddy
The Odious Orange Autocrat
Returns to the Presidency
Then maybe he can get his war
Back on track

SMOKED BY GOOFY

 

Goofy smacked Ron DeSantis down
That’s Goofy as in the Disney clown
If DeSantis gets smoked by Goofy
On a Florida wayside
How’s he gonna handle the competition
When it’s nationwide?

TOO MANY FOOTBALL CONCUSSIONS

 

Tuberville of Alabama
Former football coach and now a Senator
Is holding up military promotions
Because of his anti-abortion agenda
 
Tommy T has zero military experience
Or a defense policy background
What he knows is football
About military personnel or policy matters
He knows close to nothing at all
 
But he’s willing to disrupt
The nation’s military structure
For his anti-abortion agenda
From which there is apparently no departure

TENNESSEE RUMBLE

 

The Tennessee Republican House reacted
To a mass school shooting
Not by a gun banning
But by expelling
Two Black legislators
For protesting
 
One might conclude
A bit of an overreaction
But overreaction is certainly preferable
To seriously considering gun regulation

KEVIN McCARTHY DIPLOMAT?

 

House Speaker Kevin McCarthy
Is engaged in serious diplomacy
Meeting with the President of Taiwan
Isn’t this beyond his competency?
 
Let’s face the fact
Kevin's no intellectual whiz
He can’t even produce a budget
In delicate, sensitive foreign relations
He has no biz

HOAX’S BIG DAY

 

The Orange Hoax let us down
No courtroom drama
He scowled and sulked
And then scurried back to Florida
 
Where he tried to make up
For his earlier reticence
By rehashing grievances
On and on with little relevance
 
The prosecutor’s legal theory
Is a bit obtuse and murky
A misdemeanor records alteration
Becomes a felony when
In furtherance of a felonious intention
 
This may be accurate law
But in the political theater
It’s way over the head
Of MAGA’s lowest common denominator

CUFF ME, PLEASE

 

The authorities probably won’t cuff him
So the Orange Hoax should bring his own
The photo op is too compelling
To have the moment go wanting
 
It’s better than a rally
Which only Fox “News” would carry
The ratings for this event
Could be astronomically hairy
 
Don’t want to waste the opportunity
On nickel and dime stuff
Show the world he’s the man
An hombre rough and tough
 
So do not let us down, Hoax
Put on a show
Sock ‘em in the eye
Make the fur fly
Cause babies to cry

NO PUBLIC URINATION IN COLORADO?

 

Representative Lauren Boebert is against
Pee pee in public
Which is apparently the kind of thing
That happens in a banana republic
 
She went close to berserk
In a Congressional hearing
Accusing a DC official of
Condoning public urination
 
In her rural Colorado district
Where the deer and the antelope play
Is there no outdoor urination
Not even on a holiday?
 
Or in every nook and cranny
In the wide open spaces
is there a well-maintained porta potty
Maybe close to
A wayward cow patty?

BANANA REPUBLIC

 

According to Republican politicians
With the indictment of
The Giant Orange Bore
The nation has become
A banana republic for sure
 
But the nation earned
Banana republic status
In 2016 when the Electoral College chose
A morally corrupt Potus