HOW TO IMPEACH YOUR OWN SELF

The American people

Were reluctant to impeach

But the Loose Orange Cannon

Just might bring the action within reach

Instead of doing his job

And ignoring the impeachment activity

He’s flaying and storming around

Calling attention to his questionable sanity

By buddying up to

Various foreign sources

He’s displaying the discipline and intelligence

Of a team of very wild horses

His skin is so thin

That it’s almost transparent

And you can practically see

The absolute lack of judgement

ROUGH RIDE

The American political system

Is having a rough ride

The President is a joke

And the Dem contenders for the job

Mostly make you wanna hide

And then there’s the Fox talking heads

Spouting countless lies

And CNN’s town hall meetings

Giving you the hives

A major cause of the decline

Is the proliferation of social media

Which has given voice

To the lowest common denominator

The Internet was supposed

To advance civilization

It seems more and more

Like a retrograde operation

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LOOSE LIPS

The Odious Orange Outage is strategizing

On how to beat the rap

That resulted from not being able

To close his enormous trap

Loose lips sink ships

Is a World War II warning

On the consequences of not being careful

About what you were expounding

If the Odious Orange Outrage

Had been in charge back then

Our enemies would have known precisely

What we had planned for them

He accuses talkative subordinates

Of being treasonous spies

But no one spills more secrets

Than he does between his lies

😕        😕      😕      😕      😕

EASTERN EUROPE’S ATTRACTIONS

Rudy Giuliani

Formerly America’s Mayor

Now a national joke

A part of the comedic layer

What is the attraction

Of Eastern Europe

That has American oligarchs

Salivating in a group

They envy the corruption

The back-scratching deals

The ease of buying influence

The wobbly legal wheels

For New York politicians

And real estate developers

Easter Europe is paradise

A place to binge on uppers

FOLLOW THIS LEADER INTO BATTLE? HA!

Would you follow

The Odious Orange Outrage

Into battle with an enemy

He sought to engage?

First of all

That situation would never appear

The Orange One is not a leader from the front

He brings up the rear

But in any case

Could you really fight for

Such a dishonest, corrupt, alleged leader

Who should be out the door?

A leader earns respect

The Orange One has earned zilch

Except lots of ridicule

For his wall that is no better than a ditch

FILIBUSTERING FABRICATOR

The Filibustering Fabricator

Today displayed his greatest talent

Bloviating without pause

And being mostly incoherent

He utters buckets of words

Yet says so very little

How this guy became President

Is certainly a riddle

Maybe social media

Has changed the role of language

Truth and logic are no longer necessary

They’re just excess baggage

As long as you’ve got the mike

Just ramble on and on

Eventually the audience

Will give up and be gone

MAYBE IMPEACHMENT?

So the House wants to pursue impeachment

Fine and dandy

But the support of the Republican Senate establishment

Is highly unlikely

Do you really think

Moscow Mitch and his flunkies

Would turn on the Odious Orange Outrage

In his spate with the Democratic donkeys?

But maybe conviction is not the point

Exposing Republican hypocrisy

Might result in a Senate of the people

In place of the current monstrosity

WHAT CLIMATE CHANGE?

The Odious Orange Outrage and his ilk

Do not buy climate change

Their lives rarely leave

A climate-controlled range

Air conditioning, thermostats

An artificial bubble

How can there possibly be

Environment trouble

Category 5 hurricanes

Wild fires galore

Disappearing rain forests

That stuff is outside their door

So stop worrying

About the planet

It’s been here for eons

As dependable as granite

COULD THE ORANGE ONE GET A SECURITY CLEARANCE?

Not only is the Odious Orange Outrage

Not acting Presidential

If he needed a security clearance

He would not even receive a Confidential

Discretion and honesty

Are necessary attributes

For federal employees

In their clearance pursuits

The Odious Orange Outrage

Has the discretion

Of a talkative four-year old

And the honesty

Of a conniving criminal with no soul

Indeed, conniving criminal

With no soul

Is an apt description of

The Liberty University hero

WITCH HUNT FINDS WITCH

The Odious Orange Outrage

Thinks he’s a Mafia boss

Plotting, conspiring, corrupting

To avoid an election loss

Whatever it takes

In his corner of the world

Bribery, lying, cheating

He gives them all a whirl

Threatening and strong-arming

A sovereign foreign leader

To manufacture evidence

For his domestic agenda

That agenda being

Staying in the public’s eye

Always the main attraction

Never allowing the attention to dry

CONSPIRING WITH THE UKRAINE

The Odious Orange Outrage

Is conspiring with the Ukraine

To prevent Joe Biden

From interrupting the Orange One’s reign

Giuliani says

It’s no big deal

What are elections for

Other than to steal?

Dems are arguing

It’s all very illegal

But Republicans don’t care

Legality doesn’t wag their needle

BARK BUT NO BITE?

Iran attacks Saudi Arabia

Kim Jong Un continues testing missiles

Putin votes in our elections

But the Orange One just whistles

Could it be that

Despite his threats and tough talking

The Odious Orange Outrage

Is no bite only loud barking?

Instead of a massive Doberman

He’s more an annoying Chihuahua

Yapping at your heels

As you wander where you wanna

CAPITVE AUDIENCE

My Generals, My Hispanics

My African Americans

The Odious Orange Outrage

Thinks we all are on his stage

And in a way we certainly are

Because he’s constantly in our face

He’s taken over our lives

He controls most of our space

Entertainer in Chief

Is what he is striving to become

We are his captive audience

Here for him to have fun

No other President

Has spent as much time

On narcissistic rallies

Partly funded by the taxpayer’s dime

NO LONGER OUTTA BULLETS

The Odious Orange Outrage

Said that when he took over

The military was out of ammo

And was as weak as clover

But under his leadership

The situation is now okay

We now have enough bullets

To last all the long day

We are certainly fortunate

To have such a talented President

But should we give him four more years

As Chief White House Resident?

LOCKED AND LOADED

A bone-spurred draft dodger

Should avoid such terms

As locked and loaded

Such words should be earned

Much more appropriate

For the National Emergency

Would be a phrase such as

“By golly we’re ready”

When your hair is orange

And your profile blubbery

Talking like a tough guy

Brings snickers from the shrubbery

IRAN'S MIDDLE FINGER

Iran apparently just gave

The Odious Orange Outrage

A middle finger salute

So now we turn the page

If Bolton was still around

The missiles would be in the air

Fire and brimstone on the way

To lay the desert more bare

But the Odious Orange Outrage

Prefers a war of words

Threats and bluster are his weapons

Actual action for the birds

Maybe this time is different

Maybe he’ll bomb some land

If so let’s hope the action

Is part of a larger plan

He began the present crisis

When he abrogated a treaty

Without having strategy or plan

Anywhere near ready

He inherited a Middle East

That was a cauldron of hate

Will that be changed at all?

A long way off is that date

‘BAMA AND THE STABLE GENIUS

‘Bama get ready

Humberto wants to be a disaster

And is just waiting for orders

From the sharpie-wielding forecaster

Who is really irritated

That Dorian disobeyed his instruction

To wander around Alabama

Causing chaos and destruction

Incidentally, not to wander

Too far from the base

But an opposite of stable genius

Is volatile mental case

Sometimes telling the difference

Is not very easy

But other times the difference is so frightening

As to make you really queasy

THE COMING TRUMP BANKRUPTCY

The Odious Orange Outrage

Has a federal budget deficit

Over a trillion dollars

That’s quite an accomplishment

And as part

Of his re-election hope

He’s considering a tax increase

So his followers won’t mope

He’s already bankrupt

A number of companies

Now he wants to add the nation

To his many deadbeat trophies

BALTIMORE

The Odious Orange Outrage

Is in Baltimore tonight

Attending a Republican event

Where he may have a bite

Of local rodent

Which he discussed awhile back

When he congratulated the city

On its tasty rat

So he’s sure to be welcomed

With open arms

By the many citizens

Who appreciate his charms

ME

Me, Me, Me, Me

Not you, Me

Was the Orange One’s focus

On a day of remembrance

A day for all of us

Nice to hear of his prescience

Of his immediate understanding

Of how history was changed

By events so far reaching

After a preemptory pause

He resumed his review

Of his many fabulous accomplishments

That were not getting the praise due

NATIONAL SECURITY 101

Bolton, Flynn, Tillerson

McMaster, Mattis, Nielsen

Rogers, McFarland, Kelly

Coats, Gordon, Haley

The number of individuals

Who have departed this Administration

Suggest a boss who lacks

Judgement, discipline, and organization

In short, the Odious Orange Outrage

Is an inept manager

Creating excessive chaos

And international danger

TALIBAN AT CAMP DAVID?

The Taliban was coming to Camp David

On the Anniversary of 9/11

Now whose bright idea was that?

Oh, the Chosen One from heaven

Wiser heads prevailed

Although he claimed cancelling was his

Which is demonstrably false

As his head is incapable of analyses

Why didn’t he invite them

To a Trump hotel?

Maybe because those places

Are hospitality hell

FORECASTER IN CHIEF

“Approved by the White House”

Is the stamp now required

For all weather forecasts

Or NOAA will have your hide

And because the Odious Orange Outrage

Is never wrong

Weather will necessarily

Have to play along

So if you’re watching

A weather person on TV

Shivering under an umbrella

Streaming with water

Don’t be surprised

If they claim the day is dry

The sun pleasantly warm

And shining high in the sky

NOAA ATTEMPTS A RESCUE

NOAA tried to rescue

The National Emergency

But its effort just

Added to the controversy

Only the most dense

Worshiper of Trump

(Talking about you Hannity)

Thinks NOAA’s defense

Is on the up and up

Most rational people

See a bureaucratic sharpie

Doing no more

Than making things murky

Meanwhile Mike Pence

Is trying to meet his goal

Of shoveling taxpayer money

To every Trump property

Between the North and South Pole

U.S. MILITARY, NOT MEXICO, PAYING FOR WALL

At first Mexico

Was going to pay for the wall

But the Odious Orange Outrage has now

Given the U.S. military the ball

Money appropriated by Congress

For troops and their needs

Is being diverted to ensure

The Orange One succeeds

In building an unneeded barrier

That technologically is inferior

And unlike British Tories

In dealing with their own whacko leader

Republicans in the Senate

Lack the spine to utter

“Bozo, hold on a minute”

BREAKING NEWS: DORIAN HEADING FOR ‘BAMA

Hurricane Dorian

Has done a one-eighty

It is now heading west

Alabama get ready

When questioned about

Its change of direction

Dorian replied, “Anything to shut up

The orange-headed infestation”

“I can’t handle another minute

Of his ridiculous insistence

That I was certain to strike

Alabama without hesitance”

“So let’s give him what he wants

And get on with our lives

Anything to shut him up

Before I develop hives”