Wednesday, November 28, 2018

THE ORANGE ELF'S AMAZING GUT


The Bloviating Orange Elf’s gut
Is a thing of wonder
It can distinguish fact from fiction
Without making a blunder

Or so Orange Elf would have us believe. But things the Elf’s gut would likely have told him if he were around at the time lead to a different conclusion. Examples of possible historical pronouncements from the Elf’s gut:

) The world is flat.
) Take a bite of this apple, Eve. Nothing to worry about.
) The sun revolves around the earth.
) Dinosaurs are forever.
) There will be no Ice Age.
) In Fifth Century Rome: Barbarians? No big deal.
) In Medieval Europe: No plague, just a few cases of the flu.
) In 1850's Dixie: Slavery is here to stay.
) In August 1913: It will be a small short war.
) In September 1929: The market has no way to go but up.
) On December 6, 1941: Japan and the U.S. are best of friends.

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