Thursday, June 24, 2021

RUDY NEEDS A LAWYER


 Rudy got a legal spanking
No more practicing law
In New York State
Where he once was the law
 
My, how the powerful have fallen
Rudy into legal limbo
The Odious Orange Hoax into
The category of bozo

*********************** 

COMING SOON:
“The Presidents in Quirky Illustrated Verse”
 
Verse by David Holland
Illustrations by Phil McKenney
 
Here’s LBJ:
 
Lyndon Baines Johnson was a Texan
He was elected to the House in 1937
In 1948 became a U.S. Senator
And in 1953 became the Senate Democratic Leader
 
In the beginning of World War II
He was briefly on active duty in the Navy
He received a Silver Star
When his plane was shot at from afar
 
When John Kennedy was assassinated
In November 1963
LBJ was the VP
And thus assumed the Presidency
 
As President he had
Both great success and great failure
The great success included
The many components
Of the Great Society
Among them voting and civil rights, Medicare
Urban renewal, and the war on poverty
 
The great failure was
The Vietnam morass
Into which the nation slid
Like a dog on slick glass



Wednesday, June 23, 2021

SUPREMES ‘TUDE ON SCHOOL

 

In an eight-to-one decision
The Supreme Court held
Saying “F__K School” does not
Permit disciplinary hell
 
The lone party pooper was
Justice Clarence Thomas
His dislike of bad language
Is apparently quite enormous

Tuesday, June 22, 2021

ENGLISH MAJORS NEEDED

 

English majors needed
Undefinable stuff
Is taking language into
The wild, wild rough
 
Cancel culture, wokeness
Critical race theory
Such things are beyond
The average person’s reality
 
But the words are thrown around by
Bloviating communicators
Pretending there is meaning in
Vague nonsensical descriptors

Monday, June 21, 2021

REPUBLICAN ELECTION REFORM

 

The ideal Republican voter is
White, old, and alienated by the “elite”
Everyone else is
Just dead meat
 
The return of Jim Crow is really what
Mitch and his cronies desire
Bringing that about requires
Convincing the base the need is dire

Sunday, June 20, 2021

REPUBLICAN AUTHORITARIANS

 

Republicans are positioning themselves
To control elections at the local level
To eliminate any oversight
That includes Democratic Party personnel
 
Sounds like the democratic process
Is anathema to the GOP
It prefers authoritarian control
To relying on democracy

Saturday, June 19, 2021

JOLTIN’ JOE MANCHIN

 

Joltin' Joe Manchin
Is hot to trot
The Dems need his vote
So lotta power he’s got
 
West Virginia
(Which seceded from Virginia)
Certainly should be proud
Of its rambunctious disrupter

Friday, June 18, 2021

OBAMACARE WINS

 

The Supreme Court sent a message
Obamacare is the law of the land
So give it a rest Republicans
Find something else on which
To take an archaic stand
 
Does the medical system
Need some fixing?
You bet it does
The complexity and inefficiency
Is very vexing
 
But Republicans have displayed
No interest in system reorganization
Their main goal is
Political domination
Universal medical care does not
Arouse their attention

Thursday, June 17, 2021

MOST OUTLANDISH THEORY YET?

 

Fringe Republicans are pushing
A really whacky theory
That Jan 6 was
An FBI conspiracy
 
Tucker Carlson and company
Have hopped on the bandwagon
So here we go again
Riding the wild dragon
 
Intellectual evolution
Has apparently taken a detour
Social media has intruded
To open a basement door

Wednesday, June 16, 2021

JOE AND VLADIMIR

 

Joe and Vladimir
Got together
Unlike the Orange Hoax
Joe did not kowtow to Vladimir
As if Vladimir was his owner
 
But did Joe and Vladimir
Accomplish anything substantively?
Probably not directly
But maybe on the margins of reality
 
Which is a murky way of saying
No one really knows
Let’s wait and see where
The next ransomware goes

Tuesday, June 15, 2021

HARD TO BELIEVE

 

Twenty-one GOP Congresspersons
Exercising their discretion
Voted not to give medals
To Capitol Police Officers and others
Who bore the brunt
Of the Jan 6 insurrection
 
So how ‘bout them apples
You Grand Old Partiers?
No medals for those
Who protected you from rioters?

Monday, June 14, 2021

QANON ON THE MOVE


QAnon
Is getting itself worked up
Feeding on fantasy
Anxious to erupt
 
To show the nation
They’re not unhinged dingbats
Just ordinary citizens
Wanting to irradicate political rats
(Meaning Democrats)

Sunday, June 13, 2021

NO GUNS IN TOWN

 

We need Matt Dillon
Remember that dude?
Not the actor but the Gunsmoke TV character
He could be real rude
 
Marshal of Dodge City
Had a simple rule
Don’t bring your gun to town
Or you’re on the jailhouse stool
 
The freedom to carry
Many are now embracing
Indicates an attitude conducive to
Widespread gun misbehaving

CRITICAL RACE THEORY

 

So what is this
Critical race theory?
To the left
It’s an interpretation of history
To the right
It’s a distortion of history
To students
It’s a meaningless class between
Lunch and phys-ed misery

Friday, June 11, 2021

ABUSE OF POWER?

 

The Odious Orange Hoax
Apparently sicced DOJ
Onto members of Congress
To make them pay
Or maybe pray
 
Some might say
Abuse of power
But such was not a crime
Back in Trump Tower

Thursday, June 10, 2021

ANTI-VAXXERS ON THE ATTACK

 

Anti-vaxxers
Are coming to the fore
Regurgitating weird stuff
To keep the vaccine from the door
 
A nurse on TV
Claimed being magnetized
But a key wouldn’t stick to her neck
Maybe her polarity had been revised
 
It’s times like these
That we become aware
Of how completely looney
Many of our fellow citizens are

Wednesday, June 09, 2021

BIDEN AND PUTIN

 

Biden to meet Putin
Will Joe cave like his predecessor
Who ended up kowtowing
To the Russian dictator?
 
Joe is in a better position
Than was the Odious Orange Hoax
Who Putin had a video of
Entertaining young ladies with, er, jokes?

Tuesday, June 08, 2021

MISSING THE INSTIGATOR

 

The Senate has issued a report
On the Jan 6 insurrection
The report has many security details
But also a big omission
 
It lacks any discussion of
The Odious Orange Outrage
In other words it covers a crime
But ignores the chief instigator
Who dominated the stage
 
The instigator who told a mob
To give democracy the boot
The mob responded “Will do, Sir”
And gave him a salute

Monday, June 07, 2021

VALLEY OF COMPROMISE

 

Extremists to the right of us
Extremists to the left of us
Into the Valley of Compromise
Congress does not rush
 
It is much easier
To obstruct and pontificate
Than do the hard work
Necessary to legislate

Sunday, June 06, 2021

OLD MAN PANTS

 

On Saturday night
The Odious Orange Hoax
Was wearing some weird pants
That produced many social media jokes
 
Maybe he got them
From the MyPillow guy
Whose knowledge of odd fabric
Is undoubtedly high
 
In any case the Hoax’s pants
Seemed to be missing a zipper
Perhaps the Hoax doesn’t need one
Maybe he wears a diaper

Saturday, June 05, 2021

BAN SWISS ARMY KNIVES

 

A federal judge has said
An AR-15 is like
A Swiss Army knife
Yeah, that sounds right
 
Just like an AR-15
A Swiss Army knife
Is a weapon for mass murder
The corkscrew alone has brought
Death to an unknown number
 
And the can-opener?
Don’t get me started
That’s one lethal tool
Ask the love ones of
The thousands departed
 
The scissors may be tiny
But they can sever an artery quickly
And as for the tweezers
They rip out eyebrows nicely
 
So if you want to commit mayhem
Leave your AR-15 at home
Grab your Swiss Army knife
And hack off a bone

Friday, June 04, 2021

RANSOMWARE

 

Ransomware is apparently
The next big thing
Need to get in on the action
And have a fling
 
Give me big money
Or I’ll use my technological thunder
To make annoying calls
To your land-line number

Thursday, June 03, 2021

LOST CONSTITUTION PROVISION

 

A lost provision
Of the U.S. Constitution
Has recently been discovered
And it is no illusion
It was inadvertently omitted
From the first printed edition
 
Article II, Section 1
Has a final paragraph:
“If after a Presidential election
In which the incumbent President is defeated,
But he thinks he actually won
Then he shall be reinstated
If necessary at the point of a gun”
 
So that settles the matter
The Odious Orange Outrage
Is entitled to reinstatement
And return to the White House stage

REINSTATEMENT

 

Nowhere in the Constitution
Is Presidential reinstatement mentioned
But that’s not stopping
The Odious Orange Outrage
From predicting his resurrection
 
And his QAnon supporters
Have hopped on the bandwagon
Saying come this August
Biden will be gone

Tuesday, June 01, 2021

CONSPIRACY NATION?

 

Conspiracy theories
Are running wild
Whack jobs have
Hit the speed dial
 
QAnon
Is the new religion
Attracting adherents
Like criminals to a prison

Monday, May 31, 2021

GUN VIOLENCE

 

As California Governor Newsome asked
“What the hell is wrong with us?”
How did the nation become
The only one worldwide
With a gun infatuation
 
Background checks, licenses
Assault rifle bans
Americans need to get serious about
Keeping weapons of mass destruction
Out of the wrong hands

Sunday, May 30, 2021

MISTER

(For Memorial Day, a WWII-era poem)
 
So you’re tired working, Mister, and
     you think you’ll rest a bit
You’ve been working pretty steady
     and you’re tired and sick of it
You think the war is ending, so
     you’re slowing down the pace
But I want to tell you, Mister, that
     just ain’t the case
 
What would you think, Mister, if we
     quit because we’re tired to?
We’re flesh and blood and human
     and just the same as you
Did you ever dig a foxhole and
     climb down inside
And wish it went to China, so you’d
     have some place to hide—
While Motor Buzzards packed with guns
     were circling overhead
And filling the ground around you
     with hot exploding lead?
 
Did you ever dig out, Mister, from
     slime and mud and dirt
And feel yourself all over to see
     where you were hurt
And find you could not move
     though you were not hurt at all
And feel so darned relieved that
     you sat there and bawled?
 
Were you ever hungry, Mister, not
     that kind that gluts
But the groaning cutting hunger
     that bites inside your guts?
It’s a homesick hunger, Mister, that
     slips around inside
It’s got you in its clutches and
    there ain’t no place to hide
 
Were you ever dirty, Mister, not
     the wilty collar kind
But the oozy, slimy, mussy dirt
     and gritty kind that grinds?
Did you ever mind the heat, Mister
     not the kind that makes you sweat
But the kind that drives you crazy
     even after the sun has set
 
Were you ever weary, Mister, I
     mean dog tired, you know
Where your feet ain’t got no feeling
     and your legs don’t want to go?
But we keep on going, Mister, you
     bet your life we do
And let me tell you, Mister, we expect
     the same of you 

Saturday, May 29, 2021

TAKING A BREATHER


 

Congressional Republicans could use
The week-long Memorial Day Recess
To acquire some maturity
And maybe reject the Orange Pest
 
But that is unlikely
The Orange Pest seems in position
To dictate what the legislators think
About any situation

 

Friday, May 28, 2021

AMERICAN CARNAGE PRESIDENCY

 

The party of Lincoln
Eisenhower, Reagan
Has become the party of
The Odious Orange Outrage’s
American Carnage Infatuation
 
Believers in the carnage
Seemed determined to usher it in
Through subterfuge and violence
If that’s what it takes to win

Thursday, May 27, 2021

CAN’T HANDLE THE TRUTH

 

Can Republicans handle the truth?
Apparently not
They’re about to nix
A Jan 6 Bipartisan Commission
Thus putting a lid on the pot

Wednesday, May 26, 2021

FUTURE ELECTIONS?

 

Will our elections
Ever again be uncontroversial?
Or has the Orange Hoax permanently poisoned
This fundamental political ritual?
 
The really troubling thing is
How quickly and completely
A large number of citizens
Has bought into the Hoax’s duplicity

Tuesday, May 25, 2021

AFTER FIVE DAYS, FINALLY


The Republican hierarchy
Finally found its voice
Saying Marjorie Taylor Greene’s words
Were not a proper choice
 
It took the hierarchy
Five full days
To work up the courage
To risk the Orange Hoax’s rage
 
And the hierarchy
Only managed to act
On the day the nation was distracted
By the news a grand jury
was on the Hoax’s back 

Monday, May 24, 2021

MARJORIE STRIKES AGAIN

 

Marjorie Taylor Greene
Is back in the headlines
Comparing masks to the Holocaust
Exciting her mob’s minds
 
The Republican Party hierarchy
Naturally remains mute
Waiting for guidance
From the Holy Orange Newt

Sunday, May 23, 2021

CRYPTO CURRENCIES

 

Crypto currencies
Can make you rich
If you are a lucky
Son of a b****
 
But if your luck
Is pretty much so-so
Playing the crypto game
Might bring you low
 
The problem is
Private sector crypto currencies
Have no intrinsic worth
Their value resides with those
Who have been fantasy lovers from birth

Saturday, May 22, 2021

DEPTHS OF STUPIDITY


The Republican Party is searching
For the depths of stupidity
The pursuit of this goal
Has been conducted religiously

Friday, May 21, 2021

TALKIN' SMACK

 

Republicans are into
Talkin’ serious smack
Coming across as tough guys
With an intellectual lack
 
The Orange Hoax brought
The New York mob mentality
To governing a nation
And avoiding accountability

Thursday, May 20, 2021

RAISE THE VOTING AGE

 

Republicans oppose voting unless
You are of the Caucasian race
No others welcome
Just their mostly pale base
 
Being old helps also
Maybe the voting age
Should be raised a few decades
So youngsters couldn’t engage

Wednesday, May 19, 2021

JAN 6 IS A DISTRACTION

 

The majority of Republicans
Don’t want to discover
The details of Jan 6
They’re still trying to recover
 
From the shellacking
Of the November election
How could their hero
Have received such a massive rejection?
 
The election had to be a fraud
The Hoax’s rallies were extremely large
Those thousands in attendance
Certainly weren’t a mirage
 
Focusing on the sidebar
Of January 6
Can only distract from voting recounts
Until things are properly fixed

Tuesday, May 18, 2021

AMERICA’S FRENCH REVOLUTION?

 

Kevin says no need
For a Capitol Riot investigation
It was merely some white people
Having a celebration
 
Many Trumpians contend
The participants were just exuberantly
Showing their appreciation
For the Orange Hoax’s Presidency
 
Yeah, it was merely
Democracy in action
Like when the French rabble
Had their Revolution 

Monday, May 17, 2021

MASKING

 

Mask or no-mask?
That is the question
What is the answer?
Depends on your location
 
And the mood of your
Local political leaders
Are they having a bad day?
Then mask all critters

Sunday, May 16, 2021

CYBER NINJAS

 

Cyber Ninjas
Yeah, that’s who we need
Passing judgement on elections
A conspiracy-believing breed

Saturday, May 15, 2021

FILL'ER UP


 Okay, the tank is full
Where does gasbuddy say
The next fill-up point
Will be today?

Trying to stay within range
Of a full tank of gas
Is like launching
A Hail-Mary pass

Friday, May 14, 2021

JOB FOR MARJORIE

 

Marjorie Taylor Greene
Is quite a piece of work
She sees badgering Democrats
As an enjoyable job perk
 
The Republican Party should
Find something for her to do
Maybe harassing chimpanzees
At the National Zoo

Thursday, May 13, 2021

SOMETIME YOU MAKE A MISTAKE

 

Every now and then
America makes a mistake
One occurred in 2016
When it elected the Orange Snake
 
Much of the population
Now realizes its error
The Republican Party, however
Is quivering in terror
 
Afraid to rouse
The Snake’s ire
Accepting his lies
Hoping to avoid
His line of fire

Wednesday, May 12, 2021

REPUBLICAN PARTY FUTURE


The party that’s going to hell
Was once a national establishment
The home of intellectual conservatism
And now a national embarrassment
 
Can it recover?
Or is the best solution
To start a third party
And depart the devastation?

Tuesday, May 11, 2021

BIG TENT


Kevin McCarthy says
The Republican Party is
The big tent party
Well, you need a big tent
To house an enormous bloviating
Anti-democracy Orange Elephant

Monday, May 10, 2021

TRUMPIANS AND TECHNOLOGY

 

Most Trumpians are
Technological goobers
They don’t understand how things work
Just rely on social media rumors
 
Thus conspiracy theories
Are how they view the world
Everything’s against them
But they’re happy in their peril
 
Modern day voting?
Way beyond their comprehension
Thus if they lose an election
Fraud was obviously the causation

Sunday, May 09, 2021

GOOD WORK IF YOU CAN GET IT

 

The Orange Hoax has
The ideal situation
He has zero responsibilities
And a base giving unrestrained adulation
 
He found governing
To be a bore
But he loved coming through
The White House door
 
He thoroughly enjoys
Ranting and raving
Which he can do now
With no consequences intruding

Saturday, May 08, 2021

AMERICAN INDIVIDUALISM

 

American individualism
Has been rejected
By a Republican Party element
That feels disrespected
 
The members have found comfort
In embracing a huckster
Who attacks opponents
With outrageous bluster

Friday, May 07, 2021

AMERICA FIRST TOUR

 

Believe the Orange Hoax
Won the election?
Think traditional Republicans
Are bad for the nation?
 
Then join Matt and Marjorie
On their America First Tour
Help them manipulate
The lowest common denominator

Thursday, May 06, 2021

THE ONE-EIGHTY PARTY

 

What’s a one-eighty?
When you’re heading in one direction
Then abruptly turn in the opposite
With exacting precision
 
Like Kevin McCarthy
Condemning the Orange Hoax’s
Incitement of insurrection
And then heading to Mar-a-Lago
For a fawning conversation
 
Or Elise Stefanik
Going from moderate Republican
To a kowtowing hard-core
Boot-licking Trumpian

Wednesday, May 05, 2021

THE EMPEROR SPEAKS

 

The Orange Emperor indicated
“I want her gone”
His toadies responded
“Yes, Your Lordship, it will be done”
 
So much for
The home of the brave
Republicans have descended
Into a dark cave

Tuesday, May 04, 2021

RUBBERMAN

 

Kevin McCarthy
Is definitely a Rubberman
He has no solidness
Without help he cannot stand
 
He contorts and distorts
Slouches and slumps
Slides and glides
Oozes over the bumps
 
Sort of like
The Republican Party overall
No principles other than
Worshiping the Orange Hairball

Monday, May 03, 2021

TRUMPIANS


Americans pride themselves
On being free and independent
Trumpians pride themselves
On kowtowing to an Orange incompetent

Sunday, May 02, 2021

21st CENTURY’S FIRST TWO DECADES

 

The 21st Century’s
First two decades
Had human-caused disasters
In spades
 
9/11 was the start
Middle Eastern extremists
Worked themselves into a frenzy
And attacked
People of the West
 
Then Bush2
Invaded Iraq
An action he probably
Would like to have back
 
The final blow
To his Administration
Was the economic slump
Known as the Great Recession
 
This produced
The tea party phenomenon
Which accelerated the Republican Party’s
Decades long decline
 
Which in turn led to
The devastating presidency
Of The Orange Hoax
And his incompetent cadre
 
And at the end of the two decades
The covid pandemic came onboard
Exposing The Hoax
As a world-class fraud
 
So two decades down
Eight to go
Most of us won’t be around
For the whole show

Saturday, May 01, 2021

MR. REPUBLICAN GETS BOOED

 

New evidence that
The Republican Party has become third rate
Utah Republicans booed Mitt Romney
Once Mr. Republican incarnate