HANG TOUGH, GEORGE

 

George, don’t let‘em
Run you outta Congress
You’re the nation’s comic relief
Fight for your DC address
 
So you told a few fibs
That’s not an oddity
Politicians do it all the time
Particularly the Republican variety

INNER CORE

 

According to some scientists
The earth’s inner core’s spinning
Has stopped and may be reversing
But there is no need for worrying
 
Of course not
Just because the surface
Spins in one direction
And the hot molten inner core
Starts spinning in another
Is no reason for apprehension
 
But in case there may indeed be a reason
Two options present themselves
One is alcohol or drugs to get high
The other is bend over, grab your ankles
Pull your head between your legs
And kiss your butt goodbye

LACKADAISICAL

How did the Odious Orange Loser do
In his first 2024 campaign appearances?
The reviews have been mixed
But there weren’t many exuberances
 
Pretty lackadaisical
Seems a common refrain
Maybe the Loser is losing his touch
At motivating the MAGA train 

HE’S OFF AND RUNNING

 

He’s back on the campaign trail
He being the Large Orange Loser
The first stop Saturday
Was the Granite State New Hampshire
Followed in the evening by
The Palmetto State South Carolina
 
One state named after a rock
The other after a tree
They hosted the Loser
Who has the intellect of a small rock
And the crown foliage of a decaying tree
 
The Loser said he was
“Committed” and “angry”
He’s angry alright
And committed he should certainly be

RNC CHAIR

 

The My Pillow guy
Lost the RNC Chair election
(Might have been a fraud)
That’s a real shame
He would have been a main attraction
 
Will the party continue
It’s subservience to the Orange Loser?
Most likely yes
The MAGAs in the street
Like the way the Loser
Articulates their angst and distress

MEETING OF THE GREATS

 

Elon Musk and Kevin McCarthy
Got together Thursday
Wonder if “Congressman” Santos
Stopped by to watch them play
 
Fourth-ranking House Republican
Elise Stefanik
Might have been there to
Making sure the gathering
Didn’t turn into a day at the zoo
 
Maybe they were planning for George
To do his drag queen routine
On the House floor
Just the thing to calm
The deficit ceiling uproar

THANK YOU, ELISE

 

Elise Stefanik
The fourth ranking Republican in the House
Was a major backer
Of “Congressman” George Santos
 
The nation thanks you, Elise
For giving us such a man
One who challenges the Orange Loser
As leading liar in the land

CLASSIFIED VERSUS GABFEST

 

The latest classified doc culprit?
The Orange Loser’s VP Mike Pence
Guess he’ll be losing
His security clearance
 
Speaking of which
Cranky once possessed
A fairly high clearance
But the contents of
The few docs he accessed
He’d already seen or heard
In the public media gabfest

BRETT RIDES AGAIN

 

The star of this year’s Sundance Film Festival
Has thus far been Li’l Brett Kavanaugh
A film relives those youthful moments
When he grabbed breast with paw
 
Wonder if he’s made moves
On any of his female Justices
Sonia, Elena, Amy, Ketanji
Certainly quite a bevy
For a man who likes to party

THE NATION AWAITS

 

When will Congressman George
(If that’s actually his name)
Give his first speech from the floor?
Let’s hope he gets the chance
Before he’s shown the door
The ratings would be extraordinary
And have C-Span yelling for more

DEEP STATE TAKES ON FONTS

 

In a most troublesome move
The Department of State
In changing its internal communications font
From Times New Roman to Calibri
A step many regard
As treasonous banditry
 
Obviously the MAGA Republican House
Will have to investigate
Subpoenas and maybe a Special Counsel
Will be necessary to calibrate
This latest bit of treachery
By the deep state
While the deficit ceiling matter
Will just have to wait

KEEP ‘EM COMING, GEORGE

 

Keep ‘em coming, George
We know you have more lies
Tells us about the time
You captured Russkie spies
 
The Orange Loser must be mighty proud
Of his lying young prodigy
George for VP
Might be gaining velocity

DON’T BE JOE NO

 

Joe, the debt ceiling matter
Could end your second term aspirations
If you persist in saying
No to negotiations
 
Yeah, play a little hardball
But show a willingness to talk
Don’t allow Republicans
To paint you as the roadblock

HYPOCRITICAL?

 

When the Orange Loser was honcho
Republicans found budget deficits immaterial
Now that the Dems are in charge
Republicans think deficits are really, really evil
 
Some would say that’s hypocritical
But that’s selling Republicans short
They’re not hypocritical
Just evilly, sneakily smart

GOING FOR THE BIDEN FAMILY

 

Republican Congressman James Comer
Chairman of the House Oversight Committee
Is setting his sights
On the Biden family
Specifically Joe’s two brothers
And of course son Hunter
A person of some infamy
 
At least Joe hasn’t made
The White House a family organization
Unlike the Orange Loser
Who went Mafia with his Administration

DEBT CEILING

 

"Debt ceiling"
Get use to those two words
Over the next few months they’ll become
As annoying as cackling wild birds
 
Any chance that the debt ceiling matter
Won’t go down to the wire?
About as much chance as you’d have
Inflating with your breath a flat tire
 
One thing about the good ol’ days
Was that policy matters were mostly the province
Of professional politicians
But in today’s media saturated society
Every swinging Richard
Considers themselves entitled
To participate directly
In formulating policy

POLITICAL WARFARE

 

Congressional Dems and Republicans
Are preparing for battle
Meanwhile most of the American people
Are tired of political prattle
 
The problem with democracy?
People who make it their life
Can get too invested in
The joys of the strife
 
And the majority caught in the middle
Have to spend time dodging
Those loving the scuffle

WHAT JUST WHOOSHED BY?

 

What just whooshed by?
Maybe it was a classified doc
Carrying away Joe’s chances
For keeping the White House
As 2024 approaches on the clock

SPECIAL COUNSELS

 

Are you an attorney
Worried about future income?
Then throw your hat
Into the Special Counsel jamboree
And your income problems
Will disappear permanently
 
The only negative thing might be
Retirement is not promising
There’s always another politician
Who needs investigating

CLASSIFIED DOCS

 

Classified docs can be confusing
To high-ranking politicians
Hillary, the Orange Loser, Joe
Each seemed flummoxed
By pieces of paper marked
With a version of “No”
 
Most lower ranking bureaucrats
Have no trouble with the concept
Of treating classified docs carefully
With caution and respect
 
But apparently at a certain level
Caution and respect disappear
Classified docs become little more
Than packing for storing your gear

KEVIN AND GEORGE

 

McCarthy and Santos
Standing together
McCarthy is treating Santos
Like a brother
 
Where did George
Get his money?
Kevin ignores the question
Like it’s funny
 
George is a Republican vote
And the Republican majority is tiny
The possibility of losing George’s vote
Has Kevin breathing erratically

FORGETTING VERSUS STEALING

 

Joe was caught red-handed
Forgetting he had classified docs
The Orange Loser was caught red-handed
Stealing classified docs
Then lying about it after hiding them
In the Mar-a-Lago boondocks
 
So who’s guilty of a crime?
Seems pretty obvious
It’s the pudgy orange swine

INVESTIGATE THE INVESTIGATORS

 

The focus of House Republicans
Appears to be
Investigating the investigators
Chase ‘em up a tree
 
For the last few years
They’ve made our lives miserable
Now it’s our turn
We’ll show them misery is transferable
 
Meanwhile, classified docs have been found
In a desk Joe had as VP
Republicans are drooling
“Gotcha” yells the MAGA posse

AN OPTIMISTIC HOPE

 

The mainstream media
In their never-ending search for gloom
Are predicting Kevin’s failure
And see nothing for him but doom
 
Maybe they’re correct
But one can hope
That Republicans learned in the recent election
Most Americans don’t want ineptitude
But a government to successful function

REPUBLICAN SHENANIGANS

 

Kevin’s off and running
Determined to show his party
That as Speaker he will put
Party before country
 
Never mind that he has a problem
Which is no agenda
Other than investigating the Dems
Until Jim Jordan gets them to surrender
 
Meanwhile Matt Gaetz
Is pondering his future
After showing the world
He’s pretty much a failure

KEYSTONE COPS EXTRAVAGANZA

 

Except for one lone Congressman
Republicans ignored the Jan 6 Anniversary
Maybe they were too busy
With their insurrection therapy
 
The House late Friday night
Put on a Keystone Cops extravaganza
First voting against Kevin
Then to adjourn
Then against adjourning
And finally on the fifteenth stanza
Giving Kevin his banana
 
What a way to celebrate
The Jan 6 disaster
With a Republican initiated
Chaotic endeavor

ELEVEN TIMES REJECTED

 

Eleven times Kevin
Has failed being elected Speaker
Maybe as a politician
He’s just a stinker
 
Meanwhile, Tea Party alumni
Are reaching an apogee
They have fellow Republicans by the short hairs
And down on one knee
 
Tea Partiers have long sought power
And now they have some
Their exuberance is palpable
As is other Republican’s glum
 
Finally, George still stands available
Awaiting destiny’s call
Give him a chance, Republicans
How much farther can you fall?

WE WANT GEORGE!

 

Republicans may be getting closer
As their party continues to unravel
Of recognizing George’s accomplishments
By awarding him the Speaker’s gavel
 
So he told a few lies
Big effing deal
For Republicans lies have become
The essence of real

GEORGE STILL HAS A SHOT

 

George still has a shot
At being the House Speaker
He’s preferable to Kevin or Jim Jordan
And only a tad bit creepier
 
The inability of House Republicans
To select the House Speaker
Is evidence of the legacy
Bequeathed by the Orange Loser

GEORGE FOR SPEAKER

 

If Kevin McCarthy
Cannot get the necessary majority
To exercise the House Speaker’s authority
Maybe George Santos the prodigy
possesses the necessary familiarity
With Republican morality
To overcome his perceived aberrancy

NEW YEAR’S RESOLUTION

 

Lotta newbies out on Sunday
Get-in-Shape New Year’s resolution
Most won’t last much more than a week
Before returning to the sedentary nation