MAN AND PARTY WITH A PROBLEM

 

Will Kevin be
The next House Speaker
Or has he tied himself
Into so many verbal and ethical knots
That he’d have great difficulty
Being an effective leader?
 
He may get the title
But he’s so compromised
That he’d spend most of his time
Being widely despised
 
Speaking of compromised
How about that Republican Party?
It might need a decade
To eradicate the stench
That is the Orange Hoax’s legacy

OATH KEEPERS JEEPERS CREEPERS

 

The jury found
The Oath Keepers mostly guilty
They were out to do harm
To the nation and democracy
 
Unfortunately, the real crime
Was not under consideration
That crime was being defenders
Of the Odious Orange Infestation

CRYPTO STUFF

A cryptocurrency event
Of some significance
Recently took place
The details are complicated
And the gigabytes needed for understanding
Are not is most folks’ mental space
 
Just be wary
If your broker excitedly presents
A can’t miss investment
Involving a blockchain, nonfungible tokens
And wealth beyond immense

WHICH ONE FOR VP?

 

Should Kanye be
The Loquacious Orange Loser’s VP?
Or should the LOL
Be Kanye’s VP?

KANYE FOR VP

 

The Loquacious Orange Loser
Might turn for a running mate
To the much-renowned Kanye West
Combining such intellects
Would certainly appeal to the electorate
 
At least those who desire chaos
Ineptness and buffoonery
Incompetence and self-idolatry
Comedy and bigotry

HERSCHEL’S NOT CONFUSED

 

Herschel Walker is conflating
Erection and election
He can’t decide
Whether he wants to be
A politician or a politician
(And that’s a purposeful repetition)

SOMETHING TO BE THANKFUL FOR

 

Be thankful that the Large Orange Loser
Is no longer the President
But just a disagreeable
Mar-a-Lago resident
 
Let’s keep it that way
Letting him back in the White House
Would only return the nation
To a state of gross chaos

GUNS EQUAL FREEDOM

 

The perpetrators of
Many mass shootings
Are individuals with mental health problems
Succumbing to their internal demons
 
But the problem is not just individuals
A nation with a fundamental political belief
In a guns-equal-freedom equation
Collectively has a serious
Mental health situation

LOSER CONTINUES LOSING

 

The Large Orange Loser
Is beginning to lose in court
His tax returns must be
Turned over to a Congressional committee
And in an appeals court proceeding
The Special Master necessity
Was questioned by the Justices
Quite derisively
 
The Loser’s last bulwark
Against legal justice
Might be the new Republican House
If it decides to step
Beyond its boundaries
And play the disruptive mouse

LOONS

 

What becomes of a political party
That is captured by
An autocratic buffoon
Whose intelligence is matched
By that of a loon?
 
Actually, loons are
Pretty savvy creatures
They know how to seduce
The lowest common denominator
Occupying the bleachers

CAN POLITICIANS TAKE A HINT?

 

Mainstream voters sent a message
That they’re tired of political polarization
McCarthy and company, however
Seem bent on political destruction
 
Take a deep breath, Kevin
The Large Orange Loser
Sent the nation on a dark journey
Your job should include
Restoring political civility

WITCH HUNT

 

The Large Orange Loser
Says he won’t partake
In the Special Counsel investigation
Is his absence supposed to make us quake?
 
If he’s convicted of a crime
And sentenced to time in the slammer
Will he also not partake
Of such an extraordinary honor?

GMAIL, SHAPE UP

 

If House Republicans
Want to do something useful
Investigate the Gmail recovery process
Which is pitiful
 
A cumbersome menagerie
Of try this try that
And when you’re done
Your account is still down a crack
 
The account recovery process
Is a mind-numbing mess
It can’t verify I am me
So Aol, Verizon, or Comcast
I might soon be free

MAGAS GET GEARED UP

House Republicans are licking their chops
Time for investigations galore
Examine the Biden family
Until Joe’s out the door
 
There’s Hunter of course
But what about Jill?
Her college teaching post
Is probably just a cover
For something nefarious
Rep Jim Jordan will discover
 
Yeah, let’s not focus
On any national woes
Let’s turn the hounds loose
To gnaw on political toes

LOL FOR PRESIDENT!

 

Dems best hope for the Presidency
In 2024
Is if the Large Orange Loser
Wins the GOP internal war
 
The Loser’s MAGA base worships him
But a majority of the nation
Finds him pretty much intolerable
And a first-class abomination
 
So absent a successful insurrection
The Loser’s White House return
Is an unlikely event
But is always of concern

HISTORY AS FANTASY

 

The Orange Loser began his reelection speech
With historical fantasies
There were many of them strung together
With numerous inaccuracies
 
He spoke to a segment
Of the population
That is gullible beyond
A sane person’s comprehension
 
The MAGA base
Will be with him whatever
But will any others
Buy into his blather?

NO MORE FRAUDULENT ELECTION?

 

Very few charges so far
That 2022 was a fraudulent election
Maybe the massive cheating in 2020
Was just an aberration
 
Or maybe it was a figment
Of the Orange Hoax’s imagination
Morphing into a key component

Of MAGA delusion

SOUL-SEARCHING NEEDED

 

Where do you go from here
MAGA-dominated GOP?
Maybe back to civics 101
Or maybe into therapy
 
Some soul-searching the Party
Definitely needs to do
Problem is that politicians
Operate in a soulless zoo

LARGE ORANGE LOSER

 

The LOL
That is, Large Orange Loser
Does he have
A political future?
 
If the Grand Old Party
Has any smarts
The answer would be “My Friend
Leave your money on the nightstand
And don’t come back again”
 
But in the recent past
Intelligence in the GOP
Has not been much in evidence
Indeed, it has been conspicuous
By its almost complete absence

IS THE BULLY DONE?

 

Can the Odious Orange Bully
Once a party leader
Bounce back from his exposure
As a world-class political loser?
 
And can the MAGA malady
Be brought under control
Or is it like covid
And just keeps taking its toll?
 
One of the Hoax’s tools
Is adolescent name-calling
At which he’s a natural
With verbal insults free-falling
 
DeSantis of Florida
And Youngkin of Virginia
Are currently two targets
Of his narcissistic anger
 
They also are possible opponents
In 2024
So the Hoax is trying to keep them
Down on the floor

MEMO TO GOP

 

The Orange Hoax is an anchor
Dragging the GOP down
Kiss him bye-bye
Or the party just might drown
 
If his MAGA followers
Can’t adjust to normalcy
Let him and them form a third party
Devoted to fantasy and conspiracy

THE RED RIPPLE

 

Out in the ocean
It was large and menacing
A monster Red Wave
Roaring and threatening
 
But as it approached the shore
It lost its energy
Shrinking in size
Until it was tiny
Like the Orange Hoax’s appendages
Up and down his body
 
When it made landfall
It was barely a ripple
Attracting no more attention
Than a Kevin McCarthy giggle

WAKE ME WHEN IT’S OVER

 

The media’s minute-by-minute coverage
Of the vote tally
Is most definitely
Not up my alley
 
Wake me when
The votes are mostly tabulated
And no longer being
Verbally fabricated

FINALLY

 

Red wave or Blue tide
What’s it gonna be?
And if the MAGAs are unhappy
Is that the swan song for democracy?

DAYLIGHT SAVINGS, NEXT INSURRECTION?

 

Spring forward, Fall back
What’s your politician’s stand
On daylight savings time?
Is he/she an earlier riser
And likes more morning sunshine?
Or is she/he a night owl
And sees early sunset as asinine?
 
About this issue the nation
Is experiencing increasing polarization
Maybe enough to provoke
Another insurrection

GRAND FINALE

 

The last weekend before
The election grand finale
Depending on your politics
The outcome may be
“We’re doomed” or “Yippee”

VOTERS, ECONOMISTS, POLITICIANS

 Most voters know squat
About how the economy works
If they think about it at all
They likely conclude
That economists are jerks
 
So they turn to the real experts
Meaning fast-talking politicians
Who claim to know such things
And are sure of their positions
 
Of course, it’s all an act
As is evidenced by the diversity
In the politicians’ opinions
And the extravagant absurdity
Of much of their oratory
 
Meanwhile the economy
Meanders along
Going this way and that
Challenging economists to figure out
What’s going on

POLL FIBBING

 

Fibbing in a poll
Is probably not illegal
(Let’s hope not, anyway)
But what about immoral or unethical?
And if so, would that be
Reprehensible, immaterial,
Or maybe even desirable?

OZ STRUGGLES WITH GEOGRAPHY

 

In a Fox TV interview
Doc Oz implied that Pennsylvania
Had an Atlantic Ocean coast
Perhaps geography isn’t a subject
About which he can boast
 
Or perhaps he was alluding to
A possible climate change consequence
Of New Jersey and Delaware
Being underwater and no longer in existence
 
Or perhaps he is confused
About the state in which he’s running
New Jersey where he lives
Or Pennsylvania where he’s campaigning

TIRED OF ELECTION ANALYSIS?

 

Down to the last week
Tired of election analysis?
Which will come first
November 8 or mental paralysis?
 
The media and talking heads
Are having a ball
Dems are up, GOP down
Now GOP up, Dems down
Or maybe it’s
The other way round
 
Both Dems and Republicans
Predict dire consequences
Including the end of civilization
If the other party advances