SUPREMES HAVE A LEAKER

 

The Supremes have a leaker
Who spilled the beans on Roe
Who is the miscreant?
The Supremes want to know
 
At least some of them do
But maybe it’s not a lowly clerk
Maybe it’s one of their own
Kavanaugh might have done it
While reminiscing with PJ and Squee
In an inebriated zone
 
Or possibly a spouse
Ginni Thomas comes to mind
She’s got her hands in everything
And doesn’t seem to be
The brightest blub on the vine

OLDSTERS CAN BE A PROBLEM

 

Nancy’s hubby is charged
With driving while drunk
And Nancy’s in
A bit of a funk
 
What should she do
About the old coot?
Maybe he needs
A leash through his snoot

MENTAL HEALTH

 

If mental health is the cause
Why isn’t the solution
To keep guns from the hands
Of those with a mental health condition?
 
Oh, that’s right
You don’t know they have
A mental health condition
Until they’ve significantly reduced
A town’s population
 
Get real, Republicans
Go to the crux of the dilemma
Weapons of war should not be
As available as a comma

DON’T TREAD ON ME

 

America was born in rebellion
And the gene is still around
A not insignificant number of citizens
Want to burn down the town
 
What are the peeves?
Where do they see tyranny?
Pretty much any place
The tiniest bit of authority
Is all they need
To identify a conspiracy
Rousing their ire
And bringing out a desire
To light a fire

WHOSE “UNITY”?

 

In his home state of Texas
At the NRA convention
“Now is the time for unity”
Was Ted Cruz’s proclamation
 
Wrong, Ted
Time for unity is done
What it’s time for
Is to stop worshiping the gun
 
What is now needed
Is serious gun regulation
We’re in real trouble unless
Yours is a minority position
 
But the evidence is that
The majority of Americans want
More effective gun regulation
So we don’t need unity
We need majority action
 
Unity is an NRA code word
For doing nothing
In the wake of a gun tragedy
Just some remorseful head-shaking

RAINY NIGHT IN GEORGIA

 

Rainy night in Georgia
For the Orange Hoax
Maybe the Peach State
Just got tired of his jokes
 
Or maybe they’d heard
The stolen election tale
So many times
That it had gotten stale

YE OL’ MUSKET

 

Republicans were fast into action
“Yes we need to curtail
These horrible massacres
Only not at the expense of
The Second Amendment rights
Of our voters”
 
But what is the Second Amendment?
An anachronistic formulation
Put together at a time
When “arms” were little more than
A one-shot muzzle-loading innovation

ANOTHER SHOOTING IN AMERICA

 

Another shooting in America
The Second Amendment may be grand
But how many more must die
Before serious gun regulation
Becomes the law of the land?

PRESIDENTIAL SOCK-STUFFER

 

Wanted, a Presidential Sock-Stuffer
For when Joe is rambling
And his comments start heading south
He can be given immediately
A sock for his mouth

GINNI THOMAS

 

Ginni Thomas was considerably involved
In the Orange Hoax’s attempt
At election interference
Incidentally she’s the spouse
Of Supreme Court Justice Clarence
 
Wonder what she and hubby
Have pillow talk about at night?
Maybe how the Supremes
Could set the election right?

VICTORY!

 

Putin captured a steel mill
Three months was all it took
Russia declared it a victory
The Bear should write a book
 
He could brag about his military genius
And praise his civilian-killing artillery
Emphasizing his favorite tactic
Of creating mass misery

PENNSYLVANIA ALL BETTER

 

Funny how things change
The Orange Hoax and his worshipers
Charged that Pennsylvania
Was a major theater of fraud
In the 2020 election bonanza
 
But in the 2022 Penn primaries
Despite a still too-close-to call contest
Between Doc Oz and hedge fund guy McCormick
Wild unsubstantiated charges of wrong-doing
Have now yet ruffled the nest
 
Maybe if Oz loses
The Hoax will erupt
But to date he’s largely muted
Keeping his tongue tucked

MONKEY POX

 

Monkey pox
Is on the way
But covid is still
Having a day
 
Covid is like the Orange Hoax
Both refuse to go away
Let’s hope neither
Is here to stay
 
Meanwhile, last night
Sleeping was a wreck
Kept waking up wondering
If Doc Oz was nibbling my neck

DOC OZ GETS CREEPY

 

In a TV ad Monday
Doc Oz threatened to crawl in my bed
Whatcha got in mind, Doc?
Hopefully just scratching my back
And rubbing my head
Anything more and I’d prefer
Even Nancy Pelosi instead

ELECTION MESS

Primary day in several states
Including Pennsylvania
Based on the contestants
You might think it’s Transylvania
 
As their gubernatorial candidate
Penn Republicans selected a Trumper
Not a quiet restrained Trumper
But a loud, brash, exaggerating
Stolen election believer
 
Their senatorial selection
Was going down to the wire
Between a hedge fund CEO
And a New Jersey immigrant on fire
 
Meanwhile in North Carolina
Madison Cawthorn the whirling dervish
Dug his hole much too deep
Making even Republicans squeamish

A FRENETIC NATION

 

Is the frenetic state of American
All the Orange Hoax’s fault
Or is he just riding the wave
Of a society becoming distraught?
 
Social media is usurping news media
Misinformation abounds
Long-time behavioral restraints
Are being eroded by populist clowns

CRYPTOCURRENCY BANDWAGON

 

Got your cryptocurrencies
Up to date?
You can make big money
But don’t procrastinate
 
The ship of riches
Is about to launch
You don’t want to be
Stuck at lunch
 
Don’t understand the stuff?
No one else does either
Just jump on board
Knowledge might come later

ANOTHER MASS SHOOTING

 

Another mass shooting in America
But not to worry
The Second Amendment ensures
Whackos can vent their fury
 
And the current Supreme Court
Will do its best
To see that reasonable gun regulation
Is suppressed

NOSTALGIA

 

In Putin’s world
There’s still a Russian Empire
Stretching from the Pacific
To the Baltic shore
 
And to restore this empire
To its former glory
He’s willing to mangle,
Maim, kill, and destroy
 
An attractive component
Of that former glory
Was messy democracy and human rights
Contributed little to the story

HOW NOT TO MAKE FRIENDS

 

Finland and Sweden
Are delivering the Bear a blow
He invaded Ukraine in part
To keep them from NATO
 
But now they’re getting closer
And might even join
Leaving the Bear fuming and threatening
With a pain in his groin
 
His level of frustration
Is likely reaching the level
Where his responses might resemble
Those of a Tasmanian devil

NO DEMOCRATIC HISTORY

 

Russia’s major problem is
Little history with democracy
For most of its modern existence
It has been ruled dictatorially
 
Pre-early 20th Century
Were the Czars
Then came Lenin and Stalin
Followed by similar successors
In the 1990s a feeble
Effort at democracy
Merely paved the way
For Putin’s kleptocratic autocracy

WHO COOKED THIS CAKE?

 

Putin invaded Ukraine
Expecting a cakewalk
But Ukraine stymied the Bear
Turning the cake to chalk
 
Leaving the Bear
Gagging and choking
Wondering what idiot
Did the cooking

PUTIN BLAMES THE WEST

 

Just defending his country
Was Putin’s justification
On Russia’s Victory Day
For his Ukrainian invasion
 
Putin was a bit muted
In his celebratory activities
Maybe he’s disappointed
And not up to festivities
 
His military has underperformed
It’s turned out not to be
The invincible behemoth
The world thought initially

PUTIN AND UKRAINE

 

Putin is really good
At kill, maim, destroy
Producing blood and gore
Is how he sees the story
 
Once upon a time
Russia was great
Only through slaughter
Can it return to that state
 
At least that’s how Putin
Sees the situation
For Russia’s return to greatness
Ukraine must suffer extinction

DOC OZ

 

Served in the Turkish military
Dual citizen of
The United States and Turkey
Voted in a Turkish election
Long-time resident of New Jersey
 
Doc Oz is now seeking to be
A United States Senator
From the state of Pennsylvania
And for the jump
To the national stage
He has the backing
Of the Odious Orange Outrage

RUSSIA VICTORY DAY

 

Russia Victory Day
On May nine
What does Putin
Have on his mind?
 
Just some wild fairy tales
About his Ukrainian chaos?
Or maybe a major escalation
In an attempt
To save the situation

TURN BACK THE CLOCK

 

The cultural right wants no more
“Forward for humanity”
Instead its desire is
“Back to 19th Century rigidity”

MITCH HAS HIS LEGACY

 

Mitch McConnell
Has achieved his desire
A Supreme Court dominated
By right-wing fire
 
Congrats, Mitch
Your legacy is complete
A Supreme Court bent on
Cultural retreat

ADIOS ROE V. WADE

 

A Roe v. Wade repeal
Could begin the tolling
Of the Republican bell
The impetus given lackadaisical Dems
Might be a GOP death knell
 
The Republican Party has
For years been moving to the fringe
A journey that accelerated
When the Orange Hoax was
On his narcissistic DC binge
 
In a post-Roe v. Wade world
The ensuing cultural fight
Might be the turning of the tide
Against the right wing blight

JD MANDEL

 

What genetic smorgasbord
Must someone possess
To be an ardent follower
Of an autocratic orange mess?
 
Speaking of an autocrat
The latest from the Orange YoYo
Is that he has endorsed JD Mandel
For Senator from Ohio
 
Only problem is
JD Vance and Josh Mandel
Are two different persons
So the Hoax must be in the grasp
Of old autocrat delusions

NO GAFFES

 

Joe got through
The White House Correspondents’ dinner
Without a gaffe
To the disappointment of
The Fox News staff
 
Speaking of Fox News
Sean Hannity’s involvement
In the 2020 elections game
Raises some doubt about
The accuracy of “News”
In the network’s name