NOT ENOUGH GOLF

The Odious Orange Potus

Is reported to play golf

Every five days

Under his orange coif

From one perspective

That’s not enough

To keep him busy

And prevent bad stuff

Let’s get him

On the course more

Maybe every darn day

And away from any government floor

It’s the end of

An abysmal year

So here’s a tip of the hat

Now go have a stale beer

DRUG DEAL

The New York Times presented

Some embarrassing facts

About the Ukrainian matter

That had fallen through the cracks

Specifically, the Orange One’s top advisors

Had argued against withholding aid

Advising, in hindsight correctly,

That it would be viewed as an illegal raid

John Bolton even called it a Drug Deal

Which was being kind

Mick Mulvaney sought innocence by

Avoiding discussions of the crime

So the worst is confirmed

A simpleton rogue is in charge

One who should not be allowed

To take the car out of the garage

PUTIN GETS A TIP

Putin thanked the Orange Potus

For a tip about terrorists

The Potus’ staff complained

You didn’t tell us

That you’re communicating

In the international arena

Without staff input

Just twitter and your finger

Meanwhile Moscow Mitch and Nancy

Are playing serious chicken

Regarding the impeachment fantasy

Will Nancy send over the articles?

Will Mitch loosen a little?

Will the whole matter be resolved

Or just end as an unsolved riddle?

IMPEACHMENT? NO BIG DEAL

Impeachment is

No big deal

So says

The Slippery Orange Eel

And anyway

It’s Nancy’s mistake

She’s so incompetent

She couldn’t bake a cake

I don’t even think about it

Doesn’t bother me a bit

I’m just happy to be President

I’m not gonna throw a fit

Oh, what the heck

I can’t stand this crap

I’ll get even with those Dems

They’re walking into my trap

FIFTEEN-FLUSH FAIRY TALE

Fourteen flushes

Had failed to get stuff down

Now his Tower was

One flush from oblivion

With hesitancy he grasped

The germ-covered little handle

If only he hadn’t eaten

By the light of a candle

He might have realized

The meal was too light

It produced waste

That floated with delight

Down went the handle

In trickled the water

Nothing much happened

Certainly no waste departure

So Trump Tower was gone

Lost to the EPA

Another deep state agency

Winning the day

FOURTEENTH FLUSH

Thirteen tries

And a floater still remained

He only had two more tries

To get it down the drain

He thought it was mocking him

“Is that your best shot, fella?

Maybe you’d do better

If your hair wasn’t so yellow”

“It’s orange not yellow”

The Orange Potus screamed

“And I’ve got you now

Directly in my beam”

Potus pushed the handle

Water reluctantly trickled down

The floater splashed and asked

“Is that all you got, Clown?”

And so the fourteenth

Was a complete failure

Potus only had one flush left

To be continued later. . .

😕   😕   😕   😕

THE THREE KINGS

We three kings

Of Orient are

Moscow Mitch, Rudy Giuliani

And William Barr

Our job is

To convince the nation

That the Odious Orange Outrage

Is the salvation

Which means we have

An impossible task

So give us some slack

And pass the flask

CHRISTMAS, POTUS, TOILETS

‘Twas the night before Christmas

And all through the house

Not a creature was stirring

Only the Odious Orange Mouse

Who was ranting and raving

On his twitter machine

About flushing his toilet

With water brownish green

He could never get

A full load down

Because the EPA wanted

To protect the ground

If only the windmills

Weren’t so not pretty

He could harness one

To blow away the dirty

Anyway, Merry Christmas to all

And to all a Good Night

Let’s hope next year

It's 'bye to the Orange Blight

WINDMILLS, WASHERS, TOILETS

The Outrageous Orange Potus

Has a strange fixation

Windmills, washers, toilets

They’re all scrambling for his attention

With wind and water

He’s getting at the roots

Twitter, facebook, and email

They’re just decorative boots

The Orange One wants us to focus

On what really counts

That be wind, water, and

The re-election campaign he mounts

As for that impeachment thing

Nancy should give it a flush

Fifteen taps on the handle

And down the toilet in a rush

FUN IN THE SUN

The Outrageous Orange Potus

Is in Mar-a-Lago

Hanging with his peeps

Having a conspiracy theories rodeo

Laughing about impeachment

What a joke that was

His Senate will take care

Of stomping out the buzz

Getting ready for election year

When he’ll show the nation

He wasn’t an accident

But a full-blown devastation

MERRICK GARLAND

Moscow Mitch is fuming

Nancy is being coy

She’s hidden the Articles of Impeachment

As if they were her toy

Mitch says “Gimme,

The rules say they’re mine”

Nancy merely says “Merrick Garland”

And pats Mitch on the behind

It’s too much to hope

That Nancy will say, “No way

I’ll just hold this over your head

‘Til the next election day”

“You and the Orange One

Can fret and stew all you want

But you’ll only get the Articles

When Merrick gets on the Court”

A CRACK IN THE BASE

A Christian publication

Has wandered from the reservation

And called for the removal of

The Orange Potus without hesitation

This is a burden

For much of the religious right

Who believe in piety and humility

But support the Trumpian blight

Also in the news is the source

Of the Orange One’s Ukrainian fixation

Putin whispered sweet nothings in his ear

And the Orange One got the implication

NANCY MAY NOT BE DONE YET

Mitch is getting mad

Those articles of impeachment he wants them

At the Senate pronto

Or else he’ll have a tantrum

That’s a scary image

Mitch’s jowls quivering

His triple chins vibrating

His froggy eyes rotating

And the Orange Potus Outrage

Has now jumped in

Demanding Nancy provide an “immediate trial”

Or he’ll do what? Kick her in the shin?

Yes, this constitutional kerfuffle

May not be done yet

The odds of an unexpected outcome

Might be worth a bet

THE CHOSEN ONE, BUT BY WHOM?

A Republican Congressman

Compared the impeachment of the Orange One

To the Crucifixion

So maybe Potus really is The Chosen One

If he is indeed The Chosen One

The Almighty has a warped sense of humor

Like if your doctor said,

“Great news, you’ve got a helluva tumor”

Or maybe the Almighty and Satan

Share power alternatively

And the 2016 election occurred

While Satan was on duty

ORANGE POTUS WRITES NANCY

Dear Nancy

Please don’t impeach me

I’m really a perfect guy

I’ll even bake you

A mincemeat pie

You have to realize

I like to goof around

The nasty things I say

I’m just being a clown

OK, so some people

Tend to take me seriously

But I’m just yanking their chain

I don’t mean it really

My Senate Republican flunkies

Won’t carry out the impeachment

They’ll only find me guilty

Of providing comedic entertainment

And then you and I

Can start our relationship anew

This time I’ll be better

Believe that and you’ve got a loose screw

“DOES IT OUT OF LOVE”

Giuliani “does it out of love”

Is how the Odious Orange Outrage

Described Rudy’s activities

On the Ukrainian stage

Maybe the real deal is

Rudy’s got an insurance policy

In the form of gotcha stuff

On the Orange Oddity

Senator Schumer is putting

Russia Mitch on the spot

By challenging him to call witnesses

The Potus would like to drop

Wouldn’t it be great

If witnesses such as Mulvaney, Giuliani, Barr

Had to appear under oath

Before the impeachment bar?

MISSION FOR DEMS

The Outrageous Orange Potus

Or OOP for short

Is beginning to like impeachment

It keeps him in the forefront

And there’s no chance

Unless more of his corruptions surface

That the Senate will remove him

From the Oval Office

So please Democrats for 2020

Concentrate on an electable candidate

Don’t saddle us with

An outlier without a mandate

To get rid of the Orange clown

We will need to vote him out

The more centrist his opponent

The more chance for a rout

MITCH, PUTIN, POTUS

Mitch told the Boss

“Don’t worry we won’t let him down

But we can’t save him

From being an orange clown”

The “Boss” being Putin

The de facto head of the Republican Party

“Him” being the Orange Potus

Who does fifteen flushes on the potty

Helping Putin out

Is Potus’ media team

That be the folks at Fox

Sean, Tucker, The Five, and Jeanine

OUR DEAR LEADER

The Orange Potus wants to be

A Dear Leader like Kim Jong-un

Deep down inside he envies

Leadership by the barrel of a gun

But to one group he already is

A bona fide Dear Leader

Republican sycophants who’ve sold their souls

To an untruthful wheeler-dealer

So what does it feel like

To throw in the towel

On ethics, morality, legality

Just to be his pal?

OK BOOMER

The Odious Orange Outrage

Is not Time’s Man of This Year

He lost to a teenage girl

So much for Holiday cheer

And when he attempted

To harass her via twitter

She gave him the equivalent

Of an “OK Boomer” finger

Yes, a Scandinavian teenager

Put The Orange Potus in his place

And showed him to be

A nasty old man disgrace

ATTACKING THE FBI

Republicans are following

The Orange One’s lead

Attacking the FBI

Riding an avenging steed

Revenge for irritating

His Lordship The Orange Mane

Accusing FBI leaders

Of treason and being insane

At a rally in Pennsylvania

Potus denigrated a security guard

For not roughing up a protester

He wanted the guard

To come down hard

The World is not fair

To the Orange Hair

Putin can treat his critics

To considerable pain

While all the Orange One can do

Is loudly complain

FLUSHING GAP

In Russia you flush once

And the stuff is gone

Heading for the Black Sea

Or the Artic zone

But in the nation of freedom

We can’t get free of the need

To flush multiple times

Requiring the arms of a centipede

Putin plops down

Then he’s done and gone

But the Orange Potus’ effort

Is very much prolong

The nation faces a flushing gap

That must be quickly addressed

Else with pants ‘round our ankles

Our greatness will be in distress

MORE ON FLUSHING

His bowels started to rumble

So Potus sat on the pot

Had to flush fifteen times

Before the stuff would drop

Blamed it on Obama

The last user of the throne

Said Obama conspired with Ukraine

To disable the commode with a drone

Lindsey, Ted, and other Republicans

Immediately snapped to attention

Blaming Obama and Ukraine

For the disastrous flushing situation

THE FIFTEENTH FLUSH

The Odious Orange Mane flushed once

But the brown stuff remained

He flushed twice

The brown stuff was still detained

The White House staff

Looked at each other in pain

The Official Lavatory Attendant said

“Here we go again”

Finally on the fifteenth flush

Apparently tired of the game

The brown stuff reluctantly

Went down the drain

FLUSHING PROTOCOL

The Odious Orange Outrage

Claims to flush the commode

Ten to fifteen times

Just to wash out a load

Sounds about right for him

Given the consistency of the poop

He throws at us each day

The stuff is as yucky as wet cement

And just wants to stay

Incidentally, as fastidious as he is

After his trousers drop

He likely has some odd ritual

As he waits for the brown nuggets to plop

NATIONAL SECURITY RISK

Hillary lost in ’16 in part

Because she was careless about security

Specifically her and her staff’s emails

Traveled the air waves freely

But not as freely as

An Orange One’s phone conversation

He might as well be shouting

The nation’s secrets to a convention

Putin the former KGB agent

Can’t believe his luck

The leader of his nation’s opponent

Is an undisciplined quacking duck