"I KNOW NOTHING"

Finally, the Odious Orange Outrage

Did not tell a lie

He said “I know nothing”

Just as Marine One was about to fly

Nothing

That about sums it up

The inside of his head

Is nothing but a lump

Knowing nothing is actually quite an accomplishment

Most people know at least something

You have to work really hard

To know absolutely nothing

So the Odious Orange Outrage

Has achieved complete ignorance

A task that took

Exceptional perseverance

JAMESTOWN

The Odious Orange Outrage

Took a trip to Jamestown

Asked where the Pilgrims were

Was told in another town

Up in Massachusetts

The Pilgrims landed there

Not in a Virginia swamp

With skeeters, possums, and the occasional bear

Also the Pilgrims

Didn’t traffic in human beings

Unlike Virginians for whom

Certain humans were just things

When asked to compare

The Pilgrims and Jamestown

The Odious Orange Outrage said

Virginia crackers had things down

INFESTATION

The Odious Orange Outrage

Is concerned about infestation

And he has no trouble finding it

Where Democrats are in habitation

You get the feeling

He has a real fear

Of the nasty things he envisions

Lesser mortals do with their gear

Infestation makes him queasy

Has him reaching for his wipes

Never know what you might confront

When you turn out the lights

Even when he was young

And grabbing all those crotches

He still was very careful

To avoid unclean crevices

Wipe stuff down

Before you offer candy

That way you avoid

The really big nasty

VITUPERATIVE RACISM

The Orange Outrage is doubling down

With vituperative racism

Or in more basic words

Going for the white nationalists

Throwing black citizens to the birds

Has there ever been a President

Who was more obviously a calculating politician

Than the Odious Orange Outrage

With the morality of an evil patrician

In fact, that’s what he is

A card-carrying evil patrician

Born into immense wealth

A need to win dominating every decision

MITCH McCONNELL, COMMIE?

Mitch and his cronies said no

To improving election security

Apparently welcoming Russian help

In safeguarding democracy

A Republican Senator from Kentucky

Doing the Kremlin a favor

My, how the pendulum has swung

Since the Orange Outrage took over

Mitch used to be an American

But now he and his toadies

Pledge allegiance to a different entity

As the National Emergency’s roadies

ORANGE OUTRAGE HAS GOOD WEEK

The National Emergency had a good week

The Mueller thing came up empty

And his Supreme Court pronounced

DOD money for the wall was just dandy

Never mind that soldiers might

Have to forego a pay raise

The Orange Ogre will make them feel better

With a convoluted twitter daze.

There was the little matter

Of the fake Presidential seal

But that was the fault of

Undisciplined right-wing zeal

TAKE AIM AT FOOT

Will the Dems

Take aim at foot

Pull the freakin’ trigger

And require a rehab boot?

That’s the analogy

Or maybe the metaphor

If it’s impeachment

They decide to go for

Have they checked the Senate?

That’s who’s needed to convict

And the Senate majority is Forever Trumpers

With skulls that are really thick

VICTORY LAP

The Orange Outrage declared victory

Saying Mueller’s testimony

Proved the whole thing was a hoax

That he did no criminality

Wasted the taxpayers’ money

Ruined innocent people’s lives

All the fault of Democrats

Who are satans in disguise

And you gotta feel for Mueller

Bombarded by questions confusing

Read by Congresspersons at speeds

Much greater than spaceships cruising

STRANGE BEDFELLOWS

The Orange Outrage and Democrats

Have something in common

Neither is bothered by debt

So spending is no problem

They have reportedly reached

A significant budget agreement

That would increase the national debt

Is that really an achievement?

With the National Emergency and Dems

Will Republicans go along?

Or will they finally find

A little anti-Trump backbone?

MIXED UP COUNTRY

The National Emergency said

“Right now Iran

Is a very mixed up country”

Well that’s really grand

But oh, Great Orange Bozo

Have you checked your own country

It’s also pretty mixed up

Mostly thanks to your incompetency

And what about that new threat

To obliterate Afghanistan in ten days?

Wouldn’t you need Congressional approval

Or is the Constitution now just blue haze?

WHERE IS RUDY?

One of the National Emergency’s court jesters

Hasn’t been seen much lately

Is Guiliani in the dog house

Or just playing hooky?

Perhaps he didn’t use “Sir”

When speaking to Lord Trump

And for that he’s been punished

By consignment to the political dump

Rudy was a wonder

His convoluted defenses of the boss

Were highly entertaining

And certainly a great loss

BULLY OR BIGOT?

Is the National Emergency

More bigot than bully?

Or does his bullying

Define him for posterity?

It’s certainly a close call

Bullying is most definitely

His “leadership” style

But bigotry he seems to enjoy personally

Speaking of leadership

As a leader his score

Is way down under

The cellar door

STRUTTING YOUR STUFF

A fundamental belief in America is that

All men and women are created equal

It may be true at a spiritual level

But how about the material?

Some are born to poverty

Some are born to adequacy

And some are born to money

From a real estate developer daddy

In a just and fair world

Those with wealth

Would feel a little humility

And not strut their stuff

But in the real world

Obnoxiously strutting your stuff

Is apparently the major reason

To acquire and hoard wealth

"SEND HER BACK"

The National Emergency suggests

“Send her back”

Was not what he really meant

It was just an off-the-cuff crack

Lindsey Graham and cronies

Are trying to keep abreast

Of the Orange Possum’s bigotry

But it’s proving quite a test

How much do they agree?

What qualifications do they express?

Can they preserve their moral standing

By treating it all in jest?

Without the support of sycophants

History’s many evil-doers

Would not have been successful

In their destructive endeavors

DIVIDE AMERICA

Divide America

That’s the Orange Possum’s strategy

For winning in 2020

And maintaining his Royalty

A President like no other

A bully to deplore

Yet many Americans

Don’t want him to leave the floor

They like his message

Of hatred and bigotry

They like being the victims

Of imagined savagery

Live and let live

Is not their motto

It’s more like

I’m gonna cut off your toe

BORN IN THE USA?

Was the Orange Possum

Born in this country

Or is he an illegal immigrant

From someplace really funky?

With little respect for our traditions and laws

He certainly doesn’t act American

He acts like someone sent here

To create a societal hurricane 

To put an end to our existence

As a free and vibrant nation

To con us into accepting

An autocratic, incompetent Administration 

Let’s see his birth certificate

It’s most likely a forgery

Created in some far-off land

To conceal his true story

BRINGING AMERICA TOGETHER, NOT

Bringing people together

Is not our President’s goal

He wants to drive us apart

The hell with the toll

His constituency is the rabble

Who think with their fists

Who have no doubt at all

About violence against those who resist

The Orange Possum speaks only to them

And not to peaceful citizens

Who view violent language as creating

dangerous national schisms

BACK TO WHERE THEY CAME FROM

The Pudgy Orange Possum

Is really prattling racism

Essentially claiming white males

Are the essence of civilization

He wants certain Congresspersons

To return from whence they came

Fix up their home countries

Take ownership of blame

Well, Orange Possum

Why don’t you return

To your dictatorial origins

For which you obviously yearn

ROUND 'EM UP

Raids allegedly beginning Sunday

Rounding up the illegals

At least some of them anyway

Enough for the National Emergency’s beagles

To claim self-laudatory credit

For being tough on immigration

For protecting the American dream

From a brown people invasion

Can’t round up too many, however

Else the Trump Hotels and Golf Courses

Will be without the people who work

And left with only bosses

IS ANYONE LEFT?

Does the LMA’s Administration

Have anyone still around?

Or have they all quit, been fired

Or found a hole in the ground?

Government by vacancies

And acting personnel

Is how the National Emergency

Is draining the swampy well

Business schools will focus

In the decades ahead

On how a President tried to make

The Government real dead

LOOK OUT! THE ORANGE ONE BACKED DOWN!

The National Emergency backed down

No citizenship census question

He doesn’t like to lose

In such a public fashion

So he’ll likely attack elsewhere

Anything to erase the stain

Of a humiliating retreat

From such obvious pain

So hold onto your hats

The ship is about to sail

To another crisis

From which we will have to bail

WITH A FRIEND LIKE THIS . . .

“I never even knew the guy”

Is the LMA’s standard statement

When the time comes to throw some poor sap

Out of the White House basement

The LMA never had a friend

He did not like

Until the time came to say

“Take a hike”

And then the past is erased

Damage control ensues

Names are scrubbed from invitations

Photos labeled false news

AMY vs MITCH

Mitch McConnell has mastered

The arcane rules of Senate activity

To the extent that’s he’s ensured

Considerable Senate non-activity

About the only thing his Senate does

Is approve right wing elites

For Judicial and Administrative positions

Responding to his President’s tweets

A challenger has appeared on the scene

A combat veteran extraordinaire

A female graduate of the Naval Academy

Who’s undertaken a patriotic dare

Can she win in Kentucky?

That’s a brutal question

But Amy McGrath just might

Give Mitch a job termination

DEMS TAKE AIM AT FOOT, PULL TRIGGER

If Dems insist on rehashing events

From forty years ago

They increase the risk of four more years

With their Orange foe

All the free stuff they’re promising

Health, college, forgiveness for everything

Get real, Squabbling People

If you desire the election to win

Meanwhile the Orange LMA

Is trying to protect his financial history

They’re coming at him from many directions

Hoping to expose his duplicity

The British Ambassador

Called him inept

Blimey, Mate, you just noticed?

You must have overslept

NEW MONIKER ADDED TO INVENTORY

Time for an additional moniker

For the National Emergency

An important decision

Requiring careful study

And we have a winner

LMA joins the rest

“LM” stands for Loud Mouth

“A” you can probably guess

So welcome LMA

You capture our feelings

How long is your run

Will depend on electoral dealings

MILITARY OPS CADET BONE SPURS DIDN’T MENTION

The First Colonial Airborne Brigade

Parachuted into Yorktown

Overcoming heavy machinegun fire

From the Brits on the ground

Air Assault troops

From the Third Rhode Island Infantry

Rappelled from choppers onto Hessians

Bickering about their home leave policy

The MREs of 1812

Were particularly unpalatable

Freeze-dry rat was not appreciated

By Andrew Jackson’s rabble

Speaking of Andrew Jackson

He would likely be proud

Of the governmental chaos created

By the National Emergency and his crowd

THE COLONIAL AIR FORCE

History is a great thing

Particularly when facts don’t matter

You can say ridiculous stuff

As you chatter, chatter, chatter

The Colonials were bogged down

Just outside of Yorktown

And then the Colonial Air Force

Arrived on the scene

Dropping fiery napalm

Making the British scream

Napalm also saved the day

For the North at Shiloh

A few sorties over Johnny Reb

And he said Goodbye-o

Johnny Reb had

An Air Force also

Only the pilots were usually

Too inebriated to go

CADET BONE SPURS HAS HIS FOURTH

He did not mention

The greatest soldier of all

That would be Cadet Bone Spurs

Who did not drop the ball

Except when the time came

To show up for a war

He chose instead

To stay home in bed

But he deserves a Purple Heart

For standing in the rain

Having his hair matted down

His bone spurs in pain

HEY GENERALISSIMO, TAKE A BREAK

Immigrants, tanks

Census questions, pranks

Life under a Generalissimo

Is certainly fun

Like living under

Attila the Hun

Being a captive audience

Is not something that

Many citizens enjoy

When the lead actor is a quack

So we roll into

A major national holiday

Astride a tank

And tanks ain’t for play

THE ORANGE GENERALISSIMO

As the National Emergency morphs

Into the Orange Generalissimo

He is set on

A military show

Which he said would feature

Abrams and Sherman tanks

The Shermans not having been around

Since Americans were called “Yanks”

Doesn’t create much confidence

That the Commander in Chief

Is ignorant about what weapons

The nation has in its sheath

Hey Generalissimo

I understand

Many flintlock muskets

Are still on hand

TANKS IN THE STREETS

The Orange Emperor announced

Tanks are in his July Fourth event

Is he planning a celebration

Or a takeover of the government?

The American Mussolini

Spent his time in the Far East

With dictators and autocrats

Threatening world peace

He showed no respect

For democratic leaders

Preferring sucking up to

Strong-men wheeler-dealers