"NO ONE KNEW THAT HEALTHCARE COULD BE SO COMPLICATED"

Duh. Another example of the Trumpster's fantasy (fake) world. 

Just about any thinking individual who has had contact with the medical system knows that healthcare in these United States is one helluva complicated mess. Multiple bills, itemized to the last needle, many showing different amounts for what you owe versus the medical profession's opinion as to what you should owe, are all the evidence that most would need to realize the complexity of healthcare.

Add to that multiple providers and insurers, a less than ideal mix of public and private systems, greedy pharmaceutical companies, and you have complexity to the nth power.

Of course, the Trumpster, being a member of the one percent with numerous lawyers, accountants, and personal physicians standing between him and the realities faced by the 99 percent, can perhaps be forgiven for having thought that a snap of his small fingers would make everything right.  

5 WEEKS DOWN, 203 TO GO

President It's-All-About-Me started his fifth week with a campaign event for reelection in 2020. Talk about hubris. One of his talking points during the week was that the media was the enemy of the people. If you're uncertain what that type of language can lead to, Comrade, check out the rise of a fella named Stalin back in the first half of the last century.

Getting geared up for the next election did seem to calm the antsy Trumpster for a few days. He even made what is likely to be a very good selection: Lt. Gen. H.R. McMaster as National Security Adviser.

But then the proverbial excrement hit the proverbial fan. The Trumpster and his intellectually challenged inner circle became incensed about more revelations regarding their disturbingly close and private connections with the Ruskies. The revelations were the problem! Jail the leakers! Where is Ronald Reagan when we need him?

Before you get too carried away, Orange Head, weren't you at one time very much in favor of revealing government secrets, particularly ones in which you could find some benefit to the one person that really matters in your life, your own self?

Anyway, bottom line: it was another week of President It's-All-About-Me making life miserable for us ordinary citizens.

4 WEEKS DOWN, 204 TO GO

The highlight of week four of Donald J. Trump's Fake Presidency (thank you, Mika Brzezinski) was, of course, the press conference from the eighth dimension. After three weeks of semi-chaos topped by the departure of National Security Adviser Michael Flynn, the Trumpster decided to go on the attack.

And it must be said that he did what he does best: talk mostly nonsense but with such force and utter disregard for accuracy and truth that he emerged, in his own mind and in the view of most of his supporters, as the winning party. His strongest attribute may be that he is impervious to the "gotcha." He doesn't blink or pause, just keeps on expounding the nonsense.

An example involved his statement that he had achieved the biggest Electoral College victory since Reagan. A reporter pointed out to him the fact (not a fake fact but a real one) that Clinton, Obama, and Bush 41 all had greater majorities in the Electoral College. He dismissed the first two with "Well, I'm talking about Republicans" and the last with "I was given that information, I was just given it." And with hardly a pause, he was on to something else.

In short, he expounds his own fake reality, nothing is ever his fault, and he has an unequaled ability to steamroll "gotchas." 204 weeks to go.

MAR-A-LAGO WAITER PREVENTS NUCLEAR ARMAGEDDON

Unconfirmed reports suggest that a Mar-a-Lago waiter, an illegal immigrant, prevented Nuclear Armageddon Saturday evening.

President Trump was dining with Japanese Prime Minister Sinzo Abe in a Mar-a-Lago dining room. Many other members of the private club were also enjoying the benefits of their status as one percenters. During an early course of the meal, word was brought to the two national leaders that North Korea had just successfully tested a ballistic missile.

Pandemonium set in. President Trump got on his cell phone, which may or may not have been secure. Aides skittered about. Cell phone flashlights illuminated official-looking documents. Orders were apparently given, and the Stephen Twins, Bannon and Miller, rushed from the room, screaming, "Outta the way, we're gonna launch!"

But a multi-lingual waiter spooning out salad dressings had overheard the conversations and realized the Twins had misinterpreted some of the give and take among the two leaders, their translators, and the several dozen American and Japanese staff members. Someone had suggested that a "lunch time" needed to be scheduled for the next day. The Twins heard "launch time" and immediately rushed to implement.

The waiter sprinted after them, just barely getting to a door before they did. His statement that the Twins had misheard what was being said was summarily rejected, but help shortly arrived. Without admitting they were wrong, the Twins reluctantly backed away from their mission to initiate Nuclear Armageddon, exclaiming angrily, "There'll be another time."

For his effort, the illegal alien waiter was taken into custody and promptly deported. His slot at Mar-a-Lago was quickly filled by a gentleman of Slavic origin.

3 WEEKS DOWN, 205 TO GO

The Trumpster had a successful third week, success being measured by the amount of attention he was able to garner with his verbal eruptions and erratic behavior. Few were the citizens of these United States, including his hopefully dwindling band of supporters, who did not at some point in the week wonder, "What's with this guy?"

Well, what's with this guy is obvious. What's with this guy is first and foremost himself. He is happiest when he is the center of attention, sort of like a six-year old, the world's only 275-pound six-year old.

Activities this past week included bad-mouthing the judiciary, continued complaining about imaginary voter fraud, chaos among his so-called staff, forays into international relations, and defenses of Ivanka's product line.

But perhaps most intriguing was the hand-shaking. It seems that the Trumpster is a real aficionado of the exuberant hand-shake. A 19-second shake with several pats and caresses thrown in left the Japanese Prime Minister rolling his eyes with wonder, and relief that it was over. An effort by the Trumpster to pull his Supreme Court nominee close had the latter employing a stiff arm to keep some distance between himself and the orange-hair groper.

The Trumpster might want to ease back a bit on his overly physical interactions. Some guys could take it the wrong way.

PRESIDENTIAL WORDS OF INSPIRATION

Franklin D. Roosevelt: “This generation of Americans has a rendezvous with destiny.”

John F. Kennedy: “Ask not what your country can do for you. Ask what you can do for your country.”

Ronald Reagan: “I believe that Americans in 1980 are every bit as committed to that vision of a shining ‘city on a hill,’ as were those long ago settlers.          ‘

George H.W. Bush: “Ours should be a nation characterized by conspicuous compassion, generosity that is overflowing and abundant.”

William Jefferson Clinton: “There is nothing wrong with America that cannot be cured by what is right with America.”

George W. Bush: “Like generations before us, we have a calling from beyond the stars to stand for freedom.”

Barack Obama: “There is not a liberal America and a conservative America ― there’s a United States of America.”

Donald Trump: “We got a lot of killers. What, you think our country is so innocent?”

NEW JOGGING HAT

2 WEEKS DOWN, 206 TO GO

The Trumpster has certainly kept us jumping in his first two weeks as President of these United States. So much so that things became very confusing very fast. For example, at one point some less astute observers thought he had declared war on Australia, one of our most reliable international friends.

Actually, what he had done was instruct the Pentagon to, in thirty days, come up with a plan to defeat Australia. Or maybe that was some other enemy, maybe Mexico, Arnold Schwarzenegger, Alex Baldwin, ISIS, CNN, the list of his adversaries is certainly not short.

And then there was the confusing occasion at a Black History Month affair when the Trumpster looked around the room to congratulate Fredrick Douglas on all he had accomplished. Unfortunately, Mr. Douglas was not in attendance, having passed away in 1895.

His not-quite travel ban on certain foreign nationals, and a few U.S. citizens, did go into effect rather seamlessly, at least for those not covered by it. The Stephen Twins, Bannon and Miller, deserve the lion's share of the credit for this far-sighted effort. Incidentally, Mr. Bannon has predicted war with China. That should be a blast. Expecting many good things from the Twins, especially with Mr. Bannon replacing the Chairman of the Joint Chiefs and other unnecessary toadies on the National Security Council.

So with just two weeks down, the Trumpster has grabbed the nation by its nether regions. Gives you sort of a tingle, doesn't it.

TRUMP TV: A DISAPPOINTMENT

The expected circus of announcing a Supreme Court nominee during prime time before a national TV audience did not materialize. The event lacked the histrionics we have come to expect from Donald John Trump. Hope he's not losing his touch so soon. There was no ranting and raving about unrelated matters, no ludicrous fabrications, just the introduction of a seemingly intelligent but far-right individual.

What was needed was some input from the Stephen twins, Bannon and Miller. Hope those boys haven't permanently ostracized themselves with the refugee ban fiasco.

TRUMP TV: WATCH OR ELSE

Doubt that your new President is first and foremost a performer? Well, when was the last time a President scheduled a prime time television appearance to announce a Supreme Court nominee? Such appearances are usually limited to occasions of national disaster, significant military operations, and the like.

An interesting thing will be how the TV networks respond. The mainly news ones--Fox and MSNBC--will most likely succumb to temptation, but how about CBS, ABC, and NBC? Will they interrupt their prime time schedules (8 pm, Tuesday, January 31, 2017) just because His Highness wants some air time?

Chances are very good that not only will a Supreme Court nominee be announced, but that much else will be discussed. Such as, Inauguration crowd size, voter fraud, the excellently orchestrated abrupt tightening of entrance by refugees and visa holders into these United States, the indisputable qualifications of a certain new addition to the National Security Council, and so on.

The only thing missing is an Executive Order requiring all Americans to watch or listen to the latest episode of Presidential Apprentice Tuesday evening. But such an order is likely just moments away.

DRAMA QUEEN PRESIDENT

Considerable commentary has focused on Donald Trump’s chaotic management style. Observers speculate and pontificate on how much of the behavior might be the product of a severely flawed individual, and how much might be surreptitiously purposeful. Is the President just plain nuts, or is he a managerial phenom with an extraordinary talent for achieving his goals?

Well, maybe the analysts are missing what is really at The Donald’s center. Maybe first and foremost he is a performer, a performer of the first magnitude who has attained the ultimate stage and is taking full advantage of the theatrical opportunity. That might explain why he has expended energy, and political capital, creating issues from such inconsequential matters as crowd sizes. Or why he insists against practically all evidence that millions of instances of voter fraud tainted the recent election. Or why he engages in twitter wars of such considerable magnitude.

For performers, avocation—what one loves to do—and profession—what one does for a living—often coincide, perhaps much more so than in other fields. In short, many performers truly love to perform. It satisfies inner needs. It confirms their existence. As for The Donald, he seems unable to resist any opportunity, no matter how inappropriate, to jump into his act. And if an opportunity is not available at the moment, he creates it. Saying he is merely a member of the drama queen club would not be doing him justice. He is the King Kong of drama queens.

But here’s the problem with a performer as President. We citizens become part of the show, whether we want to be or not. We are unable to leave the theater, unable to switch channels or turn off the TV, unable to avoid the spectacle. We are an integral component of the drama. The star does and says outlandish stuff, and our many and varied reactions are part of the entertainment.

We are the proverbial captive audience. And absent something extraordinary, the show has four years to run.

Perhaps commercials during the show could provide us with occasional respites. Wait, here comes one now: “The preceding episode about Donald and his Mexican Wall has been brought to you by Trump International Hotel. Make us your home when you visit the Nation’s Capital. And tune in tomorrow (yes, we’re on every day) when Donald determines that illegal Canadian immigrants are the source of the White House’s rodent infestation problem.”

Oh, well. Pass the popcorn.

AMERICAN CARNAGE

There he stood. Overweight. Orange Hair. Fleshy checks. Rambling and ranting. American Carnage personified.

He was the grumpy old uncle, come to Thanksgiving dinner. The country's going to hell. It needs to be beaten back into shape. It needs a really firm hand.

Only he's not leaving after dinner. He's staying four years.

EDICTS TO REPLACE PRESIDENTIAL ORDERS

Trumperian Spokesman Sean Spicer, one of a few Republican residents of Alexandria, Virginia, has said that the first order of business for the new President will be the repeal of many Presidential Orders issued by the departing President.

Other sources indicate that the new President will not be issuing Presidential Orders. Instead, he will be promulgating Edicts, as is the practice in the more authoritarian nations he is fond of.

A PRESIDENT FOR THE DIGITAL AGE

President-elect Donald J. Trump at an impromptu session with reporters on Wednesday, Dec. 28:

"I think that computers have complicated lives very greatly. The whole age of computer has made it where nobody knows exactly what is going on."

January 20th, we can hardly wait.

FAITHLESS ELECTORS

Where're those faithless electors when you need 'em? Now come mid-January we're almost certainly gonna have President Donald J. Trump. He got less votes from citizens than his opponent, he squeaked by in the Electoral College, and he just may be a stooge for Vladimir Putin of Russia.

His followers, and some of his staff, are false news fans. His analytical skills appear limited to the real estate, hotel, and casino businesses. His disdain for the middle and lower classes of society are evident from his many very wealthy potential appointees. And his understanding of complex subjects is limited to what will fit in a Tweet.

Prepare for a rocky ride, folks. The road ahead is not looking good.

TRUMP'S SOCIAL MEDIA THUGS

Remember when social media first burst on the scene? When it was seemingly innocent and built around the high-schoolish idea of "liking" someone or something?

Well, we've certainly come a long way. Yes, there's still some harmlessness involved with social media, but a nasty, sometimes violent, component has become more and more evident.

And in the tiny hands of some practitioners, social media has become downright dangerous. One of those practitioners is now President-elect of these United States. And he is a big fan of the social media tool titter.

In fact, tweeting was one of his main means of communicating during the recent campaign. His tweets involved little nuance; they were blatant, often non-factual, assaults on individuals and institutions.

He had been in the tweeting business for a number of years. Most recipients and others who saw his tweets apparently found them amusing. But now that he is to be the next President, some are finding his tweets to be calls to action. He criticizes a labor leader, and a few of his more troubled followers perceive an instruction to harass, or worse, that labor leader.

Thus the President-elect has stumbled upon a substitute for old-fashion strong-arming thugs. He has discovered social media thugs. And they don't even cost anything!

WHO BECOMES THE VOICE OF REASON?

For a good number of decades, the United States has been the world's major voice of reason. It has for the most part resisted the harsh and threatening, and often childish, language of a number of other nations, many of which were, and are, in the autocratic category.

But indications are that the next four years just might be different. The United States could be about to significantly curtail care, precision, and restraint in its verbal relations with the rest of the world. Replacing those attributes could well be bombast, insults, and so's-your-muthas.

Might another nation step forward to fill the void? Surprisingly, the People's Republic of China, a long-time practitioner of verbal overspeak, has in recent days displayed, in response to a bit of verbal stick-poking, uncharacteristic calmness.

THOSE CRAZY FLYNNS

Retired three-star General Michael Flynn has been named by President-elect Donald as his National Security Adviser. Michael Flynn Jr. has a .gov email address and is reportedly an adviser to his Dad. And what are the Flynns' qualifications?

One qualification seems to be an addiction to false news. Flynn Jr. has apparently been an enthusiastic booster of a cockamamie story about Hillary Clinton being involved in a sex-trafficking operation based in a pizza joint in the nation's capital. Called, Pizzagate, the conspiracy entered the world of real news this past Sunday when a North Carolina patriot showed up at the pizza joint with an AR-15 and fired off a round.

As for Flynn senior, he has not been reluctant to pass on questionable reports regarding Hillary and company. A November 2 tweet is an example: "U decide - NYPD Blows Whistle on New Hillary Emails: Money Laundering, Sex Crimes w Children, etc. . ."

But perhaps a yen for false news is what is needed in the President's National Security Adviser. You want someone who can think outside the box, and you can't get much further outside the box than false news.

THE FIRST TRUMP WAR?

On Sunday, December 4, 2016, President-elect Donald J. Trump issued the following tweet:

"Did China ask us if it was OK to devalue their currency (making it hard for our companies to compete), heavily tax our products going into their country (the U.S. doesn’t tax them) or to build a massive military complex in the middle of the South China Sea? I don’t think so!”

So, everybody got their bunkers stocked with food, water, and ammo? The Donald might get us into a shooting war even before he becomes President. At this rate, the Apocalypse don't seem very far off.

I mean, seriously, is this the "Presidential" he promised us? We're gonna be lucky to make it to January before Nuclear Armageddon. With those itchy fingers Bannon and Flynn egging him on, The Donald and his tweets are dangerously close to something really nasty.

Have all you folks fulfilled your life's bucket lists? The window of opportunity might be fast closing.

Hope this is not "Adios Amigos."  

DONALD AND CHINA

Donald, Donald, Donald. Not even four weeks into being President-elect and already you're driving us nuts. Tweets, pep rallies with all their nastiness, attacking the First Amendment. You've even managed to get Sarah Palin on your case.

And now China. Let me try to explain China. It is a monstrous country on the other side of the Pacific Office. The Pacific Ocean is on the west side of the United States. The Ocean on the east side is the Atlantic.

Anyway, the United States has long had a contentious relationship with China, which by the way has about a gazillion people, many more than the United States even if you count all our illegal immigrants. Someone at the U.S. Department of State, which is just a few blocks from your soon-to-be home, can probably give you some background.

One of the ticklish matters in Chinese-American relations is the island of Taiwan, which is an independent nation just off the coast of China and long supported by the U.S., at considerable annoyance to China. Taiwan is where the last remnants of non-Communist Chinese ended up in the late 1940s after Communists took over China. Incidentally, your BBF Putin was once a Communist. Now he's apparently just a plain old autocrat.

You following so far? Well, let's cut to the chase. China and Taiwan are most certainly not BBFs. And your little phone call with the Taiwan leader was akin to poking a big nasty grizzle bear with a stick. If you were the only one likely to suffer the consequences, I'd say poke away. But it's all the people who voted for you (and the many more who voted against you) who are also in the line of fire.

So how about expanding your advisory team beyond that alt-right bunch who seem to have a love of violence, both individually and nationally? I know you have been bad-mouthing Washington bureaucrats for the last year and a half. But they might be able to prevent you from inadvertently (I hope it is not advertently) reducing the planet to a smoldering ember.