DONALD AND CHINA

Donald, Donald, Donald. Not even four weeks into being President-elect and already you're driving us nuts. Tweets, pep rallies with all their nastiness, attacking the First Amendment. You've even managed to get Sarah Palin on your case.

And now China. Let me try to explain China. It is a monstrous country on the other side of the Pacific Office. The Pacific Ocean is on the west side of the United States. The Ocean on the east side is the Atlantic.

Anyway, the United States has long had a contentious relationship with China, which by the way has about a gazillion people, many more than the United States even if you count all our illegal immigrants. Someone at the U.S. Department of State, which is just a few blocks from your soon-to-be home, can probably give you some background.

One of the ticklish matters in Chinese-American relations is the island of Taiwan, which is an independent nation just off the coast of China and long supported by the U.S., at considerable annoyance to China. Taiwan is where the last remnants of non-Communist Chinese ended up in the late 1940s after Communists took over China. Incidentally, your BBF Putin was once a Communist. Now he's apparently just a plain old autocrat.

You following so far? Well, let's cut to the chase. China and Taiwan are most certainly not BBFs. And your little phone call with the Taiwan leader was akin to poking a big nasty grizzle bear with a stick. If you were the only one likely to suffer the consequences, I'd say poke away. But it's all the people who voted for you (and the many more who voted against you) who are also in the line of fire.

So how about expanding your advisory team beyond that alt-right bunch who seem to have a love of violence, both individually and nationally? I know you have been bad-mouthing Washington bureaucrats for the last year and a half. But they might be able to prevent you from inadvertently (I hope it is not advertently) reducing the planet to a smoldering ember.