“SPECIAL MILITARY OPERATION”

 

“Special military operation”
To Russians apparently means
Slaughtering Ukraine civilians
To achieve Putin’s dreams

THANKS GUV YOUNGKIN

 

For some taxpayers this year
Virginia is not offering
The free-file fillable form
Online option for tax filing
 
There is a free online option
But only if your income
Is below a certain threshold
Otherwise you turn to
A non-free commercial option or
Back to the tangible paper zoo
 
So thanks Guv Youngkin
For this technological retreat
Now you can return to
The anti-education beat

MARCO, DUH?

 

Hate to say it
But the Hoax might have been right
Little Marco is
Not very bright
 
On a zoom conference
With the U.S. Congress
Ukrainian President Zelensky
Made a request that
No pictures be taken
Showing where he was at
 
But Marco and at least one other
Could not hold out
They posted on social media
Saying in effect
Here’s the hideout

TAX TIME

 

Haven’t heard much
From the Orange Hoax
Not even his pathetic
Attempts at jokes
 
Maybe he’s worried
About his buddy Vladimir
And whether Val
Needs a bit of cheer
 
Meanwhile,
Taxes are coming due
But if Armageddon is at hand
Is it really necessary
To pay the tax man?

UNREALISTIC SOLUTION

 

Putin talked to Macron
Showed no sign of backing down
One thing that might stop him
Is an uprising in Moscow his town
 
Wouldn’t it be great
If the Russian people pursued the possibility?
But the chances of that
Seem not very likely
 
Meanwhile Russian forces
Have set a nuclear plant on fire
They don’t seem reluctant
To raise the stakes higher

MEAN GIRLS IN CONGRESS

 

Marjorie and Lauren thought
They were at a ball game
Heckling the other team
Being a real pain
 
Hey Girls, it was
The State of the Union
Not how much you can rag on
Poor ol’ Joe Biden
 
Flirting with the bros
Being “mean girl” to the gals
Just like high school
When it was just outsiders and pals

WHACKO FAR RIGHT

 

Some on America’s
Whacko far right
View Putin as a hero
Which makes those so described
An American zero
Talking about you
Wearing the FoxNews sombrero

HAPPY B’DAY!

 

March 1, the spouse’s b’day
For the next two months
We’re the same age
And then in May
I turn the page

UKRAINE’S EXAMPLE

 

What will be the outcome?
The future is certainly not clear
Many lives will likely be lost
But the example of Ukraine’s struggle
Against despotism and bullying
Will live on for many a year

HISTORY IS DEAD?

 

Remember back in the ‘90s
When history was declared dead?
Well, Vladimir’s invasion of Ukraine
Put that hypothesis to bed

THE SHARK BITES

 

Putin’s in deep do-do
The Federated States of Micronesia
Has taken the shark by the fins
And severed diplomatic ties with Russia

STALIN, MUSSOLINI, PUTIN, trump

The Orange Hoax regrets
He didn’t become a dictator
He didn’t get much past wannabe
Just to the level of prevaricator
 
He looks with great envy
At his buddy Putin
Who he calls a genius
For starting a war of aggression

YOUNGKIN ACOLYTES

 

Went to a medical lab
To get blood testing
Everyone was masked
And not complaining
 
Then in walked two unmasked
An elderly lady and a younger helper
They were asked to mask up by
The technician behind the counter
 
The younger lady screeched
“Youngkin says no masks”
The technician explained
Youngkin was only referring to schools
And not medical tasks
 
Reluctantly the ladies
Masked up a bit
But left uncovered their noses
Perhaps as a way of saying
“I’m a free American, cool it”

TIT FOR TAT

 

Putin sent his train
Into southeast Ukraine
Joe said not nice
You must pay a price
 
So that’s where we’re at
A dangerous tit for tat
Where will it lead?
Maybe a lotta people bleed

STANDOFFISH PUTIN

 

Ol’ Baldy Putin doesn’t like
To be near other people
Long table, chairs far-placed
Keep away the human drivel
 
Or maybe he’s got BO
Or a flatulence situation
And maintains a distance
To conceal the condition

AMERICAN PUBLIC PREPARES

 

Olympics are over
Time for Putin to prance
The world awaits
The coming Slavic dance
 
Meanwhile, in the United States
Mask or no mask
Is a vehement debate
Along with whether
Republicans or Democrats
Deserve the most hate

WAITING ON PUTIN

 

Will he or won’t he
Unleash his Slavic hoard?
The world is waiting
And is certainly not bored
 
The real unknown is
Assuming his invasion commences
What happens next
What are the consequences?
 
Will international stability
Slowly achieve restoration?
Or will it be the beginning
Of a spreading conflagration?

PUTIN

 

Why the Ukraine situation?
Because Putin feels aggrieved
Both for himself and Russia
And he can only be relieved
If Ukraine is retrieved
 
Do casualties matter?
To Putin apparently not
What matters to him is
Tying a Russia-Ukraine knot

SURE

 

When did “sure” become
A way to start a response, as in
“What do you think about [yada yada]?”
“Sure, well what I think is
[yada yada back at ya]”
 
Uses of many words
Can change over the years
Which usually leaves the older generation
Scratching their ears

GO CRYPTO

 

Cryptocurrencies
Seem really interesting
Apparently you can start your own
Just by proclaiming
That you’ve blocked a chain
And you’re open for investing
 
Then people send you dollars
And you send them tokens
Indicating that they
Have become crypto citizens
 
All your crypto needs
Is a cool name
Mine’s named “The Frip”
And I’m off to fortune and fame
So Frip you big Dude, let her rip

ANTI-GOVERNMENT REPUBLICANS

 

The Republican Party
Once defender of the status quo
And government authority
Has morphed into
The left-wing rebels
It once viewed abhorrently

SPOUSES SHARING CUBICLES

 

To deal with covid spreading
Some government agencies
With married couples on the payroll
Are placing couples together
In the same cubicle hole
 
This might curtail covid but
Maybe cause the divorce rate
To significantly accelerate
Like a race horse
Leaving the starting gate

SUPER BOWL COMMENT

 

Super Bowl, the epitome
Of the American experiment?
Well, let’s not get carried away
It’s just a big event
 
When TV introduces the players
Why stop with their colleges?
Why not give their degrees
And grade point averages?

NUANCE

What’s wrong with
Modern society?
Maybe loss of nuance
Is reinforcing polarity
 
In the media
Both social and news
Issues become A or B
Black or white
Wrong or right
The middle ground and
Rational discourse become
Lost in the twilight

FIFTEEN FLUSHES

 

Why does the Hoax’s commode
Require fifteen flushes
To dispose of a load?
 
Because he uses the porcelain receptacle
Not just for his
Undoubtedly enormous defecations
But as a general disposal system
For papers, food, and assorted tangible irritations

NO SOUP FOR YOU

 

Marjorie Taylor Greene
Seems to believe
Jerry Seinfeld’s Soup Nazi
Has been resurrected
Thanks to Nancy Pelosi
 
According to the Georgia Rep
Nancy has turned to
Her “Gazpacho” enforcers
For dictatorial control
Over innocent legislators

JOSEPH McCARTHY AND THE HOAX

 

A Washington Post columnist
Has drawn an interesting parallel
Senator Joe McCarthy
Of the 1950s Red Scare
And the Orange Hoax
Of today’s anti-democratic fair
 
Both being demagogues
Who captured the Republican base
Both relying on lies
To gain and hold their place
 
Much of the Republican base
Is a rebellious clan
But sometimes it slides into worshipping
A tough-talking orangutan

THE INFAMOUS SHARPIE

 

An historically important Sharpie
Was rescued from Mar-a-Lago
Where the Hoax had taken it
When from the White House he had to go
 
The Hoax had used the Sharpie
To alter a weather map
To support his inaccurate statement
About a storm track
 
The Smithsonian is where
The Sharpie should reside
On display as evidence
Of the Hoax’s wild ride

CRYPTO ORGY

 

Matt Damon was once
Jason Bourne
Now he’s peddling
Crypto porn
 

Meanwhile
Non-fungible tokens
Have become a craze
Leaving rational people
In a daze
 
This crypto thing
Is getting out of hand
Maybe it’s time
To join the band
 
If the loonies are right
And there’s free money out there
Don’t wanna miss out
So get outta your chair
 
Buy a blockchain
Or whatever is necessary
Join the cognoscenti
In the crypto orgy

SNAKE OIL SALESMEN

 

“Snake oil salesmen” are how
The Hoax’s post-election advisers
Are currently being described
But isn’t that the needed profile

When the advisee is

A nasty slithery reptile?

MIKE PENCE STEPS UP

 

Former VP Mike Pence
Stepped to the plate
Took a hefty swing and sent
A line drive at his one-time mate
 
Might this action begin
The Republican Party’s extraction
From the soul-destroying clutches of
The Orange Hoax’s putrefaction?

YOUNGKIN VENTURES OUT

 

“Read the room, Buddy”
Was how one bystander
Chastised maskless Guv Youngkin
When he visited deep-blue Alexandria
 
Guv, maybe you oughta
Confine your wandering
To the red sections of Virginia
Where the natives are more welcoming

THE COMMIES HAVE COME

 

The Commies have come to DC
Courtesy of Dan Snyder and company
Why pick a pompous identity
The morphs so easily
Into parody and comedy?

MINIMUM WAGE AND RICH GUV

 

Republicans in Virginia’s House of Delegates
Want a minimum wage retreat
To what it was before
Multimillionaire Youngkin came on the beat
 
What say you, Guv?
Do you support this bid
To squash those at the bottom
Of the economy’s pyramid?

HOAX ON THE RAMPAGE

 

The Hoax is on quite a streak

He’s confessed to seeking
The overturn of the election
He’s threatened mayhem against
Authorities conducting legal investigation
He’s been revealed as
Tearing up official documentation
He’s suggested pardons for those
Who took part in insurrection
 
But not to worry
Most Republicans are forgiving
Whatever the Hoax does
They don’t consider it really sinning

OVERTURN THE ELECTION

The Orange Hoax made a statement
That Mike Pence let him down
Mike could have “overturned the election”
But he failed to do so
Denying the Hoax the Presidential crown
 
Thus the Hoax confessed
That overturning the election
Was his aim
Alleging voter fraud was just
A means to the end game

BAN THE BIBLE

 

The book banning crowd
Is getting pretty rough
Don’t want the kids
Exposed to bad stuff
 
Wonder what book
Might be next to fail the test?
Maybe the Bible
With its violence and sex
Including incest

IRS IS WATCHING

 

The IRS is expanding
Its use of facial authentication
Which maybe is a bit too much
Privacy invasion
 
“Didja get a load
Of Taxpayer Sally?”
“Yeah, her return is a mess
But she’s a real hottie”

IS CONFLICT INEVITABLE?

 

Ukraine, Taiwan
Is the world really on the cusp
Of some national leader
Doing stupid stuff?
 
Is conflict inevitable?
Is it something in our genes?
Deep down inside
Are we really just violent machines?

YOUNGKIN AND DEMOCRACY

 

Libertarian Glenn Youngkin
Is declaring war on local government
Who he apparently suspects
Is the source of much devilment
 
He’s starting with school boards
Those insidious organizations
Products of, oh the horror
Democratic elections

DID JOE CLEAR WITH MITCH?

 

Mitch is licking his chops
A challenge has arisen
A pending Supreme Court vacancy
In which the Senate will make a decision
 
Republicans are not in control
But they aren’t down by much
If Mitch could get a few Dems
He could have a really great lunch

ANTI-MASKERS IN VIRGINIA

 

Anti-maskers in Virginia
Are getting really unruly
Yelling, screaming, threatening
Acting the anti-social bully
 
Don’t wanna wear a mask?
Then tape your runny nose
Stuff a rag in your mouth
And like Moby Dick the whale
Yell thar’ she blows!

TUCKER LOVES M&Ms

 

While many males
Seek the aid of pornography
All Tucker Carlson needs
Is M&M candy
 
He sneaks into the bathroom
With a box of M&Ms
When his spouse asks, “Tucker,
What are you doing in there?”
He responds, “Uh, I’m just giving
The green one some air”

WHAT ARE REPUBLICANS FOR?

 

If you believe in lower taxes
A strong defense
And limited but competent government
Where do you find a home
In today’s political environment?
 
Certainly not with Republicans
Who have lost all interest in policy
In their myopic effort
To destroy the Biden Presidency
 
No America first
For today’s Republicans
It’s party before country
For these intellectual shamans

MOM WITH GUNS

 

“Every single gun
Loaded and ready”
Was what a school board heard
From a Virginia lady
 
Yeah, the Old Dominion
Has some tough characters
Although a few of them
Are a bit bonkers

MITCH’S AMERICANS

 

Mitch has a limited view
Of who are Americans
Apparently included are
Only bona fide Caucasians
 
But let’s give Mitch a break
He’s well along in years
And those puffy frog-like jowls
Most likely hinder the conversion
Of thoughts to nouns and vowels

TALKING HEAD QUIBBLINGS

 

The Talking Heads
Were in their element today
In yesterday’s presser
Joe gave them plenty
With which to play
 
Joe has a way with words
Ambling, rambling, meandering
Giving plenty of ammunition
For “Gotcha” by those commentating

JOE'S PRESSER

 

Joe gave it a shot
Much more than an hour
Back and forth with the press
At least he wasn’t a liar
 
He coulda done better
But he coulda done worst
He gave many meandering answers
But he didn't curse
 
Naturally the talking heads
Have dissected the weak points
But give Joe a break
He’s old and has creaky joints

5G

Will 5G eat your flight?

That is a question

AT&T and Verizon

Don’t want to highlight

AT&T and Verizon
Have invested a lot
Including ugly new poles

near your residential flower plot

NOTE TO JOE

 

Joe, you barely have
House and Senate majorities
Lower your expectations
Acknowledge your vulnerabilities
 
Or else Mitch and his crew
Won’t give you win one
They’ll just taunt you
While having lots of fun

NO CRT IN VIRGINIA SCHOOLS

New Virginia Governor Youngkin
On Fox News Sunday
Clarified his position
On critical race theory
 
There are no courses
In Virginia schools
Labeled Critical Race Theory
But there are nebulous tools
 
To elaborate on the Gov’s analysis
Those tools result in unpleasant topics
That aggravate a group of
Don’t-tread-on-me relics 

BLIZZARDO DIABLO

 

Snow on the way
One to three inches
Two to four inches
Not really enough
For snow-loving Grinches

BIDEN AGENDA

 

Republicans, Manchin
And Sinema
Have stymied
Biden’s agenda
 
Can Joe rebound?
Maybe if he stops
Demanding the sky
And settles for
Small pieces of the pie

FILIBUSTER THIS

 

The filibuster used to be
Difficult to apply
Now all it takes
Is a blink of an eye
 
Consequently it has become
A roadblock to democracy
A way for the minority
To completely stymie the majority

MORON

 

A hot mic catches Dr. Fauci
Calling a Senator a moron
The thing is the Senate
Most definitely has more than one
 
Marshall, Paul, Johnson
Cruz, Graham, Hawley
Are among those qualifying
For the Senate’s moron family

RAND PAUL MD

 

Rand Paul is motivating whackos
To threaten Dr. Fauci
Guess that’s the way
They do things in Kentucky
 
Paul is an MD but also
A bit of a medical quack
The kind that considers
Science too abstract

LOCAL SCHOOL BOARD

 

Wannabe on a school board
And harass parents and teachers?
If you were a snotty kid
A school board has its features
 
Did Mrs. Burke put you in the corner?
Now you can get her back
Call her up for questioning
And rake her over the rack
 
Mom didn’t like your tattoos?
Well look at these, Ma
I’ve got ‘toos
All the way to my shoes

GOTTA BE SPECIAL

 

Each generation believes
It’s gotta be special
Which to some can mean more violent
Than a Tasmanian Devil

JUST ANOTHER DAY

 

To many Republican voters
Jan 6, 2021
Was just a day
That had a bit of fun
 
Oh yes,
There were a few bad apples
But mostly there were folks
Enjoying their freedom
To laugh and make jokes

GOP BECOMING FNP

 

Ted Cruz sniveled and groveled
But Tucker Carlson wasn’t placated
Ted called Jan 6 rioters “terrorists”
And Tucker left him dilapidated
 
The Grand Old Party is morphing
Into the Fox News Party
Tucker is calling the shots
And Republicans are responding like robots

DARK CORNERS OF THE AMERICAN PSYCHE

 

Lurking deep down
In the American psyche
Is a desire for chaos
An antagonism toward authority
But also an attraction to
A demonic personality
 
On January 6, 2021
Such a personality
Pushed the nation close to
Unbridle anarchy

PORTA POTTIES FOR I-95

 

The closure of I-95 in Virginia
During a heavy snowfall
Revealed a crying need
Porta potties wall to wall
 
Motorists were marooned
Food and drink were limited
And the only human relief options
Were not for the timid
 
Bowel movements in the snow
Require a certain amount of agility
Some folks were capable
Others lacked the flexibility

SOCIAL MEDIA AND JAN 6

A lesson of Jan 6 is that
Many citizens are not ready
For unrestrained social media
That contains considerable fantasy
 
“It’s online
And therefore it’s true”
Is the guiding principle
For far too many individuals
In the human zoo 

THE TERRORIST

 

The Orange Hoax is
In essence a terrorist
He instigates his adherents
To commit acts of violence
To flout legal authority
To inflict harm on others
To pursue societal hostility
 
What will it take
To restore respect
For law and order
And the norms they protect?

MARJORIE SPOUTS OFF AGAIN

 

Marjorie Taylor Greene
Is starting the year right
Spreading falsehoods on twitter
Getting banned from the site
 
To Marjorie’s defense
Comes her Posse buddy Boebert
Not wishing to be
Left in the dirt
 
The Posse may be a bit
Intellectually flawed
But they’re better armed

Than their competitors on the Squad

WELCOME 2022

Welcome to the new year
Two thousand twenty two
What you gonna
Put us through?
 
We’ve had covid for two years
And the Hoax for five
How about a break
From this depressing jive?