PELOSI REPUBLICANS

Kevin reached far

To find an appropriate insult

For Liz and Adam

Who are defying the Trumplican cult 

"Pelosi Republicans”

Was what he came up with

Wow! Cover the kids’ ears

They shouldn’t hear such filth

PHOENIX RALLY

 

The Orange Hoax took the stage
In Phoenix Saturday
Spouted his usual rubbish
From which he didn’t stray
 
His audience ate it up
Which is no surprise
Afterall they’re in a cult
And dissent is not wise
 
Meanwhile Illinois’ Adam Kinzinger
Of the Republican Party
Is joining Nancy’s committee
Investigating the assault on democracy

OLYMPIC CRISIS

 

A major Olympic crisis
For the first time in several generations
The U.S. failed to win a medal
On the initial day of competitions
 
But not to worry
The first day final events
Such as archery, fencing, judo

Air rifle, air pistol, women’s weightlifting
Are not exactly U.S. strengths

DISTRACTIONS

 

Olympics and covid
Are vying for attention
Distracting us from
The political situation
 
How can we keep up
With Mitch, Nancy
And the group?
Not to mention Kevin
The clown that’s outta the loop

LOVING CROWD

 

It was a “loving crowd”
Is how the Odious Orange Outrage
Described the Jan 6 insurrectionists
Who he inflamed from the stage
 
A great big “Duh”
Is about all you can utter
To such an absurd observation
From the clown with no mental rudder

KEVIN THROWS A TANTRUM

Clarabell the clown

Didn’t make the cut

Nancy told Jim Jordan

To stay out of her hut

Then Little Kevin threw a tantrum

And yanked all his nominees

Leaving the Democrats and Liz Cheney

To investigate the Jan 6 sleaze 

WILL IT BE A CIRCUS?

 

Will Nancy’s Jan 6 committee
Turn into a circus?
It certainly has a clown
Jim Jordan, the Clarabell of the House
 
Who is Clarabell, you ask?
Turn back the clock
To the infancy of TV
And the Howdy Doody Show
Which made little kids rock

STOCK MARKET GETS COVIDED

The stock market today
Took a big drop
Covid said vaccine resistance
Should not stop
 
So thank you Facebook and Fox News
Keep putting out misinformation
And soon you’ll have the economy
Heading for a depression

COVID MOUNTS AN ATTACK

 

Covid is mounting an attack
On the underbelly of the nation
That’s the portion that believes
Vaccines are an evil infestation
 
So when social restrictions are resurrected
You can thank your “Duh” cousins
The ones that are likely
Fox News denizens

SOCIAL MEDIA, A WMD

 

Mark Zuckerberg
Is not looking good
His creation is responsible for
A flood of falsehood
 
Social media has become
Not so very social
Weapon of mass destruction
Is a more apt description
Of the impact on civilization

THE ORANGE FRAIDY CAT

 

On Jan 6 from the stage
The Odious Orange Outrage
Said to the assembled throng
“We’re going to walk” to the Capitol
“And I’ll be there with you”
Definitely implying he was going along
 
But follow me
Was not to be
Instead he went to the White House
And watched the insurrection
On TV

REPUBLICAN HO-HUM

 

The Chairman of the Joint Chiefs of Staff
Saw parallels between words
Of the Orange Outrage
And the rhetoric of Adolph Hitler
The leading autocrat on history’s stage
 
And Republicans go “Ho-hum
What’s the big deal?
So the Hoax’s a fascist
Maybe democracy needs repeal”

RIGHT TO INFECT YOUR NEIGHBOR

 

New covid cases are roaring
The numbers are on an upward trend
But the Fox News scientists say
It’s time for vaccinations to end
 
Every American has the right
To infect his or her neighbor
The whole point of the American Revolution
Was legalizing misbehavior

CRITICAL VOTING THEORY

 

Joe Biden has come forth
With a major defense for
The nation’s neutral election system
Many Republicans want out the door
 
Republicans want state legislatures
To have the power to negate
Local election results if they
Don’t meet the Republican mandate
 
Unless you are of
The proper political persuasion
Republicans prefer you not vote
The heck with the Constitution
 
That’s called Critical Voting Theory
And is currently being taught
In Republican school districts
Which discourage independent thought

THE UNAMERICAN PARTY

 

Rarely in the nation’s history
Has a political party
Been so hostile to non-followers
As today’s GOP
 
The party has morphed
From political organization to cult
Its politicians have abandoned principles
To follow the Orange Hoax’s strut
(Or to be more crude
To kiss the Orange Hoax’s butt)

WHERE’S THE RATIONAL MIDDLE?

 

For most, not all, of American history

A rational middle has existed

There have been dingbats on the left
Weirdos on the right
Weirdos on the left
Dingbats on the right
But usually the rational middle persisted
 
Has the nation’s luck run out?
Have dingbats and weirdos become the majority?
Let’s hope not
The rational middle now seems weak
But maybe it’s just temporary

VACCINATION SKEPTICS

 

Some folks don’t want
A covid vaccination
They say it’s a matter of personal freedom
Which they’re proving by obstination
 
But the vast majority of covid deaths
Are now among those without a vaccination
So the ultimate result might be
A reduction in the number
Of those prone to obstination

REPUBLICAN PARTY PRINCIPLES

 

What are the guiding principles
Of the Orange Hoax-era Republican Party?
Please stop, I’m laughing so hard
I need to go to the potty
 
No principles for these bozos
Other than autocratic rule
Stay out of their way
They tend to drool

TEXAS VOTER QUALIFICATIONS

 

Republican politicians in Texas
Are trying to limit voting
The goals seem to include qualifications
Some might find revolting
 
1. Be Texas born
2. Be no darker than light brown
3. Be Republican
4. Be a big-hatted clown

ORANGE HOAX SUES (THAT’S NEWS?)

 

The Orange Hoax is suing
Facebook, YouTube, Twitter
He wants back on social media
To spread his verbal litter
 
Maybe he wants to discuss
His admiration for Adolph
Which John Kelly tried to discourage
But was rebuffed

CAPITOL TOUR

 

More video is surfacing
Of the Jan 6 Capitol tour
What a well-behaved group
That wandered in the door
 
Republican politicians should be proud
Of their constituents
Who enthusiastically participated
In many and varied incidents
 
Yes, a few got over-exuberant
But they can be forgiven
They were just excited about
Helping the Orange Hoax with sedition

PARTY OF WEIRDOS

 

Once upon a time
The political party for weirdos
Was the Democratic
Times have certainly changed
You can’t get more weirdly frantic
Than Paul Gosar, Mo Brooks, Lauren Boebert
Ron Johnson, Ted Cruz, Matt Gaetz
Andrew Clyde, Marjorie Greene, Louie Gohmert
Not to mention Mitch and Kevin
The leaders of a party
That’s not likely going to heaven

ORANGE HOAX IS GUILTY

 

Who killed Ashli Babbit?
The Orange Hoax wants to know
Well, look in the mirror Hoax
You started the show
 
That was your mob
Who charged the U.S. Congress
You were the one who
Motivated the insurrectionists
 
Republicans need to acknowledge
That their President was a failure
Except for his effort
To instigate misbehavior

JULY 4TH

 

July 4th, Independence Day
In 1826 on this day
Two Founding Fathers
Thomas Jefferson and James Adams
Both passed away
 

(A quirky fact from an upcoming book, “The Presidents in Quirky Illustrated Verse,” by Cranky and Phil McKenney)

GOOD LUCK, AFGHANISTAN

 Well, Afghanistan
We gave it a shot
Sorry it didn’t work out
But twenty years was a lot
 
One theory about
What went wrong
Is to win a war
You gotta bigtime pile on
 
We nickeled and dimed
Which was great for preventing defeat
But for winning the thing
was not so neat 

WITCH HUNT

 

Is a trial really necessary?
The Orange Hoax has
For a long time
Implied with a wink
That his taxes were fine
 
Proving otherwise
Shouldn’t take much
Maybe just a day
If you don’t break for lunch

Kristi Noem’s Militia

 

Kristi Noem
The Republican (of course) Governor
Of South Dakota
Seems to think the state’s National Guard
Is her own personal militia
 
She sent the Guard to Texas
To do some dirty work
Where to next?
Maybe the Capitol in DC
To reinstate the Orange Jerk

HOT

The heat is here

Hotter than hell

Makes you wanna

Ring the emergency bell 

Is it global warming?

Or maybe just summer

Whatever it is

It’s a real bummer

SMACKDOWN FOR MARJORIE

 

Marjorie Taylor Greene said
AOC is a “little communist”
AOC replied
“I’m taller than her”
AOC could have added
“And also I’m not a little fascist”

THE HOAX IS BACK

 

The Orange Hoax is back
He held a “rally” in Ohio
And he was as usual
An unrestrained bozo
 
Complaining, whining, attacking, lying
Back in the action
Showing no humility
Just sucking up adulation

UFOs AND THE ELECTION

 

Critics of the 2020 election
Are missing an obvious possibility
A Government report has described
Unidentified aerial phenomena
So UFOs could very well be
A reality
 
Indeed if you look closely
At the vote audit in Arizona
You might catch glimpses
Of little dark specks
Bouncing about the premises
 
So maybe an alien civilization
Hijacked the election
Installing an Administration
Favorable to alien domination
 
On the other hand
If aliens are about
Who more resembles one
Than the Odious Orange Lout?

WHAT RIGHT TO VOTE?

 

The Department of Justice
Goes after Georgia
For voter restrictions that may
Violate Constitutional order
 
The Republican Party
Is morphing into
The Democratic Party
Of a century ago
That Jim Crow drew
 
Turning back the clock
Is what many Republicans want
To a time when
Racial differences were paramount

RUDY NEEDS A LAWYER

 Rudy got a legal spanking
No more practicing law
In New York State
Where he once was the law
 
My, how the powerful have fallen
Rudy into legal limbo
The Odious Orange Hoax into
The category of bozo

*********************** 

COMING SOON:
“The Presidents in Quirky Illustrated Verse”
 
Verse by David Holland
Illustrations by Phil McKenney
 
Here’s LBJ:
 
Lyndon Baines Johnson was a Texan
He was elected to the House in 1937
In 1948 became a U.S. Senator
And in 1953 became the Senate Democratic Leader
 
In the beginning of World War II
He was briefly on active duty in the Navy
He received a Silver Star
When his plane was shot at from afar
 
When John Kennedy was assassinated
In November 1963
LBJ was the VP
And thus assumed the Presidency
 
As President he had
Both great success and great failure
The great success included
The many components
Of the Great Society
Among them voting and civil rights, Medicare
Urban renewal, and the war on poverty
 
The great failure was
The Vietnam morass
Into which the nation slid
Like a dog on slick glass

SUPREMES ‘TUDE ON SCHOOL

 

In an eight-to-one decision
The Supreme Court held
Saying “F__K School” does not
Permit disciplinary hell
 
The lone party pooper was
Justice Clarence Thomas
His dislike of bad language
Is apparently quite enormous

ENGLISH MAJORS NEEDED

 

English majors needed
Undefinable stuff
Is taking language into
The wild, wild rough
 
Cancel culture, wokeness
Critical race theory
Such things are beyond
The average person’s reality
 
But the words are thrown around by
Bloviating communicators
Pretending there is meaning in
Vague nonsensical descriptors

REPUBLICAN ELECTION REFORM

 

The ideal Republican voter is
White, old, and alienated by the “elite”
Everyone else is
Just dead meat
 
The return of Jim Crow is really what
Mitch and his cronies desire
Bringing that about requires
Convincing the base the need is dire

REPUBLICAN AUTHORITARIANS

 

Republicans are positioning themselves
To control elections at the local level
To eliminate any oversight
That includes Democratic Party personnel
 
Sounds like the democratic process
Is anathema to the GOP
It prefers authoritarian control
To relying on democracy

JOLTIN’ JOE MANCHIN

 

Joltin' Joe Manchin
Is hot to trot
The Dems need his vote
So lotta power he’s got
 
West Virginia
(Which seceded from Virginia)
Certainly should be proud
Of its rambunctious disrupter

OBAMACARE WINS

 

The Supreme Court sent a message
Obamacare is the law of the land
So give it a rest Republicans
Find something else on which
To take an archaic stand
 
Does the medical system
Need some fixing?
You bet it does
The complexity and inefficiency
Is very vexing
 
But Republicans have displayed
No interest in system reorganization
Their main goal is
Political domination
Universal medical care does not
Arouse their attention

MOST OUTLANDISH THEORY YET?

 

Fringe Republicans are pushing
A really whacky theory
That Jan 6 was
An FBI conspiracy
 
Tucker Carlson and company
Have hopped on the bandwagon
So here we go again
Riding the wild dragon
 
Intellectual evolution
Has apparently taken a detour
Social media has intruded
To open a basement door

JOE AND VLADIMIR

 

Joe and Vladimir
Got together
Unlike the Orange Hoax
Joe did not kowtow to Vladimir
As if Vladimir was his owner
 
But did Joe and Vladimir
Accomplish anything substantively?
Probably not directly
But maybe on the margins of reality
 
Which is a murky way of saying
No one really knows
Let’s wait and see where
The next ransomware goes

HARD TO BELIEVE

 

Twenty-one GOP Congresspersons
Exercising their discretion
Voted not to give medals
To Capitol Police Officers and others
Who bore the brunt
Of the Jan 6 insurrection
 
So how ‘bout them apples
You Grand Old Partiers?
No medals for those
Who protected you from rioters?

QANON ON THE MOVE

QAnon
Is getting itself worked up
Feeding on fantasy
Anxious to erupt
 
To show the nation
They’re not unhinged dingbats
Just ordinary citizens
Wanting to irradicate political rats
(Meaning Democrats)

NO GUNS IN TOWN

 

We need Matt Dillon
Remember that dude?
Not the actor but the Gunsmoke TV character
He could be real rude
 
Marshal of Dodge City
Had a simple rule
Don’t bring your gun to town
Or you’re on the jailhouse stool
 
The freedom to carry
Many are now embracing
Indicates an attitude conducive to
Widespread gun misbehaving

CRITICAL RACE THEORY

 

So what is this
Critical race theory?
To the left
It’s an interpretation of history
To the right
It’s a distortion of history
To students
It’s a meaningless class between
Lunch and phys-ed misery

ABUSE OF POWER?

 

The Odious Orange Hoax
Apparently sicced DOJ
Onto members of Congress
To make them pay
Or maybe pray
 
Some might say
Abuse of power
But such was not a crime
Back in Trump Tower

ANTI-VAXXERS ON THE ATTACK

 

Anti-vaxxers
Are coming to the fore
Regurgitating weird stuff
To keep the vaccine from the door
 
A nurse on TV
Claimed being magnetized
But a key wouldn’t stick to her neck
Maybe her polarity had been revised
 
It’s times like these
That we become aware
Of how completely looney
Many of our fellow citizens are

BIDEN AND PUTIN

 

Biden to meet Putin
Will Joe cave like his predecessor
Who ended up kowtowing
To the Russian dictator?
 
Joe is in a better position
Than was the Odious Orange Hoax
Who Putin had a video of
Entertaining young ladies with, er, jokes?

MISSING THE INSTIGATOR

 

The Senate has issued a report
On the Jan 6 insurrection
The report has many security details
But also a big omission
 
It lacks any discussion of
The Odious Orange Outrage
In other words it covers a crime
But ignores the chief instigator
Who dominated the stage
 
The instigator who told a mob
To give democracy the boot
The mob responded “Will do, Sir”
And gave him a salute

VALLEY OF COMPROMISE

 

Extremists to the right of us
Extremists to the left of us
Into the Valley of Compromise
Congress does not rush
 
It is much easier
To obstruct and pontificate
Than do the hard work
Necessary to legislate

OLD MAN PANTS

 

On Saturday night
The Odious Orange Hoax
Was wearing some weird pants
That produced many social media jokes
 
Maybe he got them
From the MyPillow guy
Whose knowledge of odd fabric
Is undoubtedly high
 
In any case the Hoax’s pants
Seemed to be missing a zipper
Perhaps the Hoax doesn’t need one
Maybe he wears a diaper

BAN SWISS ARMY KNIVES

 

A federal judge has said
An AR-15 is like
A Swiss Army knife
Yeah, that sounds right
 
Just like an AR-15
A Swiss Army knife
Is a weapon for mass murder
The corkscrew alone has brought
Death to an unknown number
 
And the can-opener?
Don’t get me started
That’s one lethal tool
Ask the love ones of
The thousands departed
 
The scissors may be tiny
But they can sever an artery quickly
And as for the tweezers
They rip out eyebrows nicely
 
So if you want to commit mayhem
Leave your AR-15 at home
Grab your Swiss Army knife
And hack off a bone

RANSOMWARE

 

Ransomware is apparently
The next big thing
Need to get in on the action
And have a fling
 
Give me big money
Or I’ll use my technological thunder
To make annoying calls
To your land-line number

LOST CONSTITUTION PROVISION

 

A lost provision
Of the U.S. Constitution
Has recently been discovered
And it is no illusion
It was inadvertently omitted
From the first printed edition
 
Article II, Section 1
Has a final paragraph:
“If after a Presidential election
In which the incumbent President is defeated,
But he thinks he actually won
Then he shall be reinstated
If necessary at the point of a gun”
 
So that settles the matter
The Odious Orange Outrage
Is entitled to reinstatement
And return to the White House stage

REINSTATEMENT

 

Nowhere in the Constitution
Is Presidential reinstatement mentioned
But that’s not stopping
The Odious Orange Outrage
From predicting his resurrection
 
And his QAnon supporters
Have hopped on the bandwagon
Saying come this August
Biden will be gone

CONSPIRACY NATION?

 

Conspiracy theories
Are running wild
Whack jobs have
Hit the speed dial
 
QAnon
Is the new religion
Attracting adherents
Like criminals to a prison