HOW FAR IS TOO FAR?

 

When you set out
To overturn elections
Do you limit yourself
To the legal options for doing so?
And there’s a point beyond which
you won’t go?
 
Or are you with the Hoax
And whatever it takes is permissible
Even a violent insurrection
Is not an obstacle?

NEW NATIONAL HOLIDAY

 

Jan 6, a new national holiday
But only to be celebrated
By insurrections bent
On replacing democracy
With an autocrat who is venerated

TANGLED TOES

 

Here’s a photo
Of Cranky’s feet
His right foot is
A tangle of toes
The left is
A site of woes
 
You might think
The tangled mess
Is the more painful
But that’s not the case
 
Inconvenient at times (shoe size)
And most definitely not chick-bait
But for six decades the tangle
Developed at a peaceful rate
 
The other foot, however
Was recently attacked by
One of the most painful maladies
To fall from the sky
 
It’s called Gout
And it can hurt like hell
Makes you wanna slam your head
Into a cast-iron bell

TOP STORY OF 2021

 

The top story of
2021?
How the election was stolen
From the Orange One
 
Of course some would disagree
But the intellectual giants
At Foxnews
Know the facts for sure
So don’t dispute their views

REPUBLICAN PARTY ON THE SKIDS

Will the Republican Party recover
Or will it disintegrate
Into a messy swamp
Of inability to articulate
Anything other than
Autocratic freight?

GOUT IN IDAHO

 

Gout in Idaho
Ain’t very nice
Particularly when the temp
Is making solid ice

QUIET CHRISTMAS DAY (SO FAR)

 

Christmas day is almost over
No major disruptions
What can happen before year’s end?
Certainly no political or big power convulsions

IDAHO CHRISTMAS

 

White Christmas in Idaho
Road clearing is not a priority
Nor for many is vaccination
Free born Americans don’t need
Protection from medical devastation

PUTIN PLAYS THE HOAX

 

Putin gave a four-hour presser
Telling how Russia was being dissed
He whined about as much as
His pal the Orange Limp Fist
 
Meanwhile Limp Fist
Wants SCOTUS to keep his secrets
About the insurrection
And his possibly ill-gotten assets

POSSIBLY SOMETHING GOOD?

 

Biden thanked the Hoax
For vaccine development
And getting a booster
The Hoax was appreciative
And strutted like a rooster
 
Could this be the start
Of a reconciliation
Of a coming together
After years of polarization?
 
Hardly likely
But it’s Christmas
A time of hope
And maybe to patch
The political business

HOAX GETS A BOOSTER

 

The Odious Orange Outrage
Is letting down his base
He got a booster shot
And they think that’s a disgrace

JOE AND THE PROGRESSIVES

 

Joltin’ Joe Manchin
And the Progressive Democrats
Are in a slow dance
Trying to avoid the other’s traps
 
Joe doesn’t want
To spend money
The Progressives think money flows
Like a river of honey

MASKS, FLASKS WHAT’S THE DIFF?

 

Masks provide no protection
So say many
Even the CEO of Southwest Airlines
Dissed them plenty
 
Maybe instead of a mask
We should wear a hazmat suit
And limit our social activities
To quietly playing a flute
 
Pardon the loopy goofiness
Cranky is flying today
His mind is pretty warped
By the covid at play

THEN AND NOW

 

The 1960s had left-wing whackos
Who were certainly strange
But they had mores and values
And sought much constructive change
 
The 2020s have right-wing nut jobs
Who are also strange
But they lack mores and values
And seek anti-democratic change

COVID WON’T STOP

 

Covid is exploding
Again
Just in time for the holidays
Tell the unvaxxed
They’re not outta the woods
They still could get waxed

LOSS OF MORALITY

 

How did the Republican Party
Lose its morality?
More broadly,
Why did many Americans follow
The Party’s falling trajectory?
 
The Hoax was not the cause
He was just a functionary
What was the fundamental flaw
In society and the citizenry?

DON’T TREAD ON ME

 

Don’t tread on me
Don’t jab my arm
I’m a free American
Covid can’t do me harm
 
The downside is
I ain’t very bright
Sometimes I make decisions
That just ain’t right

KEYSTONE COPS PRESIDENCY

 

The Mark Meadows kerfuffle
Is revealing the true nature
Of the Hoax’s presidency
It wasn’t a cabal of capable crooks
It was the Keystone Cops in residency

PROTECT PRO TRUMP PEOPLE

 

“Protect pro Trump people”
Is what Mark the Shark Meadows
Said the National Guard on Jan 6
Was prepared to do if danger arose
 
According to Mark’s inventory
Of interesting text messages
John Jr, Laura Ingraham, and Sean Hannity
Were among those pleading with Mark
To get the Hoax to stop the damages
 
Mark can’t decide
If he should talk or not
He mostly doesn’t want the Hoax
To let him rot

CHRIS WALLACE DEPARTS

 

Chris Wallace is moving on
Fox News won’t be the same
But it still has Tucker Carlson
At the top of his polarizing game

PTSD AT FOX

 

Fox News folks need help

Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder
Has obviously set in
They can’t stop with war stories
Nor the conservatives-as-victim spin
About the reduction of their Christmas tree
To a charred tenpin
 
Tucker especially
Is taking the thing personally
Viewing it as
A crime of great enormity
Warranting jail time
Maybe for eternity

WHAT IS WRONG WITH US?

 

How did one wannabe autocrat
Capture the unquestioning loyalty
Of so many in the county?
What flaw did he discern
In the citizenry?
 
Is the lowest common denominator
So large as to enable
An obviously unqualified rogue
To hijack the head of the table?

PERFORMANCE ARTISTS

 

Performance artists have become
The face of the Republican Party
Individuals craving attention
Not much interested in boring ol’ policy
 
Send out Christmas cards
With guns prominently displayed
Produce weird cartoonish videos
With opponents threateningly portrayed

WAR ON CHRISTMAS

 

A suspect has been charged
With setting afire Fox’s Christmas tree
But might others be involved?
Possibly a disgruntled former employee?
Fella with an Irish name maybe?

DEVIN TO THE RESCUE

 

Wow, what an eye for talent!
The Odious Orange Combover
Has selected a Congressman of great renown
Californian Devin Nunes
To get Combover’s nascent media empire
Off the ground
 
Maybe Tucker Carlson
Will be abandoning his Fox spot
To join the Combover and Nunes
In a milk-gullible-Republicans foxtrot

BUMPS IN THE ROAD

 

The foreign scene is
Beginning to heat up
Russia is eyeing Ukraine
China’s Winter Olympics may see
A diplomatic dustup
 
Meanwhile, covid is not
About to fade away
Indeed, it seems poised
For another big day
 
Congressman Jim Jordan says
For “real” America covid is done
He’s only partly right
In real blue America
Covid is heading down
In real red America
Covid is still going to town

MERRY BLUEGRASS CHRISTMAS

 

A Republican Kentucky Congressman
Tweeted a Christmas picture
His family was outfitted with guns
Guess that’s Bluegrass culture

BORING?

 

Is it possible to miss
The Odious Orange Outrage?
Politics is becoming boring
Maybe we need him on the stage

MAKE FLORIDA A NATION

 

Governor Ron DeSantis
Wants a state militia
Let’s do him one better
And send Florida on a great adventure
 
Subtract it from the union
Make it a separate nation
For too long it’s been an embarrassment
And a financial frustration

ALMOST OUTTA MONEY

 

Down to the wire
That’s how Congress works
Some might say
That makes them jerks
 
But give’m a break
Legislating is difficult
Getting something passed
Requires more than dumb luck
 
Speaking of dumb luck
Boebert, Jordan, McCarthy
Gosar, Gaetz, Greene
Cruz, Johnson, Hawley
All part of the Congressional machine

CAT FIGHT

 

C’mon Guys, gotta admit it
Watching Republican babes
Dukin’ it out
Is almost as much fun
As drinking strong stout
Or fishing for trout
 
A good old-fashion cat fight
And caught in the middle
Is Kevin Dork McCarthy
Perplexed by the muddle
Afraid to even wiggle

BLACK-HEARTED EVIL WOMAN

 

Lauren Boebert
Will not be restrained
She insists her sister Congresswoman
Needs to be shamed
 
Black-hearted evil woman
Is Boebert’s phrase
Characterizing Representative Omar
As the political storms blaze
 
Meanwhile Kevin McCarthy
Just stands aside
Afraid of offending
The Orange Hoax’s tribe

SPENDING AND DEBT

 

Government running out of money
Debt ceiling approaching
The usual year-end chaos
Thanks to political maneuvering
 
Are quibbling, quarreling, inept politicians
Reflections of our society
Or just the price we must pay
For living in a democracy?

WHERE’S THE ORANGE HOAX?

 

This weekend the Orange Hoax
has not been much in the news
Adjusting to the lack of chaos
Has given many the blues
On the other hand
It’s been nice to restfully snooze

COLLEGE FOOTBALL WELCOMES OMICRON

 

Michigan upset Ohio State
Thousands were in the stadium
Not a mask in sight
Just raucous pandemonium
 
The new covid variant
From South Africa
Was flying overhead
Like a hungry tarantula
 
Similarly Auburn and Alabama
Wisconsin and Minnesota
Georgia Tech and Georgia
Virginia Tech and Virginia
All offered a feast
For the viral beast

WITCHES OF WASHINGTON

 

The Dems have the Squad
So not to be outdone
Republicans have produced
The Witches of Washington
 
Led my Lauren Boebert
And Marjorie Taylor Greene
The Witches of Washington
Are capturing the scene
 
A target at the moment
Is House Speaker McCarthy
A deer in the headlights
For the Witches and their posse

THANKSGIVING

 

In honor of Thanksgiving
Let’s take a break
From politicking
 
Oh what the heck, let’s not
Politicking is fun
Particularly when your target is
The Orange Hoax and Don Jr the prodigal son

THE SOVIETIZATION OF AMERICA

 

The comrades of the TRump party
Are determined to Sovietize the nation
Anyone lacking their group think
Must undergo political indoctrination
 
Matt Gaetz, Lauren Boebert
Marjorie Taylor Greene
Will oversee the process
Of turning you into
A robotic mental mess

COURT CASES AS POLITICAL THEATER

 

Court cases have recently become
Entertainment for the masses
And also battle grounds
For political jackasses
 
Self-defense as

A legal justification
Is becoming dependent
On political affiliation
Of the victim, the actor,
The observer, and the commentator

NEW YORK GOVERNORS

 

Governor Cuomo of New York
Is a sexual harasser
So concludes an investigation
Leaving his legacy a disaster
 
What is it with
New York Governors?
Two decades ago
There was Giuliani
Who after a moment of glory
Ended up a TRump groupie

COMPETITION FOR THE HOAX

 

Governor Ron DeSantis in Florida
Has become a matter of concern
For the Orange Hoax
And his possible White House return
 
The Hoax senses a rival
To be countered aggressively
By whatever means that
He views as necessary
 
Another developing rival
Is New Jersey’s Chris Christie
Someone not likely to enter the fray
Is Ted Cruz the Texan
Who fell to the Big Bird of prey

GUNS FOR ALL

 

A lesson from the Wisconsin case
Is all citizens need to be armed
You never know when a mob
Will seek to do you harm
 
Open carry is preferable
A monster gun is best
One that can devastate a city block
Will put your mind at rest
 
The nation’s Founding Fathers
Surely envisioned this
When they put the Second Amendment
On the Bill of Rights’ list

PARENTS AND SCHOOLS

 

Terry McAuliffe lost the Governor’s race
By saying parents shouldn’t be telling schools
What they should teach
implying the absence of parental mental tools
 
But he was partly right
More than a few Dads and Moms
Are in over their heads
On any subject beyond senior proms

TED AND BIG BIRD

 

Ted Cruz is certainly cowered
By the Orange Outrage
But Big Bird is another story
Ted wants the bird caged
 
Ted, you might want to reconsider
Can’t be too careful
Big Bird, after all
Is at least your intellectual equal
 
And by the way, Ted
Your accusation that Liz Cheney
has Trump Derangement Syndrome
Falls flat coming from someone inside
The Trump Infatuation Dome

LET’S GO tRUMP

 

To many adolescent Republicans
(Which describes much of the party)
The phrase “Let’s Go Brandon”
Is hilariously funny
 
Let’s do some bipartisanship
And suggest a few “Let’s Gos” for the Hoax
Who the adolescent Republicans worship
 
Let’s Go TRump
Let’s Go Orange Lump
Let’s Go Monkey’s Rump
Let’s Go Mar-a-Lago Chump
Let’s Go Human Sump
Let’s Go Mental Slump
Let’s Go Tiny Jump
Let’s Go Large Dump
Let’s Go Can't Hump

KEVIN AND GOSAR THE AVATAR

 

Kevin McCarthy defends
Whack-job Gosar the Avatar
Kevin does not think the Arizonian
Took his Avatar too far
 
Whack-job himself
Doesn’t appear perturbed
But then his own siblings
Think he’s a weird bird

BIFURCATION NATION?

 

Much to the distress
Of TRrump Republicans
Some Republican Americans
Attended the Infrastructure signing
As if this was one nation
And not a threatened bifurcation

KAMALA AND JOE

 

Between Kamala and Joe
Is there tension?
Or are certain media folks
Merely stirring up dissension?
 
Kamala just had
A great trip to France
Maybe the media trolls
Should ease up with their rants

SENATOR HAWLEY WHIMPERS

 

I’m an American man
Senator Josh Hawley says
American men need fixing
Speak for yourself Josh
You’re the one whimpering

INDICTMENT FOR STEVE

 

Merrick Garland comes through
Steve Bannon receives an indictment
Dems and the media can barely
Contain their excitement
 
A more deserving recipient
Could hardly be found
Unless it’s the Hoax himself
Will his turn come ‘round?

JUDGE DISSES ORANGE HOAX

 

“Presidents are not kings
And Plaintiff is not President”
So stated a Federal District Judge
About the former White House resident
 
Will the Appellate Court agree?
And then the Supremes?
And how long will this take?
As the Orange Hoax preens and screams

CLOWN SHOW GETS NEW MEMBER

 

Dems have their squad
Of far-left loons
Republicans have their clown show
Of far-right goons
 
Joining the Republican clown show
Is Arizona Congressman Gosar
Who created a video showing himself
As a murderous avatar

PRESIDENTIAL FLATULENCE

 

Joe Biden allegedly
Cut one in the presence
Of the Duchess of Cornwall
Who can’t stop talking
About the presidential flatulence
 
Ease up, Duchy
You can’t tell me
Prince Charles your spouse
Has never passed gas
Maybe claiming it was a mouse

SUBPOENAS AND THE CLOCK

 

Will waiting out the clock
Regarding the Jan 6 subpoena situation
Keep witnesses from having to participate
Thus making a success of procrastination?
 
If Merrick Garland is gonna act
He better not wait too long
Else Steve Insurrectionist Bannon
Will be singing the can’t catch me song

FRAUDULENT ELECTION TEST

 

Sorta odd
That election in Virginia
It did not produce
Election fraud hysteria
 
So if Republicans win
The election is okay
But if Dems win
There is most certainly foul play?

FINALLY

 

A little late for McAuliffe
But at long last
The Infrastructure bill
Dems did finally pass
 
Will they get more?
The betting here is not much
The gap between the moderates
And progressives is such
That bringing them together
Will require much more
Than a soft touch

ELECTION INTEGRITY

 

Governor-Elect Glenn Youngkin
Is hot on election integrity
So much so his underage son
Tested election security
 
Junior wasn’t able to vote
As security was pretty tight
Thus demonstrating to Dad
That integrity was about right
 
Next target for Junior could be
Critical race theory
Maybe he’ll catch a teacher
Acknowledging the nation’s complex history

FOUR POLITICAL PARTIES

 

America now has
Four major political parties
Moderate Democrats
Moderate Republicans (the smallest)
Whack job Democrats
Orange Hoax-worshipping Republicans
 
Can the moderates hold
As the fringes rampage?
Let’s hope that’s the case
So we can eventually exit
This political dark age

IGNORE THE ORANGE HOAX

 

Dems thought
They were on top
Then came Virginia
And a massive belly flop
 
Focusing on the Orange Hoax
Did not produce victory
Maybe Dems should learn from Youngkin
And ignore the Hoax in his misery
 
Act like he’s not there
Concentrate on issues
Treat him like the dowdy uncle
Who is ignored at family barbecues

DEMS BLOW IT

 

It began with
The Afghanistan debacle
Accelerated with
The budget muddle
Culminated with
The parent-school kerfuffle
 
Dems managed to snatch
Defeat from the jaws of victory
Thus adding a new chapter
To their stumbling history

UNCERTAINTY IN THE OLD DOMINION

 

The Virginia race may turn
On the power of local whackos
The ones who scream and yell
At school boards and liberal TV shows
 
McAuliffe brought in surrogates
Unfortunately they were Democrats
Who since the Afghanistan debacle
Have been losing the public’s confidence
 
As inept as he was
Youngkin was largely his own man
Relying on little overt help
From an out-of-state caravan
 
So down to the wire it is
No predictions here
Other than we’ll all
Need a strong beer

TRICK OR TREAT, 2021 VERSION

 

I know where you live
So gimme some candy
Or I’ll get really
Angry and nasty

VIRGINIA’S NEXT GOVERNOR

 

The Governor’s race in Virginia
Is in the national spotlight
Is it about the Orange Hoax
Or school kid’s parents
Who aren’t too bright?
 
It certainly has become
More focused on cultural issues
Than on the usual
Economic policies and values
 
What have Virginians learned?
The Youngkin is a pretty boy
With a wandering lock of hair
And McAuliffe dances like
A drunken grizzly bear

JOE AND THE POPE

 

Joe and the Pope
Had a tete-a-tete
Then Joe went to Macron
And apologized for being inept
 
Meanwhile back home
Dems continued their meandering
Unable to agree on
What to do about legislating
 
But back to Joe and the Pope
Joe says the Pontiff agreed
To Joe getting Communion
Despite some American bishops’ view
That on the abortion issue
Joe is definitely a heathen

DEMOCRAT REGRESSIVES

 

Joe Biden said
I want this done
If not, my Europe trip
Won’t be much fun
 
Democrat Progressives responded
Don’t push us around
We like playing
The goofy clown

MITCH ENDORSES HERSCHEL

 

Mitch endorses Herschel
A decidedly questionable candidate
But Mitch sees a winner
Which makes his heart palpitate
 
A Republican Senate
Is Mitch’s goal
For that he would sell
His already dark soul

DEMS LIMP TOWARD GOAL LINE

 

Congressional Democrats are struggling
To get something done
Republicans are snickering
Enjoying the fun
 
Senator Bernie Sanders
Is not helping
He insists on Medicare expansion
About which he can’t stop yelping
 
Senator Elizabeth Warren
Is optimistic
But she could see the bright side
Of a pandemic
 
Senators Manchin and Sinema
Are playing hard ball
Without them on board
The legislation takes a fall