CORONAVIRUS PRESSER FEB 29

If you’re healthy

You should be okay

If you’re not

You might be going away

That was a message

From Dr. tRump’s rambling news conference

On the many steps he’s allegedly taken

To keep coronavirus on the back bench

Another message was that

The average American did not need

To buy a surgical mask

Just hold your breath until

You are no longer breathing passed gas

Why doesn’t Dr. tRump

Bring out that looney personal physician

He paraded before us

Back before the inauguration?

That guy obviously had

Organizational skills galore

He could get things cooking

And maybe throw Dr. Pence out the door

CORONAVIRUS ATTACKS THE BRAIN

Super Tuesday

Too bad it might not take place

Dr. tRump could order it skipped

So coronavirus would be disgraced

Mick Mulvaney knows what’s happening

That the media is sparking fear

Only a few people might actually die

Not enough to get the quibbling outta first gear

Dr. Dow Jones has a thought

Maintaining confidence is difficult

When Dr. tRump has a long record

Of using words to cover up

Along comes a real crisis

And who’s gonna believe a liar

One who’s lied about everything

From trade, to budget, to chicken fodder

BUCK DON’T STOP HERE

Dr. tRump picked as Point Man

Dr. Mike Pence

For a task that

Is definitely immense

Knowing that loyalty under tRump

Only goes one way

Dr. Mike suspected

His butt was in play

To avoid being the fall guy

Dr. Mike passed along the task

To a subordinate

Who didn’t need to ask

“Who me?

I was just in the area

Find another schmuck

Who’s stupider than water”

And down through the political appointees

And career public bureaucrats

Until finally a couple of summer interns

Get stuck with the buck on their backs.

“GOOD CHANCE YOU’RE NOT GONNA DIE”

MD Dr. tRump

Says coronavirus is not a big problem

We’ve got it under control

To the scene Dr. Mike Pence is double-timing

What a welcome relief

To know Dr. Mike is on the case

We can all relax

Even Bernie’s base

Leaving Dr. tRump

To return to his current favorite enemy

Females in the judiciary

And there are certainly plenty

NEXT BIG UNKNOWN

The next big unknown

For the 2020 election

Is where will Mike Bloomberg be

After the Super Tuesday selection

Super Tuesday is March 3

Less than a week away

Will Mike be full-throttle toward the finish line

Or lost on Dead-End Highway?

Leaving the Democrats to Bernie

His fiscal irresponsible rhetoric

His past coddling of socialist autocrats

His long shot at being President

INDIA OR INDIANA?

tRump holds a rally in India

maybe he thought it was Indiana

Geography is not his strong point

And to him a Hindu and a Hoosier might be similar

Anyway he seems enthralled

By Modi’s brand of Hinduism

Autocratic, anti-Muslim

The world through tRump’s prism

Trump Tower New Delhi

Can’t be far behind

There Donald Jr., Eric, Ivanka

Will likely be spending a lotta time

PUTIN AND tRUMP

Putin gave tRump a call

Saying not to worry

Election meddling wasn’t his thing

Just ask the tooth fairy

tRump thanked him profusely

Saying Putin was upfront to the core

After all, he had a KGB diploma

Which you don’t buy at just any store

Putin then said

“Good call putting that guy Grenell

In control of your intelligence apparatus

With just a little training

He’ll quickly be at the top of the class”

Putin closed with

“We’ve still got your pee-pee tape

Saving it for when there might be a need

To have a few laughs

And wish you Godspeed”

LET’S BREAK SOME CHINA

Buckle your belts and grab your hats

The Orange Autocrat

Is getting into high gear

Storming through the Government

Looking for evidence

Of treason and disloyalty

Not against the country

But against him personally

In his mind

The nation is nothing more

Than a stage for the drama

He creates by swinging

His democracy-destroying hammer

DJ AND INTEL, NOT A GOOD FIT

The Intel people told tRump

The Russians were election meddling

tRump got real mad

And said Putin denied such peddling

The Intel people told Bernie

The Russians were election meddling

Bernie got real mad

And said the Russians were evil pursuing

What are we voters supposed

To make of such opposite reacting?

Maybe that tRump is at best a Doofus

And at worst to a traitor transitioning

DEMOCRATIC DEBATE FEBRUARY 19

Bloomberg was a deer

Caught in the headlight

Warren was a vampire

Moving in for a bite

Bernie was a ranting

Raving old man

Biden was ineffectively

Pounding political sand

Klobuchar was looking

For a subordinate to abuse

Buttigieg was wondering

How could he possibly lose

BERNIE A HYPOCRITE? NAH, CAN’T BE

Bernie is 78

With recent heart bubbles

But he won’t release complete

Descriptions of his troubles

This is almost as bad

As tRump keeping

His taxes under wraps

To prevent anyone from peeping

Hate to inform you, Bernie

But many won’t vote

For a really old coot

Whose mind is so remote

tRUMP’S LOVE AFFAIR WITH OLD WHITE GUYS

Old White Guys

Who commit financial crimes

Have a friend in the White House

Who wants to curtail prison times

tRump apparently considers

Anything about money

Can’t possibly be a no-no

‘Cuz money is just honey

So you steal it

No big deal

It’s the victim’s fault

For being a schlemiel

PRESIDENTS DAY

Will a holiday ever be proclaimed

For the current White House occupant?

He’s been such an exemplar

Of American values and accomplishment

Perhaps he should be joined

In a Scoundrels Day tribute

With Richard Nixon, Bernie Madoff

And others of similar repute

Maybe even including

A sexual predator or two

To acknowledge his efforts

In that corner of the human zoo

RAIN, HOW APPROPRIATE

tRump flew over Daytona

Giving his base a thrill

Then his limo drove the track

And it was like a euphoria pill

His base went berserk

Promising to support him always

Or at least until the race started

Then their attention went sideways

Too bad for tRump

There aren’t more Good Ol’ Boys

To make up for the antagonism

He rouses in other sectors

The race was postponed

A fitting finale for the day

A climate-changing rain

Sent the Orange Ogre on his way

BERNIE'S BROS

Could Bernie beat tRump?

Bernie is probably the Dem

Least likely to bring down

The Petulant Orange Hen

The problem is that

Bernie’s rabid followers

Are mostly more concerned

With him being the victor

Than with rescuing the nation

From the Orange-Headed predator

Such followers are

More cultish than citizens

And thus are similar

To the Trumpian cotillions

FAKE OR NOT?

Was little Billy Barr’s

Tirade for real

Or was it just

A reality show deal?

It’s beginning to look

At least in part the latter

That he’s seeking the truth

With a very long ladder.

And now he’s re-examining

The Michael Flynn plea deal

Despite a guilty plea

That appeared really quite real

Maybe the Attorney General of the nation

Just doesn’t want tRump

To be so blatant

In his efforts to corrupt

STANDING UP TO tRUMP? HOW DARE HE

Who would’a thunk it?

Little Billy Barr

Apparently has had enough

He grew a pair

And said “stop this stuff”

“This stuff” being

tRump’s incessant vicious criticism

Of the Department of Justice, judges,

And the whole legal system

tRump’s tweeting

Makes his job impossible

Says the Attorney General

Who’s finally being responsible

Where this situation now goes

Is anybody’s guess

It’s probably safe to say

It will be a helluva quest

LEARNED HIS LESSON, EH?

Yes, tRump

Is no dope

He won’t again be pushing

The outside of the envelope

Well, maybe a little

Like instructing AG Billy Barr

To give Roger Stone a break

For illegality going too far

Or disparaging and insulting

A wounded war veteran

Who told a Congressional Committee

The truth about the perfect conversation

So on second thought

tRump is still outside the envelope

meaning he’s still

a completely incorrigible dope

DEPARTMENT OF JUSTICE?

Department of Justice?

Not any more

tRump’s Errand Boy

is the new sign on the door

tRump said Roger Stone’s

Recommended punishment was too severe

So Little Billy Barr said

Don’t worry Boss, I’ll bring good cheer

Four U.S. Attorneys

Quit in protest

As Justice in the nation

Sought a new address

PERSONAL AGENDA PRESIDENT

tRump has declared war

On the government he oversees

And on his many enemies

Both real and perceived

Having a President

With a personal agenda

Is not what the Founding Fathers envisioned

For the nation’s leader

A servant of the people

Is what they wished for

Not a “me-first” whacko

Who sees enemies at every door

THE GROWTH OF LYING

Lying has become quite common

In fact it’s the next big thing

Made popular in part

By the Man Who Would Be King

Of course politicians have

Lied for many years

But rarely have we seen them

Receive so many cheers

A segment of the public

Not only is not bothered

But actually relishes

Each lying moment

WHAT’S HIS SECRET?

What is tRump’s secret?

How does he get away

With being such a jerk

Every single day?

With conduct that would be tolerated

On the part of no other

With rampant denigration

Of everyone and their brother

If there’s a solution to the mystery

It lies with the voters

And it might be that both

tRump and his followers are bonkers

HEADS ROLL

tRump the Orange Jerk

Is taking his revenge

Heads are rolling left and right

Like a slaughter of hens

Everyone losing a job

Has a Republican to thank

Once a party of courage and strength

It’s now in the tank

History will not judge it kindly

If it survives at all

It will be forever tainted

By subservience to the Orange Ball

Perhaps never in American history

Has a political party become

So identified with one deplorable

As to be almost done

Here we must hope that

The sad Republican tragedy

Does not take the nation down

In an avalanche of gravity

VICTORY LAP

An Attila the Hun-styled victory lap

Was taken in the nation’s capital yesterday

Contriteness and humility

Were not on display

Instead vindictiveness

Hatred and anger

Were the focus and tools of

An unhinged power-mad predator

In more than two centuries of existence

Rarely have Americans seen

Such an unmitigated example

Of evil vicious spleen

And as usual with the Orange One

His hour-long tirade

Contained enough falsehoods

To hold their own parade

NANCY SHREDS SPEECH

tRump’s meandering speech

Suffered a little shredding

Nancy didn’t like it

So made it rat bedding

She called it

A “manifesto of mistruths”

But that describes about anything

The Odious Orange Outrage approves

Might tRump have also

Annotated her copy

Providing irritation

With bits of commentary?

Perhaps describing his

Successes with the ladies

Letting Nancy know

He wouldn’t put her through the paces

IOWA’S STATEHOOD NON-VIABLE

Iowa’s presentation

Of an election debacle

Suggests the state’s condition

Is now non-viable

So Iowa should be removed

From its status as state

Its embarrassment of an election

Deserves no less a fate

The chaos shown and contributed to

By the intrusive media

Was a disgrace to democracy

And an egregious election failure

Because you grow corn and raise pigs

Doesn’t mean you should be a state

Some organizational and technical abilities

Are necessary for that mandate

And it’s not just a Democratic problem

Joni Ernst passes for a Senator

tRump won the state in ‘16

so its Republican credentials are in order

What should become of Iowa?

The six states that border it

Should each take a slice

And provide guidance for the natives

Until they’re ready for modern life

RAGGED OLD FLAG

A version of Johnny Cash’s

Ragged Old Flag

Was in the Super Bowl

Pre-game grab bag

Originating in the early ‘70s

A concluding line of the essay

Alluded to the trying times

Then underway

How appropriate for today

With the polarized environment

Republican disarray

And an incompetent dangerous President

Yes, once again

The Ragged Old Flag

Is facing trying times

Let’s hope it’s just

The Almighty’s gag

SUPER BOWL SUNDAY FOR tRUMP

Super Bowl Sunday

And all through the house

Not a twitter was stirring

Except for the tRump mouse

He wanted to make sure

No one had forgotten him

So he tweeted

“Here I am”

“I’m beating the rap

On the impeachment thing

Come Wednesday I’ll

Maybe try Ukraine again”

“Or maybe something else

To get everyone worked up

And not forgetting about me

As a Presidential screw-up”

MAYBE A CENSURE VOTE?

Any chance Senate Republicans

Would censure the Odious Orange Outrage

Just say “You did wrong

Now turn the page”?

The likelihood of such an action

Is between slim and none

Cast such a vote

And your career is likely done

In other words growing a pair

Is not something Senate Republicans

Would do on a dare