LOVERS’ QUARREL

Kim Jong Un and

The National Emergency

Had their lovers’ rendezvous

But it turned a bit nasty

Apparently they could not agree

About who should be on top

Each thought of himself

As the male of the lot

So they had a spate

Each in a huff stomping away

Maybe they’ll make up

Or maybe they’ll bring nuclear doomsday

NO INVESTIGATION, JUST MISDIRECTION

The Republican members

Of the House Oversight Committee

Showed they are as autocratic and oligarchical

As any Soviet entity

Attacking Michael Cohen

Was the order of the day

Don’t waste time defending

The indefensible Buzzard of Prey

Distract and misdirect

That was the GOP strategy

To hell with truth and facts

Just make the show whacky

MICHAEL COHEN, WHAT YA’ GOT TO SAY?

Here’s hoping Michael Cohen

Gives us what we want

Which is enough juice to put

The Orange Disaster in the Swamp

It will have to be a lot

To jolt the Republican herd

Out of their Trumpism trot

The Republican Party is no more

The National Emergency has taken it over

Some have left but those who remain

Have sold their souls to a serial bloviator

SO WHO'S COMING BY BOAT?

For their get together in Hanoi

Kim Jong Un is taking the train

The National Emergency will arrive by plane

Anybody coming by boat

To join the little game?

Will Throttlebottom and Kim

Celebrate their second meeting

With a visit to a local spa

Where they may get a special “greeting”?

Or maybe they’ll just have

Haircuts together

A slick-backed flattop for Kim

A pasted-on orange mop for the other

CADET BONE SPURS RETURNS TO 'NAM

He’s back in the saddle

Our National Emergency

He’s gonna denuke Korea

With Kim Jong Un in Hanoi

Maybe while he’s there

He will show his bone spurs around

Telling them of his heroic behavior

In keeping them from this ground

But the Hanoi meeting

Will likely play second fiddle

To Michael Cohen’s testimony

About the Orange One’s financial riddle

How did he pull

Such a great con job

Of convincing the nation

He was richer than the Mob?

URGES

Robert Kraft says he’s innocent

The National Emergency is persuaded

And besides, it was only paying for sex

A crime much overrated

The National Emergency understands those urges

Used to have them his own self

Then he got old and obese

So now it’s just fries, burgers, and golf

5G, NOT IN HIS LANE

The National Emergency

Recently dispensed some wisdom

On technology matters

Which are beyond his field of vision

He spoke of 5G and 6G

As if he had a clue

But really he was as clueless

As a turtle in a zoo

Hey President Throttlebottom

Best stay in your lane

You get into the technology swamp

And you reveal your empty brain

Stick to what you know best

Personal insults and outrageous invective

Leave the heavy thinking

To those who aren’t mentally defective

END MAY BE NEAR

Is Mueller coming down the stretch?

Everybody is saying so

But does everybody

Really, really know?

If we are near the end

Of this bit of entertainment

The fun won’t necessarily be over

We just shift to another event

Will the public get to see

The “report” of the investigation?

If we are denied

The curiosity will quickly become an infatuation

NOBEL PRIZE

The National Emergency

Wants a Nobel Prize

He got the Japanese

To nominate him as a “surprise”

If there were a Nobel Prize

For congenital unending lying

He would likely be a winner

And most certainly be in the running

But for what other Nobel

Would he be in competition?

Chemistry, physics, peace?

Obesity, infidelity, cognitive dysfunction?

SPACE FORCE

Seventy-one hounds have been interviewed

For the position of Presidential Dog

All have declined

One saying she’d rather eat a frog

Meanwhile the National Emergency

Is charging forward as usual

Greeting suggestions to calm down

With a Presidential refusal

A Space Force is his latest

And what he secretly wants

Is to dress the new military unit

To resemble Trump hotel bellhops

DERANGED TRAITOR?

Andrew McCabe is a deranged traitor

According to The National Emergency

The pot calling the kettle black?

That’s certainly a possibility

The National Emergency is now

Threatening Venezuela

Maybe the U.S. should take action

But we lack a competent leader

An international crisis

With The National Emergency at the helm?

What could go wrong

Other than anything under the sun

1ST AMENDMENT REQUIRES NAT’L EMERGENCY

The National Emergency

Spent the weekend in Mar-a-Lago

Implying the First Amendment

Just had to go

He objects to criticism

Sees it as traitorous

Allowing comedians to make fun of him

Which he considers outrageous

Another National Emergency Declaration

Might just be necessary

To silence those who call him

A yammering, jabbering absurdity

THE REAL NATIONAL EMERGENCY

The President of the nation

Is a National Emergency

His lack of competence

Threatens us all with scurvy

For two more years

We are at his mercy

Limping along

Burdened with his idiocy

Political parties are supposed to be

Foundations of democracy

But one of our parties

Has fallen victim to hypocrisy

The Grand Old Party

The party of Lincoln, Eisenhower, Reagan

Has degenerated into

Moldy nasty possum bacon

The party needs

To put the nation first

To stop trying to quench

Its destructive political thirst

THE OBESE ORANGE ONE

The Petulant Orange One

Has finally released

His medical exam results

At least a little piece

He’s fatter than he was last year

He’s even rated obese

But you don’t need an exam to know that

Just look at his excess yeast

On his front side and his back side

He’s certainly expanding

Filling the large void

Created by his incoherent rambling

I WANT MY WALL!

Mexico will pay for it

No, Congress will pay for it

Or maybe I’ll find money elsewhere

If not I’ll have a fit

Because I’m the Petulant Orange One

The President of this place

You do what I say

Or I’ll stomp you in the face

Mussolini is my idol

Putin is my pal

Hannity is my advisor

Ingraham is my gal

Democracy is not perfect

The Constitution is sometimes in error

I need the Wall

To show I have a pair

PRESIDENTIAL PET

The Petulant Orange Carrot

Doesn’t want a pooch

Would be too much work

Wouldn’t have time for lunch

Maybe a cat for him

There is no more narcissistic animal

Than the haughty cat

Number one pure and simple

And that is a fact

But if a cat won’t do

How about a rat

Now don’t get carried away

With how appropriate is that

Or maybe a sneaky weasel

One who lies unceasingly

About all the nasty evil

He does incessantly 

WILL HE SIGN?

Will the Petulant Orange One sign

The Congressional compromise?

Or will Sean, Laura, Ann, and company

Persuade him otherwise?

On one hand is being a responsible leader

On the other is an ego of exponential dimension

Are you really putting your money

On the responsible leader option?

Three days for the drama

To run its nasty course

Going down to the wire

Riding an unpredictable orange horse

AMY

Amy K. has entered the arena

Throwing her hat into the ring

She wants to be President

Of this whole darn thing

Well, she’s certainly entitled to a shot

There is one problem, however

She has acquired a rep

As a managerial ogre

Haven’t we had quite enough

Of managerial chaos?

Do we need another

Screaming, raging albatross?

Let’s have someone

In charge of the nation

Who treats subordinates with respect

And not just as objects of flagellation

GIVE VIRGINIA A BREAK

The State of Virginia

That in 1989 elected Douglas Wilder Governor

That went for Barack Obama in 2008 and ‘12

Is being portrayed as a racial backwater

Yes, some state leaders

Are verbally inept

With a sensitivity level

That needs to be reset

But lighten up, Folks

It’s not a perfect planet

A life of zero insensitivity

Is achievable only by the absolutely frantic

COULD HE REALLY WIN A SECOND TERM?

So, what has the Giant Orange Toad

Complained about today?

Certainly must be something

He always has a lot to say

He seems to enjoy

Dissing the growing horde

Of Democrat presidential candidates

Contending they’re out of their gourd

Democrats are coming out of the woodwork

To run for President

All think they have a chance

To be 1600’s next resident

And if the Orange One’s the opposition

They may well be correct

He couldn’t win a second term

And please don’t say “wanna bet?”

PRESIDENTIAL HARASSMENT

The Democratic Party is being charged

By the Petulant Orange One

With Presidential Harassment

For subjecting him to financial examination

But the harassment really emanates

From him and only him

Subjecting us citizens

To his everchanging whim

With bombastic tweets

And falsehoods by the ton

He invades our space

From before dawn ‘til after the setting sun

His unceasing effort

To be the center of attention

Is harassment of the first order

Disturbing the entire nation

THE OLD DOMINION, FRONT AND CENTER

What can be said

About Cranky’s native state

Other than “Opps”

There must be a mistake

Perhaps what is needed

Is a State Commission

To review all yearbooks

Since maybe even Prohibition

Find all instances

Of racial and gender insensitivity

Identify those involved

And raise their taxes significantly

Appeared in Black Face?

Then your standard deduction

Is summarily eliminated

That’ll teach you a lesson

And also greatly expand

The state’s tax coffers

Because bad judgement in the Old Dominion

Is as ubiquitous as bad golfers

LEGISLATION AND INVESTIGATION

“If there is going to be

Peace and legislation

There cannot be

War and investigation”*

*From the State of the Union

If the Petulant Orange One

Really wanted national and international stabilization

He should reconsider

His nasty verbal regurgitation

And his love affair

With constant vilification

Coupled with his appetite

For incessant alienation

Along with his

Desire and dedication

To treating his opponents

With unceasing vituperation

Or maybe what is needed

Is simply a Presidential resignation

To relieve the nation of

A severe case of political constipation

WHICH STATE OF THE UNION DID YOU HEAR?

The Petulant Orange One

Did not let us down

He appeared before Congress

And acted like a clown

The Petulant Orange One

Certainly let us down

He appeared before Congress

And did not act like a clown

So which version of the State of the Union

Was on your TV

On mine for awhile was the second

So I wasn’t very happy

But then did appear

The false statistics, the hyperbole

About the Mexican border

And how criminals get in free

The Orange One’s concerns

And absolute fixation

With the border and a wall

Only touch on the problems of immigration

He then continued with

Too many self-congratulations

Leaving truth a casualty

And finishing with exaggerations

But the bar of expectations

Was really very low

So a somewhat positive response

Should boost his polls and ego

STATE OF THE UNION

Tuesday night

We will be told

The State of the Union

By the Giant Orange Troll

Will he be presidential?

Let’s hope not

It’s more entertaining

When he rambles a lot

Making stuff up

As he plows ahead

Getting wilder and wilder

Until it’s time for bed

Maybe Nancy

Will make some faces

And give us a wink

When lies he embraces

LIFELONG PURITY ONLY NEED APPLY

Democrats are in danger of becoming

The party of lifelong purity

Any shenanigans in your past

And you’re condemned for all eternity

Al Franken was an early victim

Of the new environment

Kristen Gillibrand pointed

And he was gone in a moment

Yearbooks all over the nation

Are being closely scrutinized

For instances of insensitivity

For injustices being minimized

Offended by someone’s conduct?

Now you have recourse

Just make a bit of noise

And from society they will be divorced