CADET BONE SPURS WOULD'A CHARGED!

Cadet Bone Spurs, recipient of five draft deferments back in his youth, has proclaimed that if he had been present at the Florida High School shooting, he would have charged into the building, even if he didn't have a weapon.

Well, it's a shame the nation didn't have him on the front lines during that war of his youth. He undoubtedly would have single-handedly dispatched many Commies and inspired his fellow soldiers to great acts of mayhem. Yes, Cadet Bone Spurs would have been a wonder.

Which is why he deserves the parade he is planning to honor himself with. If anyone in our nation's history deserved a parade, Cadet Bone Spurs is that one.

While at it, he maybe should give himself a few medals for the bravery that most certainly would have been. A Congressional Medal of Honor might be overdoing it, but few would begrudge him a couple of Silver Stars or so.

And since his is a family Presidency, maybe some Bronze Stars for Ivanka, Jared, Eric, and Junior. Their Greatness certainly warrants recognition. Oh, and Melania also. If anyone deserves a medal, it is she.