PLEASE RIOT, PLEASE

 

The Orange Hoax so much wants
A second insurrection
It would prove in his mind that he remains
A magnificent national obsession
 
He’s in effect telling his MAGAs
“Please run amuck
Riot, pillage, and plunder
Leave the nation thunderstruck”

TO THE RESCUE

 

One Swiss bank, UBS
Has moved to rescue another,
Credit Swisse
Will this restore financial bliss
Or is the world still tottering
On the edge of an abyss?
 
Don’t ask Ron DeSantis or the Orange Hoax
They're too busy ferreting out woke
Real world problems
Make them choke

HE WANTS TO BE ARRESTED

 

The Orange Hoax says
He expects an arrest
He wants his worshipers
To publicly massively protest
 
Thus he’s turning to
The only success of his Administration
And that was instigating
A mob insurrection

SANTOS UPDATE

 

How’s George getting along?
Apparently pretty swell
Giving speeches in Congress
Serving his constituents well
 
So is that it
For a couple of years
George pretending to be a Congressman
Republicans pretending he’s not theirs?

MARCH MADNESS

 

The ‘Hoos went one and done
Thus not prolonging the agony
And enabling their fans
To return to their apathy
 
That’s the great thing about
Your team taking an early out
You can then enjoy the tournament
Without any further emotional wipeout

TURN BACK THE CLOCK

 

Is return to 1930s isolationism
What DeSantis and friends want?
C’mon Ron, it’s 2023
What happens over there
Affects life over here
Or haven’t you heard about
That Internet thingy in gear

ELON MUSK HAVING FUN

 

Twitter apparently played a central role
In the Silicon Valley Bank run
So was the situation little more
Than Elon Musk having a bit of fun?
 
Maybe this is just the beginning
Of Twitter-aided panics
The possibilities are endless
Rumors, conspiracies, all varieties of fanatics

BANKING GIBBERISH

 

Cryptocurrency fans are saying
“We told you so”
Cryptocurrency skeptics are saying
“Take your funny money and go”
 
Who really understands
How the banking system functions?
The system fundamentally depends on
Maintaining consumer consumptions
Assumptions, presumptions, and delusions
 
In other words
The functioning of the banking system
Rests on intangibles
Which resist precise description
But are not expendables

POLITICIANS LICK THEIR CHOPS

 

Silicon Valley Bank in California
Went belly-up big-time
Will non-insured depositors
Have to lose their dime?
 
Whoa! Big-time bank failure
Means big-time political issue
Politicians right and left
Are licking their chops
Looking to pull out
All the rhetorical stops

TYPING PAPER

 

In an old box
Up in the attic
Found something called “Typing Paper”
Vaguely familiar
But couldn’t quite place it
 
And then the mental fog
Began to lift
Many decades ago, typing class
Sitting between Karen and Nancy
Hoping I wouldn’t pass gas

Pecking away at a rudimentary beast

Called a typewriter

Most of which are now deceased

CAN THE CENTER HOLD?

 

Far-right Republicans are myopically attached
To low taxes and deficit spending control
Far-Left Democrats are myopically attached
To an ending inequities goal
Without a functioning political center
The clash of the extremes could throw
The economy into a toilet bowl
 
Thus the nation approaches
The budgetary season
Which will prevail
Chaos or the rule of reason?

TUCKER MAKES WAR DOCUMENTARY

 

Tucker is selecting film

For a documentary on war
With the goal of showing
It’s nothing to abhor
And really quite a bore
 
There are soldiers in a mess hall
  Having evening chow
An engineer doing roadwork
  Riding a big plow
A clerk in an office
  Displaying computer know-how
Visiting entertainers
  Causing the troops to wow
And a soldier’s pet kitty
  Going meow
 
Yes, war is not that bad
Tucker certainly knows
He’s watched McHale’s Navy, Gomer Pyle
And similar TC shows

KEVIN AND TUCKER

 

Kevin and Tucker
Have become media targets
Two-faced and two-tongued
They are ideal comic subjects
 
Could Kevin be remembered
As the most inept Speaker in history?
Could Tucker’s contribution be
A negative turn in Fox’s legacy?

FOX, FOR NEWS YOU LIKE

 

Fox needs a new slogan
Downplaying their portrayal
As a news organization
And highlighting their emphasis
On prejudicial presentation
 
Turn to Fox
If unhappy with the news
Our prejudicial presentation
Will chase away your blues
 
Tucker, Sean, Laura
Hop on the bandwagon
Don’t pretend anymore
That bias and bigotry
Aren’t what your followers adore

WHEELS OF JUSTICE

 

In a world where almost everything
Is operating at warp speed
One area seems
To have missed the call
The wheels of justice turn slowly
Sometimes seemingly not at all
When will the Orange Hoax and George Santos
Feel the hammer of justice fall?

WANNABE PRESIDENTS

 

Apparently a necessary step
For wannabes seeking the Presidency
Is to produce a book
With gravitas and seriousness aplenty
 
Notice “produce” rather than “write”
Because such works are mostly
The outcome of collaboration
Between the wannabe and writers
Who pen most of the presentation
 
Ron DeSantis has the latest effort
By a presidential wannabe
Give it a read if you must
Think I’ll stick to the TV

QUESTIONS

 

Is Joe too old
To be President?
Is the Orange Hoax too criminally inclined
To return as White House resident?
 
Is Jim Jordan too dense
For a weaponization committee?
Is Marjorie Taylor Greene too mentally challenged
To live in a big city?
 
Are MAGA Republicans too belligerent
To participate in a democracy?
Are Republicans in general too diverse
To be a political party?
 
Has the Electoral College
Become an anachronism?
Is so,
Would the necessary Constitutional Amendment
Ever make it through
Red state antagonism?

HOOS WELCOME LIZ

 

Liz Cheney’s new gig
Is at the U of V
Involving research, teaching
And in her words participating
“In other University” activity
 
Once upon a time
The U of V was
A party school extraordinaire
A la the movie Animal House
So Liz, are you prepared
To let down your hair
And dance the dirty dog
At a Wahoo weekend fair?
(At least Kevin and Marjorie
Won’t be there)

WOKE AND PROUD OF IT

 

Cranky is woke
And proud to be in the queue
What is woke?
Don’t have a clue
But look at the crowd
condemning things as woke
Most of them
Belong in a zoo

CLEANING UP THE MESS

 

Thirty thousand truck loads
Of Ohio toxic waste
Is looking for a home
Does your state have any space?
 
Say a big empty area
Mostly dust and dirt
With no humans or wildlife
Or bugs that could get hurt