AFGHAN QUANDRY

 

Joe seems to be recovering
From his initial Afghan blunder
But the operation’s not over
There still could be thunder
 
When the Americans are gone
What becomes of the country?
Will it return to the Middle Ages
Or remain in the 21st Century?
 
The prognosis is not good
Western values are not advancing
Cultural and religious obstacles
Are local intolerance enhancing

NEIGHBORHOOD RANSOMWARE

 

If a neighbor annoys you
Say, by continually planting new stuff
You might consider ransomware
As a way to get rough
 
Send an anonymous note saying
Your plantings will only survive
If you leave ten grand in bitcoins
At the end of your drive

QUIBBLING

 

Biden supporters and those of
The Odious Orange Outrage
Are quibbling over who
Set the messy Afghan stage
 
The bottom line is
Both those guys are at fault
The Orange Hoax was just
Generally incompetent
And Joe had a temporary
Serious lack of judgement
 
Hopefully Joe
Can bounce back
The Hoax, however
Is hopelessly out of whack

ALWAYS SOMETHING

 

Back to school
Is now underway
Much to the enjoyment of
Those with a lot to say
 
About covid, masks
Vaccines, the proper pronoun
For a transgender kid
The proper approach
To a disgruntled id
 
There’s always something
To complain about
Take me for instance
I’ve got gout

SCHOOLS, VACCINES, MASKS

 

Schools, vaccines, masks
The nation plows ahead
Hoping for some clarity
Other than a hospital bed
 
Many politicians certainly
Aren’t helping the matter
They’re catering to the fringes
With nonsensical chatter

AMERICA IS BACK?

 

America is back
Was what Joe once said
Many might now respond
Yeah, back in bed
 
Joe’s unilateral action
Doesn’t show much respect
For our allies who
We’re seeming to reject
 
The Orange Hoax acted haphazardly
But Joe, you’re better than that
A competent leader does some preparation
Before going to bat

JOE DIGS HOLE DEEPER

 

Joe, you’re digging your hole deeper
Saying to ABC there was
No way to withdraw troops
“Without chaos ensuing”
Is just a flat overstating
And doesn’t justify your lack of planning
 
Accept that you screwed up
Withdrawal might well be
The correct decision
But that doesn’t make
Your implementation
The only possible version
 
Stop defending chaos
Admit the planning was poor
Focus on what’s ahead and not
What’s already out the door

IS THE WORST OVER?

 

Is the worst over in Afghanistan?
The Taliban seems willing
To give America a little room
To extract itself without fighting
 
The next couple of weeks
Will certainly be tense
But we may luck out
And then can play politics
On our own turf
As we yell and shout

WHO WROTE THE EXIT PLAN?

 

Joe said the buck stopped with him
But he certainly spread some blame
The way the operation is unfolding
Leaves a lot with shame
 
The exit “plan” most likely
Did not contemplate
Hundreds of Afghans chasing
A C-17 as it left the gate

BOO!

 

How come our Afghans
Lacked the will to fight?
All the Taliban had to do
Was say a quick little “Boo”

A REPUBLICAN MENTAL GIANT

 

This Governor in Florida
DeSantis is his name
Thinks public health
Is just a political game
 
He’s aiming for the Presidency
But he will have to contend
With another mental giant whose
Public health policy was just pretend

AFGHANISTAN

 

Getting back to politics as usual
Democrats want to spend money
Republicans want to cut taxes
The debt limit needs to be raised
Or the Government collapses
 
Meanwhile Afghanistan
Is not looking good
Biden will get some blame
But Bush, Cheney, Rumsfeld
Own the real shame

WE KNOW WHERE YOU LIVE

 

Is American democracy deteriorating from
“Here’s my position
Now let’s hear
The merits of your position”
 
To “I don’t like your position
And I know who you are
And where you live”
With the implication being
Some unpleasant retribution?

KICKED OFF YOUTUBE

 

Rand Paul and
Marjorie Taylor Greene
Have been temporarily suspended
From YouTube for bad-mouthing
Masking and the vaccine
 
Too bad they weren’t
Suspended from Congress
That body could use fewer
Dingbats with brain fungus

MASKING AND THE AMERICAN PSYCHE

 

How did masking get to be
Such a disputed activity?
Is it something in the American psyche that
Makes mountains out of molehills indiscriminately?
 
You would think political leaders
Could avoid characterizing the masking matter
As a choice between freedom now
Or live with tyranny forever

ELECTION WHEELING AND DEALING

 

The Orange Hoax treated the election results
Like a real estate deal going bad
Instead of accepting the outcome
He wanted to continue negotiating a tad
 
Keep throwing up obstacles
Wear the opponent down
You just might get lucky
And then you’re a happy clown
 
Same thing with Cuomo
Don’t think you have to leave town
Just be obstinate
And maintain your perplexed frown

FOXNEWS GERBIL IN HUNGARY

 FoxNews Gerbil Tucker Carlson

Has been in Hungary

Who knows why

Maybe he’s on a world tour

Seeking autocrats

He can adore

GOP VERSUS DEMOCRACY

 

Many in the Grand Old Party
Are tired of this democracy crap
They want to put voters
In an autocracy trap
 
No more “getting out the vote”
Suppression is their objective
Limit the franchise to those
Whose reactionary vote is reflexive

50TH ANNIVERSARY!

 

Who would’a thunk it?
A half century ago
They did not comprehend
How far they had to go
 
A Vietnam Vet
An anti-war protestor
No way would this
Last a semester
 
But fifty years went by
Multiple dogs, many cars
A Chevy pickup named YUB
And oh yes
Two daughters who are stars
 
It started in C’ville
Followed by Micronesia
Then back to Virginia
First Chesapeake
Then Williamsburg
And finally Alexandria
 
So Happy Fiftieth!
I’ll try to keep toothpaste goo
Outta the sink
If you do some dusting
Maybe once a week
And keep plenty of prune juice
Around for me to drink

WHERE’S THE WHISKEY, MIKE?

 

Former SecState Mike Pompeo
Can’t remember who may have downed
A fifty eight hundred dollar bottle of whiskey
Before he left town
 
The whiskey was a gift
From the nation of Japan
It wasn’t for you personally, Mike
It wasn’t part of your pension plan
 
About par for the course
From one of the Hoax’s team
Many of them still living
In the election fraud daydream

KISSY-FACE POLITICIANS

 

The days of kissy-face politicians
Are rounding the final bend
New York’s Andrew Cuomo
Might well be the end
 
Hope Joe Biden is tuned in
From time to time he’s been
A little too hands-on with women

Even a bit creepy now and then

ADVICE FOR CUOMO

 

New York Governor Cuomo
Needs some advice
On rebutting charges of sexual conduct
That wasn’t nice
 
Well, he ought to go
To the all-time expert
The Odious Orange Outrage
Whose strategy is don’t deny

Just brag from the stage

THE OLYMPICS DISTRACTION

 

The Olympics are distracting
From the pandemic and politics
We can’t focus on covid and the Hoax
While watching skate boarding tricks
 
Speaking of the Hoax
According to Mark Meadows
The Hoax has been regularly
Meeting with his “cabinet”
To which the only response is “really?”

THE PARTY THAT LOST ITS WAY

 

Remember when the GOP
Was an authentic organization
Not the clown show
That is its current incarnation?
 
Is the party’s decline
All the Orange Hoax’s responsibility
Or was the stage set
By three decades of incompetency
Stretching back to Newt Gingrich
And his anti-government obstinacy?

TEA PARTY REPUBLICANS

 

Tea Party Republicans
Are feeling the need
To let the world know
They’ve still got their speed
 
Mountains out of molehills
Are what get them panting
And masking is a molehill
Ready for their ranting

IMMORTAL PRESIDENTIAL WORDS

 

“The only thing we have to fear is fear itself”—FDR, 1933.
 
“Ask not what your country can do for you. Ask what you can do for your country”—JFK, 1961.
 
“Just say the election was corrupt and leave the rest to me and the R. Congressmen”—DJT, 2020.
 
So how 'bout them apples?
Didn’t think the Hoax
Was up to his predecessors?
Well, he showed you
He’s among the great motivators

MASK TANTRUM

 

House Republicans
Don’t want to mask
It’s a matter of freedom
And also an inconvenient task
 
Don’t tread on me
Is their motto
They’re insurrectionists at heart
Rebelling for little more than ego

ROUTERS ATE MY ELECTION

 

The Orange Hoax’s latest villains
In his election fraud fantasy
Are computer routers
Belonging to an Arizona county
 
Bottom line is
The Hoax should stick with his putter
He wouldn’t know a router
From a boat’s rudder
Or a cow’s udder

Or a churn for butter

JUST A LITTLE FUN

 

Four police officers today
Testified concerning
The Hoax’s “loving crowd”
And how it was so inspiring
 
It warms your heart to hear
What a lovefest it became
Only a few battered skulls
And bruised bodies
So no need to find blame

PELOSI REPUBLICANS

Kevin reached far

To find an appropriate insult

For Liz and Adam

Who are defying the Trumplican cult 

"Pelosi Republicans”

Was what he came up with

Wow! Cover the kids’ ears

They shouldn’t hear such filth

PHOENIX RALLY

 

The Orange Hoax took the stage
In Phoenix Saturday
Spouted his usual rubbish
From which he didn’t stray
 
His audience ate it up
Which is no surprise
Afterall they’re in a cult
And dissent is not wise
 
Meanwhile Illinois’ Adam Kinzinger
Of the Republican Party
Is joining Nancy’s committee
Investigating the assault on democracy

OLYMPIC CRISIS

 

A major Olympic crisis
For the first time in several generations
The U.S. failed to win a medal
On the initial day of competitions
 
But not to worry
The first day final events
Such as archery, fencing, judo

Air rifle, air pistol, women’s weightlifting
Are not exactly U.S. strengths

DISTRACTIONS

 

Olympics and covid
Are vying for attention
Distracting us from
The political situation
 
How can we keep up
With Mitch, Nancy
And the group?
Not to mention Kevin
The clown that’s outta the loop

LOVING CROWD

 

It was a “loving crowd”
Is how the Odious Orange Outrage
Described the Jan 6 insurrectionists
Who he inflamed from the stage
 
A great big “Duh”
Is about all you can utter
To such an absurd observation
From the clown with no mental rudder

KEVIN THROWS A TANTRUM

Clarabell the clown

Didn’t make the cut

Nancy told Jim Jordan

To stay out of her hut

Then Little Kevin threw a tantrum

And yanked all his nominees

Leaving the Democrats and Liz Cheney

To investigate the Jan 6 sleaze 

WILL IT BE A CIRCUS?

 

Will Nancy’s Jan 6 committee
Turn into a circus?
It certainly has a clown
Jim Jordan, the Clarabell of the House
 
Who is Clarabell, you ask?
Turn back the clock
To the infancy of TV
And the Howdy Doody Show
Which made little kids rock

STOCK MARKET GETS COVIDED

The stock market today
Took a big drop
Covid said vaccine resistance
Should not stop
 
So thank you Facebook and Fox News
Keep putting out misinformation
And soon you’ll have the economy
Heading for a depression

COVID MOUNTS AN ATTACK

 

Covid is mounting an attack
On the underbelly of the nation
That’s the portion that believes
Vaccines are an evil infestation
 
So when social restrictions are resurrected
You can thank your “Duh” cousins
The ones that are likely
Fox News denizens

SOCIAL MEDIA, A WMD

 

Mark Zuckerberg
Is not looking good
His creation is responsible for
A flood of falsehood
 
Social media has become
Not so very social
Weapon of mass destruction
Is a more apt description
Of the impact on civilization

THE ORANGE FRAIDY CAT

 

On Jan 6 from the stage
The Odious Orange Outrage
Said to the assembled throng
“We’re going to walk” to the Capitol
“And I’ll be there with you”
Definitely implying he was going along
 
But follow me
Was not to be
Instead he went to the White House
And watched the insurrection
On TV

REPUBLICAN HO-HUM

 

The Chairman of the Joint Chiefs of Staff
Saw parallels between words
Of the Orange Outrage
And the rhetoric of Adolph Hitler
The leading autocrat on history’s stage
 
And Republicans go “Ho-hum
What’s the big deal?
So the Hoax’s a fascist
Maybe democracy needs repeal”

RIGHT TO INFECT YOUR NEIGHBOR

 

New covid cases are roaring
The numbers are on an upward trend
But the Fox News scientists say
It’s time for vaccinations to end
 
Every American has the right
To infect his or her neighbor
The whole point of the American Revolution
Was legalizing misbehavior

CRITICAL VOTING THEORY

 

Joe Biden has come forth
With a major defense for
The nation’s neutral election system
Many Republicans want out the door
 
Republicans want state legislatures
To have the power to negate
Local election results if they
Don’t meet the Republican mandate
 
Unless you are of
The proper political persuasion
Republicans prefer you not vote
The heck with the Constitution
 
That’s called Critical Voting Theory
And is currently being taught
In Republican school districts
Which discourage independent thought

THE UNAMERICAN PARTY

 

Rarely in the nation’s history
Has a political party
Been so hostile to non-followers
As today’s GOP
 
The party has morphed
From political organization to cult
Its politicians have abandoned principles
To follow the Orange Hoax’s strut
(Or to be more crude
To kiss the Orange Hoax’s butt)

WHERE’S THE RATIONAL MIDDLE?

 

For most, not all, of American history

A rational middle has existed

There have been dingbats on the left
Weirdos on the right
Weirdos on the left
Dingbats on the right
But usually the rational middle persisted
 
Has the nation’s luck run out?
Have dingbats and weirdos become the majority?
Let’s hope not
The rational middle now seems weak
But maybe it’s just temporary

VACCINATION SKEPTICS

 

Some folks don’t want
A covid vaccination
They say it’s a matter of personal freedom
Which they’re proving by obstination
 
But the vast majority of covid deaths
Are now among those without a vaccination
So the ultimate result might be
A reduction in the number
Of those prone to obstination

REPUBLICAN PARTY PRINCIPLES

 

What are the guiding principles
Of the Orange Hoax-era Republican Party?
Please stop, I’m laughing so hard
I need to go to the potty
 
No principles for these bozos
Other than autocratic rule
Stay out of their way
They tend to drool

TEXAS VOTER QUALIFICATIONS

 

Republican politicians in Texas
Are trying to limit voting
The goals seem to include qualifications
Some might find revolting
 
1. Be Texas born
2. Be no darker than light brown
3. Be Republican
4. Be a big-hatted clown

ORANGE HOAX SUES (THAT’S NEWS?)

 

The Orange Hoax is suing
Facebook, YouTube, Twitter
He wants back on social media
To spread his verbal litter
 
Maybe he wants to discuss
His admiration for Adolph
Which John Kelly tried to discourage
But was rebuffed

CAPITOL TOUR

 

More video is surfacing
Of the Jan 6 Capitol tour
What a well-behaved group
That wandered in the door
 
Republican politicians should be proud
Of their constituents
Who enthusiastically participated
In many and varied incidents
 
Yes, a few got over-exuberant
But they can be forgiven
They were just excited about
Helping the Orange Hoax with sedition

PARTY OF WEIRDOS

 

Once upon a time
The political party for weirdos
Was the Democratic
Times have certainly changed
You can’t get more weirdly frantic
Than Paul Gosar, Mo Brooks, Lauren Boebert
Ron Johnson, Ted Cruz, Matt Gaetz
Andrew Clyde, Marjorie Greene, Louie Gohmert
Not to mention Mitch and Kevin
The leaders of a party
That’s not likely going to heaven

ORANGE HOAX IS GUILTY

 

Who killed Ashli Babbit?
The Orange Hoax wants to know
Well, look in the mirror Hoax
You started the show
 
That was your mob
Who charged the U.S. Congress
You were the one who
Motivated the insurrectionists
 
Republicans need to acknowledge
That their President was a failure
Except for his effort
To instigate misbehavior

JULY 4TH

 

July 4th, Independence Day
In 1826 on this day
Two Founding Fathers
Thomas Jefferson and James Adams
Both passed away
 

(A quirky fact from an upcoming book, “The Presidents in Quirky Illustrated Verse,” by Cranky and Phil McKenney)

GOOD LUCK, AFGHANISTAN

 Well, Afghanistan
We gave it a shot
Sorry it didn’t work out
But twenty years was a lot
 
One theory about
What went wrong
Is to win a war
You gotta bigtime pile on
 
We nickeled and dimed
Which was great for preventing defeat
But for winning the thing
was not so neat 

WITCH HUNT

 

Is a trial really necessary?
The Orange Hoax has
For a long time
Implied with a wink
That his taxes were fine
 
Proving otherwise
Shouldn’t take much
Maybe just a day
If you don’t break for lunch

Kristi Noem’s Militia

 

Kristi Noem
The Republican (of course) Governor
Of South Dakota
Seems to think the state’s National Guard
Is her own personal militia
 
She sent the Guard to Texas
To do some dirty work
Where to next?
Maybe the Capitol in DC
To reinstate the Orange Jerk

HOT

The heat is here

Hotter than hell

Makes you wanna

Ring the emergency bell 

Is it global warming?

Or maybe just summer

Whatever it is

It’s a real bummer

SMACKDOWN FOR MARJORIE

 

Marjorie Taylor Greene said
AOC is a “little communist”
AOC replied
“I’m taller than her”
AOC could have added
“And also I’m not a little fascist”

THE HOAX IS BACK

 

The Orange Hoax is back
He held a “rally” in Ohio
And he was as usual
An unrestrained bozo
 
Complaining, whining, attacking, lying
Back in the action
Showing no humility
Just sucking up adulation

UFOs AND THE ELECTION

 

Critics of the 2020 election
Are missing an obvious possibility
A Government report has described
Unidentified aerial phenomena
So UFOs could very well be
A reality
 
Indeed if you look closely
At the vote audit in Arizona
You might catch glimpses
Of little dark specks
Bouncing about the premises
 
So maybe an alien civilization
Hijacked the election
Installing an Administration
Favorable to alien domination
 
On the other hand
If aliens are about
Who more resembles one
Than the Odious Orange Lout?

WHAT RIGHT TO VOTE?

 

The Department of Justice
Goes after Georgia
For voter restrictions that may
Violate Constitutional order
 
The Republican Party
Is morphing into
The Democratic Party
Of a century ago
That Jim Crow drew
 
Turning back the clock
Is what many Republicans want
To a time when
Racial differences were paramount