PRESIDENTIAL EMOLUMENTS

The Odious Orange Carnage
Wanted some top secret documents
He probably figured they were
Just more presidential emoluments
 
Surprise, surprise
Such documents belong to the nation
Not to a narcissistic loser
Particularly one prone to prevarication

MAGA BOY LINDSEY

 

Senator Lindsey Graham
Is becoming quite the radical
He talks of riots in the streets
With a yearning that’s almost palatable
 
He’s morphed into hero worshipping
The Odious Orange Outrage
He defends the MAGA way
From many a stage

JARED WRITES A BOOK

 

Jared Kushner has written
His White House memoir
The hero is Jared Kushner
The villains are anyone
He views as a loser
 
Jared doesn’t touch much upon
Has father-in-law’s insurrection
After all at the time Jared was
Solving the Middle East situation

MAGA

 

Make America Great Again
That’s what it’s all about
At least to those believers who
For the Orange Hoax clap and shout
 
But to many Americans
MAGA is a contradiction
They ascribe any lack of greatness
To Orange Hoax affliction

WANTED: SALACIOUS AND NASTY

 

The Orange Hoax’s post-presidency
Began with the topic
Of a stolen election
And the discussion was chaotic
 
Now the major interest
Is document misappropriation
About which most people
Lack a knowledge foundation
 
So what’s next
In the Hoax’s post-presidency?
Let’s hope it involves something
Salacious and nasty

BUREAUCRATIC RUSE

 

So what was learned
From the redacted affidavit?
That the Orange Hoax pretty much views
The whole concept of document classification
As a bureaucratic ruse
 
Just one more thing that stifled
His great presidency
The deep state was against him
And treated him disrespectfully

REDACTIONS

Deep in the bowels
Of the DOJ
A young attorney
Is slaving away
 
Her task is to
Finalize the redactions
Of DOJ’s affidavit
To search the Hoax’s habitations
 
Her boss laid it on the line
You blow this chore
And your career is pretty much
Out the door
 
Should she redact “ketchup”?
How about “prevarication”?
“Tiny hands” needs to go
And most certainly “insurrection”

UKRAINIAN INDEPENDENCE DAY

 

Vladimir celebrated
Ukrainian Independence Day
By slaughtering civilians
That’s the Russian way
 
He’s looking for a place in history
Somewhere between
Ivan the Terrible
And Stalin the Killing Machine

KING DONALD THE GREAT

 

What’s this Special Master thing
All about, anyway?
Just getting the Orange Hoax
On the front page another day?
 
He definitely is the world’s
Foremost narcissist
He calls himself a Republican
But a better term would be royalist
 
King Donald the Great
Is the title he’s striving for
He so very much wants to re-enter
The 1600 Penn Avenue door

FINNISH PRIME MINISTER

 

What America needs
Is a Finnish Prime Minister
A young woman who
Parties like a winner
 
Sure beats our
Elderly wobbling males
Many of whom carry
Far too much blubber
And can only party
Seated in a recliner

LAW AND ORDER

 

The law and order party
No longer likes the FBI
Marjorie Taylor Greene
Would tell the FBI bye-bye
 
The FBI
Committed a no-no
It served a search warrant
On the Odious Orange Bozo

HAD YOUR CRUDITE TODAY?

 

Have you had your crudité today?
Doc Oz wants to know
You don’t know crudité?
Then obviously you haven’t dined
At Mar-a-Lago
Where Big Macs and crudité
Are number one on the runway

RUSSIAN ROULETTE

 

Putin is playing Russian Roulette
With a Ukrainian nuclear facility
It’s how Vladimir the Vicious
Practices diplomacy
 
What’s the worst that could happen?
Only a nuclear disaster
No big thing if your humanity
Resembles that of a hamster

STOP TEACHING KIDS TO READ

 

Activist parents are in a dither
To keep their kids
From thought-provoking stuff
They want to treat
School libraries pretty rough
 
Why not go
To the source of the problem?
Kids wouldn’t be exposed
To disturbing literature
If the teaching of reading
Was brought to closure

LIZ CHENEY FOR PRESIDENT

 

The gun-toting, Orange Hoax-worshiping
Republicans of Wyoming
Rejected Liz Cheney
Showing they’re completely looney
 
Liz should be
The next American President
But how that would come about
Is not evident
 
Being the nominee of
A traditional political party
Is possible but not likely
And the third party approach
Is only a remote possibility
 
Maybe a bit too conservative
For many American voters
But Liz has in abundance
One specialty
Sorely lacking in these times
And that is integrity

PEAK AND VALLEY

 

The flow of history
Is a repetitive peak and valley
Where is the Orange Hoax?
In a subterranean alley

PASSPORTS BYE BYE

 

The Odious Orange Carnage now claims
The Feds took his passports
If that is true, Feds
Please return them promptly
Let the Hoax fly away
Vladimir could use some company

SOMEBODY ALWAYS AGAINST SOMETHING

 

The 1960s had revolutionaries
Preaching violence and chaos
To bring down the establishment
And produce an egalitarian paradise
 
The 2020s have revolutionaries
Preaching violence and chaos
To eliminate egalitarianism
And establish an autocratic paradise

BURIED AT BEDMINSTER

 

An ex-wife
Top secret documents
Republican integrity
A half-eaten Big Mac
Hillary’s emails
Belief in democracy
Don junior’s manhood
A nation’s pride
The Hoax’s legacy

ESPIONAGE ACT

 

Another first for the Odious Orange Carnage
The first President who possibly
Violated the Espionage Act
How you gonna rationalize this
Rubio, Cruz, and the rest of your pack?
 
All you Orange Hoax defenders
Does this change anyone’s mind
Or are you still convinced
The Hoax is just fine?

REMEMBER HILLARY’S EMAILS?

 

Remember Hillary and her emails?
She was guilty of maybe incompetence and stupidity
The Orange Hoax and his documents?
His guilt might run the gamut from unauthorized document possession to even larceny
 
And the really damaging thing is
He doesn’t even read
So a likely motivation involved a sale
In other words, greed

BACK IN THE LIMELIGHT

 

The Odious Orange Carnage
Is happy as a clam
He’s back to number one news item
And no longer just social media spam
 
And Republican politicians
Are falling all over themselves
Defending him with exaggerated
Narratives and superlatives

SHREDDING MACHINE REPLACEMENT

 

No shredding machine
For the Orange Carnage
To dispose of important documents
He found a new usage
For the porcelain receptacle
Where he deposits his poopage

SEARCH WARRANT MAR-A-LAGO

 

The first President impeached twice
The first President to attempt a coup
The first President to foment an insurrection
And now the first ex-President
Possibly the target of a criminal investigation
 
“They even broke into my safe”
Said the Odious Orange Outrage
But did they check his porcelain receptacles
Where he’s filed many a page?

GOP LOSS OF MORALITY

 

A new book (Dana Milbank) traces
Much of the GOP’s loss of morality
To the 1990s and Newt Gingrich
Who said the party needed more nasty
 
Newt didn’t want to be
A nice compromising guy
He preferred politics
That involved a punch in the eye
 
It’s definitely a compelling narrative
And would explain much of the polarization
Over the last several decades
Culminating in the Orange Hoax’s devastation
 
The Party of Lincoln, Teddy Roosevelt
And the Gipper
Has certainly become a party of
No conscience and no moral trigger

ALEX JONES

 

The most disturbing thing
About the Alex Jones saga
Is not that he’s a whack job
But that his followers are an armada
 
The lowest common denominator
Of American society
Turns out to be quite sizable
Very gullible and easily excitable
 
The spark can be quickly lit
By an Alex Jones or an Orange Carnage
And once the action begins
No telling the extent of the wreckage

COWARDLY BULLY

 

Former Republican VP Dick Cheney
Did not equivocate
The Orange Carnage is a coward
And to Dick there's no debate
 
Dick could have also noted
That the Carnage is a bully
Which makes him a cowardly bully
Maybe the first such President
In the nation’s history

SENATOR HAWLEY GOES ROGUE

 

The lone Senate vote against
Finland and Sweden joining NATO
Was Senator Josh Hawley
The Missouri Republican whacko
 
Anything for attention
Might be his motivation
Or maybe he’s trying to distract
From memories of his conduct
During the insurrection
 
Meanwhile, Arizona Republicans
In their statewide primary
Selected election deniers
Up and down the ballot
Maybe hostility to democracy?

PAST GLORIES

 

Nancy has departed Taiwan
But China’s Xi is still hopping mad
His goal is the island
And he wants it really bad
 
Just as Vladimir sees Ukraine
As historically Russian
Xi see Taiwan
As China’s historical possession
 
These anti-democratic allies
Are focused on long-held grievances
They want to turn back the clock
Heck with the consequences

RAND LEERY OF VETS

 

Senator Rand Paul is
A bit leery of vets
Apparently thinks they fib a lot
To get medical benefits
 
Burn pits in a war zone?
So they were there
Just gives you asthma
Which you can get anywhere
 
Fortunately for the nation
Rand has access to
Very good health care
But it apparently doesn’t include
Mental deficiencies repair

WHEELS OF JUSTICE NEED OIL

 

The wheels of justice turn slowly
Too slowly in the case of the Orange Hoax
As interminable investigations meander
He just gloats