IMPEACHMENT PREPARATION

The House impeachment crew

Is giving the Odious Orange Outrage

Deadlines for preparing

For his time on the stage

But the Orange One doesn't

Like to be ordered around

So his middle finger might be

A way to stand his ground

In any event

It’s better than even money

That any preparation give and take

Won’t be very chummy

On another topic, a lesson

From the London terrorist attack

Is always have your narwhal tusk

Ready for a whack

TALIBAN SAYS “HUH?”

The Odious Orange Outrage said

Talks with the Taliban are resuming

Only he forgot to tell them

About the resumption

He probably couldn’t be present anyway

As he’ll undoubtedly be attending

In response to an engraved invitation

The Democrats' impeachment hearing

But he certainly was brave

To fly into a war zone

While in significant pain

From the spurs on his heel bone

GIVING THANKS

Let’s pause a moment and give thanks

For a blessing in disguise

Even though he may cause

Our national demise

The Odious Orange Outrage

Has given us lots of laughs

Has kept us from contemplating

The serious problems we’d rather not grasp

Such as escalating budget deficits

Human-caused climate change

A gun-culture run amuck

A Republican party in negative rearrange

The rise of the alt-right

The insolvable Middle East

The negative impacts of social media

The illusion of achievable peace

Oh, what the hell

Give this old guy a drink

Might as well get soused

Since we’re on the brink

IMPEACHMENT CONFUSION

Confused by the Odious Orange Outrage’s

Quid pro quo timeline

Who said what when

Who did that then?

That is what the Orange One

Is seriously hoping for

A confused electorate gives

Republican allies a perfect door

To voting no on impeachment

And running up the score

And how about America’s mayor?

He’s in the center of this

Playing all sides against the middle

In absolute muddled-headed bliss

PARDONS

The turkey got pardoned

And the Odious Orange Outrage

Can hardly wait

To pardon his many cronies

Who have become jail bait

If the going gets really rough

He may even pardon himself

And leave the lawyers a mess

Debating the legality of his bequest

We are about to enter

A world with an elemental conflict

On one side is the rule of law

On the other a ham-fisted dim-wit

COMMANDER-IN-CHIEF, NOT

How does the military maintain

Good order and discipline

When the commander-in-chief

Is a chaotic simpleton?

We’ve all had bad bosses

At one time or another

But few have had as bad a boss

As the loon with the orange feather

His communication skills are limited

To inciting the lowest common denominator

To getting them worked up

To feeding their irrational anger

On matters of policy and substance

He really has no clue

All he wants to know

Is when the payoff is due

OBESITY EXAM?

Blubber Butt has a problem

He’s officially obese

Had an emergency visit to Walter Reed

Sent home to convalesce

Claims the visit was

Just a routine thing

Right, like his first two marriages

Were no more than a fling

Of course he’s lying as usual

We can’t believe his statements

He hasn’t told a truth

Since early adolescence

CONVERTING LIES TO FACTS

If you tell a lie enough

It’s no longer a lie

It becomes a fact

As real as apple pie

That’s the Odious Orange Outrage’s theory

What’s difficult to understand

Is the extent the theory actually describes

Behavior in parts of the land

Are people really that gullible

Anti-establishment and malleable

That they just need repetition

To accept an obviously false position?

REPUBLICAN SOLIDARITY

The Odious Orange Outrage

Says his Republican support

Is absolutely fantastic

To which there is little retort

For once the Orange One

Might not be out the door

Republican voices of criticism

Are few, that’s for sure

Do the kowtowing Republicans

Represent a majority of Americans?

Let’s hope that’s not the case

Else our nation is in

A really, really rough place

REPUBLICAN QUANDRY

By now it’s well established

Even for the most obtuse

That the Odious Orange Outrage

Is a corrupt lying goose

But that’s not likely enough

For Republicans to pull the plug

And impeach a President

Who’s no better than a thug

Will Republicans continue to defend

The Orange One to the last man

Or will they acknowledge

As a President he’s a sham?

If impeachment doesn’t occur

Will Republicans support censure

Thus condemning conduct

That is un-American to the core?

JACKET FOR JIM

Congressman Jim Jordan

Needs to dress properly

To fulfill his duties

On the impeachment jalopy

Jim should have a jacket

That fits his personality

Which is loud and obnoxious

And rejecting reality

So below is a possibility

A refugee from the Sixties

When men wore silly stuff

That made them look like pixies

MUDDYING THE WATERS

Republicans and Fox News

Are trying to muddy the waters

They want to obscure

The actions of corrupt otters

Otters are devious creatures

Slippery and pernicious

They revel in actions

That are sometimes quite vicious

The Republican Party has become

A party of corrupt otters

Seeking power and attention

At the expense of all others

With Nunes and Jordan

Leading the charge

They are subjecting truth

To a heavy barrage

INDECISIVE COMMANDER-IN-CHIEF

He’s gonna restrict vaping

Well, maybe not

He’s gonna control gun proliferation

Well, maybe not

He’s gonna do whatever

Well, maybe not

Wow, talk about indecisive!

The Odious Orange Outrage

Has flatlined the needle

Of the indecisiveness gage

The guy probably can’t even decide

Whether to brush teeth or hair

He just stares in the mirror

Scratching his underwear

Then his twitter feed rattles

And he leaps to the game

Using a hairbrush on his dentures

And a toothbrush on his mane

WHO’S THE WORST SECURITY RISK?

Remember Hillary’s email server

And all the grief she got?

Likely cost her the election

And gave the Orange One his shot

But in terms of lax security

In person, on the phone or Internet

The Odious Orange Outrage is about

As lax as you can get

A sensitive conversation with an Ambassador

Who’s in a Kiev café

And holding his phone up

As a conversation relay

Hard to get

Much more lax than that

Such a violation of security

Suggests a mind that’s behind a lap

Which might explain

Saturday’s trip to Walter Reed

Maybe not a physical ailment

But a mental tune-up need

THE RULE OF LAW, NOT

The Odious Orange Outrage

And his ambitious cronies

Vowed to clean the swamp

Of deep state toadies

But they neglected to tell us

Their “cleaning” methods entail

Questionable and unethical activities

Many beyond the legal pail

Indeed the “cleaning” methods

Are New York mobster style

Leaving in their wake

Symbolic bodies in a pile

The methods also involve

Alliances with foreign autocracies

Leaders and nations that don’t

Respect civilized niceties

ITCHING FOR ACTION

The Odious Orange Outrage

Wants to be part of the action

He can’t just watch

He feels like he’s in traction

Witness intimidation?

Yeah, why not

If it’s good for the mob

It’s good for a real estate big shot

One problem for the Orange One is

The action is accelerating

More witnesses are appearing

Negative stuff is multiplying

He’s racing hither and yon

One crisis to another

Trying to be a step ahead

Of the enveloping thunder

CONGRESSMAN JIM “NO JACKET” JORDAN

Congressman Jim Jordan

Is quite a fellow

A tie but no jacket

And he certainly can bellow

Commandeering the defense

Of the impeachment hearings

Attempting to make

The Dems lose their bearings

So far he’s just

A loud mouth buffoon

Coming across as

A comical goon

But that is what

The Odious Orange Outrage likes

A goon on his team

A fellow that bites

IMPEACHMENT DAY 1―WHO WON?

Who won Impeachment Day 1?

The Dems say, of course it was us

The Reps say, in your dreams, Gus

The audiences say, what time’s the bus?

Anyway, much more to come

But likely much more of the same

Absolute truth is unlikely

To be part of the game

A gotcha moment would be nice

But probably too much to hope for

At the end of many days

We’ll likely emit a collective snore

EXPOSING THE WHISTLEBLOWER

Republicans want to expose

The whistleblower person

Why is this the case?

There really is no reason

Other than chaos

Which they want to cause

To disrupt the proceedings

To make the nation pause

Anything to prevent

The nation’s first successful impeachment

And maybe save the Republican party

From ignominy and bereavement


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VETERANS DAY FOR THE ORANGE ONE

The Odious Orange Outrage

Hobbled to a Veterans parade

Despite his painful bone spurs

He accepted no aid

His courage and perseverance

Were an example to all

He survived more bankruptcies

Than he could recall

Law suits to the left of him

Law suits to the right

He fought them all

Sometimes staying up all night

Yes his service was grim

But his upper lip was stiff

And when he was done

Daddy had a monetary gift

SUNDAY FOR THE ORANGE OUTRAGE

What did the Odious Orange Outrage

Do for fun this Sunday?

Golf, twitter, tantrums

Or just hang with family and play?

It’s unlikely he opened a book

Or reviewed briefing papers

Went for a walk or talked

With national policy makers

He most likely did some mulling

About how to disrupt the hearings

Scheduled for this week

Examining his quid pro quoings

FINALLY, A FRIENDLY PLACE

The Odious Orange Outrage

Has trouble finding sports events

Where he is cheered

By the inhabitants

Finally he achieved

A modicum of success

At a football game in Alabama

Where the inhabitants were impressed

So at least one southern state

Is willing to forgive and forget

By welcoming a corrupt Yankee

Who happens to be President

PUBLIC HEARINGS, NOT FOR THE SQUEAMISH

Public impeachment hearings

Are scheduled to begin next week

Viewing them certainly

Won’t be for the weak

Republican participants

Such as aggressive aggravating Jim Jordan

Are sure to attempt

A major disruption

Maligning the process

Is really their only defense

Quid pro quo obviously occurred

Denying it is limited to the dense

Of course, dense is rampant

In the Republican Party

After all, it gave us

The densest President in history

STUPIDITY AS A LEGAL DEFENSE

The evidence continues to grow

A Ukrainian quid pro quo

Was definitely on the agenda

And ready to go

But Lindsey Graham mounted

A credible defense

The Trump White House

Is an incompetent mess

“Your honor, my client

Is not guilty

He’s too stupid

For criminality”

WHO SAID BEING A SENATOR WAS EASY?

Senator Rand Paul

Is laying it on the line

Backing the Odious Orange Outrage

To the last dime

Senator Lindsey Graham

Is not far behind

Going right, going left

Trying to stay in line

Republicans defending the Orange Bozo

Are in a challenging situation

Hoping to stay a step ahead

Of a degenerating narration

SENATE REPUBLICANS

The Odious Orange Outrage’s

Days would be numbered

If the minds of Republican Senators

Were not partisanly encumbered

Beyond the nitpicking over “process”

The evidence of quid pro quo

Is as solid and as strong

As concrete cookie dough

But most Republican Senators

Have backbones of butter

And intellects of

A broken sampan rudder

They live in fear

Of disgruntling the “base”

And having His Orange Lordship

Descend on their case

ANOTHER WEEK FOR THE DRAMA QUEEN

So begins another week

Of the Odious Orange Outrage’s Presidency

When will it ever end

His White House residency?

He’s turned part of the Executive Branch

Into his own deep state

Peopled by individuals

Whose patriotism is second rate

They put him

Above the Constitution

Above the law

Above the nation

His desires and whims

Are their marching orders

For him they would drag the country

To hell’s very borders