WITCH-HUNTING WITH THE GIANT ORANGE PUMPKIN

Halloween

And in addition to trick or treating

The Giant Orange Pumpkin

Will be doing a bit of witch-hunting

He likes them witches

Particularly the Miss Universe kind

A little hanky panky

Is what he has in mind

After all, as President

He is entitled

To pursue his desires

At full throttle

QUID PRO QUO

In a Trump-supporting Republican’s mind

To have a quid pro quo

You must have used the exact term

Quid pro quo

Otherwise, demanding a favor

In return for a service or money

Is nothing more than

A bit of innocuous word honey

This impeachment thing

Has Republicans jumping through

Complex rhetorical hoops

Trying to avoid what is true

Their focus is on “process”

Which they assert is unfair

If you bring up substance

They just fiddle with their hair

Refusing to answer questions

Which they might summarily reject

As a reporter’s invalid conclusions

While they race for the nearest exit

LOCK HIM UP

“Lock him up”

Was chanted at the Orange Jerk

When at a World Series game

He was sitting in a luxury suite perk

But, if we believe

What his lawyers say

Presidents can’t be jailed

Even for a really bad day

Speaking of bad days

How about Laura Ingraham

And her Fox friends

Questioning the patriotism

Of an Army officer

And cackling like rowdy hens

ENEMIES

The Odious Orange Outrage

Needs enemies beaucoup

Friends are no fun

Might as well visit a zoo

Enemies make life exciting

Attracting spectators and a high rating

Gets his blood pumping

More fun than dating

Particularly for an old coot

Way past his erotic prim

And he doesn’t even need

To spend a lousy dime

So media, Dems, bureaucrats

You make the Orange One’s day

He lives for your opposition

You make him wanna play

ORANGE ONE GETS HIS MAN

The Orange One got Baghdadi

Killed him with a bone spur

The one that kept the Orange One home

In a prior war

But instead of a mere announcement

The Orange One fabricated and strutted

And bragged about his nonexistence foresight

And all the heads he had butted

He also profusely thanked Russia

Thus paying homage to his mentor

President Vladimir Putin

Who was the Orange One’s elector

IMPEACHMENT OR VOTING HIM OUT?

Impeachment or voting him out

Which course would be preferable

For ridding ourselves of a

Most annoying spectacle?

A successful impeachment

Would be very satisfying

As it would require

Senate Republicans cooperating

But voting the clown out

Would mean he failed in his mission

Of convincing the rabble

He was savior of the nation

But the worst scenario of all

Is that both alternatives flop

And America joins the ranks

Of nations that went pop

WHIPLASH LINDSEY

Lindsey Graham has whiplash

From rapidly jerking his neck

As he talks from both sides of his mouth

Trying to please the Orange Wreck

Colorado also wants a wall

Against Wyomingites

To keep out Liz Cheney

And her far right view that bites

But back to Little Lindsey

You gotta feel for the guy

He often looks like

He just wants to cry

NEVER A DULL MOMENT

Scum, treason, corruption

Words used liberally by the Orange One

To describe any dissenters

From his self-adulation

Courtesy of the Odious Orange Outrage

Colorado is getting a wall

Maybe to keep out illegals

Who want to play football

Or New Mexicans who

Only a few generations ago

Followed the Santa Fe Trail

In search of the perfect taco

At least Hillary’s email fiasco

Was due to ignorance and incompetence

The Republican invasion of the secure room

Was willful, criminal malfeasance

DO SOME REPUBLICANS SECRETLY WANT IMPEACHMENT?

If you are a

Really smart Republican

(Is that an oxymoron?)

You might be toying with

A subversive calculation

In 2020

If the Odious Orange Outrage

is the guy in charge

Your party just might

Sink like a leaky barge

But if he’s not there

You might have a chance

If you give someone like Romney

The opportunity to dance

So secretly you favor impeachment

But you gotta be careful

You don’t want to rouse the ire

Of the diehard Trumpian faithful

Playing such a game

Requires considerable guile

You want the Orange One gone

But you don’t want his followers’ bile

WORDS AND THE ORANGE OUTRAGE

He can certainly vomit words

At an amazing rate

But words by themselves

Don’t necessarily sense create

Words are just a means

To present argument, facts, policy

Rambling incoherently

Indicates mostly idiocy

The Odious Orange Outrage

Has an extraordinary ability

To say practically nothing

While flapping his lips incessantly

Beautiful, perfect, best

Are among words he throws around

Grossly distorting their meaning

Rendering him a clown

PHONY EMOLUMENTS CLAUSE

The Odious Orange Outrage

Mocks the Constitution

Calling the Emoluments Clause “phony”

Evidently a figure of the imagination

So much for defending the Constitution

Against all enemies foreign and domestic

Without any enumerated exception

Our President apparently thinks

He can pick and choose

Provisions of the Constitution

He’s allowed to abuse

DARN

The next G-7 Summit

Was shaping up as a hoot

With the Odious Orange Outrage

Making off with the loot

But darn it all

The Orange One backed down

Depriving us of entertainment

At the expense of a Florida town

Watching a herd of diplomats

Having a Trumpian blast

At Trump National Doral

Would have been a gas

Instead they’re probably headed for

A Maryland “resort” not far away

With skeeters, biting flies, snakes

And MacDonald’s three meals a day

ADVICE FOR HILLARY

Hillary, shut up

You had your moment

In the sun

The moment’s passed

Now you’re done

Your views on

The 2020 election

Are about as useful

As a belly button inspection

Your failures regarding

Basic email security

Resulted in

The Orange One’s presidency

So please keep your views

To yourself

We’ve had enough

Clintonian stuff

HEY MICK, HOW’S IT GOIN’?

Mick Mulvaney

Is a good little fella

And you certainly can’t accuse him

Of being yella

He entered a room

Of ravenous rapacious reporters

And took them on

Holding no quarters

But sadly he got

His clock cleaned nicely

His mistake was words

Used too precisely

He didn’t exactly say

No quid pro quo

But he just about said

It was so

CIVILIZATION IS VERY HAPPY

Civilization is very happy

So says the Odious Orange Outrage

What it’s got to be happy about

Is perhaps on the world’s next page

Or maybe Mick Mulvaney

Will enlighten us all

He certainly was enlightening

About the quid pro quo kerfuffle

Mick also instructed us

To "get over it”

“It” apparently being the corruption

That around the Orange One is thick

Don’t hold your breath

Waiting for Mick’s next presser

Once before the mikes

Was enough of a disaster

DECISION OR FACTS, WHICH COMES FIRST?

Decision-making 101

Says acquire the facts first

Then make a decision

Not the reverse

But decision before facts

Was how Mike Pompeo

Described the Odious One’s decision-making

A process resembling a yo-yo

That explains a lot

About the gross incompetency

The Odious Orange Outrage

Constantly has on display

Or maybe it’s just how

Someone without a weakness

Proves he truly is

A brilliant stable genius

LEV AND IGOR

Lev and Igor

Quite a comedy pair

Who would’a thought

They could con America’s Mayor

Actually, he forfeited

That particular title

When he undertook diplomacy

For the corrupt Donald

But back to Lev and Igor

They funneled some serious money

To the Orange Outrage’s campaign

Which Rudy thought was really funny

So he brought them aboard

His freelance diplomacy operation

Not realizing they were likely

A part of Putin’s organization

And now it’s the United States

Versus Lev and Igor

In the Southern District of New York

Where Rudy use to roar

MIDDLE EAST GOAL

The Odious Orange Outrage’s

Main goal in the Middle East?

Maybe putting his buddy Putin

In charge of the place

And strengthen all the autocrats

So maybe they will grant him

Access to the locker room

At the Nasty Evil Men Gym

And the innocent little people

Caught in the middle?

The Odious Orange One says

It’s their problem for being little

STAIN ON THE NATION

The Odious Orange Outrage

Makes a helluva ally

Just ask the Kurds

As they die

He and Treasury Secretary Munchkin

Have the matter in hand

They’re gonna impose sanctions

Well, strike up the band

Sounds like another event

Warranting a parade

Where the Orange One hands out

Lots of Gatorade

He did not seek input

From his national security advisory team

Before throwing the Kurds

Under the falling beam

Thanks to the stable genius

The nation now has a stain

On its honor

That will long remain

MIKE POMPEO, MAN WITHOUT A SPINE

First in his class at West Point

Harvard Law and quite a scholar

Successful in business and Congress

With a backbone of water

Has it been worth it, Mike Pompeo

To sell your very soul

For a high position

With the incompetent troll?

And you other toadies

Fawning over the goon

Who most of us hope

Will be gone real soon

We certainly are experiencing

A low point in American history

Under a President who

Is a living breathing conspiracy

DEFICIT SPENDING FOR EVERYBODY

Dems were once the party

Of unrestrained spending

The Trumpian Republican Party

Is now participating

But it didn’t start with Trump

The Bush-Cheney tax cuts

Of two thousand one and three

Were fiscal irresponsibility

To the nth degree

Republicans love tax cuts

But they don’t have the spine

To make parallel reductions in spending

By little more than a thin dime

The ultimate responsibility, however

Lies with us citizens

We tolerate increasing the national debt

By both parties’ politicians

THE KURDS AND NORMANDY

The Kurds weren’t there

For us at Normandy

Private Ryan and Tom Hanks both said

“No Kurds do we see”

The Odious Orange Outrage

Also wasn’t there

Nor in Vietnam

Because his bone spurs needed repair

The Odious Orange Outrage’s

Grasp of history

Suggests considerable navel-gazing

And very little study

Other peoples also

Weren’t at Normandy

The Japanese for example

But now Japan is our buddy

IMPEACHMENT PARTICIPATION DECLINED

The Odious Orange Outrage

Is not participating

In his impeachment

Investigation

So stuff it Founding Fathers

I don’t have a flaw

That Constitution of yours

Is somebody else’s law

It doesn’t pertain to me

I’m a reality TV star

I’m also a stable genius

Who only knows winning

If you think you can get me

Your wheels are just spinning

DAN AND DON

Who’s the worst

Washington leader

Little Daniel Snyder

Or the Odious Orange Ogre?

Neither is having

A winning season

Neither selects staff

Based on qualification

Both rely on

Sycophantic bozos

But at least Little Danny

Is not a moral zero

Nor is he dragging

The nation into an abyss

Just a football team

Who many won’t miss

PASTY MIKE PENCE

Pasty Mike Pence

Is waiting in the wings

Waiting for the Orange Ogre

To go down in flames

But the Ogre

Is putting up a fight

Thus stymying the Dems

Who are trying to shine a light

On his corruption and lies

His lack of judgement and integrity

His general incompetency

His gross stupidity

The Dems are playing by the rules

The Orange Ogre is not

He just wants

To run out the clock

Which he just might do unless

The judicial system gets off its duff

And tells the Orange Ogre

Enough is enough