DOES TUCKER HAVE A PROBLEM?

 

(Parental Guidance Advised)
 
Tucker is apparently having trouble
Getting his whatchamacallit to function
So he’s searching for culprits
To blame for his frustration
 
As a Fox persona
He’s naturally looking at the political
For the source of his difficulty
In getting his waggle to wiggle
 
He thinks it’s the Dems fault
That his testosterone is way down
But it might just be
Because he’s a right-wing clown

SAYONARA MASK MANDATES

 

So if masks
Are no longer required
Covid must be done
And Doctor Fauci
Has retired
 
Or maybe whoever is in charge
(By the way, who is in charge?)
Decided enough is enough
And if people keep getting covid
That’s just tough

MATH TEXTBOOKS ARE EVIL

 

Florida has found
Too much sexual suggestiveness
And critical race theory
In multiple math textbooks
Which is disturbing most certainly
 
So two plus two
Not only equals four
It also opens
Some forbidden racial door
 
And A squared
Plus B squared
Equals the hypotenuse squared
Is obviously an invitation
To engage in sex unimpaired

FUTURE OF CIVILIZATION

The future of civilization
Depends on whether
Billionaire Elon Musk
Acquires control of Twitter
 
At least that’s his view
Some may retort
That civilization’s future
Is a bit more complicated
And maybe depends on
Fewer of Elon’s egotistical sort

THE BEAR GOES FOR BODY COUNT

 

Thought the Bear
Was a slaughtering fool before?
Now that a ship’s been sunk
He’ll be slaughtering many many more
 
It’s the Russian way of war
Winning is not enough
The Bear wants civilians
Particularly women and children
To experience pain and horrible stuff
 
Hitler, Stalin and that crowd
Thought along such lines
Morality and mercy are for losers
A high body count
Determines history’s winners

IS THE BEAR A COWARD?

 

The Bear is hold up
In his den of evil
Wondering why his atrocities
Haven’t cowed the Ukrainian people
 
A display of personal courage
Is not evident
Perhaps he doesn’t have time
What with being a bit petulant

THERE WAS ELECTION FRAUD

 

The Orange Hoax is correct
There was fraud in the election
His Chief of Staff
Had a questionable voter registration
 
Mark Randall Meadows
Once a freedom caucus member
Fibbed about a home in a trailer
On a mountain in North Carolina
 
But hey
It was towards an admirable goal
Which was supporting the Hoax
In his anti-democracy stroll

RUSSIAN STRATEGY OF WAR

 

The Russian strategy of war
Is kill, maim, destroy
Then sit back
Sip a vodka
And enjoy
 
No nuance allowed
No restraint permitted
No mercy displayed
No empathy suggested
No humanity portrayed
No rules obeyed

DEMISE OF THE NEWS CYCLE

 

NYC subway attack
Ukraine awaiting the Bear
China succumbing to covid (again)
What else is there?
 
The news cycle no longer
Rises and falls
It is more like a tidal wave
Creeping ever higher up the walls

BIDEN’S ECONOMIC RECORD

 

Republicans have found ways
To diss Biden’s successful economic recovery
They ignore some good stats
Lie about others
And change the subject quickly

NEW WORLD ORDER?

 

So when this Ukraine thing is over
Assuming the planet is not
A smoldering non-livable cinder
Where do we end up
What is the new world order?

DISSING

 

To show the Republican fringe
They were sufficiently bigoted
Lindsey Graham and Rand Paul
Dissed Ketanji Brown Jackson
By pretending to be uninterested
When her confirmation vote was conducted

WAITING ON VLADIMIR

 

The wait is on
For the Russkies to find their groove
Where and when
Will they make their next move?
 
They’ll likely be coming
From the east
And they won’t be coming
In the name of peace
 
Peace is antithetical
To Vladimir the goon
Violence is what
Brings him joy
And makes him swoon

REPUBLICANS LOSE PORN TARGET

 

Still fuming about pornography
Most Senate Republicans
Gave Ketanji Brown Jackson
A thumbs down
not wanting her
In a Supreme Court gown
 
So now they’re on the lookout
For another to whom they can tie
A decadent sex discussion
And accuracy and appropriateness
Are not a consideration

REPUBLICAN CAUCUS MANIA

 

Republicans have long had
The freedom caucus
That can create
Quite a ruckus
 
Now they are developing
A brand new group
The insurgency caucus
Intent on throwing
Democracy for a loop

I THINK NOT

 

Congresswoman Lauren Boebert
Hit the nail on the head
“I think not”
Was what she said
 
It was in a tweet
About “Micky” Mouse and Disney
(It’s “Mickey” Lauren)
Disney being the latest target
Of Guv Ron DeSantis’ anti-democracy
Rabid hyperactivity

RUSSIAN WAY OF WAR

 

Russians have a reputation
For brutality in war
They’re living up to the rep
In Ukraine, for sure
 
No Geneva conventions
For Putin and his pals
Such documents to them
Are little more than paper towels

POOR COACH K

 

Poor Coach K
Your season ended prematurely
When the Tar Heels from next door
Decided the rest home was ready
And sent you on your way
Exuberantly
 
Ok, Heels
The burden’s now on you
Show those Kansas Jayhawks
What the ACC can do

GO GET’EM SARAH!

 

Sarah Palin is running for Congress
That’s definitely a go
She, Greene, and Boebert
Would be quite a Republican trio
 
Oh, please
Let this come about
It would take my mind
Off my gout

EMBARASSMENT TO THE PARTY

 

Embarrassment to the Party
Is what some Republicans are saying
About Madison Cawthorn
And his adolescent braying
 
Talking about embarrassment
To the Republican Party
How about Cruz, Greene, Hawley
Boebert, Gaetz, Gosar, McCarthy
Johnson, Graham, and the Orange Folly?