DOW JONES SPEAKS

 

The Dow Jones stock market barometer
Jumped more than 500 points Friday
Maybe Wall Street euphoria over an event
That occurred on Thursday?
 
What’s the Orange Huckster offering
That appeals to so many Americans?
He’s offering a way
To poke The Man in the eye
And thus have a great day
 
A similar motivation
Led to the War Between the States
The South wanted to stick its finger
Into the Union’s eye
And for this more than 600,000 Americans
Had to die

GUILTY!!!

 

Guilty on the first count
And then on counts 2,3,4
5 through 14
15 through 24
25 through 34
There weren’t any more?
 
A jury of his peers
Found the Orange Huckster guilty
On 34 felony counts
Involving business records created falsely
 
So, is this thing over?
Not even close
Motions and appeals galore
Will keep the justice system busy
Until Justices Alito, Thomas, and company
Bring an end to the misery

FALSE START

 

After weeks of testimony
And hours of argument and instruction
The jury decided it needed more of the same
Before serious deliberation
 
So Thursday some testimony and instruction
Will be restated to the jury
Will that be enough?
The nation awaits
Please, please hurry

SUMMARY JUDGEMENT FOR THE HUCKSTER?

 

In the Florida classified documents case
Judge Cannon quickly rejected
What the prosecution requested
Which was a sufficient gag order
To keep silent the Orange Huckster
 
This is the only action Judge Cannon
Incidentally a Huckster appointee
Has done quickly
Which suggests she might
Be laying the foundation
For a quick end-the-proceedings ruling
Before any jury deliberation

LIBERTARIANS BOO WANNABE DICTATOR

 

The Orange Huckster sought support
At the Libertarian Convention
Instead, the Dictator for a Day
Received a loud raucous rejection
 
Maybe he thought Libertarians
Were a little like fascists
Craving a father figure
And accepting of racists
 
That might describe some
Among the Libertarian crew
But others are anti-authoritarian
And reject being told what to do

A SALUTE

 

The conflicts have been many
Some big enough to be called a war
Like WWII
Some more appropriately characterized
As hostile actions or conflicts
Like Grenada in ‘83
In between have been the Koreas,
The Iraqs, the Vietnams,
The Afghanistans
 
But the size is of little matter
To those who, in service to the country,
Gave the ultimate sacrifice
Here’s a salute to those who paid that price
And to each and every family

LEGAL WEEDS

 

Will the hush money trial
Get lost in the legal weeds?
Or will the jury cut through
The suffocating verbal vegetation
And find the Orange Huckster
Guilty of corrupt manipulation?
 
The week of decision
Begins Tuesday
First final arguments
And then the jury
Begins its journey

MEMORIAL DAY NOT THE HUCKSTER’S THING

 

Memorial Day is
The Orange Huckster’s least favorite holiday
In his mind it honors losers
Which is how he views
Those who died for their country
 
Remember when he was President
How he avoided
Visiting military cemeteries?
Instead he preferred parades
Where he was honored and applauded

FLAG FETISH

 

Supreme Court Justice Samuel Alito
Has a thing for flags
At least he’s not flying the hammer and sickle
Or using Old Glory for bags
 
Meanwhile,
The two sides are spending
The Memorial Day Holiday
Preparing closing arguments
In the hush money comedy play
Back in court Tuesday
To persuade the jury
Which verdict would be the right way

THE HUCKSTER TACKLES CONTRACEPTION

 

The Orange Huckster is visiting
The topic of contraception
Suggesting before backing away that
There might be a role for federal direction
 
Okay, Kids
We’re gonna get into an adult subject
So stop reading now
Go tackle a homework project
 
So, Huckster
Let’s get down and dirty
When you “did” Stormy Daniels
Was it a bareback penetration
Or were you using
Some item of protection?

SURPRISE!

 

The lily-livered Orange Huckster
Did not testify
So the defense declared, we rest
Which is probably for the best
If the Huckster had gone under oath
And tried to maintain his many fabrications
The resulting perjury charges
Could have increased exponentially
The extent of his criminality
And the likelihood of unpleasant ramifications

NO PERRY MASONS HERE

 

No Perry Masons
For the hush money trial
Just attorneys largely competent
But making occasional errors
With fabricating witnesses
And a corrupt defendant
 
As confused as the attorneys
Are the media talking heads
Much of their analysis
Being from never-ending panels
Of alleged experts
Pontificating in disconnected spurts

BACK TO HUSH MONEY

 

Michael Cohen back in court
After a weekend recuperating
Is he prepared for the onslaught
The Huckster’s attorneys have been preparing?
 
And will the Huckster testify?
Not very likely
That would take a person
Of truth and courage
Not the thing for a fabricator
Residing in a bottomless pit of rage

CONGRESSIONAL CATFIGHT

 

Marjorie Taylor Greene instigated
Quite a catfight
Roping in three other females
To their male colleagues’ delight
 
The words flew fast and furious
“false eyelashes”
“are you feeling hurt?”
“baby girl, don’t even play”
“Oh really, baby girl”
“it’s not cute”
For their male peers
It was a hoot
 
Worse than those males’ own antics?
No, not really
More entertaining perhaps
But both equally silly
And distressing to those taxpayers
Who think governing should be taken seriously

NO BIAS ON THIS COURT

 

Justice Alito wanted
To “stop the steal”
At least that’s one way to interpret
The upside-down American flag he flew
After the 2000 election
Was a legally done deal
 
Meanwhile,
Marjorie Taylor Greene
Is back in action
Disrupting a House hearing
With a meaningless distraction

NOT MICHAEL’S BEST DAY

 

Not the best day
For Michael Cohen
Memory got fuzzy
Responses came haltingly
 
He’s got a three-day weekend
To get his act together
Perhaps he’ll do better Monday
Or perhaps he’ll succumb to the pressure
 
Meanwhile,
The Huckster’s toadies
Keep making appearances
On Thursday Matt Gaetz, Lauren Boebert
And Bob Good were among those
Making gag-order questionable utterances

DEBATE, YES

 

Joe and the Orange Huckster
Are gonna debate
As entertainment
This should be first rate
 
One small problem, though
If the Huckster is convicted
In the hush money case
And receives time in the slammer
Should he be paroled
To participate in the debate endeavor?

PUPPETS FOR THE HUCKSTER

 

On first day of cross-examination
Michael Cohen held together fairly well
Can he continue to do so Thursday
Until the final bell?
 
Orange Huckster surrogates
Are spouting the Huckster’s gibberish
Often parroting his own words closely
Indeed they’re in such sync with the Huckster
That they resemble puppets quite literally

WILL MELANIA SHOW SUPPORT?

 

First day of Michael Cohen’s testimony
Had some pretty damning stuff
But he has cross-examination coming
That could be rough
 
The Orange Huckster brought an entourage
That included Tommy Tuberville
Senator from Alabama
The New York jurors probably wondered
Who’s the goober and where is Melania?

WILL THEY SHAKE HANDS?

 

The Cohen-Huckster show
Is about to begin
Will Michael offer the Huckster his hand
On the way in?
 
A little drama would be nice
To get things underway
And a bit of comedy
Before they begin serious play

WHICH PRESIDENT WAS PORN-STAR-SPANKED?

 

Spanked by a porn star
Wielding a magazine with his picture
The porn star resembling Ivanka his daughter
The Spankee being the Orange Huckster
 
Only in America
Could a clearly unhinged sleazeball
Become the President
Of one and all

SLEEP WELL

 

Sleep well, Orange Toad
You have the weekend to contemplate
Monday’s expected court testimony
By your formerly flunky Michael Cohen
Too bad that gag order
Puts limits on your expressions of acrimony
 
Meanwhile,
Conservative political organizations
Are making extensive plans
For a second coming of the Huckster
Getting him ready to hit the ground running
Investigating means to curtail democracy
And to establish a proper autocracy

NOT SEEING EYE TO EYE

 

Joe and Bibi’s relationship
Is deteriorating significantly
Bibi’s pursuing all-out war
Joe thinks that’s a calamity
 
So the Middle East
Stumbles along
Burdened in endless war
Mired in a sad song
 
Meanwhile,
Stormy underwent
A tough cross-examination
And pretty much came out on top
Successfully countering Huckster-inspired
Insinuation after insinuation

IS MTG LOSING HER CLOUT?

 

Majorie Taylor Greene’s
Motion to vacate the House Speakership failed
By a whopping bipartisan majority
The underlying message is
Nobody much likes her
Democrats, Republicans
Maybe not even the Orange Huckster
 
Meanwhile,
Stormy’s back in court Thursday
Likely for some tough cross-examination
Maybe she will once again
Irk the Huckster to a bit of self-destruction

STORMY DAY IN COURT

 

Did Stormy and the Orange Huckster
Get it on?
Seems to have been the case
Stormy mentioned the missionary position
Leaving to the imagination
The Huckster as the missionary
And she receiving his “blessing”
 
Meanwhile,
In the classified documents case
The Huckster-appointed judge
Burden with inexperience
And perhaps incompetence
Essentially postponed the trial
Until it would lack relevance

MAYBE TO JAIL?

 

Judge says no more
Gag order violations
Or the Orange Huckster
May have to visit
The proverbial slammer
 
Meanwhile,
The hush money trial plods on
With the prosecution getting ready
For testimony by Michael Cohen
And maybe the femme fatale Stormy

TIME FOR A NAP

 

The baggy-eyed, triple-chin
Orange Huckster is back Monday
To contest his hush money rap
Will he again fall asleep?
Well, he’s old and needs to nap
 
The GOP is becoming
The party of tough guys and gals
Don’t talk tough?
Then stick with your lefty wussy pals

WHO ARE THE GOOD GUYS?

 

Who are the good guys
In the Israeli-Palestinian dispute?
Both sides have significant negatives
And need to reboot
Protestors on either side
Should reevaluate the horse they ride
 
On the Palestinian side
Hamas is a terrorist organization
On the Israeli side
The West Bank is enduring increasing subjugation

HUCKSTER NOT LOOKING SO GOOD

 

Hope Hicks testified in the Hush Money trial
And painted a picture of the Orange Huckster
As concerned first and foremost
About squashing any negative matter
 
Meanwhile,
South Dakota’s Governor Kristi Noem
Says shooting her adolescent puppy
Shows she had leadership qualities
Which is the case if leadership is defined
As offing employees who get behind
 
So if you’re working for her
And she thinks you’re not doing the job
Don’t expect much sympathy
Just hope you’re merely fired
And not dispatched to another category
Of “no longer hired”

DAY 10

 

The Orange Huckster’s hush money trial
Is devolving into lawyering stuff
Tough for laypersons to follow
Even for bona fide lawyers
It can be kinda’ rough
 
No wonder the Huckster
Is having trouble staying awake
Listening to lawyers get nitpicking
Can make your brain ache

REPUBLICANS AND CAMPUS PROTESTS

 

Never ones to not stoke the fire
Republican politicians are stepping into
The campus protest muddle
Hoping for political gains
And for Joe a lotta trouble
 
Meanwhile
Marjorie Taylor Greene says
She doesn’t give a “rat’s ass” about
GOP criticism of her efforts
To kick House Speaker Johnson out
You go, Girl
You’re the North Georgia Pearl