OVERTURN THE ELECTION

The Orange Hoax made a statement
That Mike Pence let him down
Mike could have “overturned the election”
But he failed to do so
Denying the Hoax the Presidential crown
 
Thus the Hoax confessed
That overturning the election
Was his aim
Alleging voter fraud was just
A means to the end game

BAN THE BIBLE

 

The book banning crowd
Is getting pretty rough
Don’t want the kids
Exposed to bad stuff
 
Wonder what book
Might be next to fail the test?
Maybe the Bible
With its violence and sex
Including incest

IRS IS WATCHING

 

The IRS is expanding
Its use of facial authentication
Which maybe is a bit too much
Privacy invasion
 
“Didja get a load
Of Taxpayer Sally?”
“Yeah, her return is a mess
But she’s a real hottie”

IS CONFLICT INEVITABLE?

 

Ukraine, Taiwan
Is the world really on the cusp
Of some national leader
Doing stupid stuff?
 
Is conflict inevitable?
Is it something in our genes?
Deep down inside
Are we really just violent machines?

YOUNGKIN AND DEMOCRACY

 

Libertarian Glenn Youngkin
Is declaring war on local government
Who he apparently suspects
Is the source of much devilment
 
He’s starting with school boards
Those insidious organizations
Products of, oh the horror
Democratic elections

DID JOE CLEAR WITH MITCH?

 

Mitch is licking his chops
A challenge has arisen
A pending Supreme Court vacancy
In which the Senate will make a decision
 
Republicans are not in control
But they aren’t down by much
If Mitch could get a few Dems
He could have a really great lunch

ANTI-MASKERS IN VIRGINIA

 

Anti-maskers in Virginia
Are getting really unruly
Yelling, screaming, threatening
Acting the anti-social bully
 
Don’t wanna wear a mask?
Then tape your runny nose
Stuff a rag in your mouth
And like Moby Dick the whale
Yell thar’ she blows!

TUCKER LOVES M&Ms

 

While many males
Seek the aid of pornography
All Tucker Carlson needs
Is M&M candy
 
He sneaks into the bathroom
With a box of M&Ms
When his spouse asks, “Tucker,
What are you doing in there?”
He responds, “Uh, I’m just giving
The green one some air”

WHAT ARE REPUBLICANS FOR?

 

If you believe in lower taxes
A strong defense
And limited but competent government
Where do you find a home
In today’s political environment?
 
Certainly not with Republicans
Who have lost all interest in policy
In their myopic effort
To destroy the Biden Presidency
 
No America first
For today’s Republicans
It’s party before country
For these intellectual shamans

MOM WITH GUNS

 

“Every single gun
Loaded and ready”
Was what a school board heard
From a Virginia lady
 
Yeah, the Old Dominion
Has some tough characters
Although a few of them
Are a bit bonkers

MITCH’S AMERICANS

 

Mitch has a limited view
Of who are Americans
Apparently included are
Only bona fide Caucasians
 
But let’s give Mitch a break
He’s well along in years
And those puffy frog-like jowls
Most likely hinder the conversion
Of thoughts to nouns and vowels

TALKING HEAD QUIBBLINGS

 

The Talking Heads
Were in their element today
In yesterday’s presser
Joe gave them plenty
With which to play
 
Joe has a way with words
Ambling, rambling, meandering
Giving plenty of ammunition
For “Gotcha” by those commentating

JOE'S PRESSER

 

Joe gave it a shot
Much more than an hour
Back and forth with the press
At least he wasn’t a liar
 
He coulda done better
But he coulda done worst
He gave many meandering answers
But he didn't curse
 
Naturally the talking heads
Have dissected the weak points
But give Joe a break
He’s old and has creaky joints

5G

Will 5G eat your flight?

That is a question

AT&T and Verizon

Don’t want to highlight

AT&T and Verizon
Have invested a lot
Including ugly new poles

near your residential flower plot

NOTE TO JOE

 

Joe, you barely have
House and Senate majorities
Lower your expectations
Acknowledge your vulnerabilities
 
Or else Mitch and his crew
Won’t give you win one
They’ll just taunt you
While having lots of fun

NO CRT IN VIRGINIA SCHOOLS

New Virginia Governor Youngkin
On Fox News Sunday
Clarified his position
On critical race theory
 
There are no courses
In Virginia schools
Labeled Critical Race Theory
But there are nebulous tools
 
To elaborate on the Gov’s analysis
Those tools result in unpleasant topics
That aggravate a group of
Don’t-tread-on-me relics 

BLIZZARDO DIABLO

 

Snow on the way
One to three inches
Two to four inches
Not really enough
For snow-loving Grinches

BIDEN AGENDA

 

Republicans, Manchin
And Sinema
Have stymied
Biden’s agenda
 
Can Joe rebound?
Maybe if he stops
Demanding the sky
And settles for
Small pieces of the pie

FILIBUSTER THIS

 

The filibuster used to be
Difficult to apply
Now all it takes
Is a blink of an eye
 
Consequently it has become
A roadblock to democracy
A way for the minority
To completely stymie the majority

MORON

 

A hot mic catches Dr. Fauci
Calling a Senator a moron
The thing is the Senate
Most definitely has more than one
 
Marshall, Paul, Johnson
Cruz, Graham, Hawley
Are among those qualifying
For the Senate’s moron family

RAND PAUL MD

 

Rand Paul is motivating whackos
To threaten Dr. Fauci
Guess that’s the way
They do things in Kentucky
 
Paul is an MD but also
A bit of a medical quack
The kind that considers
Science too abstract

LOCAL SCHOOL BOARD

 

Wannabe on a school board
And harass parents and teachers?
If you were a snotty kid
A school board has its features
 
Did Mrs. Burke put you in the corner?
Now you can get her back
Call her up for questioning
And rake her over the rack
 
Mom didn’t like your tattoos?
Well look at these, Ma
I’ve got ‘toos
All the way to my shoes

GOTTA BE SPECIAL

 

Each generation believes
It’s gotta be special
Which to some can mean more violent
Than a Tasmanian Devil

JUST ANOTHER DAY

 

To many Republican voters
Jan 6, 2021
Was just a day
That had a bit of fun
 
Oh yes,
There were a few bad apples
But mostly there were folks
Enjoying their freedom
To laugh and make jokes

GOP BECOMING FNP

 

Ted Cruz sniveled and groveled
But Tucker Carlson wasn’t placated
Ted called Jan 6 rioters “terrorists”
And Tucker left him dilapidated
 
The Grand Old Party is morphing
Into the Fox News Party
Tucker is calling the shots
And Republicans are responding like robots

DARK CORNERS OF THE AMERICAN PSYCHE

 

Lurking deep down
In the American psyche
Is a desire for chaos
An antagonism toward authority
But also an attraction to
A demonic personality
 
On January 6, 2021
Such a personality
Pushed the nation close to
Unbridle anarchy

PORTA POTTIES FOR I-95

 

The closure of I-95 in Virginia
During a heavy snowfall
Revealed a crying need
Porta potties wall to wall
 
Motorists were marooned
Food and drink were limited
And the only human relief options
Were not for the timid
 
Bowel movements in the snow
Require a certain amount of agility
Some folks were capable
Others lacked the flexibility

SOCIAL MEDIA AND JAN 6

A lesson of Jan 6 is that
Many citizens are not ready
For unrestrained social media
That contains considerable fantasy
 
“It’s online
And therefore it’s true”
Is the guiding principle
For far too many individuals
In the human zoo 

THE TERRORIST

 

The Orange Hoax is
In essence a terrorist
He instigates his adherents
To commit acts of violence
To flout legal authority
To inflict harm on others
To pursue societal hostility
 
What will it take
To restore respect
For law and order
And the norms they protect?

MARJORIE SPOUTS OFF AGAIN

 

Marjorie Taylor Greene
Is starting the year right
Spreading falsehoods on twitter
Getting banned from the site
 
To Marjorie’s defense
Comes her Posse buddy Boebert
Not wishing to be
Left in the dirt
 
The Posse may be a bit
Intellectually flawed
But they’re better armed

Than their competitors on the Squad

WELCOME 2022

Welcome to the new year
Two thousand twenty two
What you gonna
Put us through?
 
We’ve had covid for two years
And the Hoax for five
How about a break
From this depressing jive?