TEA PARTY REPUBLICANS

 

Tea Party Republicans
Are feeling the need
To let the world know
They’ve still got their speed
 
Mountains out of molehills
Are what get them panting
And masking is a molehill
Ready for their ranting

IMMORTAL PRESIDENTIAL WORDS

 

“The only thing we have to fear is fear itself”—FDR, 1933.
 
“Ask not what your country can do for you. Ask what you can do for your country”—JFK, 1961.
 
“Just say the election was corrupt and leave the rest to me and the R. Congressmen”—DJT, 2020.
 
So how 'bout them apples?
Didn’t think the Hoax
Was up to his predecessors?
Well, he showed you
He’s among the great motivators

MASK TANTRUM

 

House Republicans
Don’t want to mask
It’s a matter of freedom
And also an inconvenient task
 
Don’t tread on me
Is their motto
They’re insurrectionists at heart
Rebelling for little more than ego

ROUTERS ATE MY ELECTION

 

The Orange Hoax’s latest villains
In his election fraud fantasy
Are computer routers
Belonging to an Arizona county
 
Bottom line is
The Hoax should stick with his putter
He wouldn’t know a router
From a boat’s rudder
Or a cow’s udder

Or a churn for butter

JUST A LITTLE FUN

 

Four police officers today
Testified concerning
The Hoax’s “loving crowd”
And how it was so inspiring
 
It warms your heart to hear
What a lovefest it became
Only a few battered skulls
And bruised bodies
So no need to find blame

PELOSI REPUBLICANS

Kevin reached far

To find an appropriate insult

For Liz and Adam

Who are defying the Trumplican cult 

"Pelosi Republicans”

Was what he came up with

Wow! Cover the kids’ ears

They shouldn’t hear such filth

PHOENIX RALLY

 

The Orange Hoax took the stage
In Phoenix Saturday
Spouted his usual rubbish
From which he didn’t stray
 
His audience ate it up
Which is no surprise
Afterall they’re in a cult
And dissent is not wise
 
Meanwhile Illinois’ Adam Kinzinger
Of the Republican Party
Is joining Nancy’s committee
Investigating the assault on democracy

OLYMPIC CRISIS

 

A major Olympic crisis
For the first time in several generations
The U.S. failed to win a medal
On the initial day of competitions
 
But not to worry
The first day final events
Such as archery, fencing, judo

Air rifle, air pistol, women’s weightlifting
Are not exactly U.S. strengths

DISTRACTIONS

 

Olympics and covid
Are vying for attention
Distracting us from
The political situation
 
How can we keep up
With Mitch, Nancy
And the group?
Not to mention Kevin
The clown that’s outta the loop

LOVING CROWD

 

It was a “loving crowd”
Is how the Odious Orange Outrage
Described the Jan 6 insurrectionists
Who he inflamed from the stage
 
A great big “Duh”
Is about all you can utter
To such an absurd observation
From the clown with no mental rudder

KEVIN THROWS A TANTRUM

Clarabell the clown

Didn’t make the cut

Nancy told Jim Jordan

To stay out of her hut

Then Little Kevin threw a tantrum

And yanked all his nominees

Leaving the Democrats and Liz Cheney

To investigate the Jan 6 sleaze 

WILL IT BE A CIRCUS?

 

Will Nancy’s Jan 6 committee
Turn into a circus?
It certainly has a clown
Jim Jordan, the Clarabell of the House
 
Who is Clarabell, you ask?
Turn back the clock
To the infancy of TV
And the Howdy Doody Show
Which made little kids rock

STOCK MARKET GETS COVIDED

The stock market today
Took a big drop
Covid said vaccine resistance
Should not stop
 
So thank you Facebook and Fox News
Keep putting out misinformation
And soon you’ll have the economy
Heading for a depression

COVID MOUNTS AN ATTACK

 

Covid is mounting an attack
On the underbelly of the nation
That’s the portion that believes
Vaccines are an evil infestation
 
So when social restrictions are resurrected
You can thank your “Duh” cousins
The ones that are likely
Fox News denizens

SOCIAL MEDIA, A WMD

 

Mark Zuckerberg
Is not looking good
His creation is responsible for
A flood of falsehood
 
Social media has become
Not so very social
Weapon of mass destruction
Is a more apt description
Of the impact on civilization

THE ORANGE FRAIDY CAT

 

On Jan 6 from the stage
The Odious Orange Outrage
Said to the assembled throng
“We’re going to walk” to the Capitol
“And I’ll be there with you”
Definitely implying he was going along
 
But follow me
Was not to be
Instead he went to the White House
And watched the insurrection
On TV

REPUBLICAN HO-HUM

 

The Chairman of the Joint Chiefs of Staff
Saw parallels between words
Of the Orange Outrage
And the rhetoric of Adolph Hitler
The leading autocrat on history’s stage
 
And Republicans go “Ho-hum
What’s the big deal?
So the Hoax’s a fascist
Maybe democracy needs repeal”

RIGHT TO INFECT YOUR NEIGHBOR

 

New covid cases are roaring
The numbers are on an upward trend
But the Fox News scientists say
It’s time for vaccinations to end
 
Every American has the right
To infect his or her neighbor
The whole point of the American Revolution
Was legalizing misbehavior

CRITICAL VOTING THEORY

 

Joe Biden has come forth
With a major defense for
The nation’s neutral election system
Many Republicans want out the door
 
Republicans want state legislatures
To have the power to negate
Local election results if they
Don’t meet the Republican mandate
 
Unless you are of
The proper political persuasion
Republicans prefer you not vote
The heck with the Constitution
 
That’s called Critical Voting Theory
And is currently being taught
In Republican school districts
Which discourage independent thought

THE UNAMERICAN PARTY

 

Rarely in the nation’s history
Has a political party
Been so hostile to non-followers
As today’s GOP
 
The party has morphed
From political organization to cult
Its politicians have abandoned principles
To follow the Orange Hoax’s strut
(Or to be more crude
To kiss the Orange Hoax’s butt)

WHERE’S THE RATIONAL MIDDLE?

 

For most, not all, of American history

A rational middle has existed

There have been dingbats on the left
Weirdos on the right
Weirdos on the left
Dingbats on the right
But usually the rational middle persisted
 
Has the nation’s luck run out?
Have dingbats and weirdos become the majority?
Let’s hope not
The rational middle now seems weak
But maybe it’s just temporary

VACCINATION SKEPTICS

 

Some folks don’t want
A covid vaccination
They say it’s a matter of personal freedom
Which they’re proving by obstination
 
But the vast majority of covid deaths
Are now among those without a vaccination
So the ultimate result might be
A reduction in the number
Of those prone to obstination

REPUBLICAN PARTY PRINCIPLES

 

What are the guiding principles
Of the Orange Hoax-era Republican Party?
Please stop, I’m laughing so hard
I need to go to the potty
 
No principles for these bozos
Other than autocratic rule
Stay out of their way
They tend to drool

TEXAS VOTER QUALIFICATIONS

 

Republican politicians in Texas
Are trying to limit voting
The goals seem to include qualifications
Some might find revolting
 
1. Be Texas born
2. Be no darker than light brown
3. Be Republican
4. Be a big-hatted clown

ORANGE HOAX SUES (THAT’S NEWS?)

 

The Orange Hoax is suing
Facebook, YouTube, Twitter
He wants back on social media
To spread his verbal litter
 
Maybe he wants to discuss
His admiration for Adolph
Which John Kelly tried to discourage
But was rebuffed

CAPITOL TOUR

 

More video is surfacing
Of the Jan 6 Capitol tour
What a well-behaved group
That wandered in the door
 
Republican politicians should be proud
Of their constituents
Who enthusiastically participated
In many and varied incidents
 
Yes, a few got over-exuberant
But they can be forgiven
They were just excited about
Helping the Orange Hoax with sedition

PARTY OF WEIRDOS

 

Once upon a time
The political party for weirdos
Was the Democratic
Times have certainly changed
You can’t get more weirdly frantic
Than Paul Gosar, Mo Brooks, Lauren Boebert
Ron Johnson, Ted Cruz, Matt Gaetz
Andrew Clyde, Marjorie Greene, Louie Gohmert
Not to mention Mitch and Kevin
The leaders of a party
That’s not likely going to heaven

ORANGE HOAX IS GUILTY

 

Who killed Ashli Babbit?
The Orange Hoax wants to know
Well, look in the mirror Hoax
You started the show
 
That was your mob
Who charged the U.S. Congress
You were the one who
Motivated the insurrectionists
 
Republicans need to acknowledge
That their President was a failure
Except for his effort
To instigate misbehavior

JULY 4TH

 

July 4th, Independence Day
In 1826 on this day
Two Founding Fathers
Thomas Jefferson and James Adams
Both passed away
 

(A quirky fact from an upcoming book, “The Presidents in Quirky Illustrated Verse,” by Cranky and Phil McKenney)

GOOD LUCK, AFGHANISTAN

 Well, Afghanistan
We gave it a shot
Sorry it didn’t work out
But twenty years was a lot
 
One theory about
What went wrong
Is to win a war
You gotta bigtime pile on
 
We nickeled and dimed
Which was great for preventing defeat
But for winning the thing
was not so neat 

WITCH HUNT

 

Is a trial really necessary?
The Orange Hoax has
For a long time
Implied with a wink
That his taxes were fine
 
Proving otherwise
Shouldn’t take much
Maybe just a day
If you don’t break for lunch