THE GOP SLIDE

 

Matt Gaetz and Rudy Giuliani
Examples of Republican propriety
Setting the example
For Republican immorality
 
How far the GOP has fallen
From Ronnie Reagan’s time
Scoundrels and dingbats
Available for a dime

TUCKER

 

Tucker Carlson
What a piece of work
Some would even say
The guy is a jerk
 
But he does have the welfare
Of kids at heart
Rip off their masks
Throw their parents in the slammer
It’s not much but it’s a start

JOE GIVES SPEECH

 

Joe gave a speech
Kamala and Nancy were sitting behind
The Hoax was watching on TV
What he was thinking was not very kind
 
It should be him
Addressing the nation
The election was stolen
There should have been an insurrection

CONSERVATIVES VERSUS REPUBLICANS

 

What is the difference
Between Conservatives and Republicans?
Conservatives have principles
Republicans have morphed into
Unprincipled politicians

NC GOOBERS

North Carolina Goobers
Versus the 21st Century
You Goobers need
To reconsider your strategy
 
Which in Elizabeth City is
To avoid factual inclusion
Showing only twenty seconds
Of body cam confusion

WHEN WILL NUMBERS GO DOWN?

 

More of the nation
Is getting vaccinated
But Covid cases and deaths
Remain stagnated
 
When will the numbers
Start descending?
That’s anybody’s random guess
Just keep your mask in place
And let Dr. Fauci handle the rest

ANTI-VAXXERS

 

Anti-vaxxers are becoming antsy
Most sane people are getting vaxxed
And those left are saying
“None of your beeswax”
 
Yes, that good ol’ American
“Don’t tell me what to do
That British king tried
And we showed him the loo”

WHEREFORE ART THOU JOE?

 

What is Joe doing these days?
He’s mentioned every now and then
But the nation had come to expect
Its President to be a mad bull in a pen

KENNEDY V. ABRAMS

 

Senator Kennedy of Louisiana
Is a Good Ol’ Boy
But Stacey Abrams of Georgia
Played him like a toy
 
The Senator wanted to know
In Georgia’s new voting laws
Exactly what Stacey objected to
She responded in concise detail
Leaving the Senator munching goober stew

REPUBLICAN DISAPPOINTMENT

 

Some Republicans appear disappointed
That Derek Chauvin was convicted
They wanted acquittal
So they could loudly howl about
The resulting riotous rebuttal 

GUILTY

Verdict is in
GUILTY AS CHARGED
The nation can now move forward
The jury is discharged
 
Hopefully this is not
Just an aberration
That race relations will see
Continued positive progression

WE AWAIT

 

The trial is in
The hands of the jury
The nation awaits
The verdict with worry

ANGLO-SAXON REPARATIONS CAUCUS

 

Marjorie Taylor Greene
Wanted an America First caucus
To be established
In the United States Congress
 
Even a few Republicans
Had some objections
So Marjorie changed her plans
And is investigating other options
 
Maybe an Anglo-Saxon Reparations caucus
Which Tucker Carlson could monitor
Ensuring that pale folk
Are accorded proper honor

THE HOAX AND THE RUSSKIES

 

New reporting by
A New York Times reporter
Provides more evidence that
Russia was seeking American disorder
 
And the Russkies had the support
Of the Hoax’s campaign
Which was providing Russian operatives
With much to bring Hillary pain

GUNS TO THE RIGHT OF US. . .

 

Thanks in part to the NRA
The nation is facing an epidemic
Of mass shootings
But no cause for panic
 
Because the Founding Fathers wanted
The citizenry to possess
Enough firepower to put
Rebellion to rest
 
Only problem is
Goober citizens possessing
Today’s enormous firepower
Are rebels in waiting

MATT, WE’RE ROOTING FOR YA

 

Lotta troubling news these days
But fortunately we have Matt Gaetz
To keep us entertained
As he self-incinerates
 
And if we get tired of Matt
There’s always Jim Jordan
Marjorie Taylor Greene
Ted Cruz and Josh Hawley
Who together constitute

A true yuck machine

AFGHANISTAN

President Biden says
We’re outta Afghanistan
Enough with trying to bring peace
To this forlorn land
 
Bringing democracy and stability
To a culture not ready
Is a formidable task
With few successes in history

GAETZ UPDATE

 

Matt Gaetz’s buddy
Has apparently agreed to squeal
Matt might be in serious trouble
With little possibility for a deal
 
Unless he has something
On his mentor the Hoax
Wouldn’t that be great?
And a helluva joke

THE CONSTITUTION’S ABERRATION

 

The Second Amendment
Is the Constitution’s aberration
Adopted at a time
When today’s power of guns
Was beyond imagination
 

As guns have become

Weapons of massive destruction
The Amendment’s murky wording
Has stymied the nation
From enacting realistic measures
Of gun regulation

DUMB SOB

 

The Orange Hoax called Mitch
A dumb SOB
If that’s not the pot
Calling the kettle black
Then I’m a cicada in a tree

TOO SOON FOR HISTORIANS?

 

Too soon for historians
To judge the Hoax’s Presidency?
We shouldn’t wait too long
For a serious colonoscopy
 
Here’s a working hypothesis
He was the worst President in history
None of the preceding forty-four
Came close to his degree of incompetency

MATT ADDRESSES WOMEN

 

What’s the subject tonight?
Once more into the well
Rattling the Republicans’ crates
And ringing Matt Gaetz’s bell
 
Matt is speaking this evening
To a Women’s group in Florida
Under the auspices of the Hoax’s
Assault on law and order
 
Hope Matt checked at the door
The nude pictures of his many conquests
Or maybe he’ll ask the ladies with a wink
If they have any requests

MODERATE REPUBLICANS’ QUANDRY

 

Should moderate Republicans
Cut their ties
To the party that has morphed
Into a conglomeration of lies?
 
The Orange Hoax, Gaetz, Pompeo
Rudy, Ted Cruz, Steven Miller
Jim Jordan, Marjorie Taylor Greene
The Republican Party has become
Home for a really weird scene

GUNS

 

Guns to the right of us
Guns to the left of us
Guns in front of us
Into the valley of guns
He carried his 18th Century Blunderbuss
 
Which was one of the
Few types of guns that could be bought
Back in 1791 when the Second Amendment
Was a Bill of Rights afterthought

REPUBLICANS SINK TO THEIR ESSENCE

 

The Republican Party is sinking
To what is its essence
Which is opposition to anything
That makes sense

MATT, WE LOVE YA

 

Matt Gaetz is adamant
He’s guilty of nothing
He’s just an adult male
Looking for a little something
 
And he never paid for sex
Not ever never
Real men don’t have to
Women paying is better

THE THREE STOOGES

 

Matt Gaetz, Jim Jordan
Marjorie Taylor Greene
The future of the Republican Party
That’s really keen
 
They’re certainly not the deep swamp
That has paralyzed policy-making
They’re more like noxious weeds
That need occasional trimming

MLB CANCELS GEORGIA

 

Major League Baseball
Tells Georgia no All-Star celebration
Obama gives a cheer
The Hoax calls for an insurrection

JOHN BOEHNER SETS GOP STRAIGHT

 

In an upcoming memoir
Former House Speaker John Boehner
Lights into the Republican Party’s
Degeneration into media-mania
 
The party’s become the captive
Of right-wing media
Which pulls the strings and calls the shots
Setting the GOP’s political agenda

CONGRESSMAN GAETZ

 

Florida Congressman Gaetz
Is testing the norms of his institution
Showing pictures of his sexual conquests
To his fellow Representatives
Is frowned upon by the Constitution
(Isn’t it?)