MITIGATE tRUMP

The Coronavirus Task Force says

To control the nasty disease

We need to mitigate, mitigate, mitigate

Until the disease is on its knees

Maybe that would also work

For controlling the Orange Lump

If we mitigated him

He might soon be just a bump

So let’s get on the bandwagon

Mitigate the Odious Orange Outrage

Keep way away from him

And maybe he’ll exit the stage

INCREDIBLE, UNBELIEVABLE AND SO ON

We certainly have

An “incredible” President

It is “unbelievable”

He’s the White House resident

His mastery of hyperbole

Is a wonder to behold

He is the “greatest” ever

Except he has no soul

MY WORDS MEAN ZILCH

Easter could be the peak

Although it was not a serious goal

It was only aspirational

Something that slipped outta my pie-hold

You people in the media

Always get me wrong

I say something ridiculous

And you come at me strong

I don’t appreciate

Being held to my words

I utter a lotta things

Just to entertain the birds

APPRECIATE ME OR ELSE

tRump wants appreciation

Or he will give you the boot

Well here’s some appreciation for him

A middle-finger salute

Since when did citizenship require

Pampering the Dear Leader?

Feeding his ego until

He’s a satisfied creature

This is America, Big Dog

We’re a tough bunch

We got better things to do

Than to kiss your fat haunch

CENTER OF ATTENTION

tRump’s really beginning to enjoy

This coronavirus situation

It keeps him in front

The center of attention

Joe Biden, who’s he?

He’s hunkered down

While tRump is

A very visible clown

Amazingly, polls are showing

tRump’s popularity is rising

Probably because he’s

The only one jiving

And also the American people

Are not the brightest bunch

Too many of us

Have barely a hunch

LEADERLESS

We have tariffs on steel from Canada

And we have troops on the border

The troops make sure no steel

Crosses the border out of order

So the Orange Easter Bunny

Went off on another tangent

Anything to avoid tough questions

Anything to change the subject

tRump says revised

Social distancing guidelines

Are on the drawing board

Will they be enough

To curtail the coronavirus hoard?

One thing for sure

tRump has zero clue

He just spouts pablum

And has no idea if it is true

FLOP EARS SAYS BACK TO WORK

Easter Bunny Flop Ears tRump

Said it’s almost over

Just a few more casualties

And we’ll be in clover

The country wants to go back to work

That’s what the country is about

Work, work, work

Don’t have any doubt

Old folks are willing

To work themselves to death

Anything to help tRump

Look his best

After all, he’s up for re-election

We don’t want to hurt his chance

He’s been such a great president

He’s certainly entitled to another dance

THE EASTER BUNNY

tRump wants the crisis over

So get your butt back to work

No more sitting around

Pretending to be an unemployed jerk

By Easter you’d better be on the job

Or no chocolate rabbits for you

tRump has done his part

So he’s pretty much through

Time to hit the links

At Mar-a-Lago in Florida

Too bad you don’t own a golf course

Maybe you should put in an order

THE CURE VERSUS THE DISEASE

The debate has begun

Is the cure worse than the disease?

You won’t find the answer here

So don’t get mad, please

Do you end most social distancing measures

And let the coronavirus run its course?

Sounds tempting, but what if that course

Is that thousands more get worse?

As time goes on

The economic pressures are mounting

To reduce restrictions

And limit ourselves to casualty counting

Bottom line is

Easing restrictions is a judgement call

And the bozo making the call for us

Has no judgement at all

TONE DEAF PRESIDENT

Is tRump’s management style

A hindrance to the pandemic strategy?

Does a black bear in the woods

Poop in the vicinity?

tRump is over his head

And no one has yet arrived

To give even a pretense

Of being in charge of the hive

tRump waded through facts and statistics

And it pretty much sounded like gibberish

Was he saying anything meaningful

Or just a bunch of rubbish

He finished the press conference

With a soliloquy on his wealth

A comforting topic

To the millions with very little stuff

NEVER BEEN ANYTHING LIKE THIS

tRump’s historical fixation

Is that “never before”

Have we seen this

Or been confronted with that

Or been so severely challenged

Or found ourselves in such a trap

It gets a bit tiring

This word hyperbole of his

He just doesn’t grasp

That his verbal exaggerations

Are very suggestive of

Significant mental limitations

The people want to hear

Truth rather than fiction

Most react negatively

To unrestrained expression

THE ULTIMATE PROBLEM

The ultimate problem is death

So said tRump

Maybe the ultimate problem is actually

That tRump is a mental lump

Unable to rise above

His visceral animal-like reactions

Unable to resist his need

For adversarial explanations

He views any situation

As him against the world

He imagines slights and insults

Indeed wallows in their peril

A wartime president he calls himself

But a wartime president he’s not

He’s a little boy playing soldier

In a drama whose final scene

Has not yet been shot

LET’S SEE THAT MEDICAL DEGREE AGAIN?

President Dr. tRump

Can barely pronounce “asprin”

Which isn’t stopping him

From medical jargon experimenting

If something comes outta his mouth

That sounds like a burp

It could be an effort

At a multi-syllable medical term

Or just a stray “Erp”

If tRump wants to instill calm

He needs to shut his yap

Let his supposedly knowledgeable staff

Avoid the rookie communication trap

TRUMP VIRUS

tRump loves the term

“Chinese Virus”

It satisfies his craving

For adversarial stimulus

And also detracts attention

From his belated acceptance

Of the fact that

A pandemic is in existence

But perhaps a better term

For the nasty disease

Might be the “Trump Virus”

To emphasize his many inadequacies

LOOKIN’ UP FOR tRUMP

tRump is a happy man

He’s found a path to another term

Show a tad of empathy

Give a few orders

Throw some money around

And voters might forget

You’re intellectually and morally empty

So there’s a bright side

To every tragedy

Perhaps an undeserving human

Rises above his deserved obscurity

Leaving us ordinary folk

At the mercy of the elite

As they dodge and weave

To stay at the top of the heap

NEVER DOUBTED THERE WAS A PROBLEM

tRump finally seems to have acknowledged

That a serious situation is underway

A feel-good press conference

Was not what happened today

Instead there were restrictive guidelines

Talk of a recession

Time lines to August

And little “we’re on top of this” fantization

But tRump still managed

To rate his crisis response a ten

Showing he’s not completely abandoning

His self-image of never being mistaken

CHANGING THE SUBJECT

tRump suggests a pardon

For confessed law-breaker Michael Flynn

Anything to change the subject

From tRump’s coronavirus wing-ding

Meanwhile Mike Pence keeps telling us

What a great leader tRump is

“Hey Mike put a lid on it

tRump is to leadership

As icebergs were to the Titanic”

“Mike, you’re a religious person

Supposed to deal in truth

There’s nothing truthful about tRump

So stop lying through your tooth”

IS HE TROLLING US?

Did tRump really get tested?

He said he did

But over the last three years

He’s told many thousands a fib

So maybe he didn’t

Might be yanking our chain

As he’s done for so very long

What a time for the nation

To have a leader who’s mentally gone

And how about his inability

To set an example

About not shaking hands

Too much for a small brain to handle

What happens Monday?

Stocks up or down?

More schools closed?

Can’t go into town?

His reality show rolls on

Ratings ever higher

Meanwhile people are dying

And our leader excels as a liar

DRIVE-THRU TESTING

tRump announced a program

Of drive-thru coronavirus testing

But big block stores

Were where implementation was vesting

if you’re doing drive-thru

what do Walmart and Target know?

MacDonald’s, Burger King, and their ilk

Know the drive-thru show

“Large drink with that test?

Maybe large fries?”

Takes the edge off

Getting swabbed by a guy with hives

But it is interesting how quickly

A Democrat Party Hoax

Morphed into a National Emergency

And was no longer among political jokes

WEDNESDAY EVENING DEBACLE

In his address to the nation

On Wednesday evening

tRump showed why the Presidency

He should soon be leaving

Instead of facts

And a developed plan

He dispensed gibberish and bromides

And showed he doesn’t understand

Much of anything

About management and organization

He governs from the gut

Which doesn’t comprehend the situation

He did not mention

His major professional accomplishment

Four bankruptcies that he managed

To sweep under the carpet

In other words

His major talent is failure

And admittedly at that

He’s become quite stellar

To the nation's detriment

JARED IN, MIKE OUT

tRump appears in the process

Of going from too little to too very much

From understanding not enough

To being swamped in the rush

In short he does not get it

And is over-compensating for ignorance

By acting the tough guy

Impressing all with his brutal arrogance

So when do the American people

Get an apology

For having a leader

Who is mostly dumber than a tree

Oh that’s right

We put him there

If there is a problem

It’s our burden to bear

QUARANTINE DJ?

tRump would get tested

But he’s feeling fine indeed

So his Doc, fine man by the way

Said there was no need

But just to be on the safe side

Shouldn’t he be quarantined?

Locked up in a tiny room

With French fries and a special bean

The bean that’s got the number

Of the evil coronavirus

The bean that can’t wait

To defend the Orange Rhinoceros

HOW NOT TO BE IN CHARGE

tRump had a news conference

To show us he’s in charge

First Little Mike

Heaped praise on the Presidential barge

Then tRump said

He would be back tomorrow

To answer a few questions

Which he couldn’t do today

Because there was a rally to attend

And coronavirus shouldn’t stand in the way

Several Republican members of Congress

Have themselves self-quarantined

We can only hope that tRump

Will lock himself in the latrine

NO CHALLENGE

The media should be ashamed

Of coming down so hard

On tRump’s efforts to clean up

The coronavirus in the yard

The target is too easy

To say tRump’s Administration is unorganized

Is to say little more than a porcupine’s quills

Are sharp enough to poke out your eyes

Arguing with an idiot

Is hardly a challenge at all

And the biggest idiot in the nation

Now has his back to the wall

So let’s give the Orange Guy a break

And stop reminding him he’s a loser

Hopefully within a year

He’ll be a retired old smelly geezer

MALPRACTICE

Lawsuits are being readied

Big Money is there

Dr. tRump will be sued

For malpractice with orange hair

He said the coronavirus test

Is conducted absolutely perfectly

Like his letter to Ukraine

About quid pro quo for beef jerky

Speaking of beef jerky

How about the new Chief of Staff

A North Carolina Republican

Mark Meadows is certainly not riff-raff

Perhaps a bit intellectually challenged

But then he’ll fit right in

With tRump’s White House

A den of Tea Party sin

GOVERNMENT BY HUNCH

tRump’s managerial style

Is finally becoming evident

Have yourself a hunch

And declare yourself President

Let subordinates do the hard work

Let them make the tough decisions

As long as they praise tRump

To the highest heavens

If a hunch turns out wrong

Deny you said it

If presented with irrefutable evidence

Refuse to accept it

Just have another hunch

And dismiss the interrogating bunch

tRump visited the CDC

Wearing a red campaign hat

Looking like an obese orange clown

How appropriate was that?

LIZ, YOU TOOK THE HINT!

Elizabeth, you took the hint!

Now if Bernie will just run

A pro forma campaign

Not casting ideological blame

Nor yaking about the means of production

Nor trying to light a Castro-like flame

Maybe we can return the nation

To a sensible situation

This election, Bernie

Should be Democrats vs. tRump

If should not be fuzzy Progressives

Versus the Republican intellectual lump

If Biden can hold

His act together

Not nuzzle somebody’s spouse

Nor make up stories from back yonder

He might be able to remove

The orange blight from the nation’s udder