THE ALMIGHTY AND THE ORANGE DISASTER

Sarah Huckabee Sanders

Has made a pronouncement

“God wanted Donald Trump

To become President”

Which if true suggests

God is a bit of a rascal

Amusing himself by

Causing a colossal hassle

We’ll try to be better, Lord

Just remove this clown from us

Send him to Mar-a-Lago

Where he can bellyache ‘til he busts

TWO NATIONS

The Petulant Orange Ogre

And the U.S. Intelligence Agencies

Are apparently overseeing

Two different countries

In their nation

The Intelligence Agencies’ spies

Consider Russia, China, and North Korea

To be among the bad guys

The bad guys for the Orange Ogre

Are in a different box

Mexicans, NATO, democracies

And any media not Fox

ORANGE DRAMA QUEEN

The Orange Drama Queen

Wants his mojo back

So he’s threatening a national emergency

To rattle the establishment

Ann Coulter is egging him on

Saying he has tiny hands

Implying that’s not all that’s wrong

Tiny hands, tiny you-know-what

That’s hitting where it hurts

Which is below the Drama Queen’s belt

And what’s with Roger Stone

And his tattoo of Richard Nixon

In the center of his back no less

That’s stranger than fiction

More disturbingly what does it say

About a politician

Who seeks guidance and advice

From a living image of Nixon

TAX SIMPLIFICATION?

Checked out the 2018 tax form yet?

Remember how it was to be simpler?

Well, in one sense it is

Pages 1 and 2 are now smaller

But Schedules A, B, C, etc. still exist

Only before you get to them

You have new Schedules 1 to 6

Threatening you with mayhem

So using the postcard measurement

Whereas before

You may have needed five postcards

Now you require several more

Thus the Orange Paperwork Genius

Gives us alleged tax simplification

That actually may require more time

Depending on your tax situation

GOOF WANTS ANOTHER CHANCE

The Petulant Orange Goof

Is having second thoughts

About ending the shutdown

Without getting what he wants

Ann Coulter and company

Are on his case

Accusing him of caving

And selling out his base

So the Goof’s mouth is in gear

Really talking tough

Getting ready for February fifteenth

When again he can show his stuff

BOUND WOMEN, THE ORANGE ONE’S FANTASY?

The Petulant Orange Goof’s

Infatuation with bound women

Images he describes in detail

Is somewhat disturbing

In his announcement

Of his shut down cave

He digressed for considerable time

To visions quite depraved

Here’s some advice

For House Speaker Nancy

Avoid being alone with him

If any duct tape is handy

OUCH

The Petulant Orange Goof

On Friday caved big time

Agreeing to open the government

Before his wall got a dime

The opening is only temporary

And maybe in three weeks

The nation will be back

For chaotic repeats

In making his concession

The Orange Goof dwelt at length

On the need for border protection

To include a wall of great strength

He seemed particularly concerned over

The smuggling of women who were restrained

Indeed his infatuation with the topic

Seemed more than a little deranged

WILBUR

Commerce Secretary Wilbur Ross

A multi-millionaire by the way

Does not quite understand

Why federal employees have trouble with no pay

Just get a loan he says

Pay a little interest

It shouldn’t be a big deal

Just the way of business

Wilbur, good buddy

Receiving financial advice from you

Is about as helpful as watching

A self-abusing monkey in a zoo

TIME FOR CONGRESS TO BE THE ADULT

Time for the Congress

Of this nation

To find a solution

For the situation

Republicans and Democrats

Should come together

Compromise a bit

And become the nation’s rudder

Put together legislation

That is veto proof

Providing the leadership lacking

From the Petulant Orange Goof

PARTY OF WIMPS

Republicans have sold their souls

To a New York semi-mobster

A guy who took daddy’s money

And was a mediocre real estate developer

His political skills are

Getting elected once

Governing is something

Beyond his competence

Yet the majority of Republicans

Are following him unthinkingly

Heading over the cliff

Like lemmings on a spree

ORANGE ONE HAS A DREAM

The Petulant Orange One

Has a dream

A pure white nation

Living on ice cream

Protected by a wall

On all four sides

Mexico, Canada

And the ocean tides

No one could get in

No one could get out

It is an isolationist paradise

Without a doubt

But over generations

Inbreeding could take a toll

With all the inhabitants

Coming to resemble an orange troll

THE ORANGE ONE'S LEGACY

Longest shutdown in history

Good job, Orange One

An easy way for the history books

To sum up your Administration

"NEW" PROPOSAL

A “new” proposal by

The Orange Wrecking Ball

Would reopen the government

And get his border wall

Problem is the “new”

Isn’t really new

Just a rehash

Of the same old stew

Nancy as expected

Rejected it out of hand

Considering it nothing new

Not worth a damn

But she shouldn’t appear obstinate

Indeed should respond

With some details

And not the same old line

Otherwise she risks

Giving the Orange Ball

The appearance of the initiative

Which he doesn’t deserve at all

ALMA MATERS

I can tell

I’m coming down the stretch

My various alma maters

Are pushing for a last bequest

As you make your final preparations

Remember us in your plans

We might even name a dorm room for your

If your generosity is really grand

Well, sorry fellas and gals

I’m not one of your successes

Fame and fortune eluded me

And there are no financial surpluses

NANCY, NANCY, NANCY

Nancy, Nancy, Nancy

How did you not foresee

Your planned trip to a war zone

Would be a target of opportunity?

And what were you doing anyway

Traveling during the shutdown?

Your place is in DC

Trying to prevent a government breakdown

Will this ever end?

Not likely with the Three Stooges in charge

That would be Donald, Nancy, and

Mitch, on his the slow-motion barge

SOLUTION TO COSTLY GOVERNMENT

The Grand Old Party

Has stumbled on nirvana

Government employees who work

But get paid nada

It is the ultimate Conservative goal

A complete capitalist dream

Underpinned by free labor

From those who must muffle a scream

Such fervent right-wingers

As Mick “The Hatchet” Mulvaney

Can’t believe they hadn’t thought

Of simply adopting the equivalent of slavery

FAST FOOD FOR CLEMSON

Agent Comrade Trump

Fed the football team from Clemson

A meal of fast food

“Eat up, National Champions”

At least he did not

Toss rolls of towels around

As if he were

A performance clown

Meanwhile to aid his buddy

Vladimir the Great

He keeps the Government closed

And the nation in an anxious state

Maybe he should be providing

Fast food to Government employees

Who no longer have funds

To feed their families

AMERICAN OLIGARCHY

Agent Comrade Trump

Is doing his best

To prolong the government shutdown

Obviously at Putin’s behest

The Republican Party

Long an anti-Soviet moat

Is getting on board

The Putin-Trump love boat

What better way

To show the inadequacies of democracy

Than highlighting the government’s inability

To deal with tasks rudimentary

What is the Putin-Trump goal?

Perhaps an American Oligarchy

Corrupt to the core

With riches for the Oligarchs

Leaving the rest of us poor

AGENT COMRADE TRUMP

In a secret Kremlin ceremony

Vladimir Putin

Is awarding Agent Comrade Trump

The Order of Lenin

Agent Comrade Trump

Was given the mission

By President Putin

Of disrupting the American nation

In that task Agent Comrade Trump

Was unbelievably successful

Reducing proud America

To squabbling pockets of the resentful

Agent Comrade Trump’s

Crowning glory

Was shutting down the government

Which was peachy and hunky dory

So the American nation

Sputters along

Ashamed of what it has become

Wondering what went wrong

What went wrong was giving

The office of the Presidency

To an oligarch wannabe

Concerned only with his ascendency

RUSSIAN AGENT, GOV'T SHUTDOWN, . . .UM?

The New York Times reported

The FBI had investigated

Whether the Petulant Orange One

Was a full-fledged Russian agent

As the news came out the Orange One

Was in happy contemplation

Of the longest government shutdown

In the history of the nation

Not accusing but just saying

Shutting down the government

For an agent of Putin

Would be quite an accomplishment

Certainly warranting an Order of Lenin

WORKERS GET NO CHECKS, POLS GO HOME

With nothing happening in DC

McConnell went home to Kentucky

Where he could enjoy some local whisky

The Petulant Orange One

Proud of the longest shut down in history

Hold up in the White House

His negotiating skills a mystery

Nancy and Chuck

Sticking obstinately to their strategy

Step 1, step 2, step 3

Also a complete mystery

So the world’s greatest nation

Staggered into the unknown

Hungry for leadership

From leaders who had gone home

KEYSTONE COPS

The world’s pre-eminent nation

Is playing children’s games

Thanks mostly to a President whose talent

Is calling people names

Nancy and Chuck bear some responsibility

Because their stance is pretty much

Step 1, step 2, step 3,

With no deviating, not even for lunch

Senate Majority Leader McConnell

Supposedly a master parliamentarian

Seems unable to adjust

To a murky fast-changing situation

The ultimate result is

A government staggering drunkenly

Mostly due to

The worst negotiator in history

DUNNING-KRUGER PRESIDENT

The Dunning-Kruger effect: “Put simply, incompetent people think they know more than they really do, and they tend to be more boastful about it.” (Angela Fritz, The Washington Post, 1/7/2019.)

The Dunning-Kruger President

Fits the Petulant Orange One

Like a speedo fits a male swimmer

Leaving nothing to the imagination

Incompetent? that’s Orange One, error margin of zero

Thinks he knows more than he really does? Ditto

Boastful? Like that male swimmer in his speedo

Rarely has a concept

From social psychology

Fit a human specimen

So perfectly and precisely

HO HUM

The Petulant Orange One called it

A crisis of the heart and soul

Two items that are rarely

Associated with his human role

The Orange One made an effort

To show a bit of empathy

But his gritted teeth told

A somewhat different story

Nancy and Chuck responded

With logic, facts, and rationality

Which are also attributes beyond

The Orange One’s range of compatibility

The Orange One did say

He supports the Democrats' steel barrier

Which sounded like a desperate attempt

To keep his nose above water

HE’S GOIN’ ON TV!

The Giant Orange Loon

Will address the nation

And convince us of the need

For a huge wall construction

The problem is he will

Be throwing out numbers

That have no relation to reality

That are just confusing inaccurate jumbles

How will the crises end?

That is anybody’s guess

The Giant Orange Loon

Certainly won't be giving us a rest

"PAY"

When the typical working American

Hears the word “pay”

He or she thinks of money changing hands

In return for goods, services, or maybe just the time of day

But such is not the case

When a huckster real estate developer

Says Mexico will “pay” for the wall

This “pay” being exponentially fuzzier

The Petulant Orange One

Is asking Americans to accept

His ludicrous interpretation

Of a financial event

OUR GREAT HONOR

It is a great honor

To be a live citizen

At this time

In the history of the nation

You can tell your grandkids

You survived the reign

Of the worst President ever

Incompetent, inept, and untamed

This guy was horrible

A complete and utter huckster

His meager knowledge of anything

Was overshadowed by his bluster

WALL

No, Orange Buffoon

The entire Mexican border

Does not need a wall

To maintain law and order

No, Nancy Pelosi

A wall is not immoral

Some barrier is desirable

So stop acting like it's deplorable

You both need to compromise

But especially you, Orange Thing

You are acting too much

Like a two-bit medieval king