The Appalachian Trail should be closed. It is a threat to the moral fiber of the nation. It presents the nation's youth with temptations most of them are not prepared to resist. Their time is better spent watching reality shows, playing video games, twittering, and becoming obese. If a respected Republican governor can fall prey to the temptations of the Trail, what chance do lesser mortals have?
But, you say, I must seek my soul mate. Soul mate, rat bait, my friend. Yes, there are soul mates to be found on the Trail. But soul mates are the path to eternal damnation. Does the Pope have a soul mate? Not hardly. What's good enough for the leader of Roman Catholicism is good enough for you.
Soul mates are the product of the effete liberal elite. Do Bill O'Reilly, Shawn Hannity, Rush Limbaugh, or Glenn Beck have soul mates? No way. And why not? Because they stay off the Appalachian Trail
So let's remove this threat to our country. How? If each of you sends me $50, I will ensure that the mission is accomplished.
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Can you just ask for "stimulus" funds to rid us of this evil place? I'm sure Sanford will give you some of his allotment since he did not want to accept it.
ReplyDeleteI wish someone would have talked to me about not needing a soul mate. I wish this posting would of come out two years ago, but if that is the case I really would have no reason to read a blog from Cranky Old Guys.
ReplyDeleteHow about I write an IOU for $5? They do that in CA.
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