The cranky old guy lives in an upscale suburban neighborhood of the nation’s capital. A goodly proportion of the climbing, networking young families populating the neighborhood depend upon au pairs, or nannies as they are sometimes called, to hold the household together. The two adults can thus pursue their dreams and careers in government, the K Street law firms, or whatever, while the children are under the protective care of the finest young women of Europe, Latin America, or the Far East.
Of course, a nanny-dependent economy is not without its issues. One such issue was recently posted on the website of the cranky old guy’s neighborhood. Incidentally, communication via neighborhood website is fast becoming an integral component of modern urban and suburban life, but comments on this phenomenon are beyond the scope of the present piece. Anyway, the issue posted on the cranky old guy’s neighborhood website concerned nannies and Christmas bonuses: “Is there a standard for nanny Christmas bonuses? Any advice?”
Before responding to this inquiry, the cranky old guy, prompted by his too-much-time-on-his-hands son-in-law, must ask a question: “Is the nanny hot?” Depending on the answer to that question, the cranky old guy has two lists of suggestions.
BONUSES FOR THE NON-HOT NANNY
1. Christmas morning off.
2. Twenty-five dollars.
BONUSES FOR THE HOT NANNY
1. The gentleman of the house serves the nanny breakfast in bed.
2. The gentleman of the house gives the nanny a therapeutic massage.
3. The gentleman of the house and the nanny take Christmas week off, and maybe the next week too.
4. At least $500, more in "special" cases.
Okay, so the cranky old guy is also a dirty old man. He’s just happy that back when he and the Mrs. were a young couple, he was not surrounded by the temptations that now pervade his neighborhood.
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I am somewhat surprised that Cranky still has that 'too much time on his hands son in law' after a comment like that. Aside from that, I believe it is definitely a question that needed to be asked.
ReplyDeleteFrom the outsiders perspective, I truly believe the answer lies in what you would want your 'too much time on his hands son in law' to do if he were place into that situation himself. I am sure he is an upstanding person in the community, but how is he utilizing his time? I think believe he may be off base..and as Cranky admitted he is an dirty old man...the question of 'Is she hot?' should be replaced by 'Would ya?' Let your conscience be your guide kemosabe. I am wondering if this is a one or two little blue pill evening....
I think the son-in-law should keep his comments to himself, and Cranky is as dangerous now as he was when he was a young guy. I guess the bottom line is, you're both "dirty".
ReplyDeleteCranky just moves a little slower these days than when he was younger...still a good looking guy though.
ReplyDeleteI understand Cranky has a nice couch in the basement. Maybe Cranky and his son-in-law can share it.
ReplyDelete- Cranky's daughter/too-much-time-on-his-hands-son-in-law's wife
hey... cranky's son-in-law never asked to be blogged about. who reads this thing anyway?
ReplyDeleteOne must wonder what does happen at the 'Cranky' household. Maybe the Nanny does live there afterall. Could the Nanny actually end up being the 'too much time on his hands son in law?' That would be an ironic twist.
ReplyDeletePerhaps the NANNY is Cranky's wife in disguise, in other words, the son-in-law's mother-in-law? I think Cranky should continue writing in this vein instead of all the serious stuff. Obviously, Cranky has caught everyone's eye with his "naughty" humor....a little 'desperate husbands' on Alabama Avenue?
ReplyDelete