THE ASSAULT

The cranky old guy’s street came under assault today. Two front-loaders, a convoy of dump trucks, assorted support vehicles, a crew numbering in the double digits, and multiple supervisors descended. Usually a force of this size and complexity indicates a water main break or a major street repair. So what was this army after?

Leaves.

That’s right, leaves. Like from trees. For a number of weeks, the leaves had been in the gutters on the edge of the street, raked and dumped there by residents as they had been accustomed to do for many years. And for many years, the city leaf truck—a truck with a big vacuum nozzle—had, with a crew of two, swept the street clean, usually by mid-December.

But this year was different. One or two early leaf runs had occurred by the latter part of November. But the expected final run, the big run, did not come. Mid-December came and went. Christmas came and went. New Years came and went. The leaves remained.

Maybe the residents of our fair city haven’t been paying enough taxes. Maybe this was cosmic punishment for some unknown offense. Maybe the city authorities just forgot. But whatever the reason, leaves were clogging the street, occupying parking spots, reducing the travel lane to a narrow canyon between towering walls of decomposing detritus.

But today we finally saw our city government in action, in spades. The assault force—the front-loaders, the dump trucks, the support vehicles, the crew and supervisors—arrived and attacked. One front-loader pushed leaves into the other front-loader, which dumped the leaves into a dump truck. As one truck was filled and pulled away, another moved into place. A few of the crew participated in the action. Many helped the supervisors supervise. A lengthy lunch break was taken.

Finally, five hours after commencing, the assault force moved to another street. Many leaves remained. After all, picking up leaves with a front-loader is an imprecise endeavor at best.

And the leaf truck? The truck that formerly swept the street bare in 45 minutes, with a crew of two? It was nowhere to be seen.

DSH