Republicans come in two kinds: Money Republicans and Chump Republicans. Money Republicans, also known as 19th Hole Republicans for their propensity to arrive at simplistic solutions to the world’s complex problems over alcohol after 18 holes, are in turn of two varieties: Wall Street and Main Street. The Wall Streeters are the big boys, the ones with the real bucks. The Main Streeters are your local movers and shakers, the country club crowd. A common characteristic of both varieties is an inability to comprehend that everybody doesn’t have money.
Chump Republicans are ordinary folk who have somehow come to believe that they share common values with the Money Republicans. In some cases those values are known as family values. Many sincere Christians, overlooking the general moral and ethical sordidness of a good portion of Money Republicans, come to the Republican Party through this route. In other cases, the perceived shared value is simply a dislike of authority, and hence government, in general. But what this group of Chump Republicans misses is that the Money Republicans are not necessarily anti-government, just anti-any government they do not control. For still another group of Chump Republicans, the value shared with the Money Republicans is an abhorrence of the chaotic nature of the alternative, the Democratic Party.
And like the Republican Party, the Democratic Party also comes in two varieties: Money Democrats and Chump Democrats. Money Democrats, also called Victim Democrats and Whinny Democrats, and more accurately called Lack-of-Money Democrats, don’t have all the money they figure they’re entitled. The reason for the lack of money may be race, geography, occupation, or simply inadequate initiative. Whatever the reason, Money Democrats believe they got shafted in some way, shape, or form and want government to do something about it.
Chump Democrats have over-sized hearts and want to help the Lack-of-Money Democrats. The desire to help is unclouded by the question of whether or not a particular group of Lack-of-Money Democrats have a legitimate beef.
DSH
Monday, October 24, 2005
Thursday, October 06, 2005
Wahoo Spin Artists
This commentary is dedicated to all true blue (and orange) Wahoo Cavalier U of VA football fans - both of you. Yes, it was another sad weekend when the highly touted home team got their collective butt kicked by an unranked and pretty much worthless conference rival that is coached by a happy fat guy who has no business running any team higher than division one A high school league (Yes, I mean the Terps).
But the phenomenon that is really of interest is the clever manner in which the good folks in C’ville are able, year after year after year, to spin an enormous amount of pre-season hype that convinces the national pollsters that the Wahoos are really top ten (or at least top twenty) material. Top fifty, certainly. But the ‘Hoos have never completed a full season that would justify the hype that constantly projects them into the ranks of the really big collegiate football powerhouses.
Yet there is real irony here because Mr. J’s beloved “academical village” (as they call it in Hook-ville) does not have a school or college of communications or media relations. You would think that with the ability that the athletic department has of deluding all the football polling organizations into believing that this is a top ten program that students wanting to study public relations would be lining up to study with such real pros.
And speaking of the media, I hope that all of you will join the Cranky Old Guys in protesting the coverage (or rather, lack of coverage) that the blue-and-orange gets form The Washington Post. Plenty of ink to spill on the Terps and Hokies, but the only front page (A-1) banner headlines ever give to the ‘Hoos is when they lose - never when they win. And why does the Post assign a full-time staff member to cover the Terps and Hokies but uses a stringer for the Cavs? This biased policy has been in effect for many years and is an affront to everyone who has sung a druken chorus or two of "The Good Old Song."
But enough of this whining. Let’s focus on the things that really matter in the academic world - such as the new Wahoo marching band in full uniform with plumes in their hats and all sorts of neat stuff. Yeah, that’s what it’s all about!
JBY
But the phenomenon that is really of interest is the clever manner in which the good folks in C’ville are able, year after year after year, to spin an enormous amount of pre-season hype that convinces the national pollsters that the Wahoos are really top ten (or at least top twenty) material. Top fifty, certainly. But the ‘Hoos have never completed a full season that would justify the hype that constantly projects them into the ranks of the really big collegiate football powerhouses.
Yet there is real irony here because Mr. J’s beloved “academical village” (as they call it in Hook-ville) does not have a school or college of communications or media relations. You would think that with the ability that the athletic department has of deluding all the football polling organizations into believing that this is a top ten program that students wanting to study public relations would be lining up to study with such real pros.
And speaking of the media, I hope that all of you will join the Cranky Old Guys in protesting the coverage (or rather, lack of coverage) that the blue-and-orange gets form The Washington Post. Plenty of ink to spill on the Terps and Hokies, but the only front page (A-1) banner headlines ever give to the ‘Hoos is when they lose - never when they win. And why does the Post assign a full-time staff member to cover the Terps and Hokies but uses a stringer for the Cavs? This biased policy has been in effect for many years and is an affront to everyone who has sung a druken chorus or two of "The Good Old Song."
But enough of this whining. Let’s focus on the things that really matter in the academic world - such as the new Wahoo marching band in full uniform with plumes in their hats and all sorts of neat stuff. Yeah, that’s what it’s all about!
JBY
Sunday, October 02, 2005
ARMY TEN MILER
Today, the terrorists won, at least if winning is described as getting us to significantly change our routine. In response to a suspicious package sighting shortly after the start of the Army Ten Miler in Arlington, Va., and Washington, D.C., the 20,000 runners were diverted from the planned course at the 7-mile mark. They ended up running approximately 11 miles in what is being described as a “fun run.”
The sighting of the suspicious package was by a unit of a local police organization, described in some accounts as the harbor police. The sighting occurred just shortly after the start of the race. The location of the package was reported to be under the Fourteenth Street bridge. The bridge was on the last leg of the course.
If a mere report of a suspicious package is enough to shut down a race, perhaps the time has come to end mass public races. The Army Ten Miler, the Marine Corps Marathon, the New York Marathon, and many others attract thousands of participants and consequently are in theory desirable terrorist targets. And if mass public races continue, inevitably the day will come when one is the subject of a terrorist attack.
But just about any public gathering is the possible subject of a terrorist attack, so not venturing from one’s home would seem to be the only real solution.
Perhaps in the days ahead we will be given more details on the “suspicious package.” The cranky old guy’s thought is that it had better be a darn big suspicious package. It was apparently under the bridge. Therefore, to injure runners, it would have to bring down the bridge. A suspicious package this size is no longer a package.
For a mere “package,” this is how the cranky old guy would have handled the situation if he were the race director. As runners approached the bridge, someone with a bull horn would yell: “There may be a bomb under the bridge, so proceed at your own risk. If you do proceed, be best advised to move quickly.” Okay, so maybe that’s why no one has asked the cranky old guy to be a race director.
Seriously though, the cranky old guy thinks that someone may have overreacted in this instance. In these times, mass races entail a risk of mass casualties. If mass races are to continue, both the participants and the sponsors and conductors have to accept these risks. And in securing the course to the best of their ability, the sponsors and conductors need to do a more thorough job than what seems to have been a last minute inspection.
A long, long time ago in a place far, far away, the cranky old guy was a military law enforcement officer in an environment where suspicious packages were a dime a dozen. Infrequently, a suspicious package report turned out to be legitimate. So the cranky old guy is not unmindful of the dangers of suspicious packages and the need for care and vigilance. But dagnabit, he was having a good race.
DSH
The sighting of the suspicious package was by a unit of a local police organization, described in some accounts as the harbor police. The sighting occurred just shortly after the start of the race. The location of the package was reported to be under the Fourteenth Street bridge. The bridge was on the last leg of the course.
If a mere report of a suspicious package is enough to shut down a race, perhaps the time has come to end mass public races. The Army Ten Miler, the Marine Corps Marathon, the New York Marathon, and many others attract thousands of participants and consequently are in theory desirable terrorist targets. And if mass public races continue, inevitably the day will come when one is the subject of a terrorist attack.
But just about any public gathering is the possible subject of a terrorist attack, so not venturing from one’s home would seem to be the only real solution.
Perhaps in the days ahead we will be given more details on the “suspicious package.” The cranky old guy’s thought is that it had better be a darn big suspicious package. It was apparently under the bridge. Therefore, to injure runners, it would have to bring down the bridge. A suspicious package this size is no longer a package.
For a mere “package,” this is how the cranky old guy would have handled the situation if he were the race director. As runners approached the bridge, someone with a bull horn would yell: “There may be a bomb under the bridge, so proceed at your own risk. If you do proceed, be best advised to move quickly.” Okay, so maybe that’s why no one has asked the cranky old guy to be a race director.
Seriously though, the cranky old guy thinks that someone may have overreacted in this instance. In these times, mass races entail a risk of mass casualties. If mass races are to continue, both the participants and the sponsors and conductors have to accept these risks. And in securing the course to the best of their ability, the sponsors and conductors need to do a more thorough job than what seems to have been a last minute inspection.
A long, long time ago in a place far, far away, the cranky old guy was a military law enforcement officer in an environment where suspicious packages were a dime a dozen. Infrequently, a suspicious package report turned out to be legitimate. So the cranky old guy is not unmindful of the dangers of suspicious packages and the need for care and vigilance. But dagnabit, he was having a good race.
DSH
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